Fall Through The Stars
by DeepCrimson91
Summary: Life is full of obstacles to overcome, some greater than others. Holly Jules has firsthand experience with this. This is the story of Holly Jules and Edward Cullen, and the things that destiny throws at them. Sequel to Shooting the Moon. Hope you enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author's note:**

**So this is the sequel to Shooting the moon, it pretty much picks up where we last left off so hopefully no confusion.**

**Hope you enjoy it .**

**R & R**

**Xxx**

Third person POV

Sandra and Jason Jules stood with tears in their eyes as the doctor pronounced their first child dead. As he covered her beautiful but battered face with a white sheet, they pondered if they were doing the right thing.

Holly had seemed so calm about her coming death and the letters they found she had written showed that she understood that her life was coming to an end. There were no regrets, no bitterness just acceptance and love.

As they said their last goodbyes to their daughter they wondered if the choice they had made was really what she would have wanted or if they were governed by their own selfish nature.

Refusing to let her go because it would hurt them too much.

Would she see eternal life as a blessing or a curse?

Would she want to live forever as an 18 year old never to see her friends again because they would think she died?

Never to go to university next September as she had been planning.

Never to have children and give them all the love she held inside her.

Was death really the better option for their daughter instead of what they had chosen for her?

Would the pain of losing everything cancel out the happiness of having the chance to live again?

Ashleigh meanwhile had no such thoughts, her mind was centred on how her sister would smile again. She didn't think of what the after effects may be. Whether or not her sister may have wanted to live forever, to never die or age or change. No, as always Ashleigh concentrated on herself and the benefits of having her sister with her. Never having to be put through the pain of losing her.

These were just some of the thoughts that kept the family silent as the doctors took Holly to the morgue. There would be no post mortem as the cause of death was known. To the doctors it was a fatal blood clot caused by a tragic road accident. To the family it was the bitter revenge of a mentally unstable teenage boy.

It had hurt Holly's parents to learn that their daughter had endured so much without complaint, without telling them about it. The phone call she had given them whilst in Bath had only hinted at the problem that really existed. Sandra cursed the fact that she had not noticed the fear in her daughter's voice when she told her of Jack and his 'pestering' whilst Jason held nothing but anger and blame for himself that he had been unable to protect her.

Carlisle and Edward had returned to their world whilst the Jules family came to terms with what was ahead of them. Carlisle knew that on some level they hadn't understood what they had asked him to do. Not really. They were just desperate to keep her with them. If it were just for them he would probably have refused, their reasons were not clearly thought out.

But the look on his first son's face when they had received the letters had made him resolute that he would do whatever he could to save the girl that had brought his son to life again. When they had stood in her hospital room and he saw Edward's sobs rip through him he knew that if this girl was lost forever he would never get Edward back from that. He would be left with an empty shell of the boy who had been his first companion. When Ashleigh told him to save her, he refused though he knew deep down he would. Part of him knew Edwards views on this life therefore he wouldn't change her unless he knew Edward wanted it too.

The moment Edward had decided, he knew that their family could still be saved from the pain of seeing Edward fall apart in front of them. They could still have a happy ever after.

* * * * *

The hour Holly was in the morgue at the hospital was the longest hour Jason had ever experienced. Ever since they made the decision to let Carlisle save her, he had been ticking down the minutes to when they could finally take Holly home. He was a little apprehensive at the idea of a secret portal within their home. Even more worried that Holly had been able to hide it from them, even introduce them to these people knowing what they were and never letting on.

His daughter had been able to hide all of this from him and it made him wonder. Had he ever really noticed his daughter? Surely if he knew her as well as he thought he did, she wouldn't be able to hide something so monumental. He had watched countless rugby games with Edward and his brothers, talked with Rosalie and Alice, even invited Carlisle and Esme to the salsa class he and Sandra went to. He should have known there was something different about them, not that they appeared threatening but there was just something about them. The similarities between them though they were of no relation. The cold temperature of their skin that he had just put down to poor circulation. The odd moments when it seemed they communicated in near silence, just whispers to his ears.

He didn't hate the Cullen's but he felt a little foolish and ignorant for never noticing what was right in front of him.

* * * * *

The ambulance took Holly's body back to their home. The hospital didn't ask any questions about why they wanted her body back at their home. It was for the best since they were in no state to lie. Excitement was buzzing through Ashleigh whilst nerves threatened to cripple Sandra and Jason.

Edward met them at the door and helped bring her limp body into the house after the ambulance drove away. Curtains twitched as nosy neighbours watched the sad procession enter the house. They would be asking questions in a couple of days, pretending to be concerned for the family but really just rooting for gossip to spread.

Edward walked through the house up to Holly's bedroom, holding Holly's deathly still body in a bridal style. Sandra desperately tried not to see the similarities between this walk to her daughter bedroom door and a funeral procession.

Slow and sombre.

Her room didn't seem any different but somehow everything had changed. The sun didn't flood through the southern facing window, instead the light was cool and dim. The photographs and drawings Sandra had always loved to look at suddenly brought a lump to her throat. They were full of Holly. The drawings screamed her emotions and love of life, whilst the photographs documented how she had grown and lived every moment to the fullest. It hurt to see that the room seemed to hold more life than her daughter's deathly sleeping body.

Edward stood in front of the poster Holly had gotten for her 18th birthday. She was so happy that day, finally 18, finally free to live life to the fullest. Now look at her, sleeping dead in a statues arms.

It seemed surreal.

Sandra smiled weakly at the memory of when her daughter had received that poster. It was obvious she was smitten with this Edward character ever since she read the twilight saga, she talked non-stop about it. But when she got given the poster by her friend she blushed as if it was some big secret. Then again Holly had always kept her emotions close to her chest, never wanting to let on how she really felt. Jason knew she got this from him. He never felt the need to open himself up with emotional talks or constant affection. His family knew how he felt about them. However the idea that Holly had the same discomfort at showing emotion troubled him. She had always been such a quietly confident girl. Not like Ashleigh who was loud and could demand your attention. Holly would sit patiently waiting for it, comfortable that she didn't have to 'in your face' to get it. He hated to think his bad habits had rubbed off on his daughter. That she had gone through life embarrassed to show people how she really felt. Had she ever missed out just because she had copied his behaviour? Jason hoped not.

Sandra watched Edward with careful eyes; he was so gentle with Holly in his arms. Holding her as if she was the most precious thing in his world. Was it possible that the character her daughter had loved so much could love her also? Did Holly love him too? The possibilities made Sandra's heart glow, if it was true her daughter wouldn't have to lose everything she could gain something worth so much more than what she lost.

The Jules family stared as the poster melted away in front of them, revealing a swirling mist that seemed so fine it would disintegrate at any moment. Ashleigh heard her parents gasp as Edward stepped through the mist and disappeared before them, along with Holly. She stepped into the mist and turned back to hold her parents hands.

It was time for them to see the world Holly had loved so much.

* * * * *

Ashleigh's POV

My parents looked around nervously at the gorgeous hallway we stood in. It was hard not to be taken aback by the light open spaces that somehow felt safe and secure. Just like home.

I had loved the Cullen house from the moment Holly first brought me here. It was so fresh and modern.

Only Esme was present as we stood there in the hallway. She reached out to my parents with a loving caring face. She looked like a caramel haired Snow White. So motherly and soft looking, even though her body was rock hard.

"I'm so sorry for what has happened to Holly. We were beyond distraught when Ashleigh gave us the letter. She's become like part of the family, so special to all of us. They both have." She gave me a quiet but sorrowful smile. "The thought of losing her..." Esme cut off a sob choking her voice. I knew this must be hurting her. She had lost a child before and this would feel the same.

"Thank you Esme, we can't put into words how grateful we are. This has all been so much to take. I don't think my head has stopped spinning. Where is she?" Mum had always liked Esme and that wouldn't change now. The Cullens had warmed their way into all our hearts and so they were as much family to us as our actual family . Maybe even more so since our other family didn't really contact us often. They probably didn't even know Holly was dead, dying, or whatever she was. I didn't look forward to teh day of Holly's funeral when my several aunts and uncles would console my parents whilst my cousins acted as if the world hadn't changed at all.

"Carlisle is just making her comfortable in the guest room. I'll take you there now but I think it would be best if we left him with her at the beginning of the change. It can affect us all in different ways" Esme's voice gave away nothing of just how the change would effect her. I was glad, I couldn't bare the thought of my parents backing out now. I needed their ignorance to last until Holly was bitten and it was irreversible.

My parents nodded almost happy that they would be moving forward. Of course they didn't know what I knew. They thought it would be painless and quick just like dying but I knew the burning Holly would have to endure. I felt a twinge of guilt at having chosen this for her but she was strong, she would last through it.

My big sister could do anything.

We made our way upstairs. Mum and Dad were quiet, maybe contemplating if they'd made the right choice, or maybe just stunned by how pretty the house was. No cobwebs or coffins here. When I'm older I definitely want a house like this.

The Cullens certainly have style.

As we entered the doorway to where Holly was kept the sight we saw was a shock, but a good one to an extent.

The whole family was crowded in the small room, each one showing mixed emotions. Rosalie looked deeply upset, she wouldn't have wanted this for my sister. She hadn't wanted this for herself. But anger would flash every now and then in her eyes. She knew this was no accident and fury must have been lighting her veins at who had brought Holly to this point. I wonder how she would kill Jack, did she even know? Maybe I could persuade her to tear him apart. Make him feel just a small amount of the pain he'd put Holly through.

Emmett looked worried but part of me thought that maybe he liked the idea of Holly being one of them. Especially a newborn, that gave too many opportunities to pass up. He liked immortality but that didn't mean he liked that Holly had been forced into it.

Alice's face was the hardest to watch second only to Jasper who had every emotion in the room flooding his face. I was afraid he would buckle under the pressure but something made him stay.

Alice was distraught. I could hear her muttering about the future being unclear, her blindness. It made me uneasy but like Schrödinger's cat till the box is opened anything is possible. Though there was a chance Holly might not make it or be happy there was an equal chance she would. It was that chance that kept me filled with hope.

Esme comforted my parents and the Cullens separated to let them through to my sister's bedside. I stayed at the foot of the bed, with the whole family behind me. The big white bed nearly swallowed Holly up completely it was so plush.

Edward had returned to his place beside Holly opposite my parents. He had his eyes closed and his forehead resting on his and Holly's intertwined hands. His lips were moving in what seemed like silent prayer but nothing could be heard. I remembered the first time I'd met him, I'd just found out about the portal so obviously I was in shock.

Then I saw Edwards face in front of me and I swear to god I nearly fainted at the beauty of it. That boy was sex on legs and I couldn't stop the lustful thoughts running through my head. He must have thought I was some kind of sex fiend. I'm glad to say since that meeting I've managed to immune myself. Not completely, sometimes thoughts would slip through but to be honest I had never been an Edward girl. It was all about the hot sexiness of Jacob Black for me. Still I wondered how Holly managed to control herself. It's not like she got a lot of attention off the guys her age anyway so I'm surprised she didn't self combust whenever Edward looked her way.

I listened to my parents talking to Holly, telling her everything would be ok. That they'll be there when she woke up. That they loved her. I merely told her "be brave and I'll see you when you wake up Holls" I didn't bother saying goodbye, she'd wake up in 3 days. I couldn't doubt it.

With our words said we left Carlisle and Edward in the room, Edward had refused to leave her side and I was glad someone would be there with her whilst she waited out the pain.

The family headed downstairs and we followed, sitting on the white sofas in silence. Everyone was too deep in their own thoughts to talk.

I chuckled.

"What's funny Ash?" Alice seemed happy to have a distraction, even if it was just for a short time.

"Holly would have hated this silence" With that the tension in the room cleared a little. They would do anything for Holly, even if she wasn't awake to know it.

* * * * *

Third person POV

It had been 2 hours since Carlisle injected Holly with his venom. He could have bitten her but the injection seemed less brutal and it allowed him to inject straight to her heart.

Edward watched as the plunger sent the venom coursing into Holly's veins, he hadn't wanted this for her. Ever since he met her he never once thought of changing her. Condemning her to this life. But now he couldn't see a future that didn't include her. He realised he had always wanted her forever, this accident had just been the catalyst to his decision.

By now the fire should be raging, she should be writhing in agony. She should be burning.

But she wasn't screaming or appearing to be in pain, it wasn't right. Something wasn't right.

The silence had Carlisle worried. Every change he had witnessed had been brutal to watch but it was those things that told you it was working. Holly merely lay there as if asleep. Her breathing was even and back to normal and her heart rate had picked back up to its usually pace. The neurotoxin had worn off but the venom should have been making her heart race. Not even her body temperature had changed. These things were all both comforting and distressing to discover for the Cullens and Ashleigh. Holly's parents remained oblivious, sitting together trying to forget about what was happening.

Sandra hoped she had made the right choice, the Cullens were lovely and she couldn't say she disliked any of them. She could understand why Holly liked them so much.

One thing that thrilled and worried Sandra, in equal measure, was that the Cullens were all gorgeous in an otherworldly way. Would her baby girl still look like herself when all this was over?

It hurt to think that Holly might now be unrecognisable to her. The baby girl she had loved for 18 years. Would Holly even remember her?

It would have to be another question to ask Carlisle. The man seemed so calm about the whole situation, Sandra doubted that anything could shock him.

Little did she know that Holly's change was that one thing that could shock Carlisle.

It had been 4 hours now and still no change, not a whimper or flutter of her heart.

Carlisle had resorted to just monitoring her vitals.

It was frustrating but the only option.

Her family had visited her room several times, it made them happy to see she wasn't any worst. It was only Ashleigh who noticed that she wasn't any better either. That she wasn't going through the change. Her parents remained unaware. It was probably the best state of mind for them, better than giving them the added worry. They had been through so much already.

Esme had offered them the option to stay with them but to Jason and Sandra it seemed unfair to take over one of the family's rooms when they had a house of their own back in their world.

There it was easy to leave the situation of Holly's change behind, to forget for a moment and act as if everything was normal and not turned on its axis.

Sandra and Jason focused on the agonising event of organising Holly's funeral. It would take place in 10 days at the local church. Holly had always loved that place. It sat in amongst pretty cherry blossom trees that sent petals spiralling into the air during spring. With any luck her funeral would take place on a day when the blossom danced through the fresh spring breeze.

They had also arranged for an apple tree to be planted on the cliff top next to her cove. Similar to the one that grew in their garden. The one she used to climb every autumn as they picked apples. Jason remembered it was only Holly who would have the courage to climb to the very top, all just so that she could get the very reddest apples. He knew she would risk everything for something if it was truly worth it.

The cove had seeemed the perfect place to plant the world's reminded of Holly Jules. She had loved that place ever since a child so it seemed only right that something was there to represent her, whether she could visit it on not was still unknown.

The Cullens had remained quiet on that particular question, what would Holly be like when she woke up?

Holly's parents didn't know that the reason they never answered the question was because Carlisle had no answer. Alice's ability was disrupted by the fact Holly was invisible in her visions. For once the Cullens had no idea what would happen. They were blind and it made them all nervous.

Edward although worried by this couldn't help but see the comparison. Holly had always been unpredictable to him so it made sense she would continue to be even in death.

* * * * *

For 2 more days Holly lay unmoving, silent and unchanged. Edward sat like a statue by her side. His eyes had started to darken from their bright gold as he watched her remain in her damaged state.

Hope was leaving him with every passing hour, dark thoughts entering his mind at the prospect of having to endure Holly's death. Constingency plans formed in a part of his mind.

Jasper had come and gone throughout the 2 and a half days. Every time he entered the room he begged for something to come from Holly. He hadn't alerted Edward but Holly was giving off nothing, she was numb. It was a nice change from the fluxing emotions of his family members but her static emotion was unnerving.

On the third day everyone stood expectantly. Hope was the only emotion that filled the room, but it was wasted. She hadn't changed. She still had bruises, a steady heartbeat, a faint flush in her cheeks. She was still human, alive.

Something had happened to prevent her from becoming the vampire she should have and no one could understand why. Her family left disheartened, they finally knew something was wrong. Something hadn't happened like it should have, their Holly was still lying in that luxurious bed in the same state she had been in 3 days ago.

Carlisle was pained by the family's distress and spent that third night going over and over her vital charts. He knew there had to be something to show the venom in her system. But so far the only thing he could find was that the clot that had threatened her life had dissolved, like sugar in water.

It was on this third night he noticed something. Her vitals, although on a day to day basis seemed to be no different, when you put them in a chart sequence it showed that her heart rate had increased steadily till it was just above what it was when she was human. This tiny piece of information gave some hope to the situation that a few days ago had been hopeless.

The next 3 days brought even better news but that news meant that the family had to suffer through Holly's pain.

**Day 4 of the change (10.31 am)**

"Carlisle, her skin is healing, the bruises are fading. The cuts on her face are almost gone and I haven't check properly but the gash in her head seemed to have gone completely" Edward had rushed into Carlisle's office his eyes lit up.

They were now a honey colour, he wouldn't last much longer maybe a few more days before they turned black. Edward knew Holly wouldn't want to see his black eyes when she woke up but he couldn't bring himself to leave her side to go hunt. He had waited almost 4 days for her to change just a little bit, he couldn't leave now.

"How long?" Hope lit Carlisle's face.

"I first noticed it around 7 am this morning. The cut on her hand had vanished and I started checking her over. The bruises had changed."

"I'll come check her heart rate in an hour, see if there's any substantial change"

There wasn't but her minor injuries were cleared and xrays showed her skull fracture and leg were healing quickly.

She looked like Holly again no longer the ruined rag doll.

**Day 5 (6.50 am)**

"Can you tell when she'll wake up?" Sandra was stroking her daughters forehead, they were all relieved to see her looking like herself.

"Unfortunately I can't. Holly's taken the venom very differently to all the others. I can't explain why but her change seems to be taking longer than usual" Carlisle felt bad for not having something concrete to tell them. He felt that is was his job as a doctor to help them understand, to have the answers, to be able to ease their worry with an explanation. But he couldn't find anything in the Vampire history books to explain what was happening. But then again something like this had never happened before, Holly after all was a human who had had no scent that ignited the thirst in their throat. She wasn't like the humans in their world, Carlisle's mind starting ticking over what this meant. He felt better that he might have a way to ease his puzzled mind. He took one last look at Holly.

She was completely healed now, it was hard to tell but it looked like a small smile lit her face.

An hour later that all changed. Everyone sat in the living room, Esme had made the Jules's dinner and now they all sat together like most nights since Holly lay upstairs. Ever since the third day it had become common place that the Jules family spent the majority of their days with the Cullens.

The moment it started each of the Cullens wished that the Jules weren't there.

That they didn't have to hear Holly's screams of agony.

**Day 5 (3.35 pm)**

"Why is she in so much pain?" Sandra's voice held almost the same amount of agony as her daughters that reverberated through the house sending chills down everyone's spine.

Every blood curdling scream caused Jason to fall apart a little bit more. Why had he done this to his little girl? How would she ever forgive him for putting her through something like this when she had been brave enough to accept her death the first time round? He didn't have enough answers that would clear his conscience because deep down he knew the only reason she was suffering now was because he hadn't been brave enough to let her go. Him and Sandra could only sob into each others arms as their daughter went through hell above them. There could be nothing worse than the pain of hearing your daughter scream in absolute agony.

Edward heard the tortured thoughts of her family downstairs and for a moment he felt anger. They knew nothing. They only heard her screams. He watched every scream roll through her body and when she was silent he saw her teeth clenched together to the point that he heard them crack under the pressure. Her lips bled as her teeth tore into the flesh that he used to find so tempting. Her blood dripped from her bleeding lips and he knew her throat must be red raw with the violence of her screams.

Her body writhed in a way that made it seem impossible. Her spine contorted and lifted from the bed as her muscles strained through her ivory skin.

Edward knew his blackening eyes were governing his emotions, he didn't really feel anger towards these people he felt anger towards himself. He was putting the one person he truly cared about through the burning flames of hell. It was his fault that she lay in agony and he thought that he almost felt her pain echoed through her hand that he held tightly in his own. If it was possible to take her pain away, to endure the burn for her he would. Anything to stop the horror in front of him.

Although Edward wouldn't wish this sight on anyone he couldn't help but think her family knew nothing of true torture.

**Day 6 (1.30pm)**

"She's ethereal" Alice was standing over Holly's form smiling. The screams had changed to whimpers and then low moans around ten o'clock last night. They finally stopped at lunchtime today.

The change may have been gradual but the difference between the old Holly and the woman in front of Alice was visible. Her hair was lustrous, full of volume and depth. The colour was more vibrant than it used to be. Her features were more defined.

_Rosalie may have a rival_

Alice thought with humour.

She knew Holly would never flaunt her beauty as Rosalie did but part of Alice thought that perhaps that would only enhance it. That the fact she didn't expect attention for her looks would make people more willing to give it to her.

There was still a noticeable difference between her and the rest of the vampire kind. She didn't look carved from marble like them. She wouldn't stand out like they do, but Alice could quarantee she would still stand out. Like when a beautiful girl enters a room. No one shrinks away from her in fear but they know she is something so much more than human.

"She looks different" Holly's father hadn't been as happy about the change in his daughter as her mother and sister. They had revelled in her enhanced beauty. He just saw that she wasn't his little girl anymore. He just hoped that underneath all the stunning physical changes she was still Holly. That there was still a small semblance and how she used to be. Whether it be her quiet confidence, dislike for silence, or just the way she would chew on her bottom lip out of nervous habit.

Whilst the humans marvelled at her change, the vampires in the house puzzled over her heart rate. It had started to race during her screams but slowed to it's usual rate in the early afternoon. It now had a steady beat that hadn't changed since.

Edward was in awe at the way her skin had started to harden a little.

It was hard to describe. Her skin wasn't marble like his but caught somewhere between the soft skin of a human and the granite cold texture of a marble statue that his kind possessed. It seemed durable but still soft to touch, gloriously warm like it always had been. He wondered for a moment what it would look like in the sunlight. He had never shown her his skin in the sunlight. He hated how obvious the difference was between his diamond encrusted skin and human flesh.

**Day 6 (9.48 pm)**

Life continued as it had for the past 6 days, there had been nothing more that had happened to Holly. Her condition hadn't changed since early afternoon. The 2 families had both been anxious, the air was full of anticipation as if somehow they all knew that the moment could come at any second. Ashleigh played constantly with her hair whilst she paced around the living room. Jasper was highly strung and ansty, his movements were mere flickers to the Jules family.

Carlisle still hadn't managed to find anything to explain why the venom had been prevented from changing at its usual rate. It still fascinated him that she lasted 3 days of peaceful healing before the fire started to burn. He couldn't wait for her to wake up and find out how the venom had affected her. Would she be the same as them? It seemed unlikely but if she wasn't a vampire or a human that meant everything about her was an unknown entity. Suddenly Carlisle was nervous about his decision to allow her human family to be in the room for her awakening.

* * * * *

"2 minutes people! 2 MINUTES!!!" Alice shouted as she sped up the stairs. It had been a week since her last vision. The relief of no longer being blind thrilled her.

Excitement buzzed through the house, they all rushed to her room and waited at the end of the bed. Her family were to be behind the Cullen's just in case. No one would let her kill her family out of lack of control; she wouldn't forgive herself if they did.

"Edward you have to step back, she'll be confused and you might scare her" Carlisle knew it was better to be overly careful than just assume because he was her best friend she would welcome his presence. After all he wasn't sure if they had properly cleared the air. He only knew that whatever was in Edwards letter had changed everything.

Her heart rate had quickened, soon it would be nothing but a thrum and then stop completely.

Edward tore himself away from her and went to Carlisle's right hand side. He hoped his eyes were light enough so he didn't scare Holly.

"any second now" Alice was hugging herself between Ashleigh and Jasper. Rosalie and Emmett stood side by side, it was probably due to Rosalie that Emmett was actually standing still rather than making the floor tremble with his bounces of excitement.

Esme went to Carlisle's other side, curling herself to the side of his body as he wrapped his arm around her.

Her parents stood silent in the corner, her mother's excitement shone from her eyes whilst her father seemed a little more reserved. But the nerves showed in the fast tapping of his foot.

Her heart rate was almost at human pace. Just a few beats per minute too fast to be considered regular.

The beats continued. Perhaps it would just stutter then stop rather than slowing till it could slow no more?

A gasp sounded.

Holly's eyes flew open.

They were her sapphire blue with a visible violet tint.

But this wasn't the only surprise.

The main one being that she still had a heart beat.

**Author's note: do we like the first chapter?**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

I was born 15th June 1991.

I died 9th May 2009.

I was reborn 15th May 2009

*** * * * ***

**The change**

I lay in my Edward's arms for what seemed like eternity. The piercing beep had vanished a while ago.

I didn't know where I was or for how long I would stay here but Edwards presence kept me from focusing on these questions.

His hands traced patterns on my bare arm following the cuts and bruises that covered me. Each of his soothing touches and kisses healed my battered skin. I rested against his chest listening to the silence that echoed where his heartbeat should be.

"I could stay like this for all of time" I felt him smile at my words.

"Me also, but will you not miss your family, your friends?" His voice was soft but his words forced me to a place I didn't want to be. I couldn't think of them. That life was lost to me now I couldn't hurt myself by clinging to something that was an impossibility. If I wanted to be at peace I had to accept that my mortal life was over. For some reason with Edward next to me, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.

"I have you, forever. I have no regrets" I placed a kiss against his jaw. His marble skin was silky smooth under my lips. How could I give him up for my old life?

"You would have me forever no matter what you decided" Those topaz eyes stared into mine and I was transported back to that night at the dance. Those few moments during our dance when I thought I could be with him. The moments before the heartache. It just felt right.

The light around us had dimmed during our time together. It now didn't shine brightly but instead the soft light that glows at dusk. It made my mind think of sleep and I felt my eyes start to droop. Could I still sleep or was this feeling just how it felt to be completely blissed out? I looked to Edward for an answer.

"Sleep my angel, I'll be here when you wake up" I couldn't ignore that voice.

I let my lids close and sighed at the feel of him next to me.

If this was how it would be forever, I never wanted it to change.

* * * * *

When I finally opened my eyes it was dark around me. Edward's godly physique was vaguely visible lightly glowing in the darkness not far from where I lay.

I got to my feet, and made my way slowly towards him. I couldn't see my body in the darkness but when I reached him the light he gave off caused a soft glow to make my torso visible as I looked down.

He continued to stare off into the darkness his face blank from expression.

I touched his hand and his eyes met mine. He seemed as if the world was resting solely on his shoulders. I wanted to lift that weight from him, to share his burden.

I placed a soft kiss on his exposed throat, he sighed but it was tainted with sadness.

Before I could pull away completely he was in front of me his hands gently holding my face. His eyes were searching mine. But I couldn't figure out what he was searching for.

"Holly, I'm sorry"

"For what?"

"For what happened to you, I should have been there for you"

"you're here for me now, Edward"

He smiled a little but it didn't reach his troubled eyes.

"Do you trust me? Do you really want me forever?"

"I trust you with every thing in my soul. As for forever. I can think of no other way to spend it than by your side, no matter what"

His lips crushed to mine in a kiss that held so much emotion I could feel the warmth spreading through me in an instant.

This kiss wasn't like the others, passion heated it and it felt like fire was passing between us.

This feeling was indescribable, I felt myself open up and give everything I had to him.

Edwards lips left mine, I would have missed the contact but something else stole my attention completely.

The fire from the kiss burnt at my heart bursting it into a fiery inferno.

I screamed in agony, falling to the ground scratching at my chest.

I had to get the fire out, even if it meant tearing through my own skin.

Edward knelt beside me his hand locked in mine.

"forever Holly, forever remember that. Please promise me you'll remember"

His face was desperate and tortured but I couldn't focus my brain on him, my vision was blurring with the pain.

I could feel the fire spreading through my body with each steady heart beat.

It fought against some unknown force. Like the friction of walking through thick sticky mud. Images of the music festival I had been to last year appeared in my mind and I struggled to keep them from being burnt up in flames. At least that was something positive, my mind and memories were safe protected by something like a barrier against the flames. I kept Edward's words within that inpenetrable vault.

My blood boiled and rushed as the fire licked at my veins.

Edwards presence whispered words of love and peace as I burnt like a sacrifice, screaming and whimpering. I knew each sound that ripped from my throat hurt him but I could stop. I tried clenching my jaw together but I couldn't hold it in. Nothing could stop the torture from tearing through my throat.

The pain was excruciating but everywhere the fire touched trying to burn me to cinder, another force soothed me.

Trying to heal me.

Denying the fire the ability to change my completely.

I was caught in limbo neither flesh nor ashes.

* * * * *

After awhile the flames broke the skin, bursting out of me like my screams. Rushing out in orange ribbons into the ebony that surrounded me. The unknown life force in me chased the fire out, leaving my skin glowing like molten rock.

My heart was racing but I felt it start to slow as the fire left.

I vaguely felt my skin cool and harden but the soothing balm that had saved me melted over my granite skin softening it, making it less brittle. I no longer felt like I would crack from the heat, from the pressure of the pain.

I could handle the pain. I could control the screams. They soon faded to whimpers over time and finally left me completely.

* * * * *

I didn't know how long I had been burning, how long I had been curled with Edward next to me but now I felt powerful, rejuvenated. Like the fire had burnt away my weakness.

I tingled with the remnants of the heat.

A final wave of balm suffocated the last of the heat like a cloth over a burning flame.

Still darkness surrounded me and Edward, all I was aware of was Edwards hand in mine and my steady strong heart beat piercing the pressuring silence.

Edwards hand felt soft and cool in mine. The temperature was the same as always but the texture was different. I didn't feel the frail human anymore. I felt something more. He still felt firmer than me but it wasn't like stone. I felt like we were more equal than we had ever been. That the unblanced we were once to have had been replaced by something so much healthier.

We stayed in our motionless state for an immeasurable amount of time. Eventually restlessness made my muscles itch.

I yearned to move like I had been asleep for too long. I wanted to run and feel the power pulse through me.

There was a definite pull within me, it felt like I was being called home. I turned to Edward, but before I could say anything he smiled. This time it reached his eyes.

"Go, forever is waiting for you"

The idea of leaving this place, leaving Edward's comforting grasp scared me.

"Run" His bright gold eyes wiped away any doubt.

I flew through the air, feeling the pull lessen as the power in my legs catapulted me forward.

Light flooded from a keyhole in a door.

I needed to get to that light.

The darkness held nothing for me.

Everything I would ever need was held behind that door.

I grasped the door handle and flew it open. Closing my eyes against the unknown. Bright light hit my eyelids. I felt my eyes snap open.

I was home.

* * * * *

I gasped as I took in the room around me. My eyes had focussed instantly, they darted around the white ceiling above me. It was a perfect crisp white lit by light flooding from somewhere. Everything was in perfect focus, sharp and defined.

I could feel my senses coming back to me. They felt enhanced and amplified compared to my past self.

_My past self? Since when did I start differentiating between now and then?_

I knew why instantly. Everything with this new mind was instant. I had died. I knew that. But that couldn't be right, I could still feel my heart send blood pulsing through my veins. How did I still have a heart beat? I shoved that thought away as I inhaled again.

The air was full of smells I had never smelt before, I could almost taste them on my tongue.

Stagnant air mixed with a fresh flow coming from a slight draft. Perhaps a window? or a draft from an open door. I didn't really care I just loved the way the fresh air felt as it circulated.

I moved my fingers against the bed below me. I could feel the fibres that made up the fabric. As I scratched it with my nails I could smell the faint fresh cotton smell that came off it. But also felt the fabric tear easily in my grasp. I was stronger.

I could feel the whole of my body pressed into the fabric, I was aware of everything that brushed against my skin. The thin jersey dress I now wore rustled over the cotton sheets with every move I made. I was glad someone had thought to change me from the irritatingly scratchy hospital gown.

Everything was so clear and new, the few ordinary objects I could see seemed to be so different in this new eyesight.

I took another slow breath focussing on all the scents in the room. I was hit with smells of honey, lilac, sun and something deep and masculine like a fine musk. I didn't even know you could smell sun, not that I was complaining whatever it was it smelt divine. Next I picked up on hyacinth, raspberry, oak, vanilla, leather, seawater, mint, orange blossom, lavender, apple, cinnamon, honeysuckle, pear cherry brandy, lime, freshly cut grass, and something that smelt like fresh roses but more 'zingy'. The food like scents strangely didn't make my mouth water they were mixed with something. Some chemical substance that emanated from their source and registered in my brain. Like a pheromone. Telling me they weren't food.

I heard something come from the end of the bed. It was then that I took in the steady breathing of people in the room. The Cullens. But there were heartbeats.

3 heartbeats.

Realisation hit me.

My family.

I snapped up in one fluid motion.

I was faster.

My eyes focussed on the sight in front of me.

The Cullens stood statue still, they were so much more than I had remembered them. Their scents were stronger than before, I could faintly figure out which Cullen each smell came from. I smiled at them and they instantly relaxed in front of me. My mind wouldn't let me stay focussed on them.

I could hear the sound of the TV downstairs and the slight rustling of the leaves in the trees and babbling of the river outside the house. If I concentrated I was sure I could hear the passing of tyres on the tarmac of the main road at the end of the Cullen's driveway.

Well that's going to be interesting, hearing this well.

I could hear the accelerated sound of my parents breathing. Dad's foot was tapping nervously against the floor. Ashleigh seemed remarkably calmed, but what did I expect. She understood all this. Kind of.

"Mum, Dad, Ash?" I saw my family try to rush forward but Carlisle's hand shot out to stop them. I didn't mind so much. I was a new vampire. I think.

I didn't feel like a newborn.

Sure I felt strong and my senses were a lot better but I couldn't feel a burn ripping at my throat.

I looked down at my skin and stroked my hand against it.

It was soft, firm but kinda squidgy. Like my old human skin but with some vamp mixed in.

I leaned forward placing my hand in the light.

I wasn't the only one who gasped at what happened.

It didn't sparkle like a million diamonds, it shimmered. Like I had a body shimmer on. It was subtle and probably just a subtle glow to my families human eyes.

My mind was bouncing around, thoughts running off in different directions.

_Focus_

Instantly I could feel my brain organise itself into clear thoughts.

I wanted to see my family.

I wanted to understand what had happened.

I wanted to talk to the Cullens.

I wanted to know what happens now.

I wanted to know what I was.

My eyes flickered across each of the Cullens.

The scars were only faintly visible to me on Jaspers body, not the drastic definition Bella had described after her wake up. He seemed a little on edge his body placed slightly forward to protect Alice. A shift in his movement sent a whiff of leather and oak, the scents suited the warmth Jasper gave off and I relaxed futher.

Alice grinned next to Jasper, her teeth shining faintly in the natural light of the room. I subconsciously ran my tongue across my own teeth. They didn't feel razor sharper, but sharper than the blunt imperfection of my old teeth.

My eyes flicked to Rosalie and Emmett next. His face was hilarious, I swear he was gawping.

"Like what you see Emmett?" quoting the first thing he had said to me when we first met, I only briefly pondered why my human memories were still crystal clear. Emmett's mouth snapped shut into a face splitting grin.

I took a moment to take in my voice. It was pretty much the same, less scratchy but I still sounded like me. Not bells, not a symphony. I smiled a little at this. I was still me, just a bit different.

Rosalie smacked him on the back of the head and I faintly heard the wind whoosh as her hand whipped through the air.

"You're stunning Holly" She smiled a bright smile at me but her eyes showed she was...jealous??

No way, she could not be jealous. Whatever I was I could not have changed that much. No one could rival Rosalie's beauty.

Carlisle and Esme stood their arms wrapped around each other. Carlisle's head was cocked to the side slightly as if I was some puzzle he was having trouble solving. Esme just beamed love pouring out of her. Their scents harmonsied perfectly Carlisle was fresh and clean whilst Esme was sweet and soft. They matched perfectly. Each couple did.

Finally I found Edward. Standing next to Carlisle his face seemed guarded I couldn't ignore that his eyes were a dark honey colour. Soon they would be black. How long since he fed?

I had known Edward was beautiful but my new eyes took it to new heights, he was flawless. Every defined line of him was perfection.

He smiled slightly, I had been staring. Caught in the act.

I felt blood rush to my cheeks.

Edwards smile widened.

Great I could still blush; I was hoping that inconvenient part of being human would have been removed.

I eased myself out of the bed, marvelling at the sensation the carpet created on my bare feet. The short walk to the end of the bed took a split second of lithe graceful movement.

I stood there with my audience just staring at me.

It made me uncomfortable that no one spoke.

They knew I hated silence, if I had been a newborn this would have irritated the crap out of me.

"for god sake someone say something, do something. This silence is killing me"

In that instant my Dad chuckled and him Ash and Mum burst forward wrapping me in their arms. Their scents surrounded me. Dad smelled distinctly like lime and freshly cut grass. So fresh and clean. Mum's encapsulated warmth, cherry brandy and rich vanilla cream with just a hint of cinnamon. Ash was sweet but full of zest like lemon sorbet and rose petals an odd combination but it somehow smelt right.

They felt the same temperature, not the burning heat I had expected. Their tight grasp around me should have choked off my air but instead it felt comfortably firm but still light. I knew I was strong enough to injure them accidentally but I felt like monitoring my strength was effortless.

"you're here, I can't believe you're alive. I was so worried" Mum blubbered into my hair as I stroked her back.

She must have been through hell.

"I'm kinda jealous now Holls you're all pretty and stuff, I think I might have competition" Ash grinned next to me and I couldn't help but smile back feeling it light my face. She hadn't changed at all. This whole situation she'd just taken in her stride.

"You scared us there Holly-Berry" that was all my dad said as he ruffled my hair. He was never one for big emotional gestures, that's where I got it from. But with my dad it read all over his face. He didn't need to say it. Right now pride glowed from his eyes and relief and love relaxed his face into a warming smile.

Someone cleared their throat next to us.

My family stepped back as Alice pounced on me squealing in delight. I was hit with her scent of hyacinth and raspberries, it was pure Alice.

"Holly I've missed you so much, we all have. We're going to have serious words later about what the hell happened. But right now I have to do something" She beamed at the rest of the Cullens and bounced with excitement.

In a split second she was gone. Only this time I could make out her movements, not precisely they still blurred slightly but she was no longer near invisible.

She soon came back carrying a large black framed mirror. She set in down in front of me and I stood shocked at the woman in front of me.

My body was smooth defined curves, a slender small waist led to beautifully curved hips. My figure were covered in immaculate cream skin. Not alabaster but with some colour to it like ivory. My toned limbs seemed fluid and graceful as I rocked slightly on my feet. My boobs, well they were still on the larger side but now I felt that they added to the beauty of my frame rather than being an inconvenience. The perfect hourglass like one of those 50's pin up girls. My lips were ruby red instead of their chapped pink, I bit my full bottom lip as I nervously took in my eyes. I closed them before I saw the colour.

I mentally prepared myself for the crimson red I expected.

But when I opened my eyes I was met with a sparkling set of strong sapphire blue eyes, as I focussed closer I could make out a definite violet tinge that seemed to swirl behind the azure irises.

My hair fell thick and shiny down my chest, the waving light golden chesnut layers ending in gentle curls.

A faint blush remained on the apples of my cheeks. I took one last look at myself.

I was beautiful, not the kind of beauty that you get from hours of makeovers but naturally beautiful.

I felt my self esteem soar a little.

This girl I had become was finally the kind of girl that people would notice.

It was a self obsessed thought but I indulged in the new confidence.

This girl would not be a shadow in her own life anymore.

I was excited to start living.

"If it's ok Holly I was wondering if you'd like to talk, I'm sure you have some questions" I looked at Carlisle and nodded, I was still a little dazed at the sight of the new me.

I watched as everyone filed out the room the Cullens at their usual speed whilst mum and dad walked hand in hand at a quick walk.

I looked at Ash with a grin on my face.

"You wanna try something Ash?" She hadn't experienced vamp speed and I really wanted to give it a shot. May as well kill 2 birds with one stone.

She squealed and climbed on my back, knowing what I meant. She was weightless.

I whizzed down the stairs, it felt effortless. My breathing didn't even alter.

Ash looked a little dazed at the bottom but soon recovered.

"WOW! That was A-MAH-ZING! We're totally doing that again later" I giggled at her excitement. I was buzzed too, the speed was fun.

Adrenaline junkie as always.

Seems like some things never change, even if you do.

**Author's note: So Holly's survived the change.**

**Thanks for reading :D**

**Xxxx**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: Ok the only reason you're getting this chapter mega early is because I had it written and I just couldn't let it sit there. It's the longest chapter I've written. Ever. Hope you like it. (also shameless bit of self promotion, I've started another story 'The Story Of Sarelle'. It's just an idea that popped into my head so check it out and tell me what you think so far. :D)**

Carlisle took a little longer than he wanted trying to get everyone's attention. They all wanted to welcome me to their world and congratulate my family. Apparently it had been a hard time for all of them. Edward was the only one to remain quiet, I couldn't understand why. I tried to catch his eyes but he avoided mine carefully. Did I repulse him in my new form now the initial thrill of me waking up was over?

Finally there was quiet.

"ok Holly fire away, I'll try to give you some answers but I must say nothing like this as ever happened as far as I could find so I apologise if my explanations are vague" Carlisle seemed troubled that he wasn't as knowledgeable as hoped but I thought the scientist in me might be able to come up with something.

"how long?" I hoped he knew what I meant.

"6 days, almost exactly. But you only seemed to 'change' during the last 3. It seemed the first 3 you just healed and recuperated. Maybe built some kind of temporary defence against the venom?" I shuddered at the memories of the burning. I saw my family grimace, I had hoped they wouldn't have had to endure it with me.

As for the defence, it seemed possible. I could remember the time of being completely at peace, almost numb whilst I healed in Edward's arms.

"during the 'change' I felt something else present, like an oily balm. It soothed me, perhaps that was the defence my body built. I could feel it slowing the venom. Like it fought against it"

"that's a good explanation for it, I don't know why your body reacted that way though. I thought maybe it had something to do with you not being of this world. That perhaps the thing that makes our thirst immune to your scent is also the thing that fought against the venom. It would make sense. Since our thirst produces excess venom so whatever this substance within you, and other humans from your world, must act as a venom deterrent of some kind."

I stored this information in my endless memory.

Next question.

"what am I?" seemed simple enough.

"something unusual. Half vampire half human. I was hoping to take some blood to get a better idea. Perhaps something we could do later?"

"certainly, so I'm a hybrid, is that why my eyes are purple-y? I'm guessing my regular blue mixing with the usual newborn red would cause this" I pointed to the liquid violet in my iris.

"I believe so, I expect it will fade back to blue once the venomous blood burns off. I think unlike our eyes that when we first change reflect the blood that remains in our veins, yours only reflect what you have eaten or what's in your stomach. Whilst you were changing you swallowed a lot of your own blood by accident, but if you obviously don't feed off humans the purple will fade. Then again your eyes may never be true blue because animal blood will cause the blue to mix with gold. So perhaps an aqua colour?"

A thought sprung to me from breaking dawn.

"can I eat food, like normal food" The Cullens seemed surprised, I guess they just assumed I would just survive like the rest of them. The idea of drinking blood didn't disgust me but I didn't feel a need for it. No thirst monster hiding in the dark corners of my mind.

"of course if you want, are you hungry now?" Esme had jumped up eager to help.

"oh no Esme I'm fine, I'll experiment later. Thank you though" She smiled and sat down.

"are you thirsty?" Carlisle's question and I was surprised he hadn't asked earlier. Not that my family smelled like food but Bella had woken with a raging thirst in her throat.

"no, no burn, no venom. Nothing" I beamed, that was bound to make life easier. Then again I was yet to meet humans on this side of the portal. I'll worry about that later. Things had started to add up on my list of things to do later.

" so I'm curious now that I'm physically part of this world has it effected the way your abilities work? Alice? Edward?"

I watched Alice's eyes light up.

"I can see you now, not completely but you're not invisible, kind of transparent"

We turned to Edward, he had been so quiet. I missed his voice.

"I hear nothing from you" this fact seemed to hurt him.

I went over to where he was sitting and placed my hand on his. In my mind I could feel his presence circling round the outside but unable to really get in. It felt strange to have this awareness of my own brain. Like it was a separate bubble in my body. Did they all feel this way?

His eyes met mine confusion tightening them. Had he heard my thoughts? My strange ramblings?

"still nothing, usually skin contact changes that"

_What about now?_

I felt a small gap appear in my bubble and almost felt the thought float from my brain into his.

"That worked" His eyes were happy but troubled. I needed to talk to him at some point. The letter I sent him flashed in my mind briefly as if my mind thought of it on it's own accord for I had no intention of worrying about that yet.

"it works when I think to Edward rather than just undirected thoughts. It's like I could feel my mind separated from the rest of my body and I opened it to send the thought to Edward." I smiled at Carlisle and left Edwards side to sit back with my parents. I liked the discovery of these new things.

" that may be another difference between our 2 worlds"

"I can hear other humans from her world, along with her parents and Ashleigh. They're not always clear, sometimes muffled or with static but I can hear them." Edward cut in before going back to his still silence.

"Perhaps something to mention to Eleazar when we next hear from them" The mention of Eleazar peaked my interest. Was it possible I had a gift? I cleared my head of that chain of thought, gifts meant trouble. Volturi trouble. I took a glance at my human family. I wouldn't risk them. Never.

"erm that's kind of everything really except I wanted to know what will happen now?" This wasn't directed solely at Carlisle.

"well honey you were declared dead in our world, everyone knows about it. We've arranged a funeral to be held in a few days time. Ash sent of a message on facebook for friends. Family is coming. Then the wake will be held at home. Carlisle said you're welcome to stay with them for the first few months then move back home. We'd probably move, start a fresh. Get you a new identity that kind of thing. If you wanted to stay with us. Or you could stay here, and we'll visit." Mum spoke in a soft voice, it hurt more than I thought losing all my friends, my life back home. I studied my family, I wanted to stay with them. I would feel awful leaving after everything they'd been through but part of me knew I couldn't really live in my old world. People would notice that I never aged. I would force my family to move every few years. It would disrupt all their lives. They could never settle. That wouldn't be the case if I stayed with the Cullens. I could still use the portal to see my family. Still be a part of their lives.

"let's just see how it goes" I hugged my parents just loving the chance to be with them.

I ached for my friends. My girls. I didn't want to be the tragedy that marred their teenage lives.

But I couldn't risk the exposure.

Plus what would they think. I had lied to them for so long.

When Sara asked if I was keeping from her, I had said no.

When they asked about my new friends I came up with a whole fake story to keep them from the secret.

When they asked if I like Edward, I had lied and said I thought of him only as a friend.

Lies layered over lies.

Yep I was a great friend. (Sense the sarcasm)

Plus how would they react when they saw me, I had changed. Would I scare them?

I was supposed to be dead for Christ sake, would they think it all just some sick joke?

My family had fully accepted me because they knew everything. They would have still loved me if I grew tentacles, turned green, and spewed goo as a sign of affection (although Ashleigh I'm sure would have reservations). All because it would mean I was still with them.

My friends could be a completely different matter. How much would it hurt to watch them turn away in shock, horror, disgust? Would it hurt more living without ever having tried?

I think that was the real thing to think through.

But I had 3 days to decide that, until then I guess I should just get used to this new lease of life I had.

* * * * *

Murmurs surrounded me.

"she can sleep." A shocked voice stirred me, maybe Carlisle?

"I wish I could sleep, just once. I can't remember what it's like" Alice's voice sounded far too sad for someone so happy.

So I could sleep, definitely a good thing. Sleep had been one of my favourite past times as a human. Nice to know I didn't have to give it up. I'm amazed I hadn't passed out earlier, I had been awake for nearly a whole 24 hours since I first woke up from my change.

My first day as a hybrid hadn't been all that eventful since the chat with Carlisle and everyone. He had left me to settle into my new room which sat at the end of the hall opposite Edwards and one of the many bathrooms.

My parents, with a lot of help from Alice and Esme, had moved some of my belongings from my old room into this one. It was strange that although the walls were a shade of cream rather than deep purple, it felt like home. My things seemed to fit perfectly. Photos from my past life now dotted across my window sill and desk. Whilst artwork I had either created or bought hung on the walls. I was surrounded by memories and they didn't hurt to look at.

I could still recall my human life perfectly, another thing that had stunned the family. In the quiet few hours I was left with my family in my old house I soaked up and revelled in the memories the house held for me. They weren't in the high definition of my new memories but they were still clear. No veil hid them from me.

Casserole dishes had been piled up in the kitchen sink from people who thought grief meant my parents could no longer cook.

Condolence cards were piled on the hallway bench with various messages written in them. I liked that if I really had died my family would have been surrounded by people who cared about them.

Then Ash had shown me the messages that proved that there were a lot of people that had cared about me.

I couldn't believe what happened. Holly was always full of life, and I can't believe someone did this to her. We'll all miss her now she's gone. I'll be at the funeral to say a final goodbye.

Rachel

R.I.P Holly, you'll be missed. X Kieran

You'll never be forgotten, I wish I'd had a chance to tell you how much I valued you in my life.

Will

Life won't be the same without you, holls. Hope you're happy wherever you are. Layla

Messages had filled the board, some just offering comfort to my family, some recounting memories I'd shared with them, other's just saying they'll miss me.

No matter what they said, each one built the tears that were in my eyes. I had always thought I was unnoticed in most people's lives. Just someone who stood on the side lines but to see that this wasn't the case, that I had meant something to them. It was overwhelming and made leaving this life behind just that little bit harder.

When I had finally returned back to the Cullen world it was nearing midnight. I had left my family to get some sleep. It had been a long week for them and it was starting to show on their faces. How would Ashleigh live if she had to go into school with dark rings around her eyes. Though I'm sure the news of my death would have spread. I hoped she could play her role of grieving sister well.

Esme had prepared a small meal for me to test out human food. It was just a cheese sandwich but it was the first thing I had eaten in nearly 12 hours so it didn't take long for me to wolf it down. The Cullen's all stood watching with disgusted looks as I forced huge mouthfuls of cheesy goodness down.

Human food still tasted pretty good, Esme's human food was even better. I couldn't understand how she managed it but she was an awesome cook. I hadn't been hungry when I ate but when the food was in front of me I soon felt starving. I figured I could live quite easily just eating once or twice a day rather than the near constant grazing of my past life.

The Cullen's left me to my own entertainment the majority of the night, drawing the view from my window which even though near pitch black was still visible, the moonlight lighting the tree tops. That's when I had fallen asleep, staring at the stars.

The end of my first day in this new life.

* * * * *

I came back to the present.

I opened my eyes and saw Alice and Carlisle standing over by the window, she must have known I would wake up soon.

"Hi Holly!" she came and bounced on my bed, throwing my body up off the mattress a little. For a pixie she was certainly heavy. Probably has something to do with her being made out of something close to solid rock.

"Hey Alice, Carlisle. How long did I sleep?" I didn't feel the usual groggy tiredness and swung my legs out of bed so I sat facing the wonderful view of tree tops through the window.

"Just a few hours, it's 10 in the morning." Carlisle sat next to me. Just a few hours sleep and I felt fully refreshed, as if I had slept for days.

"Do you want to get that blood test sorted today? I kind of want to get a better idea of this whole thing." I was nervous to know what was in my blood but it would be nice to have all the details.

"Well I could go get my bag and do it now if you wanted. I'm expected at the hospital by lunchtime, so I could look at it then" Carlisle brightened. He loved discovering new things just like me.

"I'll wait here then" I sat patiently on the bed. Although no patience was needed Carlisle was before my in less than a second. Needle in hand.

"Are you sure that will work?" I didn't think metal could easily pierce stone.

"I thought it was worth a shot, the other option isn't one I care to carry out"

I held out my arm wrist up, he brought the needle to the crevice of my elbow. I felt it scratch lightly against the surface of my skin but no penetrating pain followed. It wasn't going to work. My skin caused the needle to just bend at the tip.

Carlisle looked up at me, he seemed bothered by option 2.

I knew of only one thing could pierce my skin and that would be vampire teeth.

"You have to bite me don't you" At least a needle was just one prick. Carlisle's teeth would probably hurt a little more.

"Actually I would prefer not to do that, I don't know how the venom would affect you since you are still half human. The only way I can think to do it is to give you a scratch. Hopefully it shouldn't be as painful." I didn't think it was possible for nails to pierce the skin.

It wouldn't be as painful at being bitten but it sure would hurt more than a needle. I nodded anyway, there was no way around it.

I barely felt the cool tear through my skin. It was just a sting as Carlisle gathered the few drops of blood that fell before the cut healed shut. All this was within a few seconds. No mark was left where the cut had been just creamy flawless skin.

All the while Alice had been rummaging through my closet trying to pick out an outfit whilst muttering about how jeans might be too restricting but a dress wasn't ideal for climbing. God knows what she had in mind.

She finally chose a pair of blue skinny jeans made from a denim with elastic weaved into it, and a plain purple t shirt. Very unusual for Alice. She topped it all off with a pair of white tennis shoes.

"Come on get showered get dressed we're going for your first hunt" She beamed and rushed out the room calling for the rest of the family.

I was dressed and downstairs in ten minutes. They stood scattered around the living room. It seemed I would be accompanied by Alice Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett. Carlisle was going to work, Esme was busy with her design project and Edward. Well Edward didn't give a reason just skulked off to his piano room. We still hadn't had a proper conversation and I could feel the awkward tension build.

I thought he would have eased up on the emo once he saw I was alright and happy with my change. But he didn't, and so we slipped into an uncomfortable silence between us.

Obviously he didn't like the idea of having me around for eternity. Either because he read the letter and thought I was some love sick teenager like all the other girls he met, or he felt like me being more like him meant I had lost my interesting qualities. That now I wasn't exactly human he didn't feel a fascination with me so there was no point in continuing to make an effort with me. Both of these hurt but I tried to look on the bright side. I was alive and the rest of the Cullen's still liked me. But I couldn't lie to myself, it sucked that he didn't.

We walked out to the forest line. I could see so much deeper into the forest than before. My muscles itched at what was going to come, running, power, adventure.

"Ok so me and Jazz are going to stick with Holly whilst you guys just stay near by. I don't see any problems but just to make sure." I looked eagerly to Alice as she explained the plan. I felt like a dog waiting to be let off the leash.

"whoever gets the biggest kill wins" Emmett bellowed as he and Rosalie took off.

I sprinted after them thrilled there would be competition. The thirst wasn't present but I could feel something changing in my throat like a tickling itch that wasn't painful but could definitely be annoying. It was never present before and I wonder if the knowledge of being on a hunt had triggered it.

I flew through the green web of trees, moss and grass. The power pulsing through my limbs as they moved in a blur of speed. I could hear Alice and Jasper on either side of me. It irritated me that they were holding back. They were capable of going faster than me. I didn't like losing. So I pushed harder and faster through the mess of twigs and branches. A fallen tree blocked my path and I bounded easily over it, flying for just a millisecond. But it was a fabulous millisecond.

As we continued to run through the forest I felt giddy, like my whole body was electrified. I giggled at the feel of the wind rushing through my hair. The branches and twigs that lashed against my skin felt feather soft. I waited for the burn in my muscles but it didn't come.

Sounds surrounded me rustling leaves, sounds of living animals unaware of our presence as we rushed past them.

"Holly" Alice appeared at my side, her stride graceful and dainty.

"enough running stop and let's see the predator in you" she sent me a gleaming smile and swerved off to join Jasper who had caught a scent and sprinted off to the west.

I followed her advice and stopped still in the middle of the thick jade haze around me.

I inhaled deeply, scents flooded my nose lighting up my brain. I could smell something that wasn't the woodsy wet smell of the forest. It smelt sweet but tangy. It called to me like chocolate had when I was human. It promised to get rid of the irritating itch that was swiftly building.

The promise that it would taste delicious. I wandered in the general direction, unlike the Cullen's I doubted I would be able to track the smell precisely.

My wandering walk broke out into a run as the scent got stronger. I was heading south and whatever it was wasn't far away. My legs carried me towards it as I held the scent in my mind. No venom filled my mouth but my tongue almost ached for the taste and the intensity of the itch built with the anticipation.

Just a few hundred metres.

I climbed up into the trees, leaping from each limb with finesse I had never had as a human.

I could see it now. The scent finally had a form. I smiled wryly when I saw it.

_Fat chance beating this Emmett_

There standing before me sniffing out an old rabbit hole was a huge grizzly.

How Emmett had missed this was beyond me. I positioned myself above the bear. I felt my stomach rumbling with impatience. My mind fought to stop me but one more whiff of the scent clouded my judgement and I leapt from the tree straight on to the back of the bear. It roared at being caught unaware. I clung to its back grabbing fistfuls of fur. Its large clawed paws swiped at me ripping slits in the side of my t shirt and jeans. Alice would not be happy.

The bear continued to roar and buck as I straddled its back like some deranged rodeo.

_Thank god Emmett isn't here; he'd probably stick a cowboy hat on me._

The bear took one more swipe and I hissed as it scratched my skin. It's not that it hurt but it irritated me that it hadn't just surrendered yet.

I growled as I sunk my teeth through the thick fur. I spat it out before attacking the bear's jugular again. As my teeth pierced the thin layer of skin I moaned as the sensation of the hot sweet liquid running down my throat. It felt ambrosial filling my stomach to the point that I thought I would explode with too much liquid. I tossed the drained bear to the side and sat against it staring up at the forest canopy. Green light filtered through the air. The itch was gone I couldn't even imagine that it had ever existed. I was completely satisfied.

"YEEHAW COW GIRL!" Emmett's booming laughter bounced around me as him and Rosalie appeared grins on their faces.

I spat out some more fur that had been sticking in my mouth.

"Maybe we should bring a lasso next time for you!"He was enjoying this far too much. I looked at Rosalie waiting for her to do something before I attacked her husband. She smirked and smacked him on the head.

"A little jealous are we Emmett? After all I got to play with the big bad bear and from the smell of you, you got something far less appetising. I think I win" Emmett grumbled but accepted defeat. This time.

"Oh Holly!!!! Those were good jeans. Now look at you! You look like you've shopped at sluts'r'us" Alice wailed as her and Jasper came into view.

I looked down at my outfit. Horizontal slits dotted the length of my jeans flashing the creamy skin below. My top was now splattered with blood and 2 large claw marks put my abs on show. Any higher and I would have looked positively indecent.

I blushed crossing my arms across my torso.

"Looks like we've got a messy eater." Jasper laughed. None of them showed any sign of having hunted. Well except for a rip on Emmets shirt, but I was pretty sure it didn't come from whatever herbivore he'd munched on. I pinned Rosalie as the real culprit.

"come on I can't leave you like that" Alice grabbed Jaspers hand and I could have sworn I heard him say something about Edward.

We took off together back home. They kept me from straying off their land as we raced back.

I burst through the door ecstatic from the thrill of the running, the blood from the hunt making my veins fizz.

"Oh my" Esme had taken in my now ruined outfit.

Edward peeped out of the piano room and I saw his eyes widen before he locked himself back in. I glared at the door, I was sick of this he couldn't ignore me forever, we lived in the same house!

"I had a little accident with a bear when I was hunting. It seems they don't like to be ridden" I flashed a grin to Emmett who was laughing as him and Rosalie made their way in.

"Anyway I'm going to go get myself changed, and showered. Again" I picked at my mussed up hair. A leaf fluttered to the ground.

I binned my ruined clothes and grabbed a towel from the closet. The bathroom was just round the corner so I skipped to it, shutting the door close behind me. I dropped the towel and sighed as the warm water fell warming my skin. The sensation soaked through to my muscles relaxing them from their strung up state.

I towelled off my new skin and hair, slipping into a pair of sweats and my old favourite band t shirt.

I hadn't realised our hunt had taken so long, it was mid afternoon. I'd gotten so lost in running that time had flown by. I padded downstairs into the living room. Jasper and Emmett were playing some war game on the ps2 while Rosalie flicked through her car and driver. Alice no doubt was rearranging her wardrobe.

The piano room was silent, no melody flowed from behind the door. Was Edward even in there? He'd probably just locked the door and jumped out the window. Pretending to compose when really he just hid away to avoid me.

I knocked on the door lightly.

"come in" His soft voice came through.

I bet he'll regret that when he sees it's me.

"um hi Edward." I stuttered on my words, he used to be one of my best friends and now I can barely talk to him.

"hello" he was stiff and I felt like an idiot standing in the middle of the room chewing nervously on my bottom lip. Why was this so awkward. I loved him and I thought I had figured out that he had loved me. Was I just delusional? I hadn't thought I was.

The song he wrote for me that I had mistaken for Bella's lullaby.

The smiles he gave me.

The emotion that poured off him when we had danced at the valentines dance.

That electricity that had flowed between us on New Years eve.

I couldn't have imagined all that.

But if I hadn't then why was he acting like this? I knew I should just ask him but to be honest I was sick of all the emotional turmoil. I nearly died a week ago, I couldn't be bothered with anymore big talks. Anymore big decisions or grand gestures.

So instead of declaring my undying love I stood and said

"so... I rode a bear"

He looked at me like I was deranged.

"and how did that work out for you?"

He'd talked! And it was more than a few words. It was a sentence.

"it was interesting but not good for those who are particularly fashion forward."

He chuckled and the tension eased a little.

"yes I would agree, I saw your outfit when you came in. I'm sure Alice was mortified"

"well I thought the ruffed up sexy slut in the woods look suited me" I laughed a little and moved to rest my elbows on the piano. Was I flirting?

Maybe a little.

Edward watched me from the piano bench looking at my final stance perched on the piano. I thought his eyes lingered on my chest just a moment too long but he quickly looked down at the keys. Though not playing a note.

"yes well, probably best to be careful in future. No point in just wasting clothes"

The tension was back in the room as soon as the words left his mouth and I straightened up. I didn't know what was up with him but I wasn't going to find out now.

"right well, I'll catch you later. Have fun" I ended the sentence on a slightly bitter note. I was mad. I couldn't help the anger flashing up in my voice.

I waited patiently for Carlisle to come home. I watched a bit of the history channel with Jasper. It was interesting listening to him give his experience of various war times. He even told me a bit about Maria and the vampire wars in the south. Showing me the various scars on his arms and explaining how he'd got them.

I enjoyed my time with Jasper, I didn't feel like I was taking advantage of him anymore. When I was human I felt bad that he had to cope with my heartbreak but now I'd come to terms with everything. I genuinely felt happy. Even when I was with Edward I was generally happy, just a little frustrated at his silence.

Jasper had never been in the forefront of the Twilight story, like the mysterious background character. But now I saw that although his thirst was an issue, it didn't make him an outcast. He had his own special place in the family and he filled it perfectly.

Although his vampire life was fascinating his human life still seemed relatively clear to him, unlike some of the others. As he described his past life I could almost see the memories play out in his mind. Smell the scents, hear the sounds, feel the emotions. Like I was submerged in his memory and living it alongside him.

He talked about meeting Alice and the feeling he got when he met her. Like fate.

"It felt so right to be near her, to hold her hand. Like it was missing from me all this time and I finally found it." He smiled, I rubbed my palm as I felt as if something should have been there.

"I wanted to give her everything. Anything to keep that smile on her beautiful pixie face" His eyes glowed with love and my heart swelled knowing Alice had everything she could ever want sitting in this man next to me.

Sadness swept over him briefly.

"What's wrong Jazz?"

"I can't give her the one thing that would make her complete. I know she doesn't mind all that much that she can't remember her change but I think it bothers her that she doesn't remember her human life. Her family. If she had any friends. Her ambitions. At least reading those Twilight books has told her something about her human life but it's not the same as having actual memories. " I knew what he meant. I would feel a little lost if I didn't know where I came from.

Before I knew it Carlisle had entered the door his doctors bag in hand. He nodded to me and went in search of Esme. I stayed in the living room with Jasper. Nerves had built in my stomach. I wanted to know what my blood had shown but what if it was bad news?

Carlisle came down with Esme and my nerves were in flux.

Jasper put a calming hand on my shoulder. The other family members joined us. Edward finally stepping out of the piano room.

"Ok so I have Holly's blood results, and they're very interesting"

I was practically chewing my lip off.

"so doc is the news good or bad?" Emmett had spoken for me, I was too busy chewing.

"neither, I don't think. When I looked at them it seemed your blood and my venom coexist but they don't mix really. They're still separate like oil and water. They meld better together when you shake your blood up but then they settle back to their usual states. The divide is pretty even, so I think that explains your physiology. I can also confirm that you are immortal, the cells don't age or show any sign of damage from antioxidants." He smiled at me and my nerves disappeared. However I also knew that immortality meant I would at sometime have to say goodbye to my family. Watch my sister have children and die and then watch the whole process all over again.

"cool so I've got a lava lamp for a lil sis" Emmett grinned. We all laughed at his analogy.

"Now I wanted to check what you want to do about the funeral" Carlisle's body language changed he seemed excited.

"I don't know what you mean, I thought I was just staying here, waiting it out" I hadn't heard anything else to say otherwise.

"Well Holls we've all been thinking and talking to your parents." I smiled at Esme's use of my shorter name that Ash uses. However I was still confused.

"There is no risk of the Volturi in your world. And as long as they don't know about the portal there never will be a risk. Now this taken into consideration we thought that if you trusted them explicitly to keep our real existence a secret. You could still see your friends. The rest of your family."

I just sat there open mouthed at what Carlisle had said. The whole family sat beaming at me even Edward had a slightly nervous smile on his face. They'd given me so much already and I'd given nothing back.

The idea of being able to have it all, being able to see my friends again. If not for the rest of their lives then at least for a few more years. It was like Christmas had come early.

"are you sure about this? How would we even tell them I mean they'd have to come through the portal and they all think I'm dead. What if they hate me?"

"What kind of friends are they if they hate you because you're alive instead of 6 ft under?"

Rosalie had a point.

"we've already thought through the portal thing. Your family will gather those who you want to tell at the end of the wake. Then they'll take them through the portal. We'll all be waiting here and you can explain everything. We can make it a little back from the dead party" Alice bounced excitedly at the idea of organising a party no matter how weird the occasion.

"do you realise what you're getting yourself into?" I couldn't think that they really knew the complications of meeting my friends.

"what's a few more humans, you and Ash were all sorts of fun" Emmett of course was just thinking of new human play toys.

"they love twilight. More than me. Meeting you guys will be their fan girl dream. I can't say that they will be as calm as I was" I heard Edward chuckled and the image of me in my Onesie flashed through my mind. I blushed and sent him a scowl. As if I needed reminding of that. I still shuddered when I think of it.

"I'm sure we'll cope. Now let's talk themes. I'm thinking black, or do you think that's a little cliché?" The family chuckled and I zoned out as Alice planned my coming out party (don't think I'll call it that again) I briefly heard her mention me walking out from behind a black veil. I rolled my eyes at that thought.

Could I do this? Mix my 2 worlds completely? Or would it be like the venom and my blood to very separate things that never would mix.

My friends had already met Edward and loved him so I had no worries of them getting on with the Cullen's. But I think the Cullen's underestimated just how much my friends loved them.

Deep down I knew I could trust my friends to keep the secret, they were loyal. As for my extended family, it would easier on my family to have them know but we were never close. I barely knew some of my cousins.

No there was no way I could tell them and rest easy.

I smiled, in just 12 hours time I could have my girls with me. Memories rattled through my mind of all our times together.

No material object I could give the Cullen's would equal what they have offered me but I would spend eternity trying to find a way to repay them.

**Author's note: So I hoped some of what Holly is has been cleared up. Up next, there's a reason why there's the word fun in funeral.**

**Review are love.**

**xxxx**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: Thanks everyone for the reviews so far, it's been great hearing you like little messed up Holly. I know she's not a 'proper' vampire but I figured where's the fun in making her normal when she can be full of suprises instead. **

**Anyway on with the next chapter...**

I stood wearing the black velvet strapless prom dress Alice had bought for me. My lips were painted a deep red to set off my ivory skin. In my mind I was a classic femme fatale.

_Screw Edward_

I slipped my feet into the matching black velvet platform heels.

"Come on Holly! They'll be here soon, Ashleigh sent a note through" Rosalie had been a real driving force in planning this. Alice was the ideas but Rosalie added the heart to it. She seemed to want me to have this more than anyone. To have a life beyond death.

It was hilarious watching the boys scurry round with sparkles and drapes whilst Rosalie hissed instructions. Emmett seemed genuinely terrified of what she would do to him when he dropped one of the vases that held the pink lilies.

Alice hadn't stuck with her all black idea, thank God. Instead the living room was lit with a few soft white lights whilst white voil drapes and fairy lights hung around the portal. It looked like something out of a dream sequence. Then again for most of my friends this would be exactly like their dream, of course minus me, the dead girl, coming back to surprise them.

No matter how prepared everyone was it didn't stop me from panicking.

"oh god! What if something happens? What if they run away screaming? What if..." I was nearly hyperventilating with nerves.

"stop it!" Rosalie gave me a small slap on the cheek, stunning my hyperventilating to a stop. It hurt just enough on my skin but on a pure human it probably would have taken their head clean off.

"We've all thought this through. Carlisle wouldn't do something he hadn't thought about completely. It will be fine. They'll love you, just like we do." She smiled softly at me and I nodded, taking her hand and walking slowly down the wooden stairs. Listening to them echo with every step. I wasn't walking to my death, more like to my life but it still felt scary.

We reached our destination, the living room sofas. I was supposed to wait in the Piano room till the first shock is over but I needed somewhere to sit whilst my legs stopepd shaking. I wanted to see my girls more than anything but that didn't stop the crippling fear of rejection from locking up my limbs and making my blood seem to run cold. If I could sweat I'm pretty sure nice cold beads of salty water would be oozing out of my skin right now. I sat fidgeting whilst the Cullens organised themselves.

"Edward go wait with Holly, she's a little nervous. Probably best she isn't left in there by herself. Might bolt on us" Jasper winked at me and sent me a wave of calm, not that it lasted very long against the nerves that controlled me. Edward nodded tightly. He most likely wasn't too keen being left in a room alone with me.

_Probably thinks you'll jump him_

"Come on! come on! You can't just be standing around like a gorm when they come through" Alice was pushing me towards the Piano room as Edward followed slowly behind. She was tiny but could give one hell of a shove.

I wasn't the only one dressed up. Alice, Esme and Rosalie also had black dresses on. Rosalies was velvett like mine however hers was long, strapless and cut to trace her body with a thigh high slit up the side. She looked beyond words and if my friends weren't 100% straight I was pretty sure she could turn them.

Alice was in a short swingy satin dress that accentuated her pixie frame and danced with her every excitable movement. The square cut neckline showed off her delicate bone structure perfectly.

Esme's was also black satin but hers was off the shoulder and fitted into a pencil making her appear sexy but sophisticated. The perfect combination for a woman who personified the word mother.

The men were all in simple black trousers and button downs. Edward's being white, Jasper's was a black silk, Carlisle's was a subtle pale slate grey and Emmett's a vibrant red. I should have known he would be wearing the brightest shirt possible to stand out amongst the more neutral tones of the rest of us.

My friends were going to faint with just one glimpse of them.

I was bias but Edward was breathtaking. His hair seemed so vibrant set against his black pants and crisp white shirt.

The door shut behind Alice and I glanced at Edward giving him a small smile.

It was awkward.

And silent.

2 things I hated.

"I'm sorry about this" I murmured. Would I ever get used to this awkward silence between me and him? A few seconds passed in what seemed like an eternity.

Screams came from the living room, so The Cullen's had now met my friends. I heard Carlisle explaining everything trying to calm them, there was some slight fainting panic my guess was on Shevron she was such an excitable person it often sent her a little loopy. I focussed back on Edward as he sighed and responded to my comment, finally. Though I forgave him, he was probably focussing on the commotion in the other room. It was hard not to with all the loud voices.

"Don't be, I'm quite curious to see your friends again. Especially Rianna. She seemed fun" He smirked at the memory.

An image of Rianna seductively stalking in a black slinky dress filled my mind bringing with it a definite feeling of curiosity. Why was he sending this image into my mind? Was it really necessary to taunt me? Especially tonight!

Of course I should have known he'd be interested in Rianna. She was still human, still held that interest for him.

Jealous flared within me erasing all nerves in my system. Edward's eyes flashed with something as he continued to smirk at me.

How dare he, he found this amusing?!

I heard my name being called and ripped open the door, storming into the room. Sending one final dirty look toward Edward as he casually sauntered out the room behind me, a smile on his face. I watched his eyes flick to Rianna and back to me as his eyebrow raised. I repressed the growl in my chest.

Only a split second had passed since I had appeared in the living room. I was supposed to have monitored my movements to keep them at a human pace but my anger wiped any thought of being slow.

I heard the communal gasp and turned to face my past, my expression softened from the glare instantly.

"what the FUCK!" Jemma was gaping at me along with pretty much the rest of them. Only mum, dad and Ash stood with normal expressions on their faces. Although I had to say Ashleigh looked a little smug, she had claimed responsibility for telling Carlisle to change me. She was very happy with herself nowadays mainly because she saw herself as my saviour.

"language Jemma" I laughed and winked at them. That was all that was needed to shatter the shocked expressions. Next thing I knew I was surrounded by my girls sobbing their eyes out.

"Hey hey, there's nothing to cry about. Plus I'd hate you to get panda eyes. I know Alice has a strong aversion to them" I heard the sniffles start to ease. Shevron was the first to pull away. Her watery eyes widened a little as she finally took me in properly.

"woah girl you got hot!" The rest of them stepped back to see what Shevron saw. I chuckled as they took in my now better looks. Even Rianna showed a sign of approval.

"not that you weren't before but you know..." Shevron stumbled over her words.

"Ha yeah it's amazing what a near death experience can do to you" I smiled and they laughed at my pathetic joke. "I wouldn't recommend it as beauty treatment though."

"way to keep a secret Holls, a little warning would have been good I nearly fainted when I saw Jasper!" Beth admitted openly and I heard Jasper chuckle. So I had got it wrong, it wasn't Shevron.

"It's true, she went all fuzzy for a second" He said and gave a dazzling smile in Beth's direction, her face went all goofy looking.

"See there she goes again" We all laughed as Beth tried to recover herself. Jasper was always her favourite. According to Beth there was something about a man who knows how to fight but still able to understand how you're feeling. I could see where she came from but Jasper would always be nothing more than a close friend to me.

"Really though, I'm so sorry I couldn't tell you but it was too complicated to explain without looking like a mad person. Then this happened." I flapped my hands around nervously, I was waiting for the screams of horror or the disgusted face that I had told such lies.

"I still can't believe you're here. When we found out what happened.."Sara's voice cut off as fresh tears welled up in her eyes. I gave her a hug and wiped away the tear that fell down her cheek.

"I'm fine. You shouldn't be crying. You know what I'm like with crying people. They make me nervous. I make stupid lame jokes and then it's just awkward and then that makes it even worse and..."

"Holly you're babbling, like usual" Shevron grinned whilst Sara sniffled but pulled herself together.

"I'll never forgive myself for not telling anyone about what Jack did to you that night in town. If I'd said something he couldn't have caused this!" Rianna blurted out as she twisted her hands, she was nervous because she thought I'd blame her. I, however, was now worrying about the 7 angry vampires around me, who were boring holes in my skull. Even Carlisle looked a little livid. It was shocking to see, possibly een more so that the anger on Esme's, usually loving, face.

"What?" Edward hissed from behind me. Alice had been meaning to ask how I got into the state I had, but I had been avoiding the real details.

"Ermmmm..." I stalled, I hadn't wanted them to find out. Ever. I heard Emmett's growl rumble in his chest and flicked my eyes to see him tense his muscles. You could see them clearly as they literally rolled under his shirt.

"JACK!DID THIS!?" Edward was furious, Rosalie wasn't far behind. And poor Jasper was hanging onto Alice for dear life to stop himself from tearing the house apart.

"He's been stalking Holly for months. Threats and stuff." I tried to stop her but Shevron blurted out everything and that was only what she knew. I hadn't told most of them the bad stuff. The fact he kept me locked in my house out of fear, the way he grabbed me and fractured my wrist.

"Holly, why didn't you tell us?" Rosalie may have been mad but her voice was confused and upset that I hadn't said anything.

"I was fine, I could handle it. It wasn't your problem to deal with." It was true, even if it was stupid.

"Honey, that boy scared you and you never mentioned anything to anyone? Not even when he broke your wrist?" Mum had tipped the scale against me. I was hoping the whole Jack thing would blow over and we'd get back to celebrating the fact I was alive. Now it seemed that was highly unlikely.

Edward snarled menacingly and bolted for the portal.

"NOOO!" I dodged in front of him. He was faster than me but I was closer to the portal. I stood my arms spread stopping him from passing through.

He'd kill Jack and I wouldn't have him have another person's life on his conscience even if they deserved it. Jack was being punished by the law and I wouldn't let Edward risk everything just because he was mad someone touched his toy.

After all it's not like he's doing it because he really cares for me. He doesn't like the idea of someone hurting an innocent person. He just wants to flex his inner vigilante. But I'm not some innocent weak victim, not anymore. If I truly wanted Jack to die I could do it myself. However I didn't want him dead, I wanted him to spend the rest of his life with the guilt my death had over him. To know that he ruined his whole life all because a girl rejected his affections. That was far more torture than death itself.

"I don't want you to do this. I won't let you!" His family were behind him now. Emmett held his arm but I could see it was only half hearted. They wanted revenge.

"He deserves it Holly. You know that. Look at what he did to you!" His words stung, that he said my change was something horrific and monstrous.

"I'm happy like this! Whether you like it or not. So stop trying to be the vigilante and step the hell back!" My face was inches away from his as we stood glaring at each other fists clenched. I hissed to prove my point, I knew the violet in my eyes would be more vivid because I could almost feel the heat of my anger making my eyes glow.

Edward growled in frustration and ran through the front door. I watched the door slam, stunned he'd just left me. This day that was so important to me and he just left me. In that moment it didn't matter that the whole family was there. Even if he didn't love me, he was still my best friend. I felt like I needed him with me even if his behaviour recently irritated me to no end.

"Come on Holly, we've got guests and I'm sure you'd rather talk with them than follow him to ease his little temper tantrum" Alice was right and I turned back to the living room where my friends were sitting a little stunned.

"We'll leave you to catch up for a bit, come on Ash I've just got next seasons fashion prediction through." Alice dashed upstairs with Ashleigh whilst the rest of the Cullens led my parents into the dining room to talk.

"sorry bout that, as you can probably tell. I hadn't told them." I smiled sheepishly.

"wow that was so Edward-esque. Is he always that tempered?" Jemma was obviously thrilled he was sticking to character. The broody, hot-headed tortured soul that every girl wants to fix and comfort.

"Well no not quite like that. Anyway have I missed much in the week? How was my funeral?" I grinned at the last, it felt weird saying it.

"Not much has changed to be honest. Everyone was pretty shaken up by the whole Jack thing. The funeral was pretty packed, there's a lot of people that are gonna miss you Holls." Sara summed everything up nicely.

"Will was there. He looked like someone had killed his puppy. He obviously wasn't over you." Rianna's comment made me flinch. It was people like Will that although I couldn't say goodbye to them I felt like I should have. He was always so sweet to me, perhaps if he had made a move things might have been different.

Who was I kidding. If Edward had still walked into my room, although it would take a little longer with Will in the picture, I still would have fallen for him. It would have just been a matter of time because in reality you don't have much choice over who you fall in love with just when you let yourself surrender to it.

"How is life here, Holly? Living with the Cullens. Being a hybrid. You're like another messed version of Renesmee" I should have known Beth would want to know all the ins and outs of it. She was the biggest fan girl out of all of us. Me and Jemma were equal on a love of it but not fully consumed by the whole thing. Beth on the other hand was a real fanatic.

"It's great, they're amazing people. They've made the change and everything so easy. Like a smooth transition. As for being a hybrid, it's not that much different to being human. I still eat human food, still sleep all that stuff. I just look a little different, feel different, maybe act different. My skin isn't stone like theirs but like Renesemee's a mix of the 2. I'm stronger and faster and the senses are awesome. If I'm honest, I love it."

"can I ride you!!!??" Shevron bounced on the sofa her eyes sparkling. Jemma and I smirked at the dirty thought that obviously passed through both our heads.

"Shev she's not some play ground ride" Rianna smirked.

God, her and Edward would get on well.

_Dammit!_

I slipped off my heels.

"Come on Shev, but you dare say mush and I'll send you flying into the nearest tree." Shevron flew at me and climbed on my back.

"This is just weird you know. I'm sure you'd prefer it if it was Edward, he's faster." I readjusted her till I was sure she wouldn't slip off. I walked to the window and slid it open. To Shevron it would be getting dark outside but to me it was still perfectly clear. I could see every detail of the Cullen's large field like garden.

"you ready? I'll go once round the field and then back here." I felt Shevron nod and I was off and even into the forest beyond.

I'd never get sick of running, but I'd admit that running in the forest was far more fun than this flat even terrain. The grass was like quilted satin beneath my feet.

"holy hell! Wooooohoooooo." Shevrons squeals echoed around the field. I rocketed back to the house. We had only been gone a matter of a few seconds. The other's jumped when I suddenly appeared back at the window I'd left from.

I placed and unsteady Shevron on her feet and chuckled as she stumbled to the sofa.

I sat and curled myself up looking at my girls around me. How had I been so lucky?

* * * * *

"So did anything happen with you and Edward? Now your immortal buddies surely you need some way to fill all that time" Rianna winked at what she had insinuated.

I blushed and I was doomed.

Catcalls surrounded me, Rosalie and Alice included. Esme had went along with Jasper, Emmet and Carlisle into my old world. Dad had offered to play poker with the men whilst Mum just wanted someone to talk to who wasn't trying to console her. Edward still wasn't home and it had been 2 hours. Now it was just us girls sitting in the living room spilling all.

"I never knew something happened with Edward? When did this happen?" Rosalie was curious but Alice, although silent was bursting to know the details.

"you can all relax, because nothing has happened" I looked at the floor, it was embarrassing to admit that although I loved him I hadn't had the guts to do anything about it. That even in this new 'hotter' body he didn't want me.

"New Years tells a different story" Rianna raised her eyebrow, challenging me to say otherwise.

"what happened at New years?" Alice's voice was almost a squeal.

"they kissed!" Shevron burst out and I nearly died right there. If I could.

"What?!" This time Ashleigh joined Rose and Alice.

I had some serious back paddling to do.

"look we didn't kiss, it was an almost moment and he only did it to stop Jack from attacking me at midnight."

"That doesn't explain why he had you sat on his lap for the majority of the night" Beth chipped in.

"or why you 2 were all curled up on the sofa together, you sleeping in his arms" Sara added her bit of gossip and the girls sighed at the cute imagery.

"Plus you should have seen him when he arrived. He couldn't get enough, all soft touches and helping her put her necklace on" Ashleigh winked at me as she dug my grave even deeper.

"all this going on under our very eyes." Alice faked astonishment. As if she didn't know.

"look nothing happened and then Valentines dance happened and you know the consequences of that." I looked at Rosalie and Alice. I could feel the sadness in my eyes and their happy expressions straightened out.

" I don't understand what happened?" Sara looked concerned, she had obviously felt the changed in atmosphere. The playful banter gone and replaced with dark times. My friends looked at me with concern.

"I was an idiot and broke my own heart" Rose winced whilst my friends offered me hugs and saying what idiot wouldn't want me.

"you do realise things are different now." Alice looked deep into my eyes, willing me to understand, to still have hope.

"not by much, all that's changed is that now I'm immortal and I'm pretty sure he knows I love him but has chosen to ignore it and just hope I won't get to close to him. I mean what has happened to Bella? Has he even talked to her? Surely she's been trying to contact him."

"The gawping idiot hasn't even got his phone number, she's probably just sitting at school waiting for him to come back in like some lost puppy," Rosalie sneered.

None of the Cullens had been in school the week that I was changing. The excuse was that they were on holiday visiting family friends whilst Carlisle stayed to work. Apparently this would be continued next week so that I could settle in. They had been planning to have a newborn to contend with but since I wasn't quite the handful they expected the younger Cullens would return back to school along with me. Of course there would be questions and rumours about my presence and appearance but it was decided that I had liked Forks so much my parents had offered to let me transfer for my senior year and therefore I was finishing the junior year to make sure I was up to scratch. I returned to the conversation from my pondering.

"well you can't blame her. Who wouldn't love him, the boy's pure eye candy" Rianna smiled and I couldn't help but laugh. Rianna could forgive most things if a person was easy on the eyes. Then a smelt that intoxicating scent of sun and spice.

"I'm glad you think so Rianna, It's always a pleasure seeing you" Edward's velvet voice purred from behind us near the window. I spun round. His eyes flitted to mine and then he winked at Rianna. My blood boiled.

"how long have you been standing there? Don't you know it's rude to eavesdrop and just pure dangerous when it's a girls conversation." Rosalie sneered at Edward but he merely slid into the seat next to Rianna. Sending her a dazzling smile. Only Rianna didn't form a puddle of goo she held her own and matched Edward's smile with a sexy smirk of her own. Her eyes dancing over him. They were perfect opponents in the game of seduction. I envied Rianna in that moment, more than I ever had.

Jealous boiled in me again as Edwards arm lay on the top of the sofa behind Rianna. I saw Beth nudge Rianna and she glanced at me, shrinking away from Edward.

He knew exactly what he was doing, I just didn't know why. His eyes met mine for a second but I couldn't figure out the emotion, it was like begging. It cleared quickly into the blank mask he often wore around me recently.

"I'm sorry for earlier. I wasn't myself." I knew he was truly sorry it burned in his eyes but I still couldn't understand anything about him. None of his behaviour these past few days had made sense, at least when we were apart I could understand his avoidance of me, but I thought my letter would have fixed everything. I thought I had finally figured out Edward Cullen. Finally understood his feelings for me but now it was all snarled up into a mess of emotion. He was an enigma and I wondered how much longer I would try to decode him.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it." And to tell the truth I was sorry.

He'd given me no reason not to tell him when we were close. Afterwards I didn't tell him because I was trying to stay away from him and having him try to help me out would have been too painful. Since my change the sole reason I didn't tell him was because Jack was the reason I was what I was. I knew Edward would lose it, he had proven me right earlier in the night.

He nodded. Accepting my apology and left the room heading upstairs. The girls eyes followed him up the stairs with expressions of something close to puppy love. I cringed, was that what I looked like whenever he was around me? I hoped not. I liked to think I could still be Holly even if the love of my existence entered the room rather than transfrom into some gooey mess of girl.

It was 11 pm and about time my friends went home.

They seemed to realise this and we said begrudging goodbyes at the portal, I knew I'd see them again but not for a while. Their time would be taken up with university. Then again I'll be busy adjusting to life as a full time Cullen, high school included.

I was glad to have one more week to get to grips with my situation. I didn't enjoy being the centre of attention and so that meant I wouldn't enjoy the first day at my new permanent school. The difference in me was bound to make me subject to stares, add in the Cullens and it's a perfect gossip cocktail.

Now that I sat in the living room, Rose and Alice sitting by my side in silence. I felt it all come tumbling down on me. My old life was over. Really over. Although I hadn't lost much, if anything, there was still a part of me that mourned the fact that things had changed. That they weren't and never would be the same.

Simple things like being able to wander around my hometown or visit my cove, now became an issue to plan out before it could be executed. I had gained so much power but had to sacrifice some of my freedom to get it.

Even things that I had never thought about popped into my head for a brief second. Children, aging, a peaceful death. I would never experience any of those. It was true that they weren't particularly high on my priorities but the idea that they were an impossibility made them seem like something to miss.

I sighed.

Who would have thought so much could changed in 7 short months.

**Author's note: what do you think so far? You like it?**

**xxx**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author's note: Ok I had to change the rating to M, I'm not entirely sure it I needed to so you guys will have to let me know after reading this chapter if you think it needs to stay as M or if I can change it back to T. Thanks.**

**Let's get some sparks flying. ;)**

I sat in my small piece of privacy, although it would be fair to say privacy doesn't exist in a house full of Vampires. Still to me even though I could still hear clearly the happenings of the rest of the family in the house, as soon as I shut my door my room became my own little bubble.

Right now my bubble was occupied by me drawing the pretty pink lilies that had been left after my funeral party. The petals curled in on themselves and the leaves stretched out into the empty space that surrounded them. I liked their mellow floral scent. It wasn't too strong to distract me but filled my room nicely.

I had been up in my room for a long period of time, the sun had passed from the east to the point of mid day. I hadn't planned on spending as much time in my room but I had gotten lost in drawing the lilies and so just listened to the life of the others pass around me.

"Holly would you mind coming to the dining room there's something we'd like to discuss with you" Esme's soft voice called up the stairs and I stopped my sketch. I had never been into the dining room to discuss anything. I hoped this wasn't about the spaghetti mark on my cream bedroom carpet. I was starving but had forgotten how slippery pasta could be when it's coated in tomato sauce. I tried to clean it up but instead resorted to just covering it with the desk. Knowing my luck Esme probably lifted furniture when she vacuumed.

I had only been in this room for a week and I'd already put my own mark on it. Who needs photos and nik naks when you could merely splatter your ownership in spaghetti sauce. I bet no other Vampire had a food stain on their bedroom floor.

I entered the dining room to see the whole family sat at the table. Carlisle stood at the head of the table smiling with love in his eyes.

"Take a seat Holly" I sat at the other end of the table, feeling a little uncomfortable that I was situated at the other head of the table. I had no right to claim pride of place when I wasn't even a true part of their family. Just a guest really.

"Look if this is about the spaghetti I'm really sorry, it just slipped. I couldn't stop it, even vampire reactions couldn't save it," I blurted feeling the blush rise to my cheeks.

Carlisle looked puzzled. "No no this isn't about any spaghetti. We wouldn't have waited so long to do this but it has been such a busy time we wanted to let you really settle in." I sat patiently, cogs in my mind trying to work out what he was going on about.

"You know we consider you as part of the family, dear, and we've talked to your parents about this." Esme smiled down at me whilst Rosalie patted my hand excitedly.

"We would like to officially invite you to join the Cullen family." Carlisle's voice screamed pride as he said the word family instead of coven. In his hand he held out a small charm disc with the Cullen crest on it.

I gazed at the beautiful silver charm settled in the blue velvet of the box.

The 7 pairs of topaz eyes watched me intently.

"I would love to; I love you all so much. Thank you, this means a lot to me" They cheered as Carlisle attached the charm to my Holly bracelet. I could distinctly hear Emmetts booming voice over all of them. He had even gotten up to do my victory dance. I giggled but I could feel the red hot tears building in my eyes.

"Aww honey, there's no need to cry I know you must miss your parents." Esme's motherly arms wrapped around me.

"No, no it isn't that at all. I mean of course I miss them but I'm happy to be here with you all. To be a part of this family." I dried my tears, embarrassed at my sudden burst of emotion. I didn't do big emotional outbursts but it felt like these tears had been building ever since my change for all different reasons.

"Then what's up?" Emmett really was a big teddy bear, shed a few tears and he goes all mushy.

"You've just given me so much, and I've given you nothing, I can't even afford to buy my own things"

"You've given us more than you think Holls, as for buying your own things. You're part of this family that means money is no issue" Jasper sent me a flutter of calm as Carlisle spoke. I put aside my worries. These wonderful people in front of me loved me and I was ecstatic that I got to spend eternity with them, I belonged here.

"So lil sis, you taking our name?" Emmett grinned; me taking their name would make it official. Even though I wouldn't really use it in public until we moved. Even then I wasn't sure what the dynamic would be.

"Say hello to Holly Jules Cullen" My smile almost split my face. I ran round the group grabbing hugs from everyone. Edward held back but when I reached him he held me close to him. Perhaps there was hope for us yet.

* * * * *

I had officially been a member of the Cullen family for 4 days now, a hybrid for 11 and dead to my world for 17. I didn't focus too much on thes numbers but I liked to remember them.

It was a Saturday so I was making the most of my final days of freedom before the dreaded first day at school.

I ran through the forest floor bare foot, it was my favourite way to run even if Alice couldn't understand it. It was as if it was nothing more than a flat expanse of open space instead of a rocky, muddy mess of cramped trees.

The twigs and bracken that would have cut my feet now just tickled against the bare skin of my foot.

The wind rushed against my face as each sinuous smooth movement carried me forward deeper into the greenery. It was almost effortless like water flowing over smooth stones.

I had been waiting the past few days to run like this. To be completely free and alone.

I enjoyed running with the others, they had shown me their land letting me get acquainted with the border lines. The only person who hadn't was Edward. As always he had remained distant. The brief show of affection when I officially joined their family had been followed by more awkward silences.

I wanted to run with him, to experience this thrill with him but it was probably for the best that I didn't. He was so much faster than the others and it already frustrated me not being able to keep up. They were faster than me not by much but enough that they could outrun me if they wanted. They stayed at my pace most the time but I hated that I was holding them back no matter how much they said that didn't mind.

Emmett however loved to rub it in my face whenever I was last to the meeting point. He'd even break out into what was MY victory dance just to aggravate me further. I knew he was just doing it to get a rise out of me. After all I had been a bit of a let down on the newborn strength front, I hadn't even lost my temper. Well not fully anyway.

_Stupid annoying vampire_

I continued to run through the green blur, taking in the scents of the forest. My mind brought back the memories of my first hunt. The sweet sticky taste of the blood as it ran down my throat.

I doubted I would hunt as often as the Cullen's. It wasn't a necessity for me, more like a treat. Like having your favourite food. I could survive on human food but even that I didn't have to eat often. The itch I considered to be my thirst only appeared when I was in hunt mode an unusual benefit of being half human.

My legs weaved me through the forest as my mind sifted through the smells that registered. I recognised one scent instantly like a light bulb being flicked on in my head.

Edward.

The sweet heavenly spicy smell of him that balanced perfectly making him smell purely masculine but still sweet and divine. My nerve endings in my brain crackled with excitement.

I followed his scent, jumping over fallen trees and broken boulders.

Dashing through the river. I enjoyed the cool sensation of the water splashing on my skin, soaking through my jeans and t shirt.

He was so close now, just through the wall of shrubbery in front of me.

I slowed to a walk. I could see sunlight flooding the clearing behind the leaves.

The Meadow.

Suddenly I didn't feel like interrupting him.

Then again, I couldn't leave without a glimpse of the place I'd longed to visit, ever since it's mention in the books.

I pulled away the green curtain.

It was so bright with no canopy covering it. Sun flooded in uninterrupted.

Flowers bent in the light breeze, their colours created a technicolour blanket across the ground. The long grass rippling, forming patterns as the wind whipped through the clearing.

I could see an indentation near the middle of the meadow, light bouncing out in streaks and rainbows.

Him.

I froze, staying on the edge of the Meadow. I couldn't enter it; I refused to unless he brought me here. Instead I stood in the shadow just watching the wind play with the natural flora.

It was beautiful, so much more than I expected. I longed to step into the light and embrace its full exquisite appearance, to feel the magic that seemed to emanate from it.

_He wouldn't want you here_

It was his place; I had no claim on it just because I had dreamt of it for months. That I had wanted to see it so much.

None of this gave me any right to infiltrate Edward's special place. The child in me giggled at the double meaning.

I turned to leave, although my legs itched to take that step into the meadow and I wanted to talk to Edward. I could have patience.

I had been patient for the past week and a half; I could be patient for a little longer. I just wish I didn't have to be patient. I just wanted to get rid of the tension that had built between us. I wanted to understand it.

The shrubs fell back in place and I sighed with my back turned away from the place I most wanted to be.

_Now for the run back_.

My disappointment lifted a little at that prospect.

"Holly" Edward's voice rang through to my bones. Melting me like butter.

I had just learnt to accept this feeling. I couldn't stop it. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to.

I didn't know if he had ever gotten my letter, if he knew how I really felt.

Ever since my awakening I had decided I was sick of denying myself the thrill that my love for him gave me.

Whether he wanted it or not it would always be his to have.

I spun and moved back the shrubs to find Edward standing just within the shadow of the archway. He had hunted soon after I woke up so his eyes had been their usual hypnotic molten gold recently.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude. I can go. I wanted to talk to you but if you're busy I'll just catch you back at the house"

I half turned to leave again but his cool hand gripped my arm.

"Now is as good as any time to talk, plus I have been meaning to bring you here since we met. But I thought Bella..." His voice trailed off. I knew what he meant. He thought the meadow was a symbol of him and Bella. And it was but to me it wasn't really about Bella anymore. She wasn't who I saw when I imagined the meadow. It was all Edward.

He pulled me slightly, bringing me forward as he entered the light.

Edward's flawless skin broke out into a fantastical glimmer as if millions of sparkling diamonds were embedded into it. He dazzled even my new eyes, his exquisite skin refracting the light. Rainbows danced on my shimmering skin, like colours dancing on cream satin.

We walked separately through the meadow. I took everything in, the smell of sunlight, grass and sweet nectar. Light powdery pollen hung in the air as butterflies fluttered between the petals and stems.

Edward sat in a fast fluid motion. I took one last look around me before joining him.

We sat in this magical place, silence between us for a few minutes.

"You've been avoiding me" There was no point in beating around the subject. It was the cold hard fact that Edward had been dodging any form of contact with me. I needed to know why even if it hurt.

"I sat with you through your change" I couldn't understand what this had to do with anything.

"Thank you, I'm sure that must have been hard to watch. But it's not like I was having a whole lot of fun at the time"

He flinched but seemed a little angry. Maybe at me and my remark, maybe at the fact that that I was forced into the change by Jack.

"I sat with you and watched you scream in pain. But that wasn't what hurt the most. You screamed my name and asked why I had done this to you. You blamed **me **for your pain. When you woke up I figured you would hate me for putting you through something so horrific." The pain in his voice cut at my heart.

"You were with me. You held my hand. I can remember you right beside me. I never blamed you for anything. I could never hate you" The last words whispered from my lips. I know what I really wanted to say. Did he already know?

Had he gotten my letter?

Those words were easy to write when I was dying. I had no rejection to fear.

Now was a different matter.

I could feel the blush rising and I hadn't even said anything.

I looked up at Edward through my lashes. He watched me carefully. I could see him take a deep breath and smile as the wind ruffled my hair towards him.

His eyes glowed at me, I felt like maybe, just maybe they glowed for me.

In that instant I knew I could do it. I would gladly risk everything for a chance to have Edward with me.

For a minute.

Hour.

Week.

It didn't matter. That time would be worth everything.

"Iluvu" The words whipped from me in a mumbled muddle. Hardly the grand declaration I was hoping for.

Edward's face cracked a smile but it vanished quickly. He inched towards me.

"Excuse me?" amusement played in his voice.

A deep breath later I felt my confidence soar.

"I love you"

As soon as the words left my lips they were stopped by Edward's pressed lightly to mine barely placing any pressure on my own. He brushed them gently sending shockwaves to the pit of my stomach.

"I've waited forever to hear you say those words. I kept your letter just re-reading it as I sat by your side. Trying to imagine how your voice would sound saying them to me. But now I've heard it I could never have imagined something so divine. I love you too Holly Jules, I just wish I had had the courage to just say it first. I didn't realise how you felt. I thought I would lose you forever, you seemed so happy just to be my friend" His breath made my brain muddle and his words lit fireworks within me.

"I never expected you to say it. You had Bella. I was just a bump in the road you were meant to take"

"You weren't just a bump you were a full on diversion. Ever since I discovered the portal you fascinated me. Everything from the way you'd dance around your room to the hours you would spend drawing and listening to music. You caught my interest in a way that no human ever had before. Bella caught my interest for a wholly different reason. Her scent seduced the monster in me. It was ecstatic when you told me to spend time with Bella. I found myself wanted to just be near her just to smell that mouth-watering scent of strawberries and freesias. When I was with her, I wasn't really a man I was a monster running on bloodlust. I sat watching her sleep the monster in me happy to be near its addiction." His eyes became hard, I could see him tense at the memory of the scent running through his conscience.

" When you left. Broke off contact. I slipped completely to its will. The man in me grew faint and weak. Without you around I could feel everything I had gained fading away. I hid from my family, from you. I was ashamed that I couldn't control the strength, the addiction, she had on me. When I saw you again I was hit with the same raw feeling I had the first time I stepped foot in your room." His eyes darkened and his once pained voice turned husky and seductive.

"What feelings, surely not love at first sight" I nearly laughed at that idea. I had always been sceptical of that kind of thing.

A smirk spread across his face. He shifted closer to me again. His body was mere centimetres from mine. Our torsos twisted towards each other.

"If only it were that pure. Can you remember what I said about your scent?"

I nodded "that I was delicious but not in the food sense"

He chuckled and it sounded like dark chocolate.

"You scent, made me feel something so new I couldn't understand it. It sent sparks through me to smoulder at my centre. I craved your touch; every move you made was like a sensual seduction. You were like sex wrapped up in innocence and the man in me wanted you more than anything" His eyes were watching my mouth as I tried to breathe evenly.

"But I hardly knew you. I refused to give in to something I didn't understand. So I got to know you. Your scent never lost its power over me but something else built alongside it. I couldn't ignore it. It was all consuming but it helped me control myself. However you wanted to be just friends so I hid it. Not very well as you could probably tell." He smiled at his apparent incompetence.

Flash backs of New Years Eve, my first day visiting forks, all those times spent with him thinking his touches were just how he was. But now when I thought about it the heat that used to fly through me certainly wasn't a reaction to just a friendly touch.

The same warmth saturated my body now.

Pure desire.

I drew out a long shaky breath. He was so close; I could also feel the cold of him soaking through my top. I shivered with the cold or the lust either way I liked it.

"Part of me knew. But the rest of me was so fixed on you and Bella. It wasn't till the Valentine dance that I really let myself feel the things that had been building every since I met you" It didn't hurt to talk about it now.

"you were so beautiful that night, I thought if I played your favourite song. If I could dance with you in my arms" He wrapped his arms around me.

"Maybe I could tell you how I felt. Maybe I could keep you forever" His words were mere whispers in the wind.

So close, my heart was pounding, every beat urging me towards Edward.

"There's no maybe about it" I countered.

And with that I pressed my lips to his.

He reacted instantly; his strong arms pulled me so close to him there was barely room for the clothes between us.

I crawled into his lap straddling his waist. Running my hands up his back, grazing the side of his neck as we shared slow soft kisses. I could feel the want behind them.

I lightly traced his bottom lip with my tongue. I'd waited too long for this moment. I wanted to draw it out.

Tease him.

" What was going on with you and Rianna?" I had him where I wanted him so I wanted an answer

A sigh slipped from him. I tightened my legs, pressing him closer to me as my hands ran into his hair. The soft locks tickled my palms. I massaged patterns on his scalp. A light moan vibrated in his throat, I placed another kiss on his throat urging him to answer me.

"Nothing. Although it was fun to see you get jealous. I just wanted to test you. To see if you still felt the same. You're so hard from me to read Holly. So unpredictable" He spoke between kisses. I didn't know if I liked the idea of him playing games or not. Especially since I hadn't known the rules.

His hands tightened on my hips as I rolled mine over his. I forgot all about his little game and found much more fun by sucking on his bottom lip. The smooth satin feel of it was exquisite. We moulded together perfectly mine didn't submit to his. My skin was strong enough to hold its ground.

The heat built as the friction increased between us and I found myself completely forgetting about how he had used Rianna to get a rise out of me. Just played with my emotions to try and get his answer.

I broke the kiss unwillingly, panting for air. I cursed the fact I still had to breathe.

Edward growled softly and instead attacked my jaw and throat. Placing cool wet kisses on my heated skin. I could feel his tongue swirling patterns on me. It felt like heaven but it was making me feel hot as hell.

I moaned softly a little embarrassed but when Edward's lips raced to meet mine I forgot all about it. This time there were no teasing soft kisses. When our lips met, it was deep and passionate. I felt his tongue trace my lips begging for entrance. I couldn't deny him anything.

I wanted to taste him too badly.

The feel of his tongue against mine sent thrills through my body.

"Edward" His name whispered from me, heavy with lust.

Something swirled in my mind.

An image of my human form writhing in twisted sheets whispering Edward's name, flooded my mind. Wanting being the sole emotion that paired with it.

I froze shocked.

"Holly?" Edward's husky voice interrupted my thoughts and the image vanished.

"I saw something in my mind. It was me when I was human asleep. I was dreaming" Edward's face was caught between sexual frustration, curiosity and...Embarrassment?

"You saw that?" His voice held a little worry.

"What do you mean?"

"When you said my name like that it reminded me of a memory I had. I couldn't help it. It just came to my mind" was he backpaddling?

"That was your memory?! I told you not to watch me sleep" A flash of anger distracted me. I wasn't really angry at him just embarrassed. That hadn't been any old boring dream.

"You read my thoughts!" Edward reminded me of the bigger issue.

"I didn't hear anything. It was just a memory not the thoughts"

"Oh alright" relief flooded his face and went to go back to kissing the nape of my neck. I wasn't done yet though.

"No not alright. When was it?" I didn't really have to ask, I knew from the way I said his name the dream I must have been having.

"Just one morning after new years, I had to leave before Ash came in and caught me watching you. There was just something captivating about you"

That proved it; he had caught me having my first slightly erotic dream in which he was the star.

"Oh god I feel so violated, it's so embarrassing"

"Don't be embarrassed it only made me want you more. Plus I can think of much more fun ways to violate you" he smirked running his hand up to my thigh as he playfully nipped at the skin on my neck. My anger slipped a little. Where was virgin Edward? The one with all the boundaries. The no-sex-before-marriage guy. Not that I had any plans of doing that right now.

"Don't think you can seduce your way out of this"

"I have no idea what you're talking about" his lied as he continued to draw circles on my inner thigh, his mouth just behind my ear.

"Mmmmm Edward" I moaned and he chuckled.

2 can play at this game.

I weaved my hands tight into his hair and pulled his head to the side so I could have access to his throat. I placed hot wet kisses up and along his jaw.

I sucked lightly on his earlobe and heard his breathing hitch.

This was too much fun.

My tongue flicked along the shell of his ear.

He gave me a soft moan.

In for the kill.

I grazed his ear lobe and felt him shiver a little beneath me.

"Enough fun. I've got to see Carlisle" I whispered it and bolted from the meadow, leaving Edward a little stunned behind me.

I laughed all the way home.

**Author's note: So she finally said it, it took her like 24 chapters but she finally spat it out.**

**xxx**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: I think I might be addicted to reviews, I get a happy little buzz every time I get a new one lol. Glad you all like it so far. xxx**

"Carlisle! I need to talk to you!" I burst through the front door. I needed to get my head cleared up.

If I was going to have to listen to everyone's dirty thoughts for the rest of eternity it was going to get a little frustrating. Edward's I could handle but I knew Emmett's would be a little on the freaky side.

I mean seriously what kind of weird ass gift is it? 'Wow I can see that porno you're playing your head'. It'll hardly be much use.

"woah! Someone's hyper! What the hell you been doin'? you're all fired up" Jasper had appeared from the study. I could still feel the lust that was a left over from Edward and I's make out session in the Meadow. Mix that with the exhilaration of running and the weird buzz of having some kind of new discovery. Basically I'm surprised Jasper hadn't ran round the room like a loony. I know that's what I felt like doing.

_Focus Holly_

"nothing Jazz, just a usual day out" I panted out trying to catch my breath as I buzzed round the room.

"Holly? Are you alright?" Carlisle had appeared at the bottom of the stairs probably concerned by my worked up state. Jasper sent me some calm and I relaxed onto the sofa.

"Thanks Jazzles" I smiled at him and he shook his head at my new nickname for him. I personally liked it.

"Holly?" Carlisle was still waiting for me to answer him. My mind was too full of Edward to focus.

_Come on Holly get it together!_

I shook my head out and looked at Carlisle.

"Ok so I was umm talking to Edward" I heard Jasper chuckled, he could feel the desire flashing through me.

"anyway and something happened, it's like an image came into my mind that wasn't mine. Edward said it was just a memory that came to him when we were... talking" I blushed at the end as Jasper laughed. Emmett came into the room and I heard Jasper explain what was coming off me. At that point Edward appeared sliding back the window. His eyes were set on me and even from across the room I could see that they smouldered. I was in trouble.

I suddenly felt a little hot and tried to flap my top to get some cool air to my heated skin. This just got more laughs from Jasper and Emmett as they watched me react to Edward.

Great now I had 2 of them to listen to as they bellowed at my obvious discomfort.

"Holly has this ever happened before? Can you hear thoughts or is it just images?" Carlisle was sitting excitedly on the sofa opposite me. I tried to focus on what we were talking about and not the god standing leaning his long body against the window frame.

"Nothing this strong before but I guess I've had something similar happen. It's like when I was talking to Jasper about his past and images, feelings, memories were drifting in my mind. They were so real as if I was seeing them from Jasper's perspective. But I just kind of brushed it off as Jasper being a really good story teller. I could even feel Alice's hand in my own. It was surreal" my voice was fast I'm surprise Carlisle understood a word I said.

"So it's not mind reading as such. It's lucky The Denali coven are coming next weekend. Eleazar should be able to shed some light on it" his voice was vague because he was too busy gathering theories and ideas in his head.

"The Denali's? Like all of them?" I couldn't believe it, I had always liked Eleazar and Carmen in the books they seemed such nice people. Tanya however might be a little bit of an issue. I knew she had a thing for Edward. And after what happened in the Meadow that could be a problem. Maybe she wouldn't be coming.

"Yes all of them, we've told them a lot about you the past 7 months. I think they're quite eager to meet you." I beamed at Carlisle and tried to hide my worry from Jasper. I needn't have bothered because Edward chose that moment to walk behind me up the stairs. His scent made the desire bubble to the surface again.

Jasper cleared his throat "I think Holly's done talking Carlisle, maybe wait till Eleazar get's here to talk about it more" I nodded thankfully and dashed up the stairs. I couldn't move my legs fast enough toward my room.

I wanted to go into his. To wrap my legs around his waist and pin him to the bed.

However I have boundaries and Edward had boundaries, well I thought he did.

So I would keep to those boundaries. And as much as I would love to skip so far past those boundaries that they are just dots on the horizon, I would probably regret it later.

_Yeah right_

Ok so maybe not regret it, I mean its Edward there's no way you could regret having his hands on you.

But I knew deep down below all the lust and raw emotions I would want to have a relationship not just some physical attraction that can't be controlled. I want the first date, the nights in snuggled up on the sofa, going out. All that stuff.

Then there was Bella.

Her and Edward had a relationship, I didn't quite understand it but there was something in him that felt pulled towards her. I knew now it wasn't love but it was definitely something, like a connection between vampire and singer.

How would I cope with having her so close to him at school?

How would she cope with watching me and Edward at school?

I didn't want to hurt her but I couldn't force Edward into being with her. I didn't even want to, for my sake.

I felt like I had waited forever for the chance to be in love and even though it had complications I wanted it.

I would just have to see how Edward coped with it, if he still wanted her in his life I could live with that. As long as he made it clear to her where his feelings lay.

I tried to console myself with the fact that it would hurt her less to lose a friend you had a crush on than if they were actually together in love.

Then again hadn't I lost the exact same thing? It didn't work out so great for me.

I sighed, I would just have to see what happened at school tomorrow.

I lay on my bed and played some music to focus on something other than the man across the corridor and the problems my feelings for him caused.

Tomorrow would be the first day at my new school, perhaps that would helped distract me. I still had the issue of whether or not my thirst would be a problem. The idea that I could hurt someone worried me but so far I'd only felt an irritating itch and that was only when my mind registered I was on a hunt. I could stand in the forest smell the scents of the animals around me and not feel that tickling in my throat. It was like my mind could turn it on and off. It was a strange concept but it was the only theory I could come up with. Plus it eased my worry of hurting someone. As long as I knew I wasn't hunting there was a chance no one would die tomorrow.

I curled on my side and grabbed my sketch book letting the music drift through my ears as I drew out the eyes that sent tingles down my spine, the fire in them burning through the page.

* * * * *

It had been a couple of hours since my talk with Carlisle and I was still in my room feeling a lot calmer than before. I had heard Jasper and Emmett come and drag Edward from his room about half an hour ago. No doubt they wanted all the dirty details. I had to admit I was intrigued to know what was going through Edwards mind. Like every girl, I wanted to know if he was still interested now he'd had a taste of what he said he wanted.

_What if you gave it up too early?_

I needed a girl's opinion.

My prayers were answered in that second as Rose and Alice burst through my door.

"Holly Esme's made you cookies and you're going to eat them whilst you spill all!" And don't try to say nothing because unless Edward was just practising his technique and kissing thin air, something happened" Alice grinned at me. I bet that was an interesting vision for her.

I groaned as they dragged me downstairs. I wasn't too embarrassed about talking about it in front of Rose and Alice. I just didn't want to make Esme uncomfortable, after all Edward was like a son to her. And last I checked mothers didn't want to hear about their son's romantic life. Details included.

We all sat at the island in the kitchen and I dunked my cookie in the glass of milk in front of me.

Silence surrounded me as I happily dunked my cookie again and again. Hell if they wanted everything they would have to wait till I finished this little piece of heaven off.

I neatly brushed the crumbs from the corner of my mouth. Sighing at the content feeling in my stomach.

"so I had a nice run toady" The room burst out in girlie squeals. I swear even Esme was clapping her hands excitedly.

"so have you guys finally taken the blinkers off?" Rose had always said me and Edward were just blind.

"I guess you could say that" I smiled at Rose and she pulled me into a tight hug.

"Trust me from what I saw some other things were close to coming off" Alice grinned next to me as Rosalie giggled and I blushed. Had it really been that close? I thought I was always in control of my actions. Then again I could remember the feeling Edward sent through me. It would be hard to deny anything that gave me that feeling.

"I knew you were in this family for a reason. Edward was so happy when you were around, when you left it was awful watching him fall apart." Esme rubbed my back lovingly as I took another sip of milk.

"Well maybe if he actually used the balls god gave him and told her how he felt he wouldn't have lost her in the first place." No matter how many times I told Rose that it was my fault not Edward's she still blamed him completely.

"Rosalie" Esme's voice was stern and Rose gave her an apologetic smile.

"It's true though Esme, you have to say he took his time, and from what I saw it was Holly who finally spilled all" Alice came to Rosalie's defence.

"He thought I hated him, because of the change" I shook my head at the ridiculous idea.

"Do you? Regret it I mean" Rosalie seemed concerned, and I could understand why but I thought I had made it clear how much I loved them all and the chance to live again.

"Of course I don't regret it. It might not have been something I expected but it's an adventure and I'm glad I get to experience it with all of you." I put as much happiness into my eyes as possible. I needed Rose to know that I didn't have the same regrets she did.

She seemed to relax and I smiled knowing she wouldn't worry about me.

"So are you excited for school tomorrow? We get to introduce everyone to the new Holly!" Alice was flashing me her brightest smile and I could see the cogs turning in her hyperactive mind.

"Alice I just want to blend in, no big scene ok?" It was going to be bad enough without her going wild.

"Fine I'll keep it low key but can I at least pick out your outfit? That's all I promise." How could I deny Alice anything, her face was just too cute when she did her puppy dog eyes. I swear my heart just melts.

"Ok you get outfit choice but that's it. We still don't know if it'll end up splattered in blood or not so don't make it too fancy" I saw all 3 of them flinch at my comment. But I couldn't hide from the fact that it was a possibility. Even if I hoped my control theory was correct.

* * * * *

"Oh god Alice, seriously?" I hissed as Alice held up the outfit of the day.

"It's perfect!" Rosalie was beaming.

I shimmied into the outfit and stood in front of Rose.

Alice had chosen a simple Empire line white top which was cut with a wide scoop neckline, the jeans were skin tight and dark blue denim. Dark blue pumps finished off the outfit.

"Alice do you really think white is the best idea?"

"look Holly, today will be fine. We'll always be with you at some point. I can see nothing will happen, you don't even flinch at the scent of everyone"

I ran down the stairs straight into the BMW. I would be riding with Rose I could have went with Edward but after the meadow I didn't trust myself to get too close to him at school. The rumours would spread about me anyway without adding in mine and Edwards relationship.

We got out the car and waited for the Volvo to pull in next to us. This was the moment I would either tumble with the thirst or discover it didn't exist, that I could control it. Rosalie held my hand as we stood the scents of the humans surrounding us. She would be strong enough to hold me if something happened. I felt her tense as I inhaled deeply I could smell each individual scent but it was like the human side of me registered that they weren't food. Was it possible I was still human enough to be repulsed by the blood of them but not by the blood of animals? I hoped so. I waited for a second to see if the itch would make itself present but nothing came.

I felt Rosalie relax next to me as I sent her a reassuring smile.

The volvo fishtailed into the car park and I couldn't help but roll my eyes as Edward smirked through the windscreen.

_Show off_

I was resting against the convertible as he exited the car and I saw him take me in. I didn't wait for his comment and instead turned to head toward the entrance, my new permanent transfer papers in hand. Within ten minutes I would officially be a Forks High student.

I had just reached for the office door handle when I felt him behind me.

"I'll handle this" He whipped the papers from my hands and I followed him weakly into the office. To be honest I had no idea what I was doing and it was nice to have him with me.

When we left the office he had managed to swing it so my next 2 lessons would be with him. I walked beside him but refused to meet him gaze as he watched me with those burning eyes. Didn't he realise the gossip those looks could spread? I didn't want Bella hating me anymore than she would. But I knew deep down that I shouldn't let what people thought get to me, it's just I had always been liked maybe not in the fore front of everyone's minds but they rarely held any dislike for me. I wasn't ready to change that.

We entered the English room and me and Edward took the 2 desks beside each other.

"how're you feeling?" Edwards eyes were worried, and I could understand that.

"I'm fine" _There's no burn, I think the thrill of a hunt just triggers it._

He smiled and we settled into comfortable silence as the classroom continued to fill up.

I noticed people giving me glances, some were curious other's happy to see me. I relaxed a little.

Maybe this wouldn't be as bad as I thought.

I recognised one of the boys from my time here all those months ago; he plonked himself at the desk next to me.

"Hi it's Connor yeah?" I looked toward the boy with the messy head of curly dark hair, his hazel eyes turned towards me and he grinned, obviously pleased to have my attention.

I tried not to notice his eyes travelling just a little lower than acceptable.

"Holly? You back? I thought you'd gone back to England for school" His voice showed his excitement at talking to me, it was just loud enough for other's to notice our conversation. It couldn't hurt to start the excuse off. Once this classroom heard the story it would soon spread round the school quickly.

"Well I loved it here so much I begged my parents to let me transfer for my final year. But since I had done different syllabuses back home I have to tie up the junior year. So here I am" I flashed him a beaming smile and his eyes dazed a little.

Was I that good?

Edward chuckled softly from behind me obviously at the state of Connor's thoughts. I hoped for his sake they stayed clean.

The teacher walked in and nodded towards me, this time round I didn't have to do the introductions, and for that I was thankful

"Today class we'll be studying the play Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare" The class groaned and I suppressed my own, I had already studied that play. Time to lapse into boredom.

* * * * *

"Ok class dismissed, make sure that essay is in by Thursdays lesson." The teachers voice faded out as I gathered up my things, next lesson was biology and I was nervous. Bella would be there and I had no idea how the dynamic between her me and Edward was going to work, I just hoped it worked full stop.

"so... what you got next, perhaps I could walk you" Connor's voice was hopeful as it enter my mind, I felt a twinge of guilt. I like Connor he seemed like a nice guy but I knew what that hopeful look meant and Edward was standing tension practically soaking the air around him.

"well I've got biology with Edward but thanks for asking. Maybe I'll see you later" He nodded and took off to his next lesson.

I felt Edward's hand on my lower back as we walked towards the corridor.

"Now now Edward, we don't want people thinking I just moved here for the man candy" I smirked as I took a step forward removing his hand from my back. He chuckled and walked beside me. He was going to make this friends act difficult.

" So why do they think you moved here" His voice was low as we walked along the corridor, I was trying to ignore the stares people were casting but I could now hear their gossip perfectly. So far nothing too awful, my little conversation with Connor had spread quicker than I thought.

I focussed back on Edward next to me.

"To get a better education of course" I met his eyes and his shone. He leaned close to me, I controlled my excitement at having him inches away.

"I'm sure I could teach you a few things" he chuckled at his innuendo. Emmett had obviously gotten to him, it had taken long enough.

I suppressed a shiver at his voice.

"I'll think about that" I gave him a wink as we turned into the Biology class. People were already sitting having conversations but they soon stopped when we walked in.

I could understand they were shocked to see me back but did they have to stare.

I hated the way their eyes rested on me as I sat in the same seat I had last time, next to Edward just waiting for the silence to break.

Just one word to end the stillness in the room.

"do you want to share the text book? I don't think you've got yours yet" Edward looked at me dead in the eyes. He'd broken the silence for me and I knew even though it was just a small gesture that it was because he knew me. He knew I hated silence.

"thank you" he knew I meant to thank him for so much more than just a text book.

It was for being my friend, for brightening my world, for forgiving me when I left him, for loving me after everything.

I felt Edward tense next to me and the smell of freesias swirled through the air.

I had dreaded this moment, chocolate eyes beamed at Edward as he smiled back weakly. They passed to me and I saw the shock and distrust flash behind them.

"Hi Bella" I smiled at her but it didn't really reach my eyes I was too nervous waiting to see how she would react to me.

"Hey Holly, I hadn't realised you were planning on coming back" There it was in her voice, she thought she had gotten rid of me and it angered her that I had come back to disrupt her affection for Edward. If only she knew how much it would really change everything.

"I hadn't planned on it but I really enjoyed my time in Forks last time so figured why not" Edward rose his eyebrow at my explanation. As if it was that simple.

"Right...so is everything ok Edward you weren't in the last couple weeks" Bella's voice was full of concern and love it hurt to hear it. Of course she blatantly ignored my presence, it irritated me a bit but I couldn't really blame her. She eyes would probably only see Edward in the room.

"I'm fine, I was just visiting family friends" Edward glanced at her and gave her what I imagined would be a small but dazzling smile, it would make her forget about the curt tone in his voice.

"oh right, you never mentioned anything" She was nothing but happiness being near him and I felt like the snake the grass.

"it was a last minute decision." And with that Edward ended their conversation facing the front.

I knew he felt that pull, does it hurt him to act like this towards her? I knew it made me feel like crap.

The lesson passed quickly and I relaxed as our twisted threesome parted ways at the door. Bella headed to her next class with Eric whilst Edward walked me to maths.

"Does it hurt?" my voice wasn't as strong as I wanted it to be. I wanted this day to be kind of fun and now it was just exactly as it had always been about me, Edward and Bella.

To my surprise he pulled me behind one of the pillars within the corridor. His hands capturing mine as he watched my face.

"I chose you Holly. I always had, Bella will know that soon. She'll move on. This pull I have towards her is nothing more than that, a pull. Feelings have nothing to do with it. You're the one I want. For eternity" I couldn't doubt the emotion that flooded through him.

He leaned closer to me but my hands pressed against his chest stopping him from coming any nearer. His eyes watched my lips as if they held the meaning of life.

"She shouldn't find out like this Edward" He frowned but stepped back, no one had seen us and he knew it was for the best. We continued to my classroom.

"anyway I'm not a fan of PDA" I winked and took my seat next to Jasper and Alice.

**A/N: Thanks for reading :D !!!**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: Glad you like the naughty side of Edward, I figured he was bound to cave a little bit. I mean the poor boy gets a shot of lust whenever he's near Holly and then mix in that he hasn't had any action in over 100 years. :)**

**Over 1000 visitors for Shooting the Moon and Fall Through The Stars :P I'm a very happy girl! xxx**

My first day at school had ended finally; it's not that it had been particularly eventful but it was tiring. Rumours had spread a little by the time it ended but the majority of people still liked me. Even if they thought I had had plastic surgery or injected myself with a drug that was illegal in the USA to improve my looks.

As for my 'friendship' act with Edward he had spent the day trying to break my concentration. I knew it frustrated him to act as friends but I wouldn't have it any other way, not yet.

But now as I sat in my room with Alice and Rosalie rummaging through suspicious pink bags I wanted him and he was too busy listening to music. When I had attempted to catch his attention to go to our meadow he had ran off to wrestle with Emmett! and I knew he never wrestled with Emmett out of choice.

He was getting a cruel revenge on me for hiding our relationship at school and it was driving me crazy.

"look girls he's lasted 100+ years without going insane so maybe he's really not that interested in the physical side" It made sense to me, how else would he have managed to stay a virgin?

Alice and Rosalie seemed to disagree with me as they burst out laughing.

"You have to be kidding me, do you have no idea what effect you have on him? Jasper's been close to humping the table leg just because Edward was sitting opposite you" Alice giggled and I had to join her. Poor Jasper.

"He's just gotten used to hiding it that's all, controlling the urge"

"I guess you're right, I mean he said something like that" I blushed when I remembered our time in the meadow. The words he'd used, the way his eyes filled with fire as he described the effect my scent had on him.

"ok so it's simple, we make you look irresistible. If he doesn't crack under this then I'm going to seriously reconsider his sexuality." Rose held up what I think were supposed to be pyjamas. They looked nothing like the ones I currently slept in, these were midnight blue satin. The shoe string strappy top flowed over my figure and dipped just enough decorating my cleavage with black lace. The bottoms were more like panties. Sitting low on my hips with a black bow in the centre of the waist band. They were short. Very short.

I did a twirl for the girls and set off for my mission.

I ran to my room and picked up a note pad and pen. I needed props.

_Edward I need some help with this essay. Please._

I hoped he wouldn't suspect such an innocent request. After all we did have an essay to do for English.

Speaking wouldn't have been loud enough I could hear he had his headphones in.

The music stopped and he was at my door instantly, I was in position my legs crossed in the air as I lay on my stomach.

Edwards eyes widened a little as he took me in. His eyes travelled along my stretched out body finally settling on my eyes. I smiled and pointed down at the blank piece of paper in front of me.

"so how should I start it?" Edward perched on the edge of my bed but I scooted along and patted the space beside me. He sighed and stretched his long body out next to me. I could feel his cold temperature soaking through his jeans and shirt straight into my exposed skin.

He cleared his throat and started writing faster than anyone should be able to. In a matter of minutes the blank page was filled with a whole essay. He threw the note pad across the room and looked at me, a delicious smirk spreading over his lips.

"done"

I left the bed and retrieved the notepad

"I asked for help not for you to write the whole thing" I tried to inject some anger into my voice, it didn't quite work.

I heard Edwards small gasp as I bent over to his side picking up the note pad.

"well all work and no play" He cocked an eyebrow at me.

What was I worrying about. This is easy.

Before I could turn back towards Edward he had whipped me up in his arms and landed on the bed. I was wrapped up in his arms and I giggled as he tickled my skin.

"how did I survive without that smile?" Edward's voice drowned out a little as the memory of him holding a top I had worn. The sadness and lost emotion that flooded through from the memory brought tears to my eyes.

I still couldn't get used to these occasional memories invading my mind, but to understand Edward better was a gift worth the unnerving experience.

"I'm sorry I ever left you Edward" He dabbed my face with his shirt sleeve capturing my tears in the fabric.

"hey no more tears, if you had never left I might never have had the courage to tell you how I felt" I smiled at the prospect of hearing the 3 little words that sounded so sweet coming from Edwards mouth.

"I love you Holly, with my whole being. Forever"

I grinned. He hovered over me as we lay side by side on the bed. His eyes danced as he started to trace lazy circles over my exposed hip bone.

His touch sank through to my bones and I sighed, I lightly traced his bottom lip with my finger tip watching him close his eyes at the contact.

Our feet were intertwined as our legs tangled together. Slowly we were shifting closer to each other like magnets. I slid my leg up around Edwards thigh as I rotated my torso towards him. No matter how much contact I had I always wanted more.

Soon we had wound ourselves around each other into a tight embrace. I wanted his lips on mine but in my state of barely dressed I wasn't sure if it was a good idea.

I felt his hands skimming over the curve of my hip. Slipping over the satin.

I could feel the desire building in me, our lips so close I almost ached for him.

I stared in to his eyes, biting my lip nervously. Could I control myself having him this close. I had only just managed to in the meadow.

His eyes darkened as he watch me bite down on my lower lip, I pulled it slowly through my teeth and I felt a growl rumble in his chest.

I watched his lips as his breathing increased just a little, shaking as it exited.

I made Edward Cullen nervous.

Surely that made me some kind of super seductress.

I liked that idea.

I took one final glance up through my lashes looking into his eyes that were like burnt gold, dark heady lust mixed with his usual shade.

I slowly dragged my hand up his back feeling every muscle I touched ripple. My hand fixed around his neck and that was all he needed.

His lips touched to mine in a kiss so sweet and soft. I could feel the fire burning beneath the surface but he was controlling himself, holding back. I wanted the fire but my head told me to keep it cool.

We lay there for hours just being together, sharing touches and kisses the fire still there between us but our love for each other meant we didn't feel the need to rush our time together. We would have eternity.

That night after Edward had left (I still had a thing about him watching me sleep). I fell into a deep sleep and didn't worry about a thing.

* * * * *

"I heard her parents kicked her out for doing drugs"

"no way really? I thought she ran away from home"

"well she certainly landed on her feet, I mean imagine living with the Cullens!"

"you know what, I bet there's something going on with her and Edward. There's no way they can just be friends"

These were just some of the nicer whispers that caught my attention as me and Emmett made our way to food tech.

I was surprised he'd taken it but apparently ever since I'd joined them cooking had seemed like fun. I cringed at the memory of his pancakes the first night of my month with them.

His facial expressions kept me entertained during the lesson, the food might not taste bad but to him it smelt revolting and it read all over his face.

He clapped me on the back and I staggered forward a little with the force of it. I may have been stronger now but sometimes Emmett misjudged his own strength.

"Just ignore them Holls, they're just jealous you get to live with such a hot piece of ass"

I laughed but gave him a questioning look.

"me of course" he waggled his eyebrows and struck a pose flexing his muscles.

I giggled all the way to class, forgetting all about the gossip that surrounded me. Emmett could always make me laugh even when he didn't mean to, he was just a natural practical joker.

The teacher started us off on making today's recipe. I watch as Emmett set up his things and started breaking eggs into a bowl. He didn't quite use the usual technique choosing to flick them open with his finger than crack them on the side of the bowl. I watched egg splatter when he hit it a little too hard, pouting as the gooey mess covered his fingers.

How Emmett ever passed for human amazed me but it was so him to just be himself.

I made a start on my cake but I had a little more trouble with the eggs than Emmett, he had practice at controlling his strength. I was ok with humans and larger objects but right now I was crushing eggs rather than cracking them neatly. After a few attempts I finally had 3 eggs worth of goop in the bowl, I decided it didn't matter that I used 9 egss.

The lessons continued, the minutes ticking away as me and Emmett worked on our recipes.

"So Holls, when you gonna pop our Eddie's cherry?" Emmett grinned as I coughed in surprise, spilling milk everywhere.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh come on, you 2 must be dying to get at it." He nudged me, whilst giving me a wink.

"Seriously Em, some of us can control ourselves unlike you and Rose. I mean seriously! I saw the state of Esme's flowerbeds." I couldn't get the image out of my head and it didn't help when Emmett saturated my mind with a play by play memory of the event.

"Emmett! quit it!" I wasn't sure if I was more freaked out by the visual he had just given me or the fact that the feeling that went with the memory now lingered and I had next lesson with Edward.

"Soz Holls. But just admit it, Eddie gets your lava flowing" He gave me a smirk. He seemed to like reminding me of my freaky blood and venom mix. If vampires were freaks then I was the freak that the other regular freaks went to point and laugh at.

"I'm not going to dignify that question with an answer." I flicked him with a little bit of cake mixture, which he dodged perfectly. I watched as it hit the wall next to the teachers head.

"Holly? I believe you're supposed to be cooking that not using it as ammunition," she said and I blushed as the class stared as I got in trouble. What was it with school that meant you had to automatically gawp at the person who the teacher spoke to.

"Yeah Holly, it's for cooking not ammunition" Emmett snickered next to me because I'd gotten in trouble. He could be such a child.

"erm sorry Miss, the whisk just went a bit crazy," I mumbled and went back to my cake, trying desperately to ignore the many eyes that watched me.

As the lesson ended I compared my singed attempt of a cake with Emmett's. His might be flat as a pancake but mine was black as coal. My cookery skills obviously hadn't improved with my change.

"I thought humans were meant to be good at this kind of thing"

"Yes Emmett most humans are, however I'm not like most people. I'm unique" I grinned.

"Oh sure Holly, you're real special" He ruffled my hair and I retaliated by smacking him in the arm, I decided the head was Rosalie's territory.

"Oh you asked for it now lil sis, that almost hurt" His eyes glinted and I backed towards the door. Emmett could be pretty scary when he wanted to be.

He lunged and I wasn't able to stop him as he threw me up into a fire man's lift.

He grabbed our stuff and bolted for the corridor with me squealing at the embarrassment. But I couldn't stop the laughter that interrupted my complaints. Kicking and wriggling around trying to get myself out, his grip was iron tight.

He ran like this all the way to biology me screaming to be put down whilst he just weaved his way through the crowds that gawped at us. He drew even more attention to us with his booming laughter at my feeble attempts of injuring him.

"Coming through got an important delivery for Edward Cullen!" He sauntered into my biology class and plonked me unceremoniously into my seat next to Edward. Some people laughed others just stared as if they couldn't believe what just happened.

I sat there bright red and looking bedraggled trying to get some composure as Edward just snickered next to me.

Bella didn't look impressed. At all.

"so I haven't seen you at lunch much? I mean I don't mind I've just been sitting with Jess" Bella was demanding Edward's attention as he laughed at me.

I took his change in attention to readjust myself and get my stuff before the teacher came.

"I thought it best to sit with Holly and my family whilst she got settled in. I'm sure Jess is happy to have you back. I think she thought I'd stolen you" Edward's voice was soft as he spoke to Bella and although I knew it was me he loved it was a little unnerving to see how easily Bella's scent could soften him to her.

"You have a point, I did kind of neglect them a little." Bella blushed, as if ashamed she'd gotten so mixed up with Edward.

"do you maybe want to work on that Biology paper we have due in? After school sometime?" Her voice shook a little, but she held herself with confidence.

I was torn between anger and sympathy. Anger because I was with Edward and she had quite obviously just asked him out on one of those 'study sessions' where she'd just suck on her pencil and make doe eyes at him.

And sympathy because she had no idea I was with Edward and it was obvious she liked him maybe even loved him but she would have to suffer through rejection.

Why did I have to be the cause of someone else's misery?

I had spent all my life avoiding causing other people pain and now that I'm not completely alive I become the one and only reason for Bella Swan's tears.

Edward shifted next to me, he was going to answer. I waited for the sentence that would make embarrassment rip through Bella.

"Sure, perhaps Holly could help. She's done it before anyway."

Well that wasn't what I was expecting. And neither was Bella. Edward grinned at me whilst behind him I saw Bella's eyes harden into a glare. Looks like this sick little threesome were going to Bella's house.

"Erm I'm fine with helping out if Bella's alright with it. I'm sure you could cope without me" I mumbled through the sentence, part of me hitting myself for giving Bella a chance to say no, to say it would be alright that they probably wouldn't need my help.

"Ok. My house tomorrow night after school?"Bella's voice didn't hold quite the same hope as it did when she first asked but I could see her working out the kinks of the situation in her head.

Me being one big kink.

"perfect" Edward purred and I gave him a kick under the chair.

_She's never going to get over you if you keep acting like the perfect lover boy! And next time warn me before you decide to schedule my time_

Edward just rolled his eyes at me and started on the work in front of us.

If he wasn't the love of my life I could have happily ripped him to shreds right then and there.

**Author's note: Reviews are great :) **

**Keep them coming.**

**xxx**


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:****The reviews have been fab :P **

**glad you're all enjoying reading it as much as I'm enjoying writing it.**

**xxx**

The final bell rang for the day and I straightened out of my slump in the seat. I used to love the French language, the fluidity of it. It could just roll off your tongue.

However sitting through this French class had been tedious. The teacher irritated me with her overly expressive voice pronouncing the words with a ridiculously fake French accent. She tottered around the classroom waving her boning arms around as if she was some bohemian revolutionary. She butchered the language and I couldn't wait to get out of the classroom.

To be fair it probably wasn't completely her fault. I was just cranky from Edward's little stunt and the feeling of constantly being watched.

Still it was unfortunate that my new least favourite lesson was one of the only lessons I had without one of the Cullens.

This hadn't been much of an issue since the majority of people in the class were people I considered to be something similar to friends, pleasant acquaintances at worst. However it seemed Emmett's fun and games before biology earlier today had cast suspicion into the minds of the girls. Faces that used to be happy to see me now held fake smiles as they eyed up the competition.

Me and Edward had done nothing really to create suspicion. We never gave way to the feelings that joined us. This didn't stop the rumours from forming though.

I guess I should just be glad it had taken 3 and a half days, they would just join all the other rumours that circled around me.

I wouldn't have been bothered if I knew they would be harmless but although they wouldn't really hurt me, they had the power to hurt Bella.

No matter how much dislike she glared at me I would never want her to find out about me and Edward through gossip.

I needed to fix it and my prayers were answered when Jessica cornered me at the end of class.

"Hey Holly, it's so cool you're going to school here! How're you liking life in Forks?" she seemed genuinely curious, but like my girls back home I knew she was just biding her time. The juicier questions would start soon once she thought she had eased me into the conversation.

"Hey Jess, thanks. It's great, miss home a little bit but I get to chat with the family pretty often. They're just waiting for me to develop an american accent." I chuckled lightly and hoped this little hint that I still talked to my family could dispel a little of the gossip that I was some delinquent who got kicked out.

"That's cool, were they alright with you moving over here? It's a big deal right?" We walked slowly through the corridor and glances shot in our direction. She smiled beside me her light brown curls bouncing as she walked. I was still the new girl so I could only imagine the benefits socialising with me would do to her reputation.

"They were fine with it, we'd always talked about me doing my final year away so it wasn't that much of a problem" I wondered how she was going to get onto the topic of Edward without being blunt.

"so what's it like living with the Cullens? No one here's ever been that close to them, I don't think I even know anyone who's been to their house" This was question one. She was on the yellow brick road to the land of Edward.

"They're really nice people. I can't think of one bad thing about them. It's a shame people here don't really talk to them." I beamed, I truly loved my extended family.

"But they're always so quiet, I mean Edward's never said more than a word to anyone here and yet you 2 seem really close. How did that happen?" There it is, the question that would get her the gossip she wanted. I thought carefully trying to think of some way to keep it safe, to keep my relationship with Edward hidden.

"Well at first he pretty much had to put up with me, I was good friends with Alice and Rosalie because of the exchange thing. I guess he just got used to me being around and we became friends. I think losing his parents really hurt so he doesn't talk to many people. You should come say hi in the car park" I chuckled in my mind. Edward would hate having Jess so close. I didn't see a problem with her but then again I didn't see into her mind. I had seen her face flash with sympathy when I had mention Edwards parents, it was a complete sob story but I figured may as well come up with some reason for Edward being so quiet. Maybe it would spread and Edward would be inundated with consoling girls. This thought amused me.

Jessica's face lit with excitement at the prospect of talking to Edward.

"so you 2 aren't, like, an item? Cos people thought maybe you were" She seemed unsure of her sentence and I hoped I had managed to convince her me and Edward were just friends.

"Me and Edward?!" I couldn't fully lie so I just tried to put as much surprise and disbelief into my voice as possible. Topping it off with a light laugh.

She seemed to buy it, thank god.

"So if Edward Cullen doesn't catch your eye, who else stands a chance?" I hadn't expected this one but perhaps I could use it to my advantage.

"Well I'm not really interested in a relationship to be honest, this year's really important and I don't want to be distracted. I tend to prefer guys a little older than me anyway" 100 years older to be exact.

Jess smirked at my comment and nodded as if she knew exactly what I meant.

We were almost at the car lot and I could hear Jess's heart rate quicken a little when she saw Edward standing against the silver Volvo. Looking all kinds of hotness.

He gave me a slightly puzzled look and I smirked.

_This is your punishment for inviting me on your little study date with Bella. Do try and play nice._

"Hey there Eddie boy, I was just talking to Jess about you. Apparently you're a bit of a recluse so I thought I'd fix that" He glared at me, I however was having plenty of fun getting him back.

"hey Edward" Jessica said softly and Edward smirked at me before flashing her a dazzling smile.

If he thought jealousy was going to affect me, he had to be kidding.

"Hello Jess, so you think I'm a recluse" His eyes twinkled and I rolled mine at his teasing seductive voice. He was going to have to play harder than that if he wanted me to back down.

"what, oh god no.... just .. you know... you're...errrr" Jess giggled and flicked her hair as she babbled about nothing.

I turned to wait for the rest of the Cullens whilst Edward tried a little harder to spark my jealousy.

"I guess I'll have to make a note to pay very special attention to you in future" Edward winked and I chuckled under my breath, his eyes flickered to mine.

_Smooth lines Casanova_

His smirk increased and he leaned a little closer to Jess and lowered his voice.

"See you tomorrow Jessica" She dazed over before stumbling away to her group. All of which were staring at the scene that had played out between her and Edward.

I saw Bella's eyes burn through Jessica's skull.

I could hear Jess recounting what happened, exaggerating everything. She filled everyone in on what I had said and seemed to revel in the fact Edward was very much free and single.

"so how long do we have to keep this up?" I knew he hated hiding how he felt at school. All his siblings could be with their partner and he had waited so long to be able to have someone.

"Well that's up to you. When are you going to ask me out?"Edward grinned at my comment.

"I'm not sure if I'm brave enough. What would my mother think of me dating a runaway with a drug addiction." Edward teased and I laughed.

"I think she'd say your far too sheltered and need a bit of rough in your life" I gave him a wink and climbed into the car, time to head home.

* * * * *

We sat as a whole dysfunctional family in the living room, just talking about the day whilst Emmett and Jasper battled it out on a Wii driving game. It was the earlier hours of the morning; soon I'd have to endure another school day only this one would end with an awkward night at Bella's.

"so how is school going Holls?" Esme was resting on Carlisle as they lounged on the large white sofa. They were in exactly the same position my parents used to sit in when we watched TV. I picked up my sketch book, drawing them as I talked.

I missed my family, it had only been a week and a half since I saw them but that was still a long time to me. I had never been away from my family for long periods of time probably 2 weeks tops. I was glad I would get to see them at the weekend.

The Cullen's had invited them over to meet the Denali's since they were curious about me and my family. It just added to the nerves I already felt about meeting them all.

"School is fine, everyone's nice to me. Some aren't so nice behind my back" I chuckled as I remembered some of the rumours.

"Humans can be so cruel" Esme didn't like the idea of me being targeted but it didn't bother me too much.

"It's fine, some of the rumours are quite entertaining really. They'll soon disappear and I'll just be another student. That is as long as Emmett let's me blend in. I don't really enjoy the way he walks you to class" Emmett grinned at me and I gave him a mock glare before laughing at the memory. I was just lucky I wasn't wearing a skirt otherwise people would have seen a little more Holly than I would want them to.

I faded out of the room just focussing on my drawing of Carlisle and Esme curled up on the sofa together. Love in their eyes as they watched each other.

I didn't quite see them as my mother and father. Not yet.

I already had a real family and I couldn't bring myself to replace them with the Cullens. Instead I liked to think they merged together. Carlisle and Esme although not my parents were my guardians, I felt like any problem I had I could talk to them about it.

I didn't know how long passed, I was more aware of time passing than the others were. I didn't know if this was because I was a hybrid or because I was still new to this life. However whilst I drew I found I could get lost in the picture. This was the case with the sketch of Carlisle and Esme. I didn't wake from my daze till I felt Edward's hand on my shoulder as he looked down at what I had drawn.

"You should show them, they'll love it" I smiled slightly but clutched my sketch book to my chest. I didn't show people my drawings, they were so personal it would be like opening myself up for inspection. I knew someday I would find it in me to show them to Edward. Maybe even let him see my past few sketch books. I wondered if he would recognise the pattern that I had seen when I had looked back over them before the Valentine dance. The pattern that made me realise how I really felt about him.

"maybe later, how long have we got before school?" I could see the dawn breaking. I wondered how many I would live to see. A morbid thought but I couldn't help it coming into my head. Once you almost die once it seems time becomes something to measure and contemplate rather than just something to watch as it passes and fritter away.

"couple of hours, so there's a little bit of time before you need to be ready" He pulled me up from the sofa and we made our way to the back porch, looking out over the field that was coated in morning dew. The dim morning light peeking over the top of the trees whilst the forest remained dark.

Edwards arms wrapped around me as he stood behind, his head resting on my shoulder. I felt him inhale deeply from the nape of my neck and I smiled. I loved my time with him. The peace of the still morning let me relax into his embrace. I could hear the other couples in the house just being with each other, quietly spending time together before the pretence they would have to put up during the day. Rosalie and Emmett weren't quite so quiet but I could forgive them in this moment, I seemed to understand why they felt the need to give in to their emotions. They had to have them relatively bottled up at school.

"I'm sorry we have to hide everything at school Edward." My hands rested on his as they sat on my stomach. That special place just below my tummy button that seemed to fit his palm so perfectly.

"I've waited a century for you, I can last through the days. As long as I can have you by my side at night" His face nuzzled into my hair as I traced circles on his hand.

"are you asking me to move in with you Edward?" my voice was teasing but deep down I wasn't as lighthearted. Did he really want me to merge my possessions with his? Meld our 2 lives together into one room. Was I ready to give up my own private place?

"what if I was?" He whispered in my ear and chuckled as a shiver ran down my spine. What would it be like to give up my bed to share it with him. I didn't really want to give up my room. Not yet, I'd just gotten settled. It was selfish but I felt like I needed somewhere that was just mine at the moment whilst everything was turned upside down.

"well I would say that's a rather large step. We should probably sleep together first. We might not even be compatible in the bed department" I turned my head to see him smirk at the double meaning.

"sleeping with a man before you even have a first date, what kind of girl have I fallen for?" I loved playful Edward. He nibbled my ear and I giggled completely content for one peaceful moment.

* * * * *

Lunchtime had become the most interesting part of my school day. It was the only time anything new ever happened. The lessons were always just repeats of stuff I'd already done so to have a bit of freedom and variety really helped with my sanity.

I sat happily munching on my apple when I heard Alice snicker.

"looks like Edwards going to have a visitor" Her eyes danced as I heard bouncing steps come towards the table.

Edward groaned beside me and I laughed softly.

The other Cullens seemed amused at Edward's discomfort at the coming situation but I noticed Jasper's body tense as the scent of the approaching person hit him.

Alice looked a little worried but I had an idea to ease his thirst. I flicked my hair towards him, I could almost feel the air swirl as my scent clouded slightly around him. He inhaled deeply, his body relaxing. Alice's scent was different to mine, he could have distracted himself with hers but mine lingered in the air longer. The combination meant it wiped out his thirst whislt Alice's just diluted it. Lucky for all of us the way I smelt didn't seem to have the same effect on anyone else other than Edward. And I certainly loved that effect.

"Thank you Holly"

"No probs Jazzles" I flashed him a grin and turned to greet our visitor. I knew exactly who it was her peach scent wasn't hard to distinguish.

"Hi Jess"

"hey" she stood awkwardly a second and I scooted up on my chair.

"you wanna sit?"

She took me up on my offer immediately. Rosalie didn't seem too pleased with me but Emmett distracted her.

"so how're you? Get up to much last night?" Jess was gazing at Edward so my conversation starter took some time to sink in.

"I'm good, well not great Mom's not letting me go to Port Angeles with Lauren. Apparently there was a murder or whatever. Bella said her dad got called out there few days ago. Really sucks cos there was this new film I wanted to see it's supposed to be hilarious! And then Mike's being a douche. But anyway..yeah what about you guys? Edward?" Jess was done with her description and she turned to Edward expectantly.

"We just spent some time together as a family. Is there a suspect for the murder?"

_Way to kill the conversation. No wonder people think you're strange. First you're practically a mute and when you finally do talk you talk about murder_

Edward just rolled his golden eyes at me. It seemed this was one of the main reactions I got from him at school.

I knew it didn't matter to him if he fit in but I thought he would at least make a small effort when people talked to him. I could never go through this eternity ignoring everyone around me. I liked having people to talk to, maybe not get too close that they realised something but the odd conversation couldn't hurt.

Jess was in full gossip mode, glad to have Edward talking to her. The other Cullens actually seemed mildly interested in what she had to say.

"I don't know about a suspect, but from what Bella's said her dad had never seen anything like it. The person was stone cold dead but there wasn't any evidence of a fight or even that someone had been there. The freaky bit is that they know it's not from natural causes. How weird is that!"

I saw Edwards eye's meet Jasper's nodding slightly. Jasper's grip on Alice tighten marginally.

The bell rang and I binned my half eaten apple.

"so English next, yeah?" Edward nodded and went to pick up my bag, I got there first.

"oh can I walk with you guys? I've got maths nearby. I was supposed to walk with Bella but she's being a bit funny with me this morning" Jess didn't wait for us to agree. As we left the hall me and Edward accompanied by a beaming bouncing Jessica, I caught sight of Bella watching us. Especially the light hand Edward pressed against my lower back. It was just for a second but I knew Bella had seen it because her eyes widened with hurt and envy.

Our study session tonight was going to be interesting.

* * * * *

"Holly, come on. It will be fine. I promise" Edward's voice echoed as he rushed down to the basement. We were going to Bella's but not quickly if I had my way. Why he was so keen to feel the thirst burn, I had no idea. To be honest I don't think he did either. He wasn't fully my Edward at the moment, just a little more monster than man but I settled with it because it was part of who he was.

I was dreading this evening, the envious look in Bella's eyes at lunch today had ripped away any hope that tonight might be ok. I trudged at a slow human speed down the stairs. Just to drag out the precious time before everything would get turned upside down again.

A rush of air hit me and before I knew it Edward had scooped me up in his arms and was bursting through the garage door. I was put down in front of the Volvo door which he opened and I huffed myself into the seat.

_So eager to please his monster,_ I thought bitterly.

"I'm really not sure about this Edward. She doesn't like me, she doesn't want me there and I don't like watching her moon over you as she blatantly ignores me." I sat pouting like a child, I rarely ever pouted but he wasn't paying any attention to the valid reasons I was giving him. I could remember a time when I wanted to be Bella's friend but I certainly didn't hold that feeling now. Perhaps after me and Edward are out in the open and she's happy with Jake. Perhaps then I could relax and give friendship a try. Right now though there were too many complications for it to even have a chance at working.

Trees blurred past the window as we sped towards Bella's house. The tyres ate up the road in front of us as our hands sat intertwined near the gear stick. It would be the most contact we'd have for the next god knows how many hours.

Within minutes we were in front the modest 2 storey house. Edward had speeded all the way here. I tried telling myself that he always drove like that but it still hurt a bit that who wanted to get to her quickly.

I allowed myself a fan girl moment, I was going to be in Bella Swan's house. This moment passed when I remembered Bella Swan would be present the whole time.

I grabbed the notes I had quickly retrieved from my old room in my world, before we left.

It had been weird being back in my old room even if it was just for a few minutes. Mum had kept it clean and pretty much in the same state it was that fateful morning of my accident. The covers were still in the haphazard fashion of disarray where I had thrown them off with excitement for the day. I had been so happy that morning.

I sighed and came back from the memory, Edward was just in front ringing the doorbell.

I heard footsteps from inside the house, deep calming breaths and then Bella opened the door.

Her eyes glowed as Edward greeted her; she invited him in and followed him to the sofas leaving me to shut the door. Completely unnoticed.

She already had all her notes out and was in prime position next to Edward on the sofa. I was relegated to sit in the arm chair across from them.

I was isolated and it hurt more than I thought. I hadn't expected Bella to like me but I also didn't expect her to be so unwelcoming. Where was the kind compassionate girl from the books? She would never sit and ignore someone who she had invited into her home. I understood that really Edward was the invited guest but I was here with him and yet she failed to acknowledge it. She was determined to block me out of this situation and the way I felt in that moment, I would just let her.

Let her have this one victory because although I may surrender in this battle it was her who had really lost the war. I had Edward, even if she thought I stole him it didn't alter the fact he loved me and no amount of batting her eyelashes would change that.

However when she pretended to not understand and look up at him with doe eyes whilst biting her lip I felt my body tense and my blood start to boil. Bella Swan was supposed to be hopeless at flirting and now she was showing the signs of looking a little too good. She flipped her hair as Edward explained the theory and lightly brushed his leg when she picked up her notes.

My eyes felt like they had fire burning out of them.

I wanted to burn Bella Swan alive for thinking she could touch my boyfriend.

I would have been angry at Edward for letting her if it wasn't for the absolute panic and agony that flashed on his face when her hot skin seared on his.

In that moment I forgot all about Bella. I had to help Edward in anyway possible.

_Edward just focus on me_

"Holly, do you have your notes? I think the project title is different but we could probably still use your findings to plan out the remainder" Edward's darkened eyes met mine and I saw him stop breathing instantly. The monster was very much present but he was still fighting to keep the man in him as the main presence.

I nodded and went over to his side where I had left my bag. I leant over touching my hand to his shoulder. I felt him take in a large lung full of my scent, ammunition to use against the monster that fought for its addiction. My smell would wipe the monster out but only for a short few moments before it clawed it's way back.

Once Edward had my notes I went back to my bubble across the table. Back to watching Bella try and edge closer to Edward, try to brush her hand across his as they swapped notes.

Anger built with every attempt. Even though they failed I could feel my temper ripple as she kept trying.

Blood pounded in my ears when she leant across Edward, her chest inches from his. I felt my body tense at the proximity of her to him.

Edward's eyes locked with mine for the few seconds that Bella's throat was just below his jaw. I could see the desperation and conflict in his eyes as he focussed on me and not the pulse that fed the smell of sweet blood to the monster. I was sitting here contemplating killing Bella just out of anger but Edward was the one being tortured by the idea and possibility. It was wrong that I was letting my anger get the better of me when he was enduring so much more.

I wiped the potent emotion from my system, feeling my blood almost tingle at the loss of it.

_I love you Edward, you're stronger than the monster. Focus on me._

My words were helping with the monster but I couldn't help throw in an extra bit to strengthen my hold on him since Bella was set on a subtle seduction.

_You be good and I might just sleep with you tonight_

I purred to him in my mind. Anything to distract him from the scent that drove his bloodlust wild (anything to keep him thinking of me not Bella).

He flashed me a tense smile, I knew he was still fighting but at least he was winning.

The project work lasted another 2 hours mainly because I think Bella dragged it out. Getting Edward to explain the experiment to her so she could have precise notes, making Edward read through his hypothesis and conclusion to ensure hers compared. By the time it was over I was exhausted with the energy I expelled trying to keep myself in my arm chair.

"thank you so much Edward... and err thanks Holly" the change in her voice was almost laughable. It was like complete opposites.

"sure, umm we should probably get back Esme will have dinner ready." I practically ran to the door. Edward hovered between the door and Bella on the sofa. Part of him didn't want to leave. That hurt a little, I just reminded myself that the part that wanted to stay wasn't really Edward it was just the thirst. The pull that was the connection between him and his singer.

"it's been nice seeing you Bella." He said politely. His faced turned towards me as a breeze from the opened door ruffled my hair. I saw Edward's smile brighten as my scent hit him. Love shone in his eyes as always and I sighed knowing Bella hadn't left her mark.

We walked towards the car close enough to touch but still remaining separate. After a few seconds I could sense Bella had shut the door and I grasped Edwards hand in mine as we reached the car. My tension dissipated at the feel of his skin. He turned me towards him squeezing my hand reassuringly.

"Thank you for being with me, I know it wasn't perfect but I couldn't have done it without you" His voice calmed the remaining nerves caused by Bella's flirting.

I heard a quiet gasp come from Bella's house followed by a small whimper.

She has seen my hand in his, it wasn't much but it would be enough to set her mind into spirals and her heart start to throb a little at the possible loss.

Guilt tugged at my heart and I dropped Edwards hand, his eyes caught mine and we made our way into the car. He knew she'd seen it, he could hear the slightly heavier breathing as she eased herself through the shock the pain of seeing us had caused.

It was strange how a small gesture such as holding a hand could be so devastating to one person and yet so fulfilling to another.

As I sat waiting for Edward to drive home I heard Bella shed the first few tears over Edward and as I expected it still hurt to cause her pain no matter how she behaved towards me.

**A/N: So Bella finally figuring it out, I know a few of you thought there would be a spanish inquisition but it didn't quite fit with the plotline. Many many Thank you's for taking the time to read. xxx**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Author's note: Ok dealings of the day:**

**1. Check out the EPOV excerpts of Shooting The Moon & Fall Through The Stars. I'm taking chapter requests so let me know if there's any you'd like to read.**

**2. Would be awesome if you could read my other story and let me know what you think, it's just getting started so I want to know what people think of it so far.**

**3. Read and Review people :D!!**

Bella's gasp replayed in my mind as I lay curled up on my bed. That gasp represented the moment the truth about me and Edward forced its way into her mind.

I could understand every emotion she would be feeling because I had suffered the same fate all those months ago.

I knew exactly how it felt to lose Edward and it was because I knew this that I couldn't quite forgive her for her actions during the dreaded study session, even if I felt sympathy for the rejection she was dealing with now.

She may not have known about us then but that didn't excuse the fact she showed none of the traits I had always thought Bella possessed. Being polite, gentle, self-sacrificing, compassionate and welcoming. She was supposed to be open minded and give people a chance but ever since we met on my month in Forks she had decided I was not meant to be part of this world, her world, and so she had closed all doors that may have led to our friendship.

But now I was a part of her world, venom pulsed in my veins. I was no longer a ghost in her story. I was a real person that had stolen the show and now she fought for the leading role. I longed for the time to come when she realises that it is a fight she can't win and to settle and be happy to follow a different path with Jake.

I had yet to meet Jake, or any of the wolf pack. When I really thought about it I knew so little about the situation between the wolves and the Cullens. In a way I hoped it wasn't as hostile as it was always portrayed. But at the same time I couldn't imagine a way in which it could be different. They were born enemies, the wolves were created to destroy what the Cullens were so how could a deep rooted primal instinct like that be reverted?

A soft knock on my door interrupted my thoughts. I had come up here to think quietly whilst the others seemed to have something to discuss. I knew I should have probably been around when they did it but I was exhausted with the day. I hadn't slept the night before and time with Bella had pushed me to my limit. I could still every word clearly from my place upstairs, and it seemed the murder was sparking the Cullens curiosity. Alice had said that she hadn't seen anything of us meeting the new vampire that seemed to be in town, they all sounded content at this information.

I heard my door open as the wood drifted across the top of the carpet.

"I wasn't sure if you were asleep" Edward's soft voice drifted through the mild darkness of my room.

I wanted to forget about everything the day at tossed up in the air, I just wanted to be with Edward.

"How could I go to sleep, I owe you your reward" He chuckled and sat on the bed opposite me, I crawled the distance between us and grasped at his shirt collar pulling him back down with me.

He lay beside me and I rested my head on his chest as his arm curled around my waist. It was strange how his skin temperature never seemed to bother me; it never felt ice cold or uncomfortable to touch even when I was human. Just pleasantly cool and soft.

I traced patterns on his clothed chest, skimming every now and then down across his abs. I forced myself to stay within the borderline, to keep to the boundary I had set up in my head. Clothes stay on, no heavy touching. Of course these only lasted till after our first date after than I'd have to have a serious rethink because I'm not sure how much longer I could keep my hands under control.

"Sorry I wasn't downstairs. I just needed some time to think. So there's a new vampire in town?" I didn't like the idea of innocent people dying but it was the natural diet of a vampire so I knew I shouldn't really hold it against whoever the newcomer was.

"Maybe but it's nothing we need to worry about yet, aren't you tired? You've been up nearly 40 hours" I yawned and Edward got his answer.

I really was tired, now that I was settled next to Edward I realised it.

"Edward will you sleep with me tonight?" I purred and he chuckled. He knew what I meant but I liked the way the innuendo played out.

"Seriously though, will you stay with me tonight? I just want you here. Always" my voice was breathy whispers as sleep started to swirl my brain.

"You never have to ask, I'll always be here with you" He started to hum my song and it sent me over the edge into a deep sleep. For the first time ever I slept with a boy before the first date, it was a shame he couldn't physically sleep with me in return.

* * * * *

"wake up sleeping beauty" I felt a light kiss touch my lips before I opened my eyes.

Edward was still beside me, he hadn't left to change or entertain himself. He'd stayed the duration be my side.

He ducked down again to kiss me but I stopped him with a firm hand on my mouth.

Morning breath, Vamps might not have it but the human in me did.

"Be right back" I ran to the bathroom and assessed my condition.

My eyes focussed instantly from their sleep blurred state. my hair looked like something you'd find on Edward Scissor Hands. I quickly straightened out my pj's and brushed my teeth. The hair looked hopeless but I attempted to run my hands through it anyway. The silky texture caused by the venom soon ironed out the matted mess leaving bouncing waves down past my shoulders.

I rushed back to my room to find Edward lounging on my bed.

He looked so good on my bed. Desire flashed through me and I launched myself at him, hearing the bed scrape across the floor a little with my landing.

I didn't care, I had Edwards hands wrapped round my back as mine fisted in his hair holding him to me as passionate kisses kept our mouths busy.

How had I lasted at school without this, the idea boggled my mind although I was sure the proximity of Edward's body had a lot to do with it as well.

"You 2 stop it, we've got school in 10 minutes!" Alice called up the stairs. I blushed in embarrassment at the fact they could hear everything but Edward distracted me again as his teeth grazed my bottom lip.

"I'm waking her up!" Edward called back and I giggled as he kissed my neck.

"you have 5 minutes to get down here otherwise I'm coming up!" Alice replied and I heard the rest of the house laugh.

Edward dove for my cupboard pulling out a simple black t-shirt and blue skinny jeans, he rummaged around my underwear drawer but I didn't see his choice. His arms held me to him with my legs around his waist as he made his way to the bathroom sending me in with one last kiss.

My mind buzzed with Edward as I dressed myself, he had chosen a black lace underwear set and I couldn't stop the image of him taking them off me from entering my mind.

"1 minute!"

I straightened myself out and tried to get a grip before stepping out to meet Edward.

_Interesting choice Edward, wouldn't have had you down as a black lace kinda guy_

He smirked and passed his hand down my back to rest at the base where the top of the lace panties was slightly exposed by the low rise jeans. A chill ran up my spine as his fingers skimmed their waist band.

Alice stood tapping her designer clad foot as we slowly made our way down the stairs.

"sorry Alice, I'll set an alarm in future" I grinned and looked at Edward.

_Although I much prefer your way of doing things_

He leaned down as the others got settled in the car, his lips dragging up my neck to place a kiss just below my ear.

I had a feeling acting as friends would be harder than usual today.

* * * * *

Jasper sat quietly next to me staring off out the window. It was Physics and I sat playing with the circuit, flicking the light bulb on and off as the teacher droned on.

I had always liked science but Chemistry and Biology were my forte not Physics. The equations and theories made my head hurt, it was the same with maths.

I was bored and although I felt a little bad interrupting Jasper's little thought train I needed to do something other than listen to the theory of relativity or whatever the teacher was mumbling to the class. It was either interrupt Jasper or daydream about Edward and I thought Jasper would prefer conversation to sexual frustration.

"So Jazzles when are the Denali's coming?" I knew he didn't love my nickname for him but it lightened my mood so I think he accepted it.

His eyes flickered to me and I beamed , trying to reward his attention to me with a flood of happiness. Something was bothering him, I thought perhaps the presence of a new vampire was what had him on edge. He was very protective of Alice so any possibility of trouble would make him uneasy.

"They should get here early tomorrow morning, well at least that's what we have organised" His words had a little more meaning behind them and I prayed the class was distracted enough to ignore our conversation. Although hearing would be near on impossible for them, it was so fast and quiet.

"Do they not just turn up when they feel like it?"

"They could but as you probably know there is the wolf pack to take into consideration" His words started questions running through my mind. The wolf pack existed and it seemed that the Cullens knew them well enough to take their presence into consideration.

The bell rang and I stored the questions away for later when we were all home. I wanted to know about the wolf pack and their dynamic with the Cullens. How many of them were there? Was the treaty still as important? Did the Cullens despise them?

Each new question that buzzed into my head on the way to lunch got put into my memory bank.

We reached the lunch hall and Alice danced into Jaspers arms as Emmett, Rosalie and Edward joined us.

Jessica bounced her way towards me. I liked her but it I couldn't have her getting too close plus I knew what she was like behind peoples backs and although I hadn't heard anything else bad said about me I didn't fancy risking giving her gossip to spread.

"Hey Jess," I said. Edward had started to come towards me but Jess's presence stopped him coming any closer.

"Hi, have you done that French sheet for next lesson? I can't figure out the verb tenses" She watched the other Cullens nervously as they walked behind us in silence picking up random food to keep up the human act.

"Well I could come to your table and we could have a look at it over lunch" I cast a glance to Edward and smiled weakly.

"That would be great! Thank you so much!" She grabbed my arm and pulled me to her table where they gawped at who she had befriended.

It had been a week and they still couldn't get over the new girl? I wasn't even brand new just more permanent than last time.

"Umm hi" I mumbled as they stared. Mike scooted up the bench closer to Bella to let Jess and I sit down. Bella was casting looks between me and what I guessed was Edward at the other table. Probably curious why I had chosen to give up my time with him to sit with Jess. I wasn't entirely sure why I had but I hoped he didn't mind.

I got out my French sheet and tried to focus on helping Jess, but my mind could focus on so many things at once. I soon found myself eaves dropping on the conversation near me.

"So we going to La Push at the weekend? I hear it's gonna be sunny for a change" Mike's voice rung out, he seemed to enjoy being the ring leader.

"I'm up for that, just no more scary ghost stories. Those werewolf ones really freaked me out last time" Lauren said smacking Connor on the arm playfully. She was obviously the flirt of the group.

"Hey who ever said they were stories, remember last year when all those reports came out about some mutant big ass wolf. Those Quileute guys might just have something with all their legends" Connor chuckled.

"Jacob said they're just stories the elders tell them at bonfires. Who would really believe in vampires and werewolves." Bella pitched in and my ears pricked up at the mention of Jake. She knew him, maybe not really well but they sounded as if they might be friends at least acquaintances. I also noticed the comment about vampires and werewolves, at least she was still in the dark on the whole supernatural side of Forks.

"You seen him lately? He's gotten huge! We should invite him and the other Quileute guys this weekend, they're always a laugh" Mike seemed a little unsure of Connor's suggestion. Probably didn't like the idea of the guys out numbering the girls. Even if he was with Jess he was obviously still keeping his options open. Mainly for Bella.

"I haven't seen him in months, he used to visit with Billy now and then. Might see if he wants to meet up. It's on his reservation anyway." Bella smiled, she seemed to like the fact that she knew a Quileute boy, someone outside their friendship group.

"Make sure he brings some friends, those Quileute's are HOT!" The table laughed at Laurens comment.

Me and Jess were done with French and she wanted her say in the conversation.

"well if we take our boards we could do some surfing. Obviously Bella not included. We all know sports aren't her thing" They laughed as Bella blushed, I smiled that they had picked up on her clumsiness.

She had good friends here, maybe not quite the same as the Cullen's but they were fun decent people. She could have a regular teenage life. Be happy without all the drama forcing her into the immortal life.

"Hey Holly you should come, it would be fun" Most the table made agreeing sounds but Bella sat silent, her eyes refusing to meet mine.

I would have liked to say yes but I still didn't understand the treaty, the wolves would be there, the denali's were visiting along with my family. Too many things conflicted so I gently shook my head.

"I'd love to but I've already got plans"

"Probably too busy cosying up to Edward" Bella whispered bitterly to Angela. If I was merely human I wouldn't have heard her. Angela looked a little like she wished she hadn't heard her. Uncomfortable at the bitterness in her voice.

Angela was a nice girl, and I hoped that maybe Bella was too.

* * * * *

The questions from the day buzzed around my head as I stood calmly in Carlisle's study. I hadn't been in here much since my change and I realised how much I missed my time spent looking over the hundreds of paintings and photos that hung on his wall. He had seen so much I couldn't comprehend living through everything he had and still being so compassionate and kind towards everyone. But I shouldn't try to understand it because it's just who Carlisle is. There's nothing to understand or figure out, it's just innate to him.

My eyes cast over the picture wall one more time and my eye caught on a small image, no bigger than a post card. It wasn't brightly coloured or well painted but it intrigued me. It was a tribal image showing 2 stick men. One was white whilst the other was brown, their hands were joined and at the meeting of their hands a dove hovered above.

I puzzled momentarily but I thought I understood the painting if not the reason behind it.

"Holly?"Carlisle's soft voice drifted next to me.

"Just admiring your artwork, this one's particularly unusual"

"Yes one of my favourites" He joined me in gazing at the tribal picture. I knew it meant something important to him because his eyes lit up at the memory. I felt my mind swirl in the same strange feeling like diving into water.

Carlisle's memory came into view. I was submerged into Carlisle's view of events.

_Thicks woods surrounded us as we stood opposite each other the scents of ferns, moss, rain, wood, mud mixed with the more intoxicating smells of the woodland animals. Emmett growled behind me, blood staining his shirt whilst Rosalie tried soothing his temper._

_They stood taller than us, their hot breath condensing in the air causing a thick pungent smell to swirl around me and my family. I was glad Esme had stayed behind, they seemed dangerous and I couldn't stand to see her in the way of harm._

"_Carlisle they're human, I can hear them" Edward hissed towards me, we were all on edge. They had interrupted our hunt with a surprise attack. I couldn't think what made them halt._

_I took a step towards the 3 beasts in front of us, the central one, russet in colouring with darkening fur around its eyes, kept it's calm. The one to its left let out a threatening snarl as its coal grey hair stood up._

"_We don't mean you any harm" My voice was kept low and calming._

The memory changed again, and I felt the disorientating spin clouding my mind.

_3 men stood in front, tribal outfits covering their bodies. They stood wary as I advanced to meet them, a few metres apart. Edward stood to my left whilst Emmett was at my right. The 2 girls were behind us so we didn't seem too threatening. It had taken too long to get to this point to lose the trust they had or us._

"_once you have all signed the treaty we shall leave, we need to all abide by this treaty for us to live without war."_

I felt a final shift, this one seemed the most recent of all of them but still within the same era..

_The strong smell of blood surrounded the scene in front of me, but it wasn't sweet blood it was tainted making it unappealing. I could hear the sounds of the fight behind me, just through the trees. The wolves battled with the 2 of my kind snarls and screeching metallic sounds permeated the air. The quivering man in front of me held fear in his eyes but I ignored his emotions and focussed on the task in front of me. His entire lower body was crushed to a point it didn't seem human. His spine was distorted at odd angels, but even in this paralysed state he healed. Rapidly his bones were reforming, but they were wrong. He couldn't put himself back together correctly. I worked fast trying to save his spine to stop complete paralysis. His legs would have to be saved later. I had to help him. 2 men ran towards me they were bloodied but otherwise unharmed._

"_Thank you" one man's voice was broken at the sight of his pack mate._

I pulled myself away from Carlisle's memory, I couldn't understand it. It didn't fit with everything I had known about the Quileute pack. I could recognise the time frame from when the Cullens first came here all those years ago but the men didn't seem familiar. I had never met them and never heard Carlisle talk of anyone he had known during that time. Then again I had never asked him about their time here before twilight.

"What was that?" the confusion saturated my voice and I looked to see Carlisle's face clear of the memory.

"That was our history with the wolves. We met a long time ago and obviously you knew about the treaty we signed. However I regret to tell you that the books misled you again. We aren't enemies as such. We were created to be but when their pack was attacked near the border of our lands we stepped in. It wasn't our duty to do so but Esme couldn't bare the idea of so many families losing someone they loved. One was injured severely. I helped, but even though he was healing fast the way his injuries healed wasn't right. I tried but I couldn't stop the loss of mobility in his right leg. He recognised that I had saved his life, that we as a coven were not dangerous to his people. So even though it went against our instincts we formed an acquaintance. We still don't go on to their lands or them onto ours but we are able to mix with them without war breaking out. Their legends depict us for what we are but they also show we are different from others of our kind."

I felt my mouth hang open a little at the information I had learnt. They weren't enemies. They even talked to each other with civility. I couldn't understand why New Moon and Eclipse had depicted it differently. Was it just to add to the melodrama of the saga? Perhaps. It would make sense that creating a choice for Bella that not only chose between 2 different boys but also between 2 different enemies, would make it more of an appealing story. It was obvious that things in this story were already so far off track that anything seemed possible, I had to stop thinking of it as Twilight and just see it for what it was now. My life.

"What would happen if you went on their lands?" I was just curious, after being asked by Jess today to go to La push I wanted to know if it was even possible.

"As long as they were told of our presence it shouldn't be an issue. It's mainly to avoid mistakes from happening. A precaution."

"Do they know about me?" I thought it only fair that they would know about the new addition to the Cullen family, even if I wasn't as much of a risk as the others.

"Not yet. We were planning on arranging a meeting with the council and pack members after the weekend. Technically the treaty was broken with your creation but we hope to explain it better since you're a hybrid and not fully a Vampire. That's why it must be done in person. It would have been discussed earlier but they have been a little busy lately"

Carlisle led me out his study and down the stairs. He didn't want me to worry about the wolves and their treaty, but the fact that I knew the treaty was broken left me uneasy. Even if their relationship with the wolves wasn't hostile a break in the treaty would still be negative. Like a break in the trust. I didn't want them to be put at risk.

Carlisle left to see Esme in the kitchen, she was baking cookies for the local primary school children. I could hear Emmett help by mixing the chocolate chips into the cookie dough.

I followed the piano music, that danced through the air, to find Edward. He often played after school whilst I settled myself from the day's events. Playing was like his way of calming himself, like he poured all the emotion out of his body and into the songs.

I stood behind him gently sloping my hands down around his neck, resting my head on his shoulder. I blew softly on his ear and he chuckled.

_Play for me_

"I will as soon as you let me concentrate. Now quit your Holly voodoo" His voice was amused as he quoted back to me what I had thought to him the first time I'd played for him.

After that first time I heard my song and fallen for it, only thinking it was Bella's not mine.

He played the same song now and I idly played with his hair, stroking my nails across his scalp as he filled the room with the sweet melody I loved so much.

His long fingers flowed effortlessly along the keys and I got lost in just watching him play.

I almost forgot my hand was tangled in his soft and vibrant bronze hair. I say almost because my body made me very much aware of it by the tingles contact with him sent through my skin.

As the song came to an end I continued my fingers running through the tousled locks.

I giggled as I heard a sound I never expected from Edward.

He purred.

Subtle vibrating purrs came from his throat.

I wasn't even sure he realised he was doing it. It was so cute to hear.

I laughed and it got his attention, the purring stopped.

"what?" His voice sounded shocked like when you get caught falling asleep in a play and someone gives you a nudge. Caught out.

"nothing Felix" I sauntered out the room chuckling.

"Holly, what's so funny? What do you mean Felix?" I turned to see him checking himself over, as if there was something on him that had caused my humour.

"You wanna find out? You're gonna have to catch me. Think of it as a game of cat and mouse" I laughed at my little joke and sprinted as fast as my legs would carry me out the door. I knew where I was going and I knew he would soon catch me but I thought maybe I could get there in time. My legs flew over the ground barely leaving a mark in the muddy soil. I could hear him behind me, rocketing towards where I was.

It seemed as if trees leapt out of my way my legs weaved through the path with such ease.

He was so close now I could smell him, that familiar scent of sun, lilac and masculine spice. I launched myself through the trees into the clearing. The light from the sunset caused the grass to glow and flowers colours to tint with a warm orange colour.

I waited for him in the centre of the meadow. Elation pumping through my veins. Some from running and some from the fact I had beaten Edward here.

His figure appeared in the darkened entrance. I couldn't stop the giggles from coming as I called him to me in my mind.

_Here kitty kitty_

**Author's note: thought I'd end it with a little bit of fun. Things will start to pick up soon, promise. Thanks for reading!**

**xxx**


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: Love the reviews. This chapter is pretty big with quite a lot to take in so hope you likes :D

Me and Edward stayed in the Meadow all night, laying beside each other as we watched the dark clouds interrupt our view of the twinkling stars. The long meadow grass rustled around us when a soft breeze flowed through. The tranquil silence that surrounded us let me drift in and out of peaceful sleep. I now found it strange that I had ever had an issue with having Edward next to me as I slept. There was nothing creepy about the love that met my eyes when I awoke to see him next to me, smiling whilst he looked down deep into my eyes. I didn't fear embarrassment at what my unconscious would reveal in my sleeping state, he knew me so well that everything was out in the open.

When dawn came the sun peeped out over the tree line it lit the forest with a soft emerald glow. I shifted from my place curled into Edward. The peace of the night was now disrupted with the early morning birdsong. I could hear the whole forest waking up, erupting into a gradual flurry of sound. That meant it was time to live another day.

"Morning tiger" I winked at Edward and rolled to rest myself on him. His skin was sparkling lightly in the dim sunshine.

"I'm not complaining but you never told me the reason for your amusement. And I did catch you" He flipped us, his body pressing mine into the soft grass. His eyes were dancing and I couldn't resist placing a kiss on his wonderfully smooth throat.

"You purred" His face took on a look of confusion at what I had said.

"Purred? Are you sure?" I giggled at his embarrassment.

"Most definitely, it was very cute. Some scary monster you are" I teased and he growled grazing my neck with his teeth. As if I would worry, his teeth were only dangerous if he actually bit me. I wouldn't injure easily, not anymore.

"Oh I take it back. You truly are terrifying." I dramatically played the helpless damsel in distress and flopped my hand over my eyes.

Edward's arm wrapped around my waist and hoisted me off the ground towards him whilst my head fell back exposing my throat. He growled as he traced his fingertips across my pulse point. No doubt feeling the hot pulsing heat of my blood under my skin. My blood may not have called to him in the usual way but that didn't seem to stop his fascination with it.

I felt tension build in me as he slowly leant his head to skim his nose up the length of my throat, inhaling my scent.

"you smell like heaven" He breathed against the sensitive skin on my neck and I felt that instinctive thrill race through me.

He tilted my head towards his and placed a soft kiss on my lips, taking my bottom lips between his before pulling away.

"you taste even better"

I let out a shaky breath and tried to clear my mind from the Edward induced haze.

"We should get back, the Denali's will be visiting soon. I can't be out when they arrive. I'm the star attraction" I grinned but Edward ignored me, choosing to run his hand down along my waist continuing down to my thigh. He stopped hitching my knee around his hip.

He certainly knew how to start a day, but I knew it would be rude to have the Denali's arrive and not be there. Plus I would feel bad leaving my family to meet them without me. They may have known and liked the Cullen's but I was still their safety line, like the mediator between their world and the twilight world. Ashleigh may have been completely comfortable in this environment but my parents were still unsure of the world of immortality.

"They'll have to be patient, I'm enjoying my reward" His voice was low velvety notes and I shivered as he led kisses down my throat to my collar bone. His hand was running light cool touches across my stomach under my top. Ripples of want flowed through my body. My control was weakening, it almost shattered when he traced the black lace waist band low on my hip bone as it peeped out over my jeans.

As much as I wanted to stay, to continue what he started. What my mind, body, and soul wanted. I had promised Carlisle that I would talk to Eleazar. It wouldn't look good if I turned up late and with grass in my hair.

"Edward, we have somewhere to be" He groaned and looked into my eyes. His were a honey colour instead of light gold. I liked the idea that his lust for me could affect him so badly, even if we were just kissing.

He pulled me up and we took off at a run, our hands joining us until we got to the wide open field that signal the border between the Cullen's house and the extensive forest that surrounded it.

It wasn't that they didn't know about us, but my family didn't quite know the full details. I didn't know if Dad would be too keen on the idea of me living in the same house as Edward if he knew just how close we were. Mum no doubt wouldn't mind but Dad was very protective of me and Ash. Boyfriend was not his favourite word.

We walked slowly to the front door and Edward took one last caressing touch as we passed into the living room. His hand passing over my rear with the most delicious friction.

I made sure I was a good few steps in front of him when we entered the living room, I would give Dad no reason to panic. Not yet.

There they all were. The Denali's sitting on the sofas opposite my family. Ash was studying the 3 sisters with an envious look on her face. Carmen was exotic and pretty but Irina, Tanya and Kate were stunning. I suddenly felt a little insignificant. Rosalie may have held the same beauty as the Denali sister's but I knew her so much better than these 3 in front of me. It was because of this that I never felt awkward or uncomfortable in her presence. This wasn't the case with the stunning women that watched me intently as I took in the room.

I didn't miss the way Tanya's eyes flitted behind me to where Edward was now sitting beside Rosalie and Emmett. Her gaze was anything but innocent but I didn't let it affect me. She could look as much as she wanted, just as long as she didn't touch.

I don't know if it was because my eyes fixed on her a little longer than the others but Tanya stood first her strawberry blond curls bouncing. I knew she was the leader, so it seemed right that she was the first to speak.

"Hello you must be Holly. I'm Tanya. It's nice to meet you" She shook my hand and registered my differences to her. The warm temperature, heartbeat, blue violet eyes.

"You too Tanya" I stuttered a little. My eyes passed over to the others.

"It's nice to see you all. Kate, Irina, Carmen, Eleazar" I nodded to each of them as they gave me a slight smile. Eleazar's gaze studied me and I wondered what he was seeing. A gift, a mistake, an impossibility?

Kate's silken blonde hair rippled as she turned to look over my family. I wondered how much the Cullen's had already told them about me and my family. They must already have registered the lack of thirst otherwise they wouldn't have been sitting there so calmly.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here when you arrived. How much has Carlisle told you?" It seemed I was to be the centre of attention as everyone around me seemed focussed on me for different reasons.

The Denali's were obviously curious, my family were just glad to see me and the Cullen's were quietly allowing me time to acquaint myself with the newcomers.

"Only that you and your family are friends of theirs and that an accident caused you to be changed. Obviously not completely by the looks of it." Kate seemed puzzled by my predicament. To be honest they all did. They didn't know about the portal therefore they didn't know why my family held no appeal to them. Why I wasn't what I was meant to be.

_Is it safe to tell them of the portal? It would be a little difficult to explain otherwise._

Edward nodded to confirm my thought.

I looked into the 5 new pairs of amber eyes that watched me.

"Ok this is hard to explain and I can accept that you will have a lot of questions. Firstly I must tell you that what I will reveal is dangerous if the wrong people find out about it. It must be kept secret. Are you comfortable with accepting this secret? If not I can only tell you so much"

Eleazar registered my Volturi concern and I heard him whisper their name to the others. Irina's eyes sparked with fear. They had of course already been involved with the Volturi and lost 2 dear members of the coven to them. I could understand if fear prevented them from wanting to understand.

"We understand the risk. Please continue" Tanya spoke for everyone when she nodded and took a seat. Leaving me standing in amongst the seated group.

"Ok so my name is Holly Jules, as you all know and this is my human family. My father Jason, my mother Sandra and my little sister Ashleigh. What you are unaware of it that I wasn't born in this world. I didn't grow up in this world and I didn't know of its existence till roughly 8 months ago. This world was merely a fictional story I had read and somehow a portal opened between my world and here. The Cullen's have read the books so they can confirm what I've said."

The Denali's stared a little apprehensive of accepting this. I continued with my story. Questions could be asked later.

"I became good friends with the Cullen's, able to get close to them because my blood holds no appeal for them. No humans in my world cause the thirst to burn. As you can see my family do not affect you." I pointed out my family who sat quietly taking in the new Vampires. Ashleigh fiddled with her hair, perhaps nervous at the amount of beauty in one room. My Mum and Dad were just sitting with their hands locked together as they watched me explain everything that had happened and what I had changed into. I knew they worried about whether or not they had made the right decision for me, but I hoped that in time they would see I was happy this way. It almost seemed like I was destined to end up this way. I had always wanted more out of life, now I had eternity to get all the experiences I'd always wanted.

I continued with my story as the group waited patiently.

"I had no real intention of being turned but an accident changed that"

Edward interrupted anger flooding his voice "It was no accident. He deliberately stalked you and ran you over! You can't pass that off as a simple accident" I silenced him with a glare. They didn't need to know every detail, just the basics. There would be time to talk later.

"So anyway I was changed. However something battled against the venom like wax against water." I turned to Carlisle for him to explain the more scientific side of my new self.

He smiled at me and gave Esme a light kiss on the cheek before joining me in centre stage.

"Blood tests have shown that Holly's blood does not mix with the venom but exists with it, like oil and water. Therefore she did not change completely. The effect of this combination meant Holly endured a change that lasted 6 days instead of the expected 3. She seemed to recuperate and heal during the first 3 days. Unfortunately the last 3 were not as soothing" Carlisle's voice showed his pain at the memory and I grimaced when I felt the same swirling feeling enter my mind. Time for another walk down memory lane.

_Sun streamed into the small light room, creating a pool of light on the bed. It just highlighted the convulsing screaming figure that battled against invisible constraints. Small blood splatters surrounded Holly's head where her screams and clenched teeth had caused herself injury._

_Another soul ripping scream ripped through her and I looked towards Edward. His face showed nothing but agony._

I gave Carlisle a small reassuring hug, it was my way of showing him that forgave him. I knew there was nothing to forgive but to Carlisle it seemed he regretted that it was his venom that had caused me such agony. He felt the same pain at the memories of the other's her had changed.

Carlisle gave me a slight smile before returning to Esme's side. I felt a soft smile light my face as Esme snuggled into Carlisle's loving arms.

I turned back to the waiting eyes of the Denali's.

" Because of the messed up change, I'm an exact mix of your kind and a human. That's why I look different, smell different, feel different. The reason why I still need to breathe and my heart still beats. I can eat human food easily and survive on it. I may not be as strong if I survive on it but it doesn't tint my eye colour. If I drink animal blood the gold would mix with the blue and form an aqua, human blood turns my eyes violet. That's why my eyes have a violet shade to them now, my body still has some of my own blood in me through digestion. They probably won't go back to normal for a couple more weeks."

They took in my words and followed my description by examining me with their eyes confirming everything I said.

"How does the vampire side affect you? You appear human. To an extent." Kate spoke trying to get all the facts.

"My senses are enhanced from my human ones. Strength and speed are also almost equal to that of a vampire. I say almost because I am still weaker and slower only by a fraction. As frustrating as that is. My skin has the same durability as you but if pierced it still bleeds before it quickly heals. Also it doesn't sparkle in sunlight just kind of shimmers." I passed into the light and showed them as my skin glistened in the sun.

"What of your thirst?" Carmen spoke in her soft Spanish voice. Her black hair caught the light creating a raven sheen.

I felt a little uncomfortable talking about my thirst and hunting in front of my human family. I knew they understood it was a part of the vampire lifestyle but that didn't mean that I felt right talking about it.

My eyes flickered to my mother. She was the main person i worried about upsetting. She had been so concerned that she would lose her daughter, I knew that talking about hunting and blood would just remind her that I wasn't the same little girl she had known for those 19 years. It was true that underneath the vampire instincts and altered appearance, I was still the same Holly.

"Ummm" I stalled and looked to examine Mum's face for a sign of discomfort.

She showed none, nothing but pride and love.

I relaxed and continued my speech.

"In everyday life I don't have a thirst. I'm able to control it to a degree. It seems to be triggered during a..umm.. hunt. Like, it helps to drive me forward towards my ...prey. Even then it's merely an extremely irritating itch. No burning, and no venom floods my mouth" They felt their throats, remembering the burn that could over take them during a hunt. It wasn't present now thanks to my families presence.

"Do the humans in this world not affect you?" Tanya seemed a little surprised by my reply.

"They don't smell like food to me. I think the human in me registers what they are and that repels me. Animals just seem more appetising."

My dad chuckled and I turned to give him a questioning look.

"You always were a bit of a carnivore, Holls. Took after me there" I grinned at Dad. Of course he would assume my taste in meat would be the reason for my current hunting preferences.

I relaxed knowing the questions must be coming to an end. I had told them everything I could think of.

Soon it would be my turn to discover something. I wanted to understand this memory thing; I didn't like the involuntary visions entering my head.

"Carlisle was right you really are unusual." Irina smiled slightly at me and I relaxed. I didn't like having all the attention focussed on me. It made me feel awkward.

I placed myself next to Ash on the floor becoming encompassed in the smells of cherry brandy, roses and limes. I soaked up the scents of my family. They added to the feeling of home I had here. Just being near them reminded me how much I missed seeing them everyday.

I felt my Dad ruffled my hair and Mum gave me a loving pat on my shoulder. I leaned my head on Ash's shoulder as we fit ourselves together perfectly because that was the way we were as a family. We were effortlessly in synch, just as I was with the Cullen's. Even in my state of comfort I was still aware of Eleazar focussing his attention on me.

"Eleazar, Holly was hoping you could help us with something. She'd had moments of experiencing the memories of others. We believe it first happened during a conversation with Jasper but it's occurred a few times as well. Can you understand it?" As Carlisle asked I felt my mind clearly in my head. It's bubble rippling around it. The sensation wasn't unpleasant just like a searching wondering feeling.

"I can't get a read on her. Not right now. There's something preventing me from getting an understanding." His words sent a small thrill through me.

Shield.

I had a shield. The bubble that surrounded my mind was always so clear and yet I had never questioned it.

I marvelled at the idea that I had always been able to control my shield even though I hadn't realised I had it. It was so flexible to my will, when I wanted to send a though to Edward it was almost effortless to open the shield and send it to him.

However I needed to know why the memories of others invaded me, I needed to understand and clear my head of all the confusion.

"Could you try again, please? I want to try something" I spoke to Eleazar and at the same time focussed on the bubble surrounding my mind. I battled a little with it to create a hole. Something to allow Eleazar to get a read on me.

Slowly but surely a pin prick hole appeared and I stretched it fighting against the need within me to let it collapse back to its original place like elastic.

I heard Edward gasp as my thoughts flooded him. My mind was open for business and he was get the full front of it.

I felt Eleazar's presence soak through my mind, seeping into every crevice absorbing everything I was capable of. Figuring me out as if I were some complicated math problem.

He left soon after and I sighed in relief as I felt the bubble close back up. As tight as ever, not showing a single mark of ever being altered.

"well..." Eleazar seemed to be deciding how to explain what he had found.

"after that demonstration I can assume she is a shield. She seemed very aware of it. I can't determine the strength but for it to hold off my ability with so little effort and so early in her change I can only assume it's strength is enough to protect her, though I'm not sure about stronger gifts. The control is remarkable. Has this always been this way, even when she was human?" he didn't pose his question to anyone in particular but Edward was the first one to answer.

"I couldn't hear her thoughts when she was human, unless she directed them to me or we were in skin to skin contact. I can hear her family, although they are quieter. Even when in contact she would sometimes have the ability to muffle her thoughts like there was a thin wall between us. Now she's changed I can't hear her unless she sends them to me. Contact doesn't work anymore" Edward explained this to Eleazar and the pieces seemed to come together before my eyes.

His touch didn't affect my shield anymore because it's stronger. Stronger than his ability. I'm stronger than my human self.

"But what about the memories? Why can they enter my mind when there's a shield there?"

"The memories are a by product of you being a reader. Like Jasper reads emotions or Edward reads thoughts. You can read a person's memory. Your own are probably still crystal clear because you have protected them. Perhaps your memory was particularly good as a human."

I nodded, agreeing with this. I had always had a better memory than my friends and family. It was just something that came naturally to me.

"As for controlling this gift. At the moment I'd imagine it's only if a person experiences a memory when you are close by and are focussed on them but I don't doubt that, in time, you could read a person's life of memories in their head. Find memories you want to read." He was pacing the room a little as he contemplated what I was capable of.

I sat patiently waiting for all the information to be divulged so that I could rest easy knowing that I understood.

"As for your shield it seems like a 2 way mirror. You can see out but people can't see in unless you open up." Eleazar finished the explanation and I sighed as comprehension soaked through my mind. Organising the new information I had acquired into compartments in my mind.

I smiled happily at the Cullens but my relief was interrupted by a concerned sigh coming from Eleazar's place. He had stopped his pacing and instead was watching me carefully as he edged towards Carmen, running his hand over her thick black hair in a sign of love.

"There is something that bothers and intrigues me." I felt confusion crinkling up my face in a frown.

" Your shield is very flexible and teamed with your ability to read memories there is something that tells me they could go hand in hand." Eleazar seemed unsure of this last bit as if telling me could be a dangerous thing but I was curious and I would rather know how the gifts I've got could affect those around me.

"I don't understand, surely I can just read memories. What harm can come from that?"

Eleazar shifted and I heard Edward take in a small breath at what he thought.

"I believe the combination of your gifts could be used in a deceptive or offense manner. To a degree. Because you would have the ability to have access to a vampire's entire memory, it is possible you could use your shield to affect their memory. Cutting off certain memories."

I heard Jasper shift at the knowledge of what I could do. He didn't like conflict and I was sure he was calculating the offensive possibilities Eleazar was revealing about my gift. The danger I could be.

"In the extreme if you were strong enough you could wipe a vampire's memory clean. Capture their memories within your shield and block them off from their own mind. In a fight this could be a great advantage. They would be helpless just a shell unable to remember where they were, what they were doing, who they were, how to fight. The possibilities are endless."

I was briefly distract from Eleazar's disturbing speech by Emmett as he whispered 'dude' in a voice full of awe. I would have liked to have laughed or at least smile at his childlike amazement at my now seemingly deadly ability, but I was too freaked out.

Eleazar was still speaking and I hung on his every word, hoping to hear something that didn't make me feel like a walking, talking grim reaper.

"I can't imagine it would be permanent if you blocked off their memory. I think you would have to be close by to maintain the contact of your shield. Then again I have known shields that can remain strong if a piece is removed and stays separate from the host's body. Like a small bubble that exists separately. The power of them dies when the host does."

I shuddered as he finished.

The idea that I could end someone's life just by destroying any memory of their past life. I couldn't imagine killing someone as they stood as a helpless shell in front of me. It would seem so cowardly and unfair. Not that I would survive a real fight. I wouldn't be strong enough to destroy another vampire without an advantage.

I remained sitting next to my family. The possibilities of my gift swarming my mind. For the first time since I changed I felt as if I could be a monster.

I sat staring into space. I knew everyone was watching me take in the information. I was happy I could protect people if I needed to but I didn't want a gift that could be so lethal. I felt a tear flow down my cheek and I quickly wiped the hot acidic tear away before it came in contact with Ashleigh's warm skin.

I turned to see her smiling at me.

"Everything is okay Holly. You can use it to make Mum and Dad forget that I scratched the living room table" She beamed at me and I joined her silly smile. I didn't have to use this gift to do bad things. Eleazar was just showing me the extremes its capable of. I was nowhere near practiced enough to be able to have that amount of control. I hadn't even tried to control which memories I see, I didn't know how to search through a person's memory.

I sighed and smiled to the group.

"Thank you Eleazar, it's nice to understand what it is" He nodded and I turned to see Edward watching me carefully to make sure I wasn't really falling apart on the inside.

_I'm ok. I promise_

He nodded and I focussed on just spending time with my family as the Denali's caught up on the recent happenings in Forks.

* * * * *

The night had passed quickly and I had loved every minute of it. I found that I soon relaxed with the presence of the Denali's all though I would tense up a little whenever Tanya's eyes wandered over Edward. I would have to show her he was mine soon otherwise her actions were going to be a little more than harmless wandering eyes.

Mum and Dad had asked me about my first week at school, how the classes were, if people here were nice. The typical parents questions. I kept my answers simple and happy I didn't want them knowing that Bella wasn't as nice to me and that rumours were spreading about me and my reason for being in Forks.

Right now Ashleigh was plaiting my hair as me Alice and Kate talked about the past few months. The portal and various things that had happened because of it. I explained the portal a little better and the existence of the twilight books. I liked Kate. I felt more relaxed around her than Tanya. Irina had seemed a little distant perhaps she was more wary of the Volturi risk that surrounded me. If they found out I existed, it was almost a promise that problems would follow.

"So Kate any men on the scene?" Alice had asked the question but I knew she had another motive. She knew about Garrett from the books. I smiled at Alice as she winked.

"Nope no men, still single but human men keep me entertained" Kate giggled with us as Ash finished off my first plait.

"So none of you have found someone yet?" Alice kept going and I wondered what was running through her mind, probably hunting down Garrett and setting something up. I know I had thought of it.

"I'm keeping my eyes open." She shrugged but I knew being alone bothered her more than she let on.

We ended our conversation and I listened to the others in the house. Mum and Dad were in the kitchen with Carlisle, Esme, Carmen and Eleazar. Their conversation was just simple questions of each other's lives. Mum and Dad were slowly coming round to the idea that the Vampires in the house had lived for a lot longer than the regular human life span. I think it still unnerved them a little to hear stories that came from centuries ago.

I drifted from this conversation to where Irina talked with Rosalie as Emmett and Jasper wrestled in the garden whilst they watched.

I worried when I realised Tanya was talking with Edward in the piano room. I tensed on my place on the floor. I focussed on their conversation, ignoring every other sound.

"I hope you're enjoying your visit so far" Edward's voice was tense. That made me tense.

"It's been nice meeting Holly. She's a lovely girl, very interesting. What she is" Tanya's voice moved across the room.

"Yes she truly is unique" Love was in Edward's voice but I wasn't sure if Tanya heard it.

I heard the piano bench shift.

"Tanya" Edwards voice was warning.

"Oh come on Edward, just one little chance that's all I'm asking" She purred and I bolted for the door to the room.

"Uh oh" I vaguely heard Alice.

Anger pulsed through me. I could feel it burning through my veins as my blood rushed. It felt like electricity was coating my whole body making it sizzled. It was like a dimmed feeling that had saturated me through my burning change. Only now it wasn't pain that it inflicted on me but instead pure exquisite thrilling power.

I burst through the door a growl ripping through my throat as I took in the scene before me. Tanya was draped across Edward as he leant back against the keys. Her back was facing me and I felt a snarl bubble out my mouth as the anger took on a new level.

Fury blazed in my veins and red hazed over my mind. My heart was flying at the fire that had burst out in me. I crouched and felt the power in my body heighten at the idea of a fight. My senses amplified with my mood.

All this had happened in a millisecond, I watched Tanya turned but it was in slow motion with these new eyes. Her face was surprised and I saw Edwards behind her stare in shock.

Only a small part of me registered this, the majority was set on causing Tanya harm. My ears registered the flurry of movement as the house came to control the situation.

I hissed at the interruption of their presence. I wanted to hurt her and I didn't want the hassle of people holding me back. My eyes flashed around the slow motion figures that entered the room.

Each of the Cullen's stared in disbelief for a split second.

I'd had enough of this. Tanya had removed herself from Edward slowly, well it seemed slow to me. My movements only took split seconds to do. I stalked towards her my eyes set on her throat.

"Holly?" I heard her question me and I replied with a snarl. She had made a move on Edward and she dared to question me?!

The rational side of my brain knew she hadn't known about us but I wasn't being rational now. I want to rip and tear. To look down on her tangled limbs. Destroy her perfect beautiful body.

"Stop her" Alice screamed as I made the decision to pounce.

My legs tensed to spring but I felt strong arms tight around my waist, trying to hold me in place. Calm attacked at my furious mind but it sizzled away like water hitting fire.

The arms fought to bind my limbs in place. They couldn't, I forced my way out of them easily.

Feeling the awesome power in my muscles pull the iron grip off me.

"Emmett, some help here" Voices rushed in and out of my mind as I fought my way towards Tanya feral sounds ripping through me.

"Holly, calm down. This isn't you" Rosalie's voice was faint against the sound of the rushing blood.

Tanya's face was pure shock and fear as she backed to the window. Edward's face was a strange mix of awe and worry.

_If you even enjoyed one moment of it! I might not tear you apart but something will definitely be ripped off!_

I spat at Edward's mind and saw him balk at my thought and unconsciously cover his crotch.

I smirked for a second before once again focussing my searing glare on Tanya, as she stood confused and panicked in the far corner of the room. She crouched but it wasn't the offensive position I was in. Instead it was purely defensive.

I felt my anger build even further at the fact that she wasn't even going to fight me. I wanted to express my competitive side with pure violence and she was denying me that.

I felt more hands grab at me, these were stronger but I still fought against them struggling, twisting and urging myself forwards.

"Christ Holly, you been on steroids or summit?!" Emmetts booming voice hit me through the fury and I snapped my eyes towards him. A warning growl rumbling in my chest.

"She was all over him!" I hissed towards Tanya.

"Uh I didn't realise... I wouldn't have if I'd known" I snarled as Tanya spoke, but I could feel some of my anger ebb away.

Just a little bit, I still felt the power that consumed me, the tingle on my skin.

"Holly?" My mum's voice was soft and worried, she gasped in fear when I turned to her. I felt my whole body soften when I took in the terrified and worried faces of my human family.

The rushing blood started to still at the instant of seeing them.

The vivid sight my eyes had acquired dimmed a little.

The eighth colour in the spectrum faded. I didn't miss the vivid scene or the extra sensitive hearing.

I liked feeling myself eased back to normality.

I sighed and closed my eyes, calming myself down.

"I'm sorry" I whispered and turned to the audience that had gathered.

My eyes opened to see them all relax.

"I know Tanya had no idea of knowing. I just lost it." Tanya rushed to join her coven and I gave her a weak smile hoping to ease her nerves.

"We understand that but what happened to you?" Rosalie was looking at me concerned. I felt Edward's hand brush against mine and caught the look in my father's eye when he noticed it.

I chuckled as his eyes looked over Edward.

"What you mean Rose? I was just angry that's all" even I knew that I was far beyond angry but I didn't want to think about it too much it just made my veins fizzle like just the memory could trigger my fury again.

"Holly it was so much more than that, Jasper and Emmett struggled to hold you. You were faster than I've ever seen you move. You were just a blur." Alice looked at me with astonishment.

I felt a little smug that Emmett had struggled with me, I bet that wounded his ego a bit.

"You were different, not our softie Holly anymore" Emmett eyed me up as if I held some kind of fun possibility. My guess was he was planning a test match.

"It took everything I had to calm you down and even then it only worked when you focussed" Jasper was hovering between me and Alice. He thought I was dangerous. This thought both thrilled and scared me. Had I been that different?

"I didn't realise I changed so much. I could just feel my blood rushing and the power it brought with it. I liked it" I looked down in shame. I had liked the way the power made me feel invincible. I didn't feel a single cell of human in me was left unchanged. I felt like a vampire.

A very angry vampire.

Now was a completely different matter, I could feel the power dripping out of my cells, leaving them in their usual state of half and half.

"Your eyes... honey your eyes. You weren't you anymore" My mum's voice shook and I grasped her in a hug. She would hate the idea of losing her daughter completely.

"I'm sorry I scared you, how did they change? Are they normal now?" I touched my hands to my face and tried to see the colour of my eyes as they reflected in the window opposite me.

"They were so dark, like black spread from you pupils and mixed with the blue. The colour of midnight blue" Mum searched my face for any darkness left in my eyes. She relaxed when she didn't see any.

"They weren't completely one flat colour, the colour faded from black to blue round the edge. I could see them almost glowing underneath the black" Edwards voice held fear in it. I squeezed his hand and he pulled me a little closer to him. I saw my Dad scrutinising our joined hands and he raised an eyebrow at me but I couldn't find it in me to explain right now I was too messed up.

"I don't understand, I'm sick of being some freak!" No real anger tainted my voice, just desperation. I had only been in this life for just over a week and yet I'd had to learn so much more about myself. I usually liked new discoveries but for once I just wanted to be at peace knowing nothing was going to leak out of my surface.

That there wouldn't be some new anomaly to talk about or test.

"I'm sorry Holly. I didn't realise something like this could happen" Carlisle stepped forward and examined my eyes whilst he comforted me.

"I should have guessed there was a possibility of your blood combining with the venom during anger. The rushing of your blood would make them mix temporarily. We just never experienced a true outburst of anger from you to see if it would happen" He smiled but I couldn't return it. I felt awful for my thoughts I'd had towards Tanya. The way I wanted to really hurt her.

For the first time I felt that I risked losing myself to become a person I had never wanted to be. Just the memory of Tanya against Edward sent my anger to flurry through me again. What if I lost it one day and seriously hurt someone? Could I forgive myself?

I looked around the people who all watched me. Some were worried, scared or cautious others were relieved or confused. My human family watched me with concern but also love as always. I ached at the thought that I could have injured them in my outburst. That if in future I got angry and lashed out, it would be the last interaction I would have with them. They wouldn't stand a chance of surviving it. At least a vampire could be put back together. My family wouldn't have the same luck.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:I'm going to start setting some kind of schedule for updating because obviously at the moment it's a bit random. So starting from now, expect an update on this story every Friday :) and many thank you's to everyone who reviewed the last chapter!**

he weekend passed without further traumatic events happening. Tanya stayed away from me and Edward, obviously still a little shaken by what had happened. I tried to apologise several times but she wouldn't stick around in the same room for long enough. The other Denali's seemed to like me but were, like Tanya, wary of what I was capable of.

I didn't understand it; even in a temper my strength was only equal to that of a newborn. I didn't really know how to fight and there were plenty of people around to stop me. I wasn't really a risk to them.

My human and vampire family didn't show quite as much caution but I could see it bothered them that I had another side of me beneath the surface. Edward especially still seemed bothered by that fact he had come quite close to having his virginity ripped from him and not in the pleasurable, intimate way. Much more the literal ripping off way.

I knew I wouldn't really hurt him. I couldn't imagine a reason that would cause me to physically hurt him, ever.

However I hadn't exactly told Edward that, so that was why he was being extra nice and I wasn't inclined for him to stop. For some reason I just felt like I needed the cushioned comfort Edward was giving me because it seemed I was whirling from one hectic event to another. I hadn't had a chance to settle from my eventful weekend when it was already Sunday night.

Tonight was the night of the Wolves meeting and I was nervous. I could sense the whole family was, I didn't need Jasper's gift to know that.

If my other side got triggered I could risk so much.

I didn't expect it to happen, I had never felt particularly angry before the incident with Tanya but the nerves of knowing what happened when I really did lose it kept me on edge.

Edward stood holding my hand whilst we waited as a family to meet the Wolves. It was near sunset and the forest around the small clearing looked dark but the clearing we were standing in was bathed in fiery golden light giving the Cullen's a rosy glow that made them look more human than usual.

We were waiting at the borderline of the 2 territories and I could hear the heavy panting and footfalls as the wolves came towards us at an inhuman speed. I had always wondered how the wolves managed to keep up with the vampires. It just didn't seem possible for giant wolves to be able to move at that kind of speed, but now that I heard it with my own ears it seemed that it was simply due to the pure power of their limbs. Each footfall and heavy breath was loaded with the raw power stored in their body. Vampires were made to be silent and deadly but these wolves were made for intimidation, to be raw and wild.

I focussed my ears on the sound of every staggered sound of paws pounding into the earth, trying to count their numbers. This was not the small pack from Carlisle's memory, it was larger and to me much more intimidating than the 3 men Carlisle had encountered and helped. Just through their numbers I could tell that I already knew about each of them from the books. I had a vague idea of what their personalities would be like, who was important to them, their opinions on their way of life, their opinions on our way of life but I didn't know how they would react to the news of what I am. I knew they would mean the Cullen's no harm but what if they decided I wasn't worth betting on, that my nature was too volatile or undetermined to accept.

I sighed heavily at these thoughts and Edward held me closer to him placing a small kiss on my forehead.

I could see and hear the trees clearly rustle as their massive forms stepped out into the reddening sunlight.

There was one human man amongst 6 beasts, their fur glossy and deep earthy colours.

I smirked at Emmett "Hey, Em. It's a shame I don't have a lasso, they look like they'd be way more fun than a grizzly"

His booming laughter, along with the rest of the family's chuckles, helped ease my nerves. I turned my attention back towards the wolves and inhaled deeply.

I could smell them distinctly, it wasn't repulsive but woodsy. Like the smell the forest gave off after it rained. Each one had a slightly different scent like each vampire did.

I looked for similarities between them and the book. I recognised the colours of their fur.

I knew each one by name.

Jared, Paul, Jacob, Quil, Embry and Seth.

They had all phased due to the Cullen's presence and I knew that would create some resentment towards us. Carlisle may have saved their ancestors but that didn't stop us from being the reason that their lives had to change and now they had to deal with the burden of being the town's protectors. They couldn't have a regular school life or relationships. They were destined to be shrouded in secrecy just as the Cullen's were. The only difference was that when they gained enough control they would be able to leave everything, wolf related, behind. Unlike me and the Cullen's, they weren't locked into being what they were for the rest of their life. They still had the option of a normal human life; it would just take them a little time and patience.

Sam stood before us, a scroll in hand. He shook Carlisle's hand out of respect, not wincing at the temperature. No smile lit his face, it was just a calm mask that showed this wasn't about pleasure but purely civility and business.

"So is she the reason you called the meeting?" His voice wasn't rude but it held a little annoyance as if he had somewhere else to be.

"Her name is Holly Jules, she is a part of our family now. We thought it best to inform you" Carlisle was polite, I could see Jasper and Emmett loosely flank him but remaining behind. The wolves weren't a threat but instinct could sometimes be hard to control.

"What is she? She looks human but something was different about her scent" Edward chuckled as Sam spoke and I wondered what was going through the packs mind.

_What's so funny?_

"They're just a little confused, they don't like not understanding. And they especially don't like that you smell good to them. They're used to us being a little too sweet." His face still held the amused expression so at least I didn't smell to them like I did to him otherwise I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be so calm.

"She's a hybrid, half human, half vampire" as soon as the words left Carlisle's mouth I saw Sam's expression become confused.

"How is that even possible?" The wolves sat quietly behind him staring intently at me. I caught Jacob's eye and smiled, I wondered if he enjoyed his weekend with Bella. He showed no sign of being stunned by my behaviour. Then again he didn't really return the smile just fixed me with a look of curiosity. I turned to him and fixed my eyes with his. If he was going to stare then I was going to have some fun, I could feel my competitive side coming out to play and it would help relieve some of the nerves I was feeling. After a few moments of my unblinking eyes locked with his. He soon got the message and turned to look me dead in the eye with a slight look of determination.

_Game on_

"Holly..." Edward sighed and I shhh'd him putting my fingers to his lips without breaking my stare.

A few more seconds passed and I narrowed my eyes to ease the sting that was developing from the lack of blinking. I could see Jake wouldn't last much longer and I counted off the seconds in my head.

3

2

1

"Bam! You blinked Jakey boy! I win!" I broke out into my victory dance much to the surprise of Sam. He looked at me as if I had gone insane and even Carlisle had a look of concern on his face as he took in me doing the jazz hands.

_Great way to make a good first impression Holls._

"Sorry, what did you say?" I ducked my head in shame of being distracted from Sam's question by a simple staring match.

I could hear the wolfy chuckles mixed with Edward's snickers and the tinkling giggles of Alice and Rosalie. Emmett was just looking between me and Jake with a look of confusion making him look a bit like a puzzled puppy.

Jake huffed in defeat shaking his massive head causing his russet fur to ripple with the shockwaves of his movement.

"Err.... Holly, would you like to explain to them? What happened..." Carlisle was really asking me if I wanted to go through it all over again.

I sighed and stepped to join him in front of the wolves. They were focussed on me now, paying attention to the important stuff.

Time to tell my story. Again.

It was getting tiring having to explain everything to everyone. At least this would be the last time. Once the wolves understood there was no one left to explain it to.

"Hello, ummm so I didn't change completely. Something in my blood stopped the venom. So now I'm a freaky deaky weird mix of venom and blood. A walking talking lava lamp. I'm pretty much as fast and as strong as a vampire. My senses are marginally weaker. Thing is I can eat human food, in fact I actually really like it, good thing I don't gain weight. As for drinking blood I don't have to but it makes me stronger and sorry if it disgusts you but it tastes pretty damn good. I don't have a thirst just an itch but that's only when I'm hunting. Humans don't smell yummy, I'm not venomous and finally I'm pretty hard to injure and immortal. Any questions?" I heard Emmett chuckle at my quick explanation. I couldn't be bothered to go into all the details. I was sick of the curious looks and shocked expressions. I just wanted to be normal Holly without all the questions.

"Before any questions are asked we should warn you that although Holly is a hybrid this changes if her temper get's the better of her. Her blood and the venom are separate because of the anomaly that prevented her from changing completely. However when angry they combine and Holly changes into something a lot closer to a newborn vampire than a human." As Carlisle explained I grimaced at the memory.

"Does this happen often?" Sam studied me with new concern in his dark eyes.

"I promise I don't lose it a lot. Something just triggered it" Edward cleared his voice nervously behind me and I couldn't help the smile. He had realised what I was capable of and it was so much more than what human Holly could do.

"Do you know why her blood stopped the venom? Why she's different to the other humans?" We had agreed not to tell the wolves about the portal. There was no need and it would only put them at risk.

"She's just unique," Carlisle smiled down at me giving me a hug. He seemed so proud; I returned the hug and left him, turning to Edward at my side. He had come forward during my little speech and I was glad to have him close. He was my little bit of sanctuary.

Looking at the wolves I could see their eyes watch me as I snuggled into Edward's side.

"I take it she will be sticking around then" Sam looked pointedly at Edward hand around my waist. Carlisle smiled as he answered.

"Yes, she'll be wherever we are"

"Are you willing to sign the treaty?" Sam held out the scroll. It was battered and stained. Age showing on its fine parchment surface. It felt surreal to be signing the treaty that had been at the forefront of the saga. Then again when was I going to stop being amazed at being included in this world? It was my life now not some fantasy.

I took the pen from Sam's waiting hand.

Holly Jules Cullen

My name marked the page and it felt right to use my new name officially.

As soon as I had signed the scroll disappeared, back into Sam's closed hand.

He shook Carlisle's hand once again.

"See you around"

"Tell Billy I said hello and that I hope they're all well" Carlisle said. I didn't worry about understanding, it wasn't important right now.

"I will. It's been interesting to meet you Holly." He shook my hand and marvelled at the texture and warmth. I smiled at him assuring him it was normal.

"Thanks, you too. I hope Emily is happy." Sam looked surprised at what I had said but let it slide. They knew vampires had certain gifts even if mine had nothing to do with my knowledge of them.

I watched them leave through the trees, slipping into the now darkness like wraiths.

"Urg please take me home, there has been waaay too much excitement this weekend." Edward chuckled and we took off with the rest of the Cullen's back home. To my bed, finally.

* * * * *

"Ok people into the car! Come on! School to get to!" Alice was way too chirpy this morning. I wish I didn't know why but it was hard to ignore the sound of her and Jasper last night. I had gotten used to Rose and Em but Jasper tended to flood the house with lust during his and Alice's 'fun time'. It made sleeping next to Edward a little difficult.

"Woo school" My voice was flat and Emmett ruffled my hair grinning, earning him a glare that could rival Rosalie.

It wasn't that I was grouchy or tired, not that I could really get properly tired more emotionally exhausted. I had slept fine but thanks to Jaspers little explosion I had spent the night sexually frustrated and now had to spend the whole day trying to keep my hands off the God that sat in the driver's seat.

Bad times.

"Sorry Holly" Jasper's apology wasn't heartfelt enough for me to accept it.

It was ok for the rest of them they didn't have a pissed teenage girl to tip toe around. They wouldn't have to deal with Bella when the shit hit the fan and she finally figured me and Edward out.

Finally they could actually get physical; I had principals to take into consideration. I refused to screw around with Edward till we were a proper couple. Once that first date was out the way I couldn't give a damn about what we did but until then I had to keep myself controlled.

Knowing my luck Edward would hold out on me till marriage anyway. The thought alone sent me to the point of despair. How would I cope?

The sly part of me revelled in the idea that there was a lot of fun to be had without breaking his rules.

I smirked to myself and Edward's eyes caught mine in the rear view mirror, questioning me.

_I'm fantasising, nothing you need to be concerned with_

I thought before giving him a wink and watching his face break into his crooked smile that made my heart melt every time.

We rounded the corner into school; faces still stared as I got out the car and so I slipped back into the irritated mood I had started with before Edward's smile had brightened my day. Whispers still rushed around me as we walked in the entrance but this time it wasn't about my dangerous and dirty past. It was about how I was 'obviously screwing' Edward.

_If only_

I trudged off to English, Edward walking silently beside me.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he seemed to concentrating very hard and that sparked my curiosity.

"I'm fantasising so nothing for you to be concerned with" He flashed me his crooked grin and we entered the class room.

The teacher talked about the Shakespearian play we were studying and I sat patiently making notes. I liked Shakespeare, maybe not as an easy read but it interested me. Still I couldn't get out of the frustrated mood I had woken up in. Life, as it was now, was starting to make me irritable. I hated the way I was bound by other people's opinions, feelings, and actions. I wanted to break free but my stupid mind wouldn't let me take the step to freedom because I knew it would be like moving a cracked mirror. One little movement and the whole thing would break down into a big awkward and nasty mess.

I got lost in my petulant mood, oblivious to the majority of the lesson until half way through the lesson I saw a note land on my desk.

_Heylo_

Edward's elegant handwriting seemed funny mixed with our made up greeting.

I smiled and wrote back. I didn't understand why we couldn't just talk but I played along with Edward. I hadn't passed notes since the first year of high school. It was cute

**Heylo to you too, what is this in aid of?**

_Does it have to have a purpose?_

**Yes, I liked to have a reason for wasting ink. I only have one pen so when this one dies I've had it. I'll have to write in blood and that could be a little disturbing don't you think?**

He chuckled softly.

_So you believe an interaction with me to be a waste of ink? I'm hurt Holly. _:(

I laughed a little at his drawing of his hurt face. I had to cover it with a cough when the teacher looked up.

**Don't you :( me, it's hardly fair to guilt me into passing notes.**

_I can try_ :P_ as you know I can be very persuasive_ ;)

I smiled at his use of emoticons, my man certainly knew how to keep up with the times. He gave me a wink causing me to blush.

**You're a bad influence. X**

_Maybe you should have stayed away; it seems a crime to corrupt such an 'innocent' young girl_

I snickered, innocent my arse. He was the 118 year old virgin. I might not have done the full monty but I could guarantee I had gotten more action.

**Perhaps but staying away from you would be hard. Being that I love you and all. Well that and your room is right opposite mine.**

_Yes your room position is definitely one of the many reasons why I love you too, and that is why I want to know, why your beautiful smile isn't lighting your face today?_

I read the message and felt my lips curving up into the smile he wanted, just at the romance of the situation. I turned to see him beaming at me completely oblivious to the surveillance like glances the teacher was passing over us.

**Just a little bit of harmless frustration, that's all.**

His eyebrows furrowed when he read my little note and I sighed heavily. There wasn't anything he could really do to get rid of it. I was just frustrated at the situation with Bella making the relationship between me and Edward to become full of even more frustration through having to hide our emotions in school, top that off with the sexual frustration caused by Jasper's gift last night and I was left feeling like my body had an irritable itch I couldn't scratch.

Another note sailed onto my desk

_I think I can fix that_

Another sigh left me, if only.

**How exactly?**

I tossed the note onto his desk in a swift motion and waited patiently resting my head on my hand as I propped myself up through the boredom of the lesson.

The teacher noticed him writing out the next note and I swiftly hid the previous ones in my bag. Edward looked up at the teacher innocently. His hand clutching the tiny scrap of paper.

"give it to me please" Mr Burns' voice was full of authority but playful. He was going to enjoy this humiliation. I just hoped Edward hadn't written anything too embarrassing.

The classroom was silent, each student stared at Edward.

The great Edward Cullen getting in trouble.

It would go down in school history.

"So Edward, was my class not stimulating enough for you?" Mr Burns wandered up to the front of the classroom so Edward would have to speak up to reply. Teachers and their tricks for increasing the shame.

"That was not the case at all, sir, it was very interesting ." Edwards voice was pure velvet and I heard one girl sigh.

"Would you mind if I read out to the class what you found more interesting?" Edward shrugged and Mr Burns unfolded the note, clearing his throat.

He raised his eyebrow at Edward who merely turned to smile at me.

"Well Holly I believe this question is aimed at you rather than Me. Edward would like to know 'Would you like to go out sometime?'" Mr Burns looked at me and I blushed.

Girls were glaring daggers whilst the guys seemed a little disheartened. Looks like the truth has come out. And to be honest I couldn't be happier.

_You knew he would read it didn't you_

Edward flashed his signature crooked smile and I melted inside. It was weirdly romantic that he had planned it all out, to a degree.

"well Holly, don't keep poor Edward waiting"

"Yeah, I'd love to"

_I love you_

I thought as I looked at Edward through my lashes and he beamed sending me a final note so quickly Mr Burns wouldn't stand a chance of seeing it.

_I know x_

My face split into a mega watt smile and I saw Edward visibly relax when he saw he had, in fact, managed what I thought was impossible. He had found the perfect cure to eliminate the frustration that built in me.

Bella was soon going find out, we could start acting like a normal couple. Plus there was the added bonus of getting to spend time with Edward in a relaxed private environment.

"Well class looks like we've got our first class couple, how wonderful." Mr Burns beamed sarcastically and went back to his lecture.

I spent the rest of the lesson in bliss, glad to have everything out in the open.

Well, almost.

* * * * *

"Oh my God!! You and Edward Cullen! You have to tell me everything that happens. I'm so jealous, I mean I know I've got Mike but it's Edward! You're so lucky. But I thought you didn't like him like that?" Jess had jumped me at the beginning of French.

"Umm well I'll just go on the date and see what happens. He's very sweet and he's mature so it might work out" I tried to keep my voice unsure, I didn't need to work at the excitement it was there naturally.

I had loved the way he had asked me and now I couldn't wait to find out where our date would be. Even if we were doing it all a bit backwards I still got thrills of how it would feel to be a real couple.

French flew by thanks to the high I was experiencing, but next it was biology.

Edward met me at the door and I caught the 'aw' Jessica sighed before she left.

"It seems we are the talk of the school" Edward walked beside me as always through the corridor. People raptly watched us and I heard ever whisper they expelled. Some were happy for me, others despised the fact I had stolen the schools most eligible bachelor. It was mainly the girls who gossiped but I caught a few boys. My favourite one was passed from Connor to Tyler.

"I can't believe he gets to tap that, I should've made a move, Ty"

"Trust me she's way out your league. Remember the rule, always aim 2 lower than your number. So you're looking for like...a.2"

"Cheers Ty, way to boost my mood"

"Hey least you're a 4, Eric's a 2 he stands no chance"

I chuckled at their conversation. It reminded me of how me and my girls used to banter with each other and gossip about all the insignificant things that happened.

I missed them but I still had a few weeks till they would be home from University and I could see them again.

Till then I'd just count down the days.

I ignored Bella as me and Edward settled into our seats. He still tensed at her scent, he always would. I somehow would accept the pull he has to her.

He said he hadn't slipped off to watch over her since my change, so I knew the only time he'd seen her was on the study session or at school. I was proud he was winning against the monster.

It was tense between the 3 of us, and throughout the lesson the tension grew to a point you could probably cut it with a knife.

When the lesson grew to a close I knew what needed to be done, I wondered if Edward had the intention to do it.

I got up and made my way to the door my bag in hand. I felt Edward follow.

_Talk to her. Just clear the air. I'll see you at lunch._

I heard him sigh and as I walked down the corridor I heard him start the conversation that would finally set out relationship free from the shackles that were Bella's affection for Edward.

"Hello Bella I hope you enjoyed your weekend"

"It was fun. But that's not the reason you're talking to me, is it" Her voice was strong and I had to respect her for that. She was being brave.

I left their conversation as it faded from my hearing. It would be best that I didn't hear it. It was private between Bella and Edward. It was the end of their friendship as it was now. If their relationship was even classed as a friendship. I wasn't entirely sure what it had been during those dark months I was without him.

I couldn't give Bella, Edward, but I could give her this time alone with him. Even if it isn't as happy an occasion as it once was supposed to be.

* * * * *

When the school day finally ended, me and Edward were watched closely by all those around us. They stared as he opened my door to allow me into the Volvo. All except Bella Swan, who sat red eyed in her Chevy. Her face was stained with drying tears, her expressive chocolate eyes showing nothing but anguish.

I had caused that.

I could blame no one but myself.

I started to question every decision I ever made concerning Bella Swan, was there any way I could have had Edward but not hurt her? Did I handle everything wrong?

When I really thought about it I could see faults in my actions, hiding mine and Edward's relationship was probably not really for Bella's benefit. I couldn't deny that although hiding our feelings hadn't been a barrel of laughs it had given me the time I needed to settle into this life and given me the chance to have people develop an opinion of me without having my relationship with Edward effecting what they thought of me.

In this moment of contemplation I realised what a selfish fool I had been. I had thought that I was protecting her feelings but really I was just giving her more time to let her feelings for Edward build. Letting them reach higher heights and that meant the fall for her was so much more painful.

How could I have been so stupid as to think that I was doing the right thing?

Why did I continue to make the wrong decision? Continue to think that I know what's best when really I have no right to decide for other people.

I did it when I thought Edward should be with Bella and had nagged him into talking to her.

I did it when I left Edward, leaving him to pick up the pieces of what was left. Making him question himself and his actions when it was me who really had been in the wrong and blind to how I felt.

And now I had done it again, decided that Bella being in the dark was for the best and like those other decisions it hadn't worked the way I thought it would. It probably only increased the amount of hurt she would feel.

The only silver lining was that now me and Edward were out in the open and Bella would have the knowledge and finality she would need to move on.

I wondered how long it would be before she let Jake brighten her world. I hoped it wasn't long. I didn't want the guilt of watching her become a shell in front of me, even if the fault was only partly my own. Although there was part of me that screamed that I was completely to blame.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: So far the update schedule is working (kind of) :D woo! This chapter is a few hours early for those of you in the US but techincally it's just past midnight in the UK, so I figured it still counts a sticking to schedule.**

**Keep the EPOV requests coming if you have them. Either message me or leave your request in a review on the EPOV exerts story.**

**This week was truly traumatic. The laptop this story was saved on mysteriously decided to destroy it's own hardrive and I basically lost everything. Many tears were shed. However after a lot of praying (to whichever God controls technology) and a few deals with the devil, the laptop lives and everything is now safe and sound. So panic over :D and I hope this chapter is satisfactory.**

Bella didn't come into school for the next few days. It worried me but I could understand if she was hurting. She had just lost a whole fantasy future within a few short moments. Even though she didn't have as many expectations as 'book Bella' had built, she would still have lost the dream of that first kiss, first date, first 'I love you' and to her the fact each of those things would be from Edward would mean they were worth so much more than if they came from any of the mere mortal boys in the school, whether she knew the hidden difference between Edward, and the others, or not. To her it didn't matter because in her eyes he was definitely something more. Something otherworldly, angelic, and inhuman, but she only thought all this because of his beauty. She hadn't known Edward to the extent that I did. She didn't know the secret he hid and yet she still felt a connection that, to her, resembled a yellow brick road to love and happiness. Unfortunately to her I was the evil Wicked Witch of the West come to ruin the journey. Minus the flying monkeys, of course. Although the imagery of Ashleigh filling that role was rather amusing.

When I really thought about it I had to wonder how it was that Edward managed to encourage a girl to build such deep feelings for him with just the smallest gesture as saying hello or sharing a few short words. Bella had fallen for Edward after hardly any contact, both in the book and in this reality. I had to wonder whether it was purely because he was attractive and therefore at first an intense infatuation tricked the girl into believing it was love at first sight, or whether it was a vibe he gave off that aided his inner predator. If this was true then could a girl ever really trust herself to understand her own feelings around him? If he was capable, consciously or not, to draw her in and intensify the feelings she had for him just by being near her. How would she ever stand a chance to really think if loving him was what she wanted?

How would she ever escape from that power he had over her?

I knew it was possible to deny the natural instinct to be near him, to stop myself from sinking completely into everything he was. I had done it for those months we had been just friends. All those moments when I registered the attractive appearance and the fiery intensity that could have made me do anything he wanted. I had known what he was and known the attractive traits her had at his arsenal, and because of this I hadn't fallen completely to his will. However that wasn't to say that I didn't fall in love with him against my original choice. I had wanted him to be with Bella but every second I spent with him drew me in closer to the point that the love I felt for him was a pressure building in me. It was there but it was me that made the choice to release the valve and let it flood through me.

I may have been powerless to stop the attraction and emotion from building but it was me who made the decision to let it become a true part of who I was.

Unlike Bella, and all the other girls that are oblivious to Edward's secret, I didn't unknowingly fall for the predatory. I gave myself completely to the man behind the alluring mask.

The fact he's irresistible was just a personality perk.

* * * * *

Every muscle sang with anticipation.

Each nerve in my body sparked with excitement.

A thousand butterflies fluttered in my stomach.

All these sensations culminated to make my whole body filled with an explosive energy and they were all because of the buoyancy I felt for mine and Edward's coming first date.

He still hadn't told me what we were doing but the mystery kept me guessing and only built the feverish thrill that had consumed me ever since he asked. I couldn't decide what I was most looking forward to, the date or the end of it. That moment when the line I had drawn could be disregarded and I could do whatever I wanted without feeling like I was ignoring who I was. The constraints I had placed on me, and our relationship, could be cast off and lost to the past because we would have a future that would have no limits. Time wouldn't even play a pressuring role because we would have an infinite number of tomorrows.

That first date would be our true beginning and all I knew was that it was happening tonight.

"Holly, for god's sake just stop jiggling about otherwise your hair is going to be a complete mess!" Rose was putting it in rollers since she was in charge of my appearance. I didn't understand why I had to get all dressed up but apparently going on a date means you have to make an effort, even if it's with the love of your life.

"I'm not jiggling, I'm nervously shifting." I tried to settle my body back into the antique, velvet, vanity chair as her fingers nimbly sifted through my thick brown hair.

"Well whatever you call it, stop it. I'm in control of your looks tonight, so you don't want to get on my nerves. Kay?" I knew Rose was just joking but I relaxed anyway. No need to test her limits.

"Much better"

A few more minutes of silence and hair rolling, and Rose spun the chair to do my makeup.

"So how did you get Alice to let you do the prep work instead of her? I thought playing dress up was her favourite game" Rose smirked and nodded in response.

"It wasn't easy, trust me, but she was a little preoccupied"

"Too preoccupied to play dress up. I didn't know she liked anything more than attacking people with cosmetics?" Rosalie chuckled lightly and focussed on sweeping some form of eye shadow across my lids. I couldn't see the colour clearly but the sparkling particles made the air around us twinkle like fairy dust.

"It did take quite a lot of persuasion on my part, but she soon saw she was most needed elsewhere and that little pixie just loves a little power trip." I smiled at Rosalie's comment. It was very much a fact that although Alice was petite she possessed a certain dominance that wasn't easy to ignore. Everything about her was larger than life and in her case so much larger than her actual body.

I sat pondered what Rose had actually said till she finally declared me finished. As always when Rose or Alice made me over I felt like someone had switched regular Holly with some extraordinary beauty in front of me. Rose had tamed my waves into soft angel curls that flowed down to my chest.

I checked the time Edward had said our date was at 7, that perfect time when the sun's light started to dim and the sky became caught between night and day.

_Twilight_

I thought with a chuckle, I figured I'd never really lose my inner fan girl no matter what happens. My love of the story started this whole adventure and I wasn't ever going to forget that.

It was 6.45 when I finally stepped into my outfit. It wasn't anything fancy since I didn't know where we were going and I had no way of knowing what to wear. I'd stuck with a simple dark turquoise silk top with a v neck. It skimmed my torso and tied at the back pulling it in at my petite waist. I put it with dark blue skinnies and flat pretty pumps. It wasn't extravagant or particularly luxurious but it was nice enough for me to feel good in it and as Rianna had once told me, if you feel good in what you wear then you'll look good. Apparently her theory had something to do with showing off your natural confidence.

I did a twirl for Rose and smiled when I got her nod of approval, just as I had done with Ash whenever I was going out. The difference between Ashleigh's nod or approval and Rosalie's, was that with Ashleigh's I needed her approval. I didn't used to have the confidence in my appearance unless she clarified I looked nice. I was never sure of myself. Now, however, I didn't rely on Rosalie's approval to make me feel secure in how I looked. It was just a way for me to build my confidence further. I was already happy in myself but now, like any other girl, I enjoyed showing off. I had gained the self esteem that meant I enjoyed having people's eyes on me in admiration.

I bounced over to give her a quick hug as a thank you before I bolted downstairs. I was expecting to see Edward standing waiting for me but instead I was greeted by Jasper as he stood patiently smiling next the banister.

I could see Emmett grinning behind him as he handed me a note.

"If he's cancelled on me, bad Holly is coming out to play" Emmett seemed to like that idea but Jasper just chuckled and waited for me to open the small piece of folded white paper.

Go outside to the field_._ It was written in Edward's graceful black handwriting, perfectly etched into the smooth surface.

_So he's playing hide and seek._ I thought with a thrill. There was something about playing this little game that heightened my excitement further. I liked that there was some mystery and also that he hadn't stuck to the traditional. Not that I wouldn't have loved whatever he came up with but there was something about this that just seemed to fit. Who I was, who he was, our relationship. He knew I enjoyed an adventure so it made perfect sense that our first date would include a miniature version.

I raced through the back windows to follow his instruction.

"Have fun" Jasper sent after me and I heard Alice as she giggled whilst she ran past me to his side.

"He better have you back before midnight, Missy, otherwise I'm going to have to kick his ass" Emmett bellowed and I laughed at his mock parental tone, but my laughter soon came to an abrupt stop when I took in the gorgeous sight before me.

Lanterns lit the field in soft lighting as they formed a narrow path across it. I could see them as they travelled into the darkness of the forest creating small glowing spots in the usual pitch black woods. I was glad I had jeans on because this could get messy.

Another note was attached to the banister of the back porch.

Follow the lanterns.

As soon as I read it I rushed to complete my task, following each soft little light through the dense darkness of the forest. They blurred as I ran forming a singular line like a wire pulling me towards him.

I didn't know how long I had been running it could have been seconds or minutes but I reached a small building. Nothing more than 4 rickety walls and a roof. The surrounding darkness was pierced by blocks of light that glowed out through the empty windows. I could see the roses that climbed up the structures walls, growing into the interior. Their sweet floral scent heavy in the evening air.

He wasn't here. I'd known that before I'd even reached this place. His scent was just a faint memory but it was enough for me to know I was meant to stop here.

I stepped through the threshold and gasped at the sight of a beautiful shimmering frosted, pink dress that hung in the centre of the room. Even on the hanger it looked fluid and luxurious. I ran my fingertips gently over the fabric and felt it slip across my skin like water.

I read the note that hung round the hanger.

Just a little gift, I was hoping you would wear it.

I followed his request and sighed as the light material slid over my body. It sat lightly against my skin as if it was barely there. I looked at my appearance in the old marked mirror that stood against the rustic, cracked wall.

The neckline was a subtle v not dipping too low but elegantly flattering. I swayed gently looking at how the dress moved with my body. It followed the shape of my figure perfectly and fell in a shimmering pool of silk at my feet trailing behind me as I walked round the room. It was modest but the slit up the side made me feel incredibly sexy.

My Holly bracelet still hung on my wrist but that was the only jewellery I wore. I looked to my feet and realised that my pumps weren't exactly setting off the whole outfit.

There was nothing else in the room except for my now folded pile of clothes.

I would just have to run barefoot. He knew I loved that.

I stepped out the small cabin ruins and sighed at the soft cool feel of the ground on my feet.

I caught sight of another lantern 20 metres to the north along with the subtle trail of his scent. I didn't want to ruin my dress but I wanted to run, to get to him as fast as possible. I lifted the dress holding the trail in my hand as I leapt and weaved through the forest. It wasn't long before I smelt him, the fire crackling and smouldering through my body just at the thought of his arms around me.

I slowed to a walk, no matter how much I wanted to be with him, I didn't want to rush my senses. I wanted to appreciate every single sensory stimulus that this place was offering.

I could smell fire, honey, wax, water, wet stone. I had never been in this part of the Cullen land; I knew that because I didn't recognise the scents and smells. They didn't correspond to any place I had been.

Soft piano music drifted through the forest to my ears and I smiled when I recognised that my melody was playing out through the otherwise bustling quiet of the forest at night.

I could make out a clearing just beyond the next cluster of trees.

I skipped towards it in desperation, he was close and even though we had only been a part a few short hours I missed his presence.

My dress dropped round my feet, slipping over the forest floor and glowing in the soft twilight haze.

I peaked round the final tree and gasped at the sight.

Tea lights floated on a small pool to one side of the clearing, whilst pastel coloured flowers and grass blanketed the small crescent shape that remained. A tall cliff rose on one side of the pool, water trickling down the slate plinths making a light tinkling noise as each drop hit the stone. Lilies and rose vines climbed the stone, their roots clinging to the cracks of the wet dark stone whilst their scent drifted in a subtle manner adding a light floral dimension to the magical air of this place.

A wooden floating platform lay attached to a rope that connected it to the dry land. Cushions lay scattered on the platform transforming it from wood and nails to a mass of sumptuous dark purple and gold fabrics. Edward stood facing away from me in a simple outfit of black suit pants with a white dress shirt the sleeves rolled up the way I always loved. His hair was in perfect disarray whilst the near still breeze played idly with the ends.

His dim glowing form turned to face me holding a single pink lily. My favourite flower.

I stood stunned, the beauty of the scene before me was unbelievable. I couldn't have imagined such a magical setting could be created.

"You look beautiful Holly. As always" He took my hand whilst I held the lily in my other, taking in its scent as it blossomed into the air. He slowly led me to the platform, over the soft blanket of grass and flowers. I could hear my dress trail gliding over the surface like mist.

I had yet to find words to put what I felt into a sentence. Thank you just didn't seem enough.

He lifted me gracefully onto the floating platform and it didn't wobble an inch. As he pushed off from the edge of the small shore I watched as the clearing drifted around me. I sat watching the twinkling candles as they drifted on the water's surface, giving off a slight aroma of honey and vanilla. The water was crystal clear and I could clearly see the dark slate bottom that reflected the light from the tea lights that drifted metres above it. The whole pool of water refracted the light to make ripples of gold flow through the pond whilst the slate shards and pebbles glittered in shades of silver, blue and violet due to the darkening nights sky above us.

Edward's soft piano songs continued to drift through the air as if this was just a dream.

Just one marvellously romantic dream.

"Holly?" He was obviously concerned I still hadn't spoken.

I didn't hesitate as I leant in to place a single soft kiss on his lips.

"Thank you, this is so much more than I could have ever imagined. How did you even come up with this?"

"Alice's controlling nature had a lot to do with it" Edward smiled and I chuckled a little. I should have known Alice wouldn't be able to resist the chance to plan such a big grand gesture. It would explain how she had caved at Rosalie's persuasion.

"Well I have to say this is definitely the best first date I've ever been on. It's incredible."

"I wanted tonight to be special, after everything we've been through I wanted this to be the first of a million happy memories. The start of our future" Edward's eyes shone as he sat beside me.

I smiled in contentment. How does life get any better than this?

"Tonight means more to me than you'll ever know, Edward. Words wouldn't be enough to tell you what it feels like to have this experience"

We drifted in comfortable silence for a few minutes. I just enjoyed the soft environment that surrounded us. Everything was so soothing and gentle.

Complete serenity.

"For someone who's never dated you certainly know how to do it in style." I smiled at Edward as he watched me. I was lounging on the large volume of cushions whilst he lay with his head propped up by his elbow. The picture of perfect ease.

"I'm glad you think so. Being with you just seems so natural. I don't have to hide anything. I can't express how much that freedom has changed me." His hand reaches for mine and I grasped it tightly, increasing the wonderful glow that filled his gaze.

"Have you really stayed away from the female race all this time?" I couldn't help my curiosity. I knew ex talk was generally a dating no-no but I couldn't understand how Edward could be so good at being in a relationship and yet have no past experience.

"I've never had a real interest in anyone although that hasn't stopped them pursuing me." He smirked and ran his hand through his hair with subconscious nerves. No doubt he had some interesting memories of various women and their methods of pursuit. I could only imagine the lengths at which some may have gone to get his attention or, most likely, his body.

"yeah I bet. How will I ever cope with all the competition?" I joked but there was a tiny part of me that truly wondered if jealousy was to be a constant presence in my life from now on. I had never been a particularly jealous person but this new life came with feelings that were so much stronger than before.

I looked down at our joined hands for a second, just contemplating if I would find fury or humour in my emotions when a woman took a little longer than usual to look at Edward.

Edward's hand released my own and his light touch gently tilted my head back up so my eyes would meet his.

"Holly, surely you know that there's no such competition. You're the only one I'll ever love." His fingers stroked down my cheek and glided across my neck.

I shivered and shifted from the contact.

My dress flowed out around my legs exposing the ivory skin down the entire length of my left leg.

Edward's eyes took a lazy journey along the length of my body as I rested opposite him. I saw his eyes briefly darken just a fraction. I felt my heart fly at that change in shade even if they returned to normal in milliseconds.

"I know. After all I'm irresistible" I joked and he grinned that wonderful crooked smile whilst nodding.

"Truly. It's really not fair for you to be so enticing" Again his eyes wavered into the realms of darkened butterscotch and honey as he inched a little closer to where I lay.

" Can I ask you something?" His eyes flickered but he suppressed his amused expression. It seemed my ability to distract myself so easily entertained him.

"I realise you've never been in love but have you really never been in lust? Just for a second or fleeting moment" The words tumbled out of me because they had been in my mind for a while now.

I could understand that no one had captured his heart but surely someone had captured his attention. Just for a split moment. Perhaps during his first few years as a vampire when all the feelings are amplified and the mind is primarily controlled by primal urges rather than personal choices. Surely in that crazy time a girl caused his immense imagination to run wild. The more depraved side of my mind briefly wondered how he would ever have found a release from sexual frustration without having a girl in his mind to act out his fantasy and help him find his relief.

I felt the blush colour my cheeks lightly when I thought about that last part. Did Edward even use such a basic means of self gratification? Would he find it repulsive? Given the time he was born in and the tales told to discourage such an act, I could understand if he saw it as a negative or sign of weakness. I had been around enough guy talk to completely accept their extra-curricular activities. They certainly didn't seem put off by the old classic line ' too much self 'loving' makes you blind'. If that was truly the case every single guy I had ever met would need a blind dog to get around.

Edward stroked the pad of his thumb across my blush and I leaned into his palm feeling the marvellous contrast between the heat on my cheeks and the cool smooth texture of his skin. His eyes were fixed on my lips as he lightly traced my bottom lip and answered my question.

"Never, I haven't ever experienced what I did when I first smelt your scent. Nothing had ever seemed so intoxicating. So all consuming."

His voice was definite and it instantly settled my questions of his past love life. He was completely innocent.

Perhaps too innocent.

I decided I wanted to have some dirty, sinful fun with his spotless, virginal mind.

"Really? Never? Are you sure you just didn't know the symptoms."

He shook his head but I continued.

"How can you be so sure you've never felt it even if it was a diluted version, just a flicker of instinct that your mind didn't really acknowledge? That hot heady feeling you get whenever that persons near. The fire that licks through you glowing at the very centre of your body." I drew my hand down my neck trailing it lightly down the middle of my body. His eyes followed enraptured by my movements. I didn't know if it was the environment or the confidence I had in our relationship but I felt desirable, seductive and bold.

I continued to talk whilst my light fingertips trailed back up to dance along my collarbone.

"The way your breathing hitches and shivers just at their touch." I was locked on his eyes watching him take in my every move. His breathing deep as he took in my scent.

"The way electricity rushes through your limbs at the anticipation." His tongue licked his lips in the most divine temptation.

"Your mind becomes delirious with need and hazes over, blocking out all reason." I leaned just a little closer whispering the words since my voice was lost to the desire of the moment.

"All you see is that person."

"All you feel is the tension before their touch." We were so close and I tensed as his hand shifted closer to the hem of my dress where it still spilled across the platform. The soft moonlight above us made the pale pink seem like molten silver.

"The heat of their eyes on your skin" My voice had no strength to it as I whispered in his ear. His scent swirled around me and every word I had said had new meaning to it.

I stopped talking and the electricity between us was almost an actual current running in the air. Our bodies were unbearably close. His mouth sent cold pants of breath onto my warm skin.

I lurched back and he smirked with molten toffee eyes. Stuck to my skin.

"You've never felt like that?"

His small laugh was husky.

"Your teasing me Holly, I hope you're prepared for the consequences" He edged carefully towards me, every movement he came closer made me back down. He hovered over me with that delicious smirk still playing on his lips, as my back pressed into the plush cushions on the platform.

"Me? A tease?...never" I matched his smirked.

"No perhaps tease was the incorrect choice of words. You, my love, are the most sinful temptation" His lips lingered mere millimetres from my own.

"Well, Edward, they do say good things come to those who wait. You've lasted 100 years resisting temptation. I'm sure you can resist me" I smirked. I was toying with him and I loved the sexual power that rushed through me.

"I think I've tested my patience enough."

At first his kiss was tender and sweet, it fit the setting perfectly.

But quickly his kiss became urgent and needful.

When he sensed I needed to breathe he would work his way with open-mouthed kisses back to my ear or down my neck. My hands were itching to hold him to me.

"Edward," I rasped between kisses. Pulling his body closer to me, I wanted to feel the weight of his firm body on top of me. To feel every defined part of his body holding me prisoner against him.

"Holly." His voice was husky and low, but he still didn't shift his weight. Still resting to the side. Still just a little bit too far away.

He ran his hand up along my bare leg firmly before skimming over my hips. His flat palm ran up my ribcage barely touching the edge of my breasts.

He kissed me repeatedly, sucking on my bottom lip, running kisses on my face, ears, neck, collarbones, and shoulders, bare from the thin-strapped dress that felt invisible at the touch of his cool hands.

Of all the times I'd dreamt of this night. I had never imagined it could be like this. The way he tongue traced the shape of my lips was exquisite.

I felt him move, hovering directly over me. His body pressed me into the hard surface of the platform but I felt nothing but a slightly firm pressure. My eyes met his and they were darker than they'd ever been. Not pitch black but the pupils had dilated to a point they almost merged with the brown obsidian.

His body formed a cage around me and I thrilled at the protective and possessive position. I was his and always would be.

He was still hovering above me, watching as I took in the glorious sight of him above me.

I ran my hand up to his collar pulling him down towards me.

He kissed me roughly, moaning into my mouth and I reciprocated as I tightened my hold on him till every sublime inch of him was flush against my figure. I luxuriated in the cold fire that burned at each of the touches he danced across my body. The fabric of the dress was just like another skin, thin and unobtrusive of the sensitivity that was created by his fingertips.

He was slowly rocking his body into mine and I moaned when I felt his arousal was gloriously obvious. I loved the effect I had on him, but the feelings he was sparking in me with his simple movements were enough to send me into a haze. Each time his hips rolled over mine I cursed the fact we were both fully clothed, that there were fabrics between us dulling the exquisite feel of him and stopping me from diving over the edge into the unknown world of pure intimacy. Skin on Skin.

The platform wobbled on the water's surface as every kiss he gave shifted its balance. Even in my lust riddled state I could spare a moment to giggled at the situation.

_Talk about making waves._

He chuckled, but didn't stop his attention to my body.

Every kiss intoxicated me to a point I was oblivious to the environment around me. I had adored the setting Edward had created but right now it all paled in comparison to the intense passion I felt building in me, just for Edward. For everything he was, is, and will continue to be for the rest of our eternity.

I broke away from Edward's lips grasping his perfect face in my hands so I could look into the near ebony pools basking in the gold fire that danced in them.

"I just wanted to tell you, I love you. Every single part of who you are and I'm the luckiest girl in existence to have you here with me"

Edward's eyes melted before me into the loving gold I adored. The erotic black sent thrills through my body but his usual gold eyes always shone with his emotions and I treasured each moment my own locked with his.

"Holly, luck had nothing to do with it. It wasn't luck that made me love you. It was everything about who you are."

I smiled as I remembered a quote from Twilight. "So am I your own personal brand of heroin?" I giggled.

His expression flashed with something but it disappeared too quickly. "Holly, you're not my brand of heroin. You're my brand of life. Because of you, I've never felt more human, more alive. I've never known I could be this in love. You are and always will be everything to me. I love you more than words could express, but I will spend eternity showing you."

I let the beautiful words sink through me. I couldn't help the happiness from spilling out and saturating my being. I wasted no time in crashing my lips to his to show just a fraction of the emotion I felt for him.

He was right, words could never fully suffice but I would certainly enjoy resorting to actions.

We were lost once again in our little bubble intertwined in each other's arms. It felt like love glittered in the air around us and channelled through the tenderness he showed as he peppered kisses on every part of my torso that he could reach.

I was in heaven.

And then in a flash he was gone. A loud splash pierced the soft piano music. The platform wobbled dramatically as the loss of his body altered its balance.

We had gotten too close to the edge and due to the passion induced haze, there was no way vampire reactions could have stopped the accident from happening.

The water splattered my dress, as the droplets bounced into the air from the water's surface.

I couldn't stop the loud laughter that erupted from me.

The idea that the mood could change so quickly was hilarious, the image of Edward standing in the shallower water dripping wet was funny but the way his shirt clung to his defined chest wiped away most of the humour.

_I guess a cold plunge was a good idea_

He laughed freely and pulled the platform towards him using the rope attached to it. When it hit the shore he offered his hand and I took it carefully stepping off on to the soft grass. It was pitch darkness except for the soft dimming lights from the candles. We had been out for hours but it had flown by in the heat of the moment.

"Come on let's get home before Emmett sends a search party" He reached out to pick me up to save my dress the run all the way home but I leapt away, earning a confused look.

"You'll get me all wet" He smirked at my comment and cocked his eyebrow.

The memory of me moaning his name from earlier was fired by him into my head.

"I do not mean in the good way". But I still giggled at the memory.

We raced back through the forest.

It felt magical.

My silvery pink billowed out around me as I dodged the trees. The moonlight shone down on us as we weaved around each other, sometimes it would catch Edward's skin and he would shimmer in the most beautiful way.

When he was near me nothing else mattered, nothing else seemed have any real value to it.

The stars. The moon. None of them could hold my attention with their beauty like Edward could when he moved gracefully with me through the forest.

How is it that I got everything I ever wanted but never thought to ask for?

I couldn't believe that a year ago I had been thinking about university, getting a job, trying to find a guy who might be worth having some sort of relationship with and now I was living something so far off that path I don't think my mind could have even dreamt it up.

Whether or not I could have dreamt it up, I knew that it was still a dream come true.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/M: Love the reviews people! :)**

**Also sorry for any confusion regarding the updates that happened on Shooting the Moon. I had a fit of boredom and decided to rework some of the earlier chapters. Just adding in stuff here and there (mainly a whole new chapter), so that's why they were added again and it came up as being updated.**

Me and Edward sat peacefully in the living room. I was lying against him as we both sat reading in comfortable silence. We had become nearly inseparable since our date last night. I smiled lightly when I remembered that I'd managed quite well to keep myself under control. I didn't even drag him into my room as he gave me a kiss goodnight at the door. The way all good dates ended. We usually slept side by side, but we decided we would keep to date tradition, and not see each other till morning. Though I couldn't be sure that he didn't sneak in during my slumber.

The other's in the house had left us to it, giving me this time to really get past the excitement of officially being with Edward, that, and I believed our emotions to be a little too much for Jasper to stomach.

I got a wonderfully light fuzzy feeling in me whenever I thought of what how date meant. He was my, dare I say it, boyfriend. My one and only. Everyone would know it.

For some reason I didn't feel right using the word mate. It seemed so animalistic, and we were still in that temporary phase. I knew we would be together forever, but that didn't mean we had to get married right away or tie ourselves to each other. We would have the whole of eternity for that kind of thing. Right now, I just liked being able to say Edward was my boyfriend and that we were dating.

Then again maybe I just had commitment issues; after all it had taken me months just to say I love you. It took me even longer to feel comfortable having Edward next to me as I slept. And finally I still didn't openly share my sketch book with Edward or play piano for him.

When I really thought about it I was amazed Edward was even happy with someone that kept everything so locked up.

_Must change that._

I sighed in utter contentment. I had the weekend to enjoy just being with Edward no questions asked, before the whole school found out on Monday. Bella already knew we were together, but it would be Monday that we would finally get to act like a real couple. We could finally be ourselves, no rules or pretences.

Well, perhaps a few rules, after all when me and Edward got close it could get a little heated. I doubted that kind of behaviour would be acceptable to the Principal.

I snuggled down deeper into Edward's arms, swimming in his luxurious scent.

This was heaven.

"Hey love birds!" Emmett bounded in and plonked his large form down shifting my feet off the sofa.

_Bye bye peace and quiet_

Edward sighed as I huffed and sat up, missing the feel of Edward's cool strong body immediately.

"Hey Emmy Babes." I grinned at him hoping it would irritate him and he would leave. He just chuckled at my name choice.

_That boy is impossible to annoy. _I sent my thought at Edward and he chuckled.

"So, Rodeo, I was wondering if you fancy a little fun." I grumbled at his little nickname. Ever since that first hunt he'd kept up the cow girl jabs. I dreaded my birthday which was in a few weeks time. I had feeling he was going to go all out.

"What kind of fun?" As soon as I asked the question Edward stiffened behind me and I got a flash from Emmett's memory. My furious stance as I stalked towards Tanya and the look of pure anger as he tried to hold me back.

"No Emmett, I don't like that idea." I turned to Edward with a questioning glance.

"Awww come on, Eddie. I'm bored! Rose is too busy playing mechanic, and Alice is all up in Jazz's face reorganising his wardrobe." Emmett sat pouting, I wondered if he realised he looked a little ridiculous. Although his dimples helped with the power of the pout.

"Edward, what does he want."

Emmett didn't give him a chance to speak.

"WRESTLE!!!" He jumped up and dragged me out to the back porch. Edward followed close behind.

"Seriously, Emmett? You know you'll win I'm only half Vamp. Where's the fun in that?" Edward distracted me a moment by wrapping me up in his arms and nuzzling my neck. He was trying to be sneaky, but I could easily read that he was tense at the idea of me being thrown around by Emmett like some rag doll.

"Come one Holly. You scared of a little competition?"

He had hit my spot. He knew I couldn't resist a little competition. I didn't get to show my competitive side often, but that didn't mean it wasn't there. It would always bubble below my surface whenever I went on a hunt with them or any game we played.

He saw me hesitate.

"Come one Holl's. Tanya would have done it." Emmett's eyebrow rose.

I didn't let the jealousy get to me, so what if Tanya used to wrestle. I could deal with that, in fact a mean part of me liked the idea of her being pummelled by Emmet. Just a very small part.

"In fact Tanya even managed to get..." Emmett started but Edward's warning growl stopped him. That got my curiosity peaked. Emmett grinned.

"Edward to have a go with her" That started it.

The image of Edward and Tanya wrestling filled my brain. The way they would be so close, and their hands all over each other.

It morphed into the image of him and Tanya in the piano room, only this time my mind didn't register them stopping. It taunted me with images of them together. Edward's lips on her skin as she writhed on top of him.

My blood started to boil. I could feel my eyes almost glowing with the heat that was building in me from the venom.

"Come on Rodeo. Let me see that wild side" Emmet smirked and I pushed Edward off me. He didn't put up much of a fight. He knew if I wanted to do something I wouldn't be impressed if he stopped me. In Twilight Bella hadn't shown much of a fight against him. It might have been because she was only human, but whether it was due to her state or not, I wasn't Bella. Edward knew that. He knew I wouldn't bend to his will, and I thought maybe he liked that we were equal in that respect.

Even with the taunting images circling in my brain, I wasn't even close to the anger that consumed me that day I saw Tanya on Edward. I knew I was still part human.

"Emmett, are you sure you want to do this?" Alice asked, she and Jasper had come down to watch. She seemed genuinely worried.

"Sure sprite what she gonna do. She's just a little lava lamp. Got nothing on these bad boys" Emmett flexed his 'guns' and ran backwards to the centre of the field. I followed him slowly.

I didn't want to lose, but at the moment I was nowhere near angry enough. I was way too human to really cause Emmett to have a proper competition.

I turned to look at Jasper, just one little wave of anger that's all I needed to get me started. I could feel the blood boiling under my surface, the images of Tanya and Edward running through my mind.

"Jazzles, would you give a girl a hand here. I think Em needs to be taught a lesson." Jasper grinned, and I was hit with pure fury. I let it soak through my skin.

The venom rushed through my veins, lighting every cell on fire. That wonderful rush of power and exhilarating senses swelled in me.

I could feel my eyes darken to a dark midnight blue, my skin hardened. I felt like my muscles were made of electric wire just fizzing to be used.

I took in a deep breath, the full rich flavours hitting my tongue. I could see every tiny shift of weight Emmett made even though before he had seemed stone still.

I took one last look back at Jasper, Alice and Edward standing on the porch. Edward seemed worried but I flashed him a grin. The fire was still pulsing through me.

"Come to papa, girlie." Emmet planted his feet and I growled at his confidence. He was going down.

I flew at him, invisible to human eyes and just a blur to vampire ones. I didn't really know what I was doing, but I remembered what Jasper had told the Cullen's in the Twilight saga. I ducked, and weaved coming at Emmett from different sides. He flew around me grasping at my limbs, but failing as I slipped from his grasp. His large body supplied his power, but it hindered his ability to really move in the same way as me.

He did an unexpected move and bound my arms, bundling me up before hurling me at one of the many large trees that lined the far end of the Cullen's field. I felt the trunk snapping under the weight of my solid body slamming into it. It should have hurt. Hell it should have killed me if I was human, but I felt no pain. I did however hear Edward's snarls at what Emmett had done, and I looked to see him being held back by Jasper.

_Love, take a chill pill. It's just a little fun and games. Although I do feel awful for destroying the tree._

I watched Edward as he registered my thought and calmed himself giving me a tight smile. He didn't like this, not one little bit. I guess it would take him some getting used to watching me in these situations that would have slaughtered my human self.

I snapped my focus back on Emmett. He was smirking at his accomplishment and I couldn't wait to wipe it straight off his face.

"That's a crime against nature, Emmy babes, tut tut," I cooed. I flitted from the broken tree, dodging around the field rather than running in a straight line towards him. That would be too easy to anticipate. I enjoyed watching him try to track my blurring form. I was getting closer and closer towards his hulk like frame. Eventually he got impatient and lunged at me.

I growled when his hands latched around my arm, but with some effort I swung him from me. Sending him flying into the forest. Nothing was heard but a loud crash, and a booming laugh. I was glad he was enjoying himself, even I had to admit it was quite fun flexing my muscles.

He charged at me and I flitted to the side avoiding his arms easily. I could hear the other's on the porch laughing at our little match. It seemed I was giving him a run for his money.

He ran at me again, and I swung myself round in a fluid motion onto his back.

"See Em, no Lasso needed," I chuckled as he grabbed at my body, spinning wildly to try and remove me.

"YEEHAW!" I hear Jasper shout, and I laughed freely. Emmett just growled in frustration.

I leapt from his back and fired a kick again sending him flying.

I thought this would be a fair competition. I felt a little mean kicking his ass so easily. It seemed I had the perfect combination.

Newborn strength + pure anger + a tiny bit of human memory and logic = a lean mean fighting machine.

Emmett didn't seem to like being kicked halfway across the field. He was livid when he pounced from the crater my kick had caused him to form.

_Mental note: apologise profusely to Esme for creating an Emmett shaped hole in the garden._

As Emmett came at me we clashed together. The sound of smashing boulders sounding around the field. He slipped his arm round to get me in a headlock. Ruffling my hair.

It only enraged me further.

I flicked my leg back, bending my back so it struck him hard on the head. He stumbled forward releasing me.

"What the hell was that?" He stood rubbing the back of his head where I had hit him. I stuck out my tongue and leapt over him in one split second. Before he had time to react I flicked my leg around to knock him onto all fours.

When I was satisfied with his position, I happily situated myself on his back.

_My own personal Emmett chair _I thought happily to Edward, and he laughed at the situation.

I patted Emmett's head.

"That's a good boy," I muttered softly, I knew I had won. The anger wiped from my system. The others on the porch were howling with laughter.

I jumped off Emmett's back and ran back to Edward's side. Grinning like a Cheshire cat.

I could hear Emmett's grumbles and complaints.

He ran past us pouting.

"Rose, get your ass here. I need to do something manly." I laughed, I knew exactly what they would be off to do but as long as I didn't have to hear it I didn't give a damn.

"That was quite impressive, if not a little hard to watch," Edward said as he leant to put a firm kiss on my temple, his arms tightening around me. I could imagine it would have been difficult for him to watch Emmett hurl me around. I was still so human to Edward.

"Can you believe it! I kicked Emmett's ass! I'm like super Holly!" I was still buzzing from the victory.

"Yes you are. How did you know to fight like that?" Jasper chuckled.

"I didn't really, but as you know it was in the books. I remembered you told them to go for the sides not the obvious attack so that's what I did. Kind of. It probably wasn't perfect but I just did what came to my mind. I didn't even know I could bend my leg like that." I giggled as I remembered what I had done.

Edward's hand crept down my spine resting on the curve of my hip. "I think I rather like your new found flexibility" I could hear the smirk in his voice, and I felt desire ripple through me.

"Erm we'll see you later." Alice dashed off as her and Jasper disappeared into the forest.

I giggled as Edward nuzzled my neck, tracing circles on my hip. I spun my body to face him wrapping my arms up around his neck. He pulled me closer, his hand pressing to the small of my back whilst the other stroked up and down. I loved these embraces, they were so intimate. It thrilled me having every part of my body in contact with him.

"Alice and Jasper are off having sex aren't they," I said in a deadpan tone.

"Yes." Edward matched my serious voice.

We stood staring into ear other's eyes intently.

"So what are we going to do, if both Emmett and Rose, and Jasper and Alice, are off having sex and Esme and Carlisle are out giving us an empty house to be enjoyed?" The tension was palpable in the air around us.

Edward's glorious face turned up in a delicious smirk, his eyebrow rose "I would have thought it was obvious." He pressed himself further into me, and I could feel exactly what he had in mind. It was hard not to.

Then again that didn't mean I had to play ball.

"I agree completely, perhaps something that could make use of my new found flexibility." I bit my lip and loved the lusting groan that bubbled from his chest.

He dragged his hands down my back and cupped my ass holding me against him.

I wove my hand into his hair and pulled his head down to me. He complied easily watching me as his eyes started to darken.

"You get the twister mat and I'll pick out some music" I grinned and leapt off him giggling into the living room.

I heard him give a frustrated sigh. He didn't come inside for a few minutes, and I could heard his mumbles whilst he was trying to 'compose' himself. After all he did have a rather big 'problem'.

_*wink wink* *nudge nudge*_

I giggled as the thought ran through my mind and fluttered the twister mat on to the floor. Hitting play on my ipod to release the wonderfully tunes of Muse.

This was going to be fun.

* * * * *

Monday morning, and for once I skipped to the car before everyone else. Today was the first day that people would know we were Holly and Edward, Edward and Holly, together.

The rest of the Cullen's slunk into the car and Jasper sat fidgeting just like me as my excitement buzzed through him.

"Seriously, Holls, calm down it's just school,"Jasper drawled, and I gave him a little scowl. He knew it wasn't just school, not anymore. Today was the day everything was finally as it should be. I wouldn't have to stop my eyes from glancing at Edward, or stop my hands from touching him. I could even give him a kiss goodbye at the door if I wanted to.

It might have been a dreary Monday morning but to me it was the best day, ever.

Even Edward seemed excited, though not quite the same as me. His eyes danced when he caught mine in the rear view mirror just before we got out the car.

Jasper and Alice made their way out as Edward came round and open my door for me. He offered his hand to help me out, not that I needed it but I loved that he didn't let go as we made our way to first class.

Every single person we passed stared. Every single person behind us whispered. But no matter what they said it couldn't wipe the wide smile off my face.

That is until I saw Bella and her face drained of all colour, her eyes began to water and she stumbled hopelessly into the girl's bathrooms.

She wasn't in an empty zombie state, but she was hurting.

I felt a flash of sorrow, but Edward squeezed my hand reassuringly and we made our way to English.

"Ah look it's our new class couple, I see you're very much still together. Nice to know you've lasted the weekend," Mr Burn's bellowed as we made our way into the classroom. The whole class was already there, and I felt the blush rise at being singled out.

"Sorry if we're late Mr Burn's, the corridor was a little busy," Edward said and it wasn't a complete lie, it was busy. Everyone had gathered to gawp at us. The lie was that even if it was busy it didn't affect our ability to move. Being a vampire seemed to mean people sort of parted away from you like the red sea. The only reason we were a little later was because I had been a bit of a dream state, possibly shock from all the excitement, and therefore Edward had to walk at a slower pace than usual. A bit like when someone guides a spaced out drunk person away from a bar. Me being the stunned drunkard, whilst Edward was the perfectly functioning sober guide.

"Oh I see." Mr Burns gave us a knowing look and Edward smirked next to me, obviously hearing what he'd thought.

_What does he think the reason is? Is it dirty?_

Edward rolled his eyes at my thought, and just walked us to our desks at the back of the classroom. I'd find out later.

English passed by in a blur as usual. I played the good student and made notes whilst daydreaming about Edward. It was very handy having this new mind, and be able to think and do so many things at once.

The bell rang and Edward wrapped his arm around my waist as we walked the corridor. I had maths with Jasper and Alice at the opposite end of the building but Edward seemed set on walking me to the door.

"So what was Mr Burns thinking that had you so amused?" I ignored the death stares from the group of girls near the lockers.

"He inadvertently pointed something out that I think could definitely be of use." His hand played idly with the top of my jeans.

"Oh?" I waited for him to expand, but Edward being Edward, he didn't. Instead he just continued to walk with that wonderful smirk on his face.

"Are you going to tell me?" I was growing impatient and we were close to the classroom door.

"I'd love to, but unfortunately I'm late for class. I'll see you at lunch." He leant forward tilting my head lightly with his hand before he brushed a light kiss across my lips and then left striding off to his lesson. I sighed and took my desk next to Jasper and Alice.

Jasper's face went a little goofy looking for a split second as he adapted to my emotions.

I may have to work on not going all gooey whenever Edward kisses me, otherwise the teachers might start to question my intelligence.

* * * * *

Edward was being awkward. He still wouldn't tell me what Mr Burns had thought. I knew it wasn't a big deal but basically it irritated me not knowing. I felt like because he was being so quiet about it I needed to know whilst if he'd just given me the gist I would have dropped it. It was an annoying persistence in me that had been there ever since I was little.

At lunch I thought it was the perfect time to really put my multi functional brain to the test and get the little secret out of Edward.

_**Tell me**_

**Edward chuckled but shook his head and went back to talking with Jasper.**

_**Pretty please?**_

"So Alice how long have we got till end of junior year?" I couldn't wait till school was over, there was so much about forks and this world that I wanted to understand and experience. School just ate into the time for me to do that.

_**If you tell me I'll let you control the spinner for twister**_

**Edward still said no.**

"About 2 weeks. I can't wait to start the summer, we're going to have so much fun. Your girls should come over. They seemed entertaining at your funeral party. We were thinking about having a little party, your birthday party to be exact. Plus I just can't wait to get some more juicy gossip." Alice's smile was devious and I dreaded the questions that I'd get asked when my girls eventually came to visit. They knew pretty much everything about me, my whole social past. It would be like a gold mine for Rosalie and Alice.

**The Edward related line of thought in my mind thought up something that might make him crack and tell me.**

_**We could get cosy in bed**_

**That had his attention but he still shook his head as his eyes held mine. I couldn't get enough of the fire that sparked behind the surface. When I really thought about it we were both trying to deal with the same emotions Rosalie and Emmett had to deal with. It took them 10 years of near constant contact to finally be able to function properly in public. It made me a little proud that we were coping so well.**

"Party sounds good Alice. That reminds me I was thinking of inviting Ash over for a few days beginning of the break. It feels like forever since I saw her in a normal environment. "

_**Fine I give up**_

"How you gonna hide your dirty little secret from the parents, sure your Dad would love to find out about your little sexcapades yesterday." Emmett wiggled his eyebrows and Rose smacked him as usual.

"What do you mean sexcapades?" I ignored Emmett's original question and instead focussed on the interesting bit. The truth about yesterday was that there was a lot of sexual tension but nothing that actually relieved it. I had far too much fun playing twister.

"Come on what would you do with a completely empty house? Get down and dirty." Jasper was snickering at Emmett's comment.

"Oh don't worry we got real down and dirty... Playing twister!" I grinned at Edward and he just shook his head in shame. Jasper and Emmett were booming with laughter. Even Alice and Rosalie were looking at me in shock.

_**Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me**_

**Edward just stared at me with a mix of frustration and probably a little annoyance.**

I guess I did sell him out to his brothers, but I didn't want them thinking we jumped each other as soon as everyone was out. I was going to make him work for it, that's what I'd always been taught.

The end of lunch came and that meant Biology. Fun

My feet dragged as I walked beside Edward towards the lesson I used to love but now dreaded.

We just rounded the corner when Edward suddenly pulled me with him into what I assumed was a janitor's closet. It was dark and filled with various cleaning supplies that gave it a weird dusty but clean smell.

"Edward? You do realise the classroom was the other door" I teased him and he chuckled but prowled towards me. I took a step back for every step he took forward until my back hit a set of shelves.

He loomed over me his mesmerising gold eyes dancing at my position. He had me trapped and I think I like the little dominant side of Edward.

"I know exactly where we are. Any ideas why?" He purred as he came a little closer.

"You've decided to brush up on your cleaning knowledge." my voice was dripping with sarcasm. I knew exactly why we were here. Mr Burns.

"Silly Holly. Mr Burns gave me a rather good idea." His hand brushed around my waist, dipping under my top to pull me towards him.

"But what about biology," I said in mock shock , as if I really cared at this moment.

"It's healthy to ditch" Edward winked and I bit my lip to stop me from hyperventilating.

He was watching me as my teeth finally released my red lower lip. It wasn't long before it was occupied by his own.

I would never get bored of kissing Edward; I didn't even think the possibility of the thought crossing my mind was possible.

The way he could send my nerves on fire just by brush his fingertips across my skin.

As always our kisses soon created a heated friction between us. Our bodies moulded together as he hitched me up for my legs to wrap round his waist. The feel of him against me was amazing and the way his voice took on that husky tone sent my brain wild.

With each kiss his arousal grew, and I was in heaven as he rocked his hips against mine.

I giggled against his lips when a bucket fell from the shelf, clunking off our heads before clattering to the ground.

"Someone's going to hear that, we'd better stop before they drag us out."

"Nope, never." He attacked my neck with passionate kisses, driving me wild with every nip of the skin or flick of his tongue.

A few more items fell from the shelves.

"Damn," Edward growled lowly and I swiftly unwrapped my legs.

He knew someone was coming, but he didn't stop kissing me. His hands went back to a slightly more respectable place on my waist rather than the downright dirty positioning on my ass. Still he didn't leave my lips.

I heard the door fly open and a throat being cleared.

Edward stopped kissing me and at vampire speed gave me a smirk and a wink before we pretended to be caught in the act.

"Oh god!" I gasped.

"Miss Jules, Mr Cullen if you'd like to leave the closet I think you're expected in my class" I blushed appropriately and scuttled out from the closet. Following the teacher into the classroom with Edward closely behind. His face was smug and I had to give it to him. It had been a much better way of spending biology, for the short time it lasted.

* * * * *

"OH MY GOD Holly! You made out with EDWARD CULLEN in the JANITORS CLOSET! I was excited to hear about the first date but then I hear about this!! I'm so jealous!" Jessica had met me outside of biology as we walked to French. Edward walked beside us his arm still wrapped around me; Jess had been quiet until he left us at the door. Thanks to her loud speech anyone who didn't know (not that there were many left who didn't) would now be very much aware of it.

"Talk a little louder, Jess, I don't think Australia heard you." I chuckled, it was sweet really. It was nice having Jess to talk about this stuff with even if she wasn't quite the same as my girls.

So Jess would have to be my substitute for the 5 girls I had known for the majority of my life.

"Oh come on Holly, you 2 basically scream sex. Have you seen your reflection? Your hair's total sex hair and your top's crumpled. And well Edward... well Edward just looks like pure lust wrapped up in a god of a boy." Jess sighed dreamily and I chuckled, she did have a point. I shook out my 'sex' hair and straightened my clothes. I was back to unsexed Holly in a second.

"Ok Jess fire away, it must be killing you." I barely had the sentence out my mouth when she started.

"First date. Spill." She really took this seriously; she was sitting as if she was in an interrogation room the determination in her eyes.

"Right well, obviously we live in the same house but he left early and sent me a note. I had to follow these gorgeous lanterns to this little place where he had music playing and lights everywhere. We just sat watching the stars talking. It was perfect." I went all gooey just thinking about that first date. It had been everything I had wanted it to be and more.

"Awwww...any action?" Jess still had that matter of fact tone in her voice.

"Some action but I don't want to rush anything. I'm just happy spending time with him. He's so much more than a pretty face." He was kind, caring, unbelievably sexy, loyal, protective, creative, deep, fun. He really was the perfect, to me even if sometimes he could be hot-headed, stubborn, and downright frustrating at times.

"I bet he's amazing." Jess's eyes went all dazed and I didn't even want to know what was going on in her head.

I didn't want to be the girl that blabbed about how good her boyfriend was with the physical stuff. I preferred to keep all the dirty details to myself.

Something changed on Jess's face, like worry or concern.

"I'm really happy for you Holly, but, I mean I don't know if you know but, Bella really liked Edward or likes Edward. And well you two being together, she just doesn't seem the same at the moment. I don't want to have to choose between you two because you're a nice girl but you know... I've known Bella longer and I don't like being caught in the middle. She just really doesn't seem to like the fact I'm friends with you." I sighed at Jess's comment. It made sense that Bella wouldn't like the idea of Jess fraternising with what she considered to be the enemy. I guess I just thought that after her conversation with Edward she would have just accepted it and built herself back together. She was a strong girl, she could survive this.

However at the moment it seemed she was past the depressed state and onto the bitter. If it made Bella happy for me to give up the only other friend I had here besides the Cullen's I would do that.

I didn't need Jess to survive but I liked talking to her now and then. She reminded me that I was still a teenage girl and she gave me that small bit of comfort I got when my girls were with me.

"Look Jess I don't want to come between you and Bella. Don't feel bad about choosing her, maybe when she's moved on we can be friends." With that I ended my conversation with Jess.

Once again Bella had managed to control my actions without me even realising.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: I'm taking a detour from my schedule, a major detour. Not for any particular reason, except for the fact that it's VALENTINE'S DAY! And I'm celebrating my singledom :D**

**So anyway that's why I've posted early and keep you eyes peeled because the next chapter in my little marathon will be up soon,**

**Enjoy my amigos!**

The next few days without Jess were pretty easy, I still had all the Cullen's to chat with and when it came to French I just let myself drift off into my past memories and contemplate things that had happened.

I often found myself thinking about my family and how my change had affected them. Whenever they visited they never let on that anything was wrong, or that they were having any problems, but I knew their life would never really be the same. People thought they had lost a daughter, which instantly meant they would be treated slightly differently to everyone else. There would always be that small amount of pity in people's eyes when they talked to them.

I hated what Jack had done to my family and to me. It wasn't that I had any regrets about the way I was now. It certainly had plenty of benefits, but part of me thought that maybe I would have liked to have decided myself when it would have happened, rather than had Jack's idiotic actions dictate my life.

It seemed that other people were always determining my next move rather than me. First Jack, now Bella. The situation with Bella irritated me, mainly because she had no idea how much I had given up or done for her. She would never have even had the chance to talk to Edward if it wasn't for me, and yet she continued to act as if I had stolen her whole life and left her out in the cold. I knew that right now it wasn't exactly a good thing that I had made Edward interact with her. After all if he hadn't then she probably would have stayed at crush level instead of thinking there was a way of having a relationship with him.

Still I wasn't as self-sacrificing as Bella from the book. I didn't enjoy denying myself something just to protect someone else's feelings, not unless they were close to me. If it was my family or friends I would do it in a second but for a girl who has hated me from the moment I smiled at her, I couldn't find it in me to get the same pleasure from it.

So, even though I didn't want to, I stopped talking to Jess and let Bella have her all to herself. If she felt like she couldn't share then I wouldn't force her, but I knew I wouldn't last much longer until all my frustration bubbled over the top and things with me and Bella got messy.

I huffed as we sat in the Volvo heading home, just a Friday left and then it would be the glorious 7 day count down to the end of term. I couldn't wait to have endless days free to indulge myself with as much Edward as possible. I might even slip in a few shopping trips with Alice or wrestling matches with Emmett.

The radio spoke quietly into the car after playing the chart.

"...._Local News report. There has been another mysterious death in the area this time in the town of Hoquiam. Police have no leads and advise people to be careful and not to travel alone. In other news the Forks High School Spartans are set to play against the Hoquiam High School in the basketball league...."_

Those of us in the Volvo listened intently to the report. I knew what caused the mysterious death and the idea that it was very close made me feel nervous. What if it hunted here? What if one of the Forks citizens got killed?

Images of the people I knew from here flitted through my head. Even the image of Bella sent a flash of guilt and hurt through me. No one should have to die like that.

"They're close. Have you seen anything Alice?" Edward spoke as we exited the car and made our way straight to the living room. We'd have to talk this through, we didn't know who they were, what they would do if they met us, what they would do if they met me.

"Not yet. So I can only assume their future isn't going to cross with any of ours. Although it's probably best if we talk properly with Carlisle later," Her tinkling voice said as she placed herself on Jasper's lap. Emmett and Rosalie were close behind us and sat next to me and Edward as we curled up on the loveseat.

"It would be unusual for them to willingly visit such a large coven, if they did it would probably just be out of curiosity rather than animosity," Jasper spoke whilst he stroked Alice's arm.

"I know it might be a bit strange but I'm kind of interested in meeting a vampire who survives on the normal diet. Just to see what they're like. You know red eyes and shizz." Edward gave me an inquisitive look.

"I'm just curious that's all. The ones in the book seemed so feral and predatory. You guys aren't really like that. Then again I haven't really been with you when you hunt. Actually...When do you guys even hunt? I've never really noticed you going."

When I really thought about it the last time I could remember them hunting was a week after my change but that was 3 weeks ago, and yet they showed no signs of being thirsty.

"Well we've been taking it turns to go at night but to be honest because you're around so much we don't seem to get thirsty as often. Your scent stops that part of our nature so it's not such an issue at school." Rosalie spoke from hers and Emmett's little bubble.

"You're more than a pretty face, Holls. You're like our own personal air freshener. It's like ZAP! and the thirst is gone" Emmett said in an idiotic advert voice before grinning. That is until Rosalie smacked him, demanding his attention.

"Cheers Em, I guess that makes sense. Do you not miss the hunt thing though? Because even putting my rodeo fun aside the thrill and taste was awesome last time." Just the memory of the sweet sticky liquid running down my throat made my stomach rumble.

Edward chuckled. "Come on."

He took my hand and pulled me up to the back window.

"Now?" I could feel the itch rising in my throat at the excitement of hunting, especially with Edward. I hadn't seen him yet and I suddenly wondered how I had managed to be with him for this long and not insist on seeing him hunt. The idea of him prowling towards his prey, his stance like that of a lion and his eyes pitch black, I felt myself finding that idea far too tempting to pass up.

"Of course" Edward's voice hinted that he was just as curious to see me hunt as I was to see him.

"Sounds good," my voice cracked a little and I heard the rest of them chuckle behind me.

We took off and I could feel that itch building in my throat pulling me forward deeper into the forest. I knew what I wanted and it was blood.

Warm, sweet, ambrosial blood.

An appetising scent ran up my nose and I growled in anticipation as I forced myself faster. Edward caught it a split moment after me and raced after my sprinting figure.

I felt a primal panic rise in me that he was going to get there first.

He was going to be the first to bite down into that pulsing jugular.

He was going to steal my prize and I didn't like the idea of coming second place.

I didn't want his left overs.

We were both racing through the forest and the hunger in me pushed my body to the limits. I swept over the ground in pure agility and grace though my mind was filled with nothing but a savage primal want.

I turned to watch my Edward, my competition. He vaulted over a fallen tree with ease and I matched him by flipping over a boulder in front of me landing softly on the ground before sprinting with complete fluidity.

I laughed freely at the feel of the forest rushing past me but I didn't once forget that this wasn't just running for fun. I was hunting and if I let my guard down Edward would steal that thrill of the kill from me. It would be him who got to make the first move and I didn't like that idea one little bit.

I was so close now and the scent was calling to me, like my very being depended upon what that scent held. I crouched low to the ground as I approached.

Just through the scrubs.

Just a few metres.

That's just one leap.

One leap and it's mine.

I registered every sound around me I could clearly hear every beautiful heartbeat that came from my prey and every snuffling breath it made.

I couldn't hear Edward.

I couldn't see Edward.

What if he was faster than me?

What if he made the decision to strike quicker than me?

The possibility of losing forced me to leap before necessary. I clung, snarling, to my prey which turned out to be a mountain lion. A sick part of me liked the fact I had stolen Edward's favourite prey from him. I had claimed it, not him. Its claws ripped at my coral top but I felt smug that my new favourite denim shorts were untouched. I might not have been as efficient or tidy as the rest of them but I was getting better.

I slipped into the fabulous haze that came from the blood, completely giving myself over to the delicious taste.

I heard movement come from my left and I looked up from my still struggling lion. My mouth still latched on its neck feeling the amazing sensation of blood pulsing into my mouth.

I saw Edward crouched in a perfect lion like stance. His eyes the colour of midnight and his mouth slightly open as he looked up at me through his eyelashes with such a fiery intensity.

I felt a growl build in my throat.

I clutched my kill closer to my chest. Frantically trying to drain it before he could take it from me, like a child trying to cram their hands with sweets before their mother took the box away.

"_Mine"_ I hissed and Edward growled advancing on me. The lion took its last stuttered heartbeat as the last few gulps of blood left its lean body. I inhaled deeply as the feeling of the blood settled in my stomach. It was warm and made my veins fizz as its power seeped into my system.

I stood staring at Edward, he hadn't moved from his crouch and the instinctual side of me made my body tense up.

Edward's eyes locked on my lips and I could feel the blood that rested there and pooled. A drip slowly made its way down my chin and my tongue crept out to taste it.

"_Mine_"

This time it wasn't me who spoke but Edward's low rough voice.

I saw each of his muscles flex and ripple as he stalked his way towards me, his eyes still fixed on the track of the drip as it made its way down my throat. I didn't feel the instinct to protect myself anymore, instead I felt something very different. The instinct to give myself completely to the dominance that Edward's posture held.

"Yours." My voice was like a breath on the wind, the haze of the blood making me very aware of Edward's proximity to me.

He stood stone still until he slowly bent his head to my chest and caught the drip before it disappeared into my cleavage. His tongue followed the ruby trail the blood had left on my skin, collecting every sweet tasting molecule that lay in the vivid red trail.

I stood indulging in the mixed feelings the blood and his touch gave me.

His lips dragged up my throat till there was no trace of the blood drip left.

His eyes locked with mine and I could see them filled with black fire.

We came together in a crash of 2 bodies, open mouths, stroking tongues, and groping hands.

"Oh God," I gasped around the edge of our kisses.

Edward's tongue was everywhere, tangling and swirling with mine, tasting the remnants of the blood still coating my mouth. He groaned and licked the blood from my lips.

I felt myself burning at the idea of him, just the very thought what it would be like to have him and me shed of clothes and locked together. To just stay out in this hazed state of lust and blood till we were both satisfied beyond heaven.

I ran my hands down his chest, skimming my nose across his neck, inhaling deeply.

"I can smell your desire," I whispered, swiping my tongue across his flesh, "taste it, on your skin." it was intoxicating and I wondered how I had never noticed the potent scent before. Perhaps the blood in my system had temporarily heightened my senses. Not in a way similar to when anger makes my blood rush but in a way that made me skin more sensitive to his touch, my sense of smell letting me take in the erotic scent of him.

Edward grasped at my chin and tilted my head to the side, running his tongue the length of my neck, tasting me as I had him. A growl rumbled as he registered my flavour.

My fingers sank into his hair, curling and pulling and I loved the small hiss he gave me at the slight pain I inflicted. He retaliated by biting down slightly on my lower lip creating a pain that felt so deliciously good.

As we staggered back into a tree, and I felt my back slam against the bark, I felt a rush of heat flood within me settling right at my core.

I felt his hands sliding down my waist. He hoisted my body to his, letting me wrap my legs around his waist whilst he palmed my bottom.

I wanted him and in that moment I couldn't care less if we unceremoniously tossed aside our virginities in favour of a passionate rendez-vous in the forest.

I moaned in exquisite pleasure because I felt nothing but him as he shifted against me, and pinned me with his hips. My legs wrapped around his slim masculine waist.

My mind was just a blur of passion and heat as he worked me up into a mess of moans and lust.

I couldn't help my hands from following their own accord, and slipping under his top to trace the fantastically toned planes of his abs. The feel of his tensing muscles was a wonderful sensation below my fingertips, and I was eager to explore my new found territory.

I inched my touch a little lower to feel the elastic waist band of his boxers as they clung to his hips.

Just a few more inches and I would hit the jackpot.

The end of the rainbow.

Or, in this case, the end of the perfectly formed happy trail that disappeared below the boundary of the black boxers.

I felt my breathing quicken as I ran my fingers slowly along the edge heading to meet together at the centre just above his jeans button.

"Holly..." Edward murmured, his lips paused just above the spot on my neck that he knew was my favourite.

"Mmmhmm?" I questioned lightly as I nimbly undid the worn, silver, button on his jeans.

"What are you doing?" He whispered it in my ear and brought a finger to brush against my cheek. How could he be so ravenously passionate and yet still manage to be so darn romantic at the same time? I thought guys were supposed to lose themselves to the moment and go crazy with lust. Or perhaps I was just describing myself, instead, at this moment.

I dragged my eyes up his body, away from the sight of temptation that was created by my hands slowly working the zip down its tracks. I eventually looked to see his ebony eyes watching me with a mix of desire, curiosity and... worry?

I smirked when I heard the zip click to signal it had reached its end point. I could only imagine the view I would get if I looked down.

"I thought we could, to quote Bloodhound Gang's song Bad Touch, 'do it like they do on the discovery channel'." I grinned at my silly quotation and Edward chuckled, but much to my disappointment slid his hand to cover my own before they got up to anymore mischief.

"Holly, I think we should wait." His eyes searched mine as he spoke, and I stopped myself from showing the pout that threatened to appear. Instead I decided to go a different route.

"I completely agree with you," I said against his neck as I kissed behind his ear. His hand may have held my own, but that was only one of them. I had another one that I could easily use to carry out my mission.

"You do?" He was confused because my actions probably didn't seem like it.

"Completely." I smiled sweetly and gave him a deep kiss to distract him from his questioning.

Edward sighed. His hand brought the one of mine that he was holding to rest above my head. His other stroked loving patterns against the back of my thigh. I just needed to gently persuade him that we deserved a little bit of fun.

The shift in his position had caused his jeans to now sit wide open, and low on his hips. I hadn't looked down yet, but I could feel that the denim no longer restricted him; instead I could feel his arousal perfectly clear against me.

Just the covered up feel of him was enough for my lust filled brain to urge my hand below the black boxer's waistband.

I teased Edward's ear lobe getting a moan as a reward, whilst I inched my hand just a little lower.

Edward chuckled, and in one smooth movement he had both my hands pinned above my head.

_Damn._

This time I let the pout coat my face and he grinned placing a light kiss on my jutting lower lip.

I watched his eyes slowly turn from black to gold. He stroked my cheek lovingly and smiled as his hands joined with mine, and he moved them down to rest entwined together at our sides.

"As tempting as you are, I was born in a different time. There were certain things that were saved till the wedding night. I know it's old fashioned, but I like the idea that we could have that one night when we both take each other as our own." I removed my pout and smiled at him. He looked a little embarrassed. This was the Edward I had known from the books and although he had effectively cock-blocked me, it was still nice to know he hadn't changed completely into a mini Emmett. It seemed it was me, instead, who had to be worried about Emmett's influence.

"I don't know what your situation is. But I've been a virgin for 118 years. So for me, that moment, when I finally give myself completely to you, is important. You're the love of my existence, and I want our wedding night to be everything I always thought it would be." His eyes were shining, and I couldn't feel the disappointment I thought I would feel at him denying me till after marriage.

"Umm well then, I think you should know my situation matches yours," I blushed, I couldn't say the word virgin it always made me feel all weird but it felt right for him to know that I hadn't lost it to anyone. That when the moment came I would truly be his in every way.

His smile widened and cupped my face placing a light kiss on my lips his thumbs stroking over my heated cheeks.

"Holly, I have no ring with me but that doesn't stop me from saying this." He held my hands firmly in his as his golden eyes swam in mine. I was amazed how fast the mood had changed from something primal to the feeling of love glowing around us.

"I love you, and so I make the eternal promise that I will stay with you forever. And when the time is right I will kneel before you, ring in hand, and ask you to be mine for the rest of eternity," I could feel the tears of joy welling in my eyes.

"I promise to accept," I said, and laughed weakly at how pathetic it sounded compared to the pure pride and love that saturated Edward's voice.

Deep down my libido hated the part of my brain that was going to overrule the desire and deny it what it wanted.

The part that told me that waiting was really the right thing to do.

That annoying part that told me I should at least tell my parents about us being in a serious relationship before we took it any further.

I groaned softly in painful disappointment that the glorious feel of him would be all that I would get today. Just the feeling of him against me as I stood fully clothed, but still so wonderfully aware of how obvious he was through his boxers.

It was just a glimpse of what I could have if I let my self control just cave in.

The idea of when that moment came heightened my anticipation and it was only because of that, that I had the strength to stop now. Even if I had been so looking forward to throwing caution to the wind along with all our clothes.

The idea that when I finally let myself go completely and surrendered everything I was to Edward, the anticipation that these moments helped build would make it so much sweeter than if I gave it up now.

I wrapped my arms around the wonderful man in front of me, and kissed him. Putting every emotion I felt into that moment with our lips joined. My libido would just have to wait a while to get some real satisfaction because Edward came first. So if waiting was what he wanted then I would wait. Even if a small devious part would always be wondering how to distort the rules and push the boundaries. After all there was a lot that could be done before you christened the marital bed.

**A/N: teehee hee. You like?**

**x**


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: Here's the next chapter, and I did say it would be soon. Reason for this one is because...It's MY BIRTHDAY!!! so big 'woo' from me. Still an immature 19 year old (I'm clinging desperately to my teens)**

**And yes there will be another chapter waiting for you on friday, which just so happens to be tomorrow :D**

**Ermmm, what else...I've caught up with technology and joined twitter (I caved to peer pressure), only properly this time, as in I actually use it. So feel free to do whatever people do on twitter and search me: _Ordinary_Girl_ , and when you find it with a pic of some girl hanging off a pole , then that would be me :P**

**Read and review, consider it my birthday present :P**

We stood in our embrace till the green haze- from the sunlight above the trees- began to darken.

"Come on, love, time for home." I nodded, but really to me I was already home.

There is a saying that home is where the heart is.

If this is right then as long as I was with Edward, I was home because he would hold my heart forever.

We turned back towards the direction the house was and started on the run back home.

It wasn't long into our journey that I got the distinct feeling of being watched. As if there was something else in the forest other than the animals, Edward and me. It made me feel uneasy because I couldn't see another person, or hear any of their movements. No heartbeat and no breathing interrupted my hearing. The presence here wasn't human or werewolf, but I couldn't get a read on a scent of vampire either.

"Holly, stay close to me." Edwards body pulled me next to him. He crouched defensively in front, his face showing nothing but pure concentration.

Someone was here, but it seemed only their thoughts told of their existence. There was no other way of us knowing who or what they were.

I felt nerves saturate my body along with the instinct to protect myself. I was strong enough to do it, Edward didn't have to fight for us alone.

"Show yourself," Edward almost growled and I watched his body whipping around tracking the thoughts as their owner moved.

Nothing was visible, there was literally no sign of anyone being there. If it wasn't for Edward and the slight uneasy feeling I had we would never have known of their existence.

"I know you're there. We promise not to attack." Edward's voice was calming and I hoped that there would be a chance we could leave unharmed.

"We're not hunting, you have no need to fight us." as soon as Edward's words left his mouth a wave of memory came over me.

_The smell is so sweet, so fruity and floral. So innocent, as it drifts through the trees whilst I'm running. Definitely a human girl. My body saturated with the strong emotion of anticipation at how she would taste. The way it would feel to have that delectable liquid running down my throat quenching the dry thirst in my throat. The insatiable need to have her. She smelt too good to give up. Next came the anger of the interruption of 2 new scents. One most definitely male whilst the other was female but there was something so different about her scent. So rich and full it distracted the thirst in me. I had to see them, fascination meant I had to know them._

_The girl could wait._

I came racing back out of the memory.

This thing was a vampire and a normal one at that. The memory of the thirst made my throat itch but I pushed it aside instantly when I remembered the smell they had been chasing before we interrupted. The sweet floral scent that was pulling them through the forest before they came across me and Edward. I couldn't understand whether the vampire was male or female but I knew the covetous memory wasn't based on sexual preference. It was based on pure bloodlust, and the thirst that had consumed them.

Edward's words had remembered them of the task that they were carrying out before they got distracted.

The task of hunting down Bella Swan.

The scent in the memory wasn't exactly the same as Bella's in reality, so I held no worry of Edward realising the vampire was planning on hunting down Bella. It seemed that this vampire didn't pick up on as much of the freesia scent, instead being pulled by the soft smell of strawberries Bella sometimes gave off.

The fact that Edward hadn't realised the imminent danger Bella Swan was in didn't stop the panic as it flew through me. I still couldn't see the vampire, but I had to find some way of stopping them from killing Bella. She didn't deserve to die like that, and Charlie would never recover from such a tragedy.

Something had to be done.

I thought of my options. If I tried to run to Bella now the vampire would follow me and the instinct that captures them when they hunt would cause nothing but a fight between us. I wouldn't be strong enough to stop something like that and it would only end in bloodshed. My blood. It would destroy Edward and I would do nothing that could cause him harm.

However if I told Edward I could only imagine the anger he would feel towards the vampire for wanting to kill his singer. Although feelings weren't involved, Edward would never let harm come to Bella. She was _his _singer and that meant he felt some kind of need to protect her. Protect what was, in a way, his. It was some kind of primeval possessive instinct and if it was triggered now I could think of no way for a fight to be avoided.

I was bound, I wasn't strong enough to fight the vampire alone but I couldn't risk Edward finding out right now because no good would come of a fight. I wouldn't be able to stand back and watch him try and fight an invisible force, but there would be no way he would let me fight with him. I couldn't bear to think about the torture it would be to force myself to stand back and just watch.

I still didn't understand how the vampire was invisible to us. Was it a gift? Like some kind of shield against our senses. That alone was a lethal prospect, they could attack at any moment and we would have no way of truly defending ourselves.

My mind came back to the situation from its million thoughts.

I did the only thing that I could think of.

Escape, no matter what the consequences would be.

_Edward we need to leave. I will explain when we're home, but we need to hurry._

Edward registered my thoughts.

"We're leaving. Whoever you are, we are sorry for our interruption." Edward didn't give away that he knew their thoughts although I was sure they would soon figure it out. I still felt uneasy as we ran but that feeling soon disappeared as we neared the house. Edward's hand had gripped mine as we had powered through the forest. I had run faster than I ever had but I couldn't enjoy it, there was no space left in my body for elation. It was consumed with worry, fear, and anxiety at the situation.

I would have to act fast if we were to save Bella. I still wasn't even sure if it would be possible without revealing what we were. She was so observant in the book, I didn't know if we could safely avoid exposing the truth of the immortal world buried amongst the dense forest of Forks.

Edward and I burst through the door surprising Carlisle and Esme who sat together on the love seat. The rest were out of sight but I knew they would soon join us.

"Alice!" Edward snarled, and I held his shoulder to try and stop his temper.

Alice and Jasper appeared almost instantly a look of confusion upon her pixie like face. I could see Jasper was already tensed from the fury and fear he tasted in the room.

"How could you not warn us!? They could have attacked at any moment and you didn't think it a good idea to tell us!" Edward was bellowing and I winced at the anger he directed at Alice. I couldn't let him berate her from something I was pretty sure she didn't see. Couldn't see.

"Edward, I don't understand?" Alice's light voice was hurt as she took in her furious brother.

"Edward, calm down. What happened?" Carlisle stood on the other side of Edward as I rubbed his arm trying to ease the anger that flowed through him. I knew he would be angry at the vulnerable situation we had been in but there was nothing to be gained by shouting at everyone.

Edward seethed and I took it into my own hands to explain.

"We met the new vampire. Almost. We were coming home and we ran into them. The issue was that they have some way of hiding themselves from our senses. We couldn't see them, hear them or smell them. It was as if they weren't even there."

"I could hear their thoughts. They were hunting and thought we were going to steal from them. They sounded like they were ready to rip out our throats! So tell me Alice, how did you not see something like that?!" Edward's voice dripped with fury, and I saw the shock on Esme's face that he would shout at Alice in such a way.

"I never saw anything Edward so there was no way I could warn you about something I didn't know was going to happen!" Alice pushed away from Jasper who stood uneasy. She was right next to Edward as they glared at each other.

"Edward, how could she see them if we couldn't even see them? Isn't it possible the shield they had to keep them from our senses would work on Alice's ability as well?" I reasoned with him and they both relaxed a little.

Time was running out for Bella so I needed them to get away from the blame game.

"Look, there is something much more important. As Edward said they were hunting. In Forks. I got a glimpse of their next victim and we have to stop it." The Cullen's had their full attention on me now.

"Holly, I know it's hard to accept but it's the natural way of life. Predator and prey," Jasper spoke and I knew he had a point, but I couldn't just allow nature to take its course not when it was someone I knew. Maybe not liked but that didn't matter.

"I know that but, and I need you to stay calm Edward, they're going after Bella Swan" Edward's reaction was instantaneous. His body tensed and his eyes hardened. The monster would not want to share.

Growls ripped from his throat at the idea of another vampire drinking the blood his monster craved. His hand tightened in mine and I seemed that I was acting as his anchor.

Although he wasn't his usual self, I was proud that he still had the presence of mind to hear me out and stay where he was instead of race out the house to hunt down the vampire.

"That changes things obviously." Carlisle spoke and I hoped they could come up with a plan.

"Okay Holly. Edward is in no fit state to be around Bella but we will need someone in the house with her whilst we straighten this out. Me, Jasper, Edward and Emmett will be outside Bella's house in the forest. Hopefully we can hold off the vampire long enough for us to talk. See if we can reason with their thirst. Esme, Rosalie and Alice will stay here and contact the wolves. We'll need to talk with them about how this will be handled. If the vampire doesn't cooperate it will be upto them to exercise punishment. I will have no part in the destruction of another being" Carlisle's eyes were full of the sorrow at the idea of having to inflict pain on someone. I just hoped they didn't underestimate this vampire.

The family sprang into action, and I raced with Emmett, Jasper and Edward towards Bella Swan's house. Edward was faster than all of us, but I knew he wasn't going to risk too much. We were a couple and he would do nothing that would put that in jeopardy.

As we ran I didn't enjoy the part of the plan that meant I had to visit Bella. I even had my doubts that she would let me into her house. She hated me.

We had reached the forested line of Bella's house and Edward stood tensed in the shadows, just out of sight. He would be the only way of them knowing when the vampire arrived, although I had a flickering hope that Jasper might be able to get a faint read on him. Emotions weren't something you could easily control and I hoped that maybe the vampire wouldn't know how to hide his.

"Be careful." I brushed a light kiss on Edward's cheek as I passed him.

_Nothing but pain, the small kiss she had placed on his cheek. Like the kisses she used to pepper me with. Her beautiful blonde hair tickling my skin. _

_A beautiful woman with bright blue eyes and golden hair smiled up at me as soft candle light played on her delicate features._

The memory saturated my mind but I shook it clear. This memory had faint thoughts that went with it and the painful emotion was too much for me to take. I knew no one in the Cullen's would have such a memory so it could only mean one thing.

"They're close"

Edward nodded in agreement and I dashed to Bella's front door. I prayed this would work.

I rang Bella's doorbell and waited till the door opened revealing Bella's confused and pissed face.

I heard a faint warning growl from Jasper but knew Bella wouldn't hear the sound. Seems the vampire was here. It was pure luck that we had gotten here in time. Just a second longer and Bella wouldn't have stood a chance.

I had to keep her away from the view of the back garden, it would be a hard thing to explain if she happened to see Emmett or Jasper struggling with something in her garden.

"Hi, Bella. I was wondering if we could talk." I pushed past her into her living room. I know it was rude but I needed to be in here. Just in case. If the vampire somehow got past the 4 of them outside it would be me who would have to try and defend Bella. Against something invisible. I didn't relish the challenge.

"I'll just go upstairs." Charlie scuttled up the stairs due to the tension. It was a shame I didn't get a proper chance to meet him, but now wasn't the time for family introductions and the fewer people within view of the forest outside the better.

"What do you want Holly? Come to gloat have you?" Her tone was acidic and I cringed but tried to keep a friendly expression on my face. I took in her appearance. She wasn't as full of life as she had been. She may never have been the bubbly sort but just looking at her I could see the bitterness was eating up at her. Her skin was turning a sallow colour instead of the creamy shade it used to be. Her eyes were still a little red and puffy from the ample tears she'd cried, and her hair was lifelessly tied back in a messy bundle at the back of her head, a few strands falling free but sitting limp against her face.

_Dear God! What have I done to her?_

_Why isn't she being stronger? Picking herself back up like she's supposed to._

"Look, Bella, I just want to tell you I'm sorry about the way things went." My voice was distant as I focussed my hearing on the heated conversation happening just metres away.

"The way things went? And how exactly did they go, Holly?" Bella spat out bitterly. I didn't even want to be here, mainly because I didn't particularly have a soft spot for Bella, and also because I didn't like facing the consequences of my decision to be with Edward. These put together meant I certainly didn't want to deal with Bella's anger.

I wonder if I could just leave and let the vampire have at her. There's a 50/50 chance it won't happen.

That's pretty good odds.

_Bad Holly_

I sighed as I cleared my dark thoughts.

"Ok, I know you had a thing for Edward so I can understand that me and him being together must bother you. But there was nothing I could do to stop it, Bella. I just fell in love, you can't fight something like that." Bella's eyes flashed with fury.

The murderous vampire outside was probably relatively friendly compared to the teenage girl in front of me.

"FELL IN LOVE! You think you _love_ him? You've been together for all of 2 minutes! You only visited for a month! And all of a sudden you're in _love_?! What kind of idiot are you, Holly?! I loved him from the moment I met him! I stuck by him through the months when he was pretty much lifeless! I've spent the past 8 months just waiting for him to finally see what was right in front of him! And then you come along, act like a SLUT and get the one thing I wanted!" As she shouted her eyes filled with tears and her arms waved in erratic angry movements.

I found my attention flickering between her anger and the discussion between Carlisle and the vampire. I couldn't see them but I could hear it was a male's voice that spoke, and although he didn't seem too happy about losing his kill, he seemed to be cooperating.

"I'm sorry you feel that way but if you loved him, so much, from first sight. What were you doing with Mike Newton?" I felt smug when her anger faulted. She couldn't deny that she had been with Mike. From my experience if you really loved someone you didn't date someone else. Even if it was just for a bit of fun.

"I never felt about Mike the way I feel about Edward." Her voice was a little weaker.

"I don't know about you, Bella, but to me being with someone means you have to have some kind of feelings for them. So either you don't love Edward quite as much as you thought you did, or you were one of those girls who just dated a guy 'cos he was there and made you feel pretty." I sneered but I was nowhere near done. Bella was standing a bit like a deer caught in the headlights as I slowly advanced towards her. It was like she was mesmerised to the point of being unable to move.

I could feel the anger rippling through me, heating my veins. I tingled with the glorious feeling of my blood slowly but surely starting to race with the venom.

"Now, excuse me if I'm being harsh, but I have had more than enough of your _crap_. I love Edward. You might not be able to understand it, but to be honest you don't have to. All you need to know is that we are_ together_ and no matter how much of a tantrum you throw, _nothing_ will change that." I was a mere metre away from Bella and I was indulging in the tingle spreading through my body. I knew my eyes wouldn't be the wild midnight blue colour yet, but I could feel the fire burning through them.

"Secondly, if I want to 'act like a slut' making out with my boyfriend in closets then that's exactly what I'm going to do. Because I'm sorry to break it to you, Bells, but Edward seems to enjoy it just as much as me" my voice was almost a whisper it was filled with so much malice.

I was letting all the anger and frustration I had felt about Bella pour out in this moment. So what if I was supposed to be protecting her from the blood thirsty vampire, if I was going to be stuck in her house for the next few minutes I was going to get a few things straightened out. Then again, the anger pulsing in me was making my blood rush, and I knew I had to keep it from spilling over. I couldn't risk that kind of exposure around Bella. She didn't know about the hidden world of immortals on her doorstep, and it was for her own good that it stayed that way for as long of possible.

But damn if it didn't feel spectacular coursing through my veins. It wasn't at the point where I would cease to be human but it was simmering just below it.

I felt stronger but only marginally, it would be enough to snap Bella's bone's without effort. Enough to eliminate her from the equation.

Now that was an interesting thought...

What would it be like to end Bella's life with my own hands?

As soon as the contemplative thought had passed into my mind I felt my phone buzz.

'**You would hate yourself for doing it. Alice x'**

_She's right_

A faint but building voice spoke in my mind, and I didn't like that the voice caused me to second guess the power that bubbled below the surface. Just waiting to be unleashed.

I felt a hiss rising in my throat at the interruption, but instead of letting it come out, I let it soak though the final words I would say to Bella Swan.

"Finally, I would much rather be in love and have people think badly of me, than lie to some poor boy about my feelings just to give me a little buzz." I ended my rant and prepared to take the final step to crush Bella in the palm of my hand. To eliminate her existence.

I didn't care about what Alice had said, I wasn't thinking about the future in this moment.

That was until I saw that Bella stood with tears pouring down her face.

I felt a twinge of guilt. I hated making people cry.

_She deserved it_

A malicious voice sounded in my head but I knew it wasn't really me, it was the venom pulsing through my veins from the anger. I stared at her tears. They were harmless salt water but they seemed to sting me just as much as my hot acid tears would burn her fragile skin.

Her tears helped to tame the raging monster inside me.

I may have been angry at Bella's actions but I couldn't be angry at her feelings. She couldn't help it, it was nearly impossible not to fall for Edward. She had just fallen a little harder than the other girls at school, and it hadn't been helped by my insistence on Edward spending so much time with her when we were still only friends.

The furious power that had ruled me drained away like water down a plughole. I felt near empty of emotion and feeling.

I edged towards her and moved her to the sofa lightly brushing her back. She didn't flinch away from me, instead moving a little closer as we let our emotionally drained bodies slump together in silent comfort.

It felt like the barrier of problems that had built between us since meeting was finally cleared away. The words we'd said had been hurtful but they were needed to hack at the wall until it had crumbled away. I finally felt that me and Bella could start anew.

"Bella, I really am sorry. I was too much of a coward to tell you about me and Edward properly, and I know what it's like to lose something important to you." I knew possibly more than Bella herself. I had experienced pretty much every kind of loss in the last few months. I knew all too well the pain that cuts at your heart and the echo that sounds every time you think of it.

"I'm sorry I've made everything harder on you. I know it must be sad leaving your family, and then having to start a new life somewhere else. I certainly didn't help did I? All those rumours I made up, I feel awful," Bella sniffled and I grabbed a tissue from the table for her to wipe her eyes and nose.

"You made up those rumours?" I chuckled lightly. I had to hand it to her, she'd put up quite a good fight. If I had been ordinary Holly I probably would have buckled under the pressure, but now I was stronger and had an iron tight support system.

"Yeah, I had some stupid idea that Edward might not like you as much. Or you might have gone home. I should have known you were stronger than I gave you credit for," Bella groaned, obviously embarrassed at what she had done.

"Well, they were very creative. You've obviously got quite an imagination." I smiled weakly and we sat quietly for a little while. I could still hear Edward pacing outside waiting for me but the new vampire seemed to have left along with the rest of the Cullen's. I wondered if the wolves had been called, or if he was going to stay away. Part of me thought it was unlikely that he would give up on Bella's blood so easily.

"I really can't tell you how sorry I am for everything, Holly. I knew Edward liked you from the minute I saw you two together all those months ago. I just wanted him to look at me the way he looked at you. I was jealous, I wasn't really me anymore. It was irrational to think changing myself would work, but I know that now." Bella's chocolate eyes looked at me and I could see she was still the girl from the book, deep down. She really was an open book and I could see that all those hateful glares she cast at me and all the spiteful things she had done, had only hurt herself in the process. She didn't enjoy being bitter and hateful. It wasn't in her nature.

"Bella, do you think that maybe we could call a truce. Start again." She smiled weakly at me and I felt the last remnants of animosity between us melt away. We weren't complete enemies anymore, just two girls around the same age who went to the same school.

"I'd like that, Holly." I leant forward to give her a slight hug. I had never been the 'hug whore' that Ashleigh was but I felt this moment needed it. Me and Bella needed it.

It felt a bit strange finally having Bella accept that the war was over between us. That the problems that used to circle around the threesome of me, Edward and her had been cleared and all it took was a good old fashioned argument.

"Well I should probably go. It's pretty late" I made my way to the front door and Bella stood to let me out.

"I'll see you Monday then." I nodded as I made my way outside into the darkness. I could hear the Edward was racing round the side of the house to meet me in the woods across the road.

"Bye, Bella." She shut the door and I was glad she didn't question that I didn't have a car or any mode of transport. How exactly would I explain that?

I sighed and walked into the forest.

A gust of wind brought Edward's scent to my senses.

"Holly," He sighed as his strong arms wrapped me up close to him and I felt the deep breath he took filling his body with my scent.

He placed a kiss on my forehead after a few seconds of just standing with each other. His face was a lot more relaxed than earlier, and I smiled as I stroked a piece of hair back from his forehead.

"I thought I was going to have two angry vampires to deal with at one point." Edward chuckled and I laughed lightly. I had been pretty close to going vamp-Holly on Bella, but now I was just relieved everything was finally tension free.

"It was just something that needed to be done. Let's go home I want to hear all about the new boy in town. All the dirty details," I purred at Edward and we took off for the home I loved.

My home, with Edward.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: My little sister is just mean, she read my story and then decided to put dayglo orange marker on my Edward poster. I woke up to see glowing amber eyes and freaked out. A lot. I had a moment of seriously worrying that I had an actual Twilight portal to deal with. lol.**

**Just thought I'd share that with you, now on with the good stuff.**

Our arrival back home was met by the sound of struggles and irritated voices.

"Why is he back here? He's the wolves problem to deal with," Rosalie sneered as we passed through the door.

"Rosalie, I understand that the wolves may be the protectors of this area but he seemed cooperative," Carlisle's soothing voice caused Rose's anger to dim a little.

My eyes zeroed in on the part of the room where the sounds of struggling came from. I say struggling but the sight showed it wasn't much of one.

Emmett and Jasper were holding what seemed to be thin air at first but showed the flickering image of a young man. Grunts came from them both when a sudden movement from him shifted their hold. I was amazed they had even managed to get hold of him in the first place, but it seemed that as long as they had physical contact with his body he was unable to keep his shield focussed. He couldn't escape into invisibility as long as their hands held him there.

I wondered what it must be like to have such a talent. To slip past anyone unnoticed and leave nothing of your existence behind. It certainly explained how the police were unable to find anything of him ever having been at the scene of the murder. How would they ever stand a chance at catching an invisible man?

The man's flickering halted as he took in the presence of me and Edward, but he was still struggling slightly against Jasper and Emmett's firm grasps.

He wasn't quite as tall as the other men in our family. About 5 ft 11. I placed his age as 18 at most, but there was a definite possibility that he was even younger than Edward. His near black eyes were set against his pallid complexion making him appear almost demonic. His hair was a caramel colour similar to Esme's but with golden highlights running through the angelic looking thick curls. He looked like a fallen angel Gabriel stripped of his wings and left to battle his way through this life on earth. However, underneath my imagination he was like all the other vampire's I'd met so far, pale and pretty.

"We thought we would wait for you two before proper introductions were made," Carlisle spoke calmly and I saw the vampire glare him, no doubt for the fact that he was being held hear against his will and for longer than he probably had to be.

"Thank you, Carlisle" Edward was glaring at the vampire between Emmet and Jasper. He was still angry that the situation had arisen in the first place. It had put me in danger and that was something Edward couldn't stand let alone the primal instinct to protect his singer, Bella.

I watched the vampire as his struggling calmed, and his black eyes watched me as I studied him from next to Edward. Our gaze locked and I watched in wonder as his struggling stopped and the darkness in his eyes drained away from the edges, fading into a ruby red colour. His whole being settled in that moment and I watched as Jasper eased his hold from the vampire's arms. I knew Jasper wouldn't release him if he thought there was a threat. Even I could see in his eyes that he wasn't in hunt mode anymore. There was only pain hiding behind the crimson irises along with a flicker of longing and comfort.

His gaze unnerved me a little and I settled a little closer to Edward, watching the vampire's eyes follow my motion and flicker with hurt.

His emotions seemed to be confusing Jasper but he looked toward Carlisle waiting for him to speak.

"My name's Carlisle, and this is my family. Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Edward and Holly" Carlisle pointed each of us out as the vampire stood nervously taking each of us in.

"I'm Torran." His red eyes flitted over each of us focussing on the eyes. He would note the difference.

"We're vegetarian, that is why our eyes are different," Carlisle commented and Torran nodded but stared at me as he had before.

"What are you?" He spoke stiffly, he would be trying to control his nervous instinct to run. It must be hard to stay in a room full of strangers. Especially since we were different to all the other's he would have known.

"I'm just weird that's why I look different." The Cullen's chuckled at my simple answer and I saw a little amusement flash in Torran's eyes.

"We're sorry for what happened, but that human is a friend of ours and we couldn't just stand by," Carlisle said and I saw his eyes glance to me and Edward when he said the word friend. It wasn't exactly how you would have described our relationship with Bella before this event. One of us wanted to drink her blood more than any others and the other pretty much hated her. However that was before not now, well at least my feelings have changed if not Edward's.

"I apologise I had not realised," Torran said with a polite tone and his voice seemed to carry a slight Russian accent.

"No harm no foul. However we request that you refrain from hunting in this immediate area. We try to maintain a relatively quiet life here and we cannot risk the exposure your behaviour could bring." Carlisle spoke with authority and we all relaxed when Torran accepted his words.

"Although it has not been a pleasure as such, I am happy to have met you. Perhaps I could visit sometime, your lifestyle intrigues me."

"Of course," Carlisle said as Torran turned for the door.

I was strangely disappointed that he was leaving but his desperation at being out of the current situation was to be expected. I was only disappointed because I would have liked to talk to him and learn a little more about his lifestyle, his past. The memories I had seen from him that hadn't been related to Bella had been so sad and mournful. I couldn't quite understand them but it seemed he had lost someone very close to him and the memory of her haunted him. The girl with the bright blue eyes, small shy smile and golden flowing hair. The happiness she brought to him was obvious in every memory and I cringed at what it must be like for him to live with the emptiness that must consume him without that happiness in his life anymore.

I watched as the door close and heard his footsteps run from the house. He didn't have his shield up anymore and I liked that he didn't feel the protective need to hide from us anymore.

"Have the wolves been told?" Edward questioned.

"Sam was unreachable, do you think they need to be involved?" Alice asked from her place in Jasper's arms.

"He seemed to understand what we asked but Bella's scent was still very much fresh in his mind. I'm not sure if his self control will allow him to leave her alone." As Edward explained Torran's mind I knew it was unlikely that he would give up on Bella's scent. She was too tempting, that much showed in the memory I saw when me and Edward first encountered him.

"I would feel awful if we call them now, it would be like we'd just sent him off to his death without warning. It doesn't seem fair when he hasn't done anything yet" Esme's voice showed her discomfort at setting the wolves on him now. I had to agree with her, it seemed wrong that he had agreed to our terms and yet we were now considering sending the pack after him to rip him apart, all because of a thought he had.

Something that may or may not happen.

"Is it not possible for us to ask them to protect Bella? Just until Torran leaves. That way if he does slip then they get him but if not everything's good." It seemed like the best idea to me. Although I did have the scheming little side of me thinking with the wolf pack protecting Bella, Jake would get a little closer.

"How come the wolves get all the fun" Emmett whined. Typical him wanting a fight.

"If the wolves are involved I won't be able to see anything, we would have no way of knowing if something was going to happen." Alice said and we could hear the uncertainty in her voice. She hated being blind but I personally saw no other way than involving the wolves. They would want to know of Torran's existence and that would mean Alice would be blinded.

"We have no other choice, we can't leave Bella unprotected. How would Charlie cope without her? I would hate for him to lose her." Esme's voice was soft with concern for the girl she knew so little about.

"I'll call Sam, we need to discuss how this will be done. We can't risk exposure." Carlisle left with his phone dialling.

"They'll have fun catching him if he does do something. I'm not even sure they'll manage it. His shield's so strong. I never seen anything like it" Jasper absentmindedly stroked Alice's hair as he talked.

We passed the time waiting for the wolves in quiet contemplation. There were risks that came with their involvement. Bella was a bright girl and the close proximity to wolf pack was bound to get her capture her mind. She had disregarded their legends at first but that didn't mean they wouldn't resurface. It would do her no good to know about what we were. Knowledge of the wolves was harmless but knowledge of us had a death sentence.

I couldn't fathom how she would be kept from knowing about the resident vampires when the whole creation of the wolves revolved around them. If Jake mentioned that vampire's triggered the change then Bella would most definitely start to ask questions.

Would Jake lie to her? If things went the way I expected them to then I doubted he would keep such a monumental secret from her. Of course all this depended on if Jake took the relationship any further than protector. He might not even get close enough to be a real friend, though I couldn't see him spending so much time with Bella and not becoming close to her.

An air of uneasiness infected the relaxed quiet room as the scent of the wolves drifted from outside. We sat in our places of comfort and waited as Carlisle opened the door.

I was surprised the wolves even visited this place. The smell alone would be enough to make their hair stand on end, however we had called the meeting and with Torran loose in the forest it wouldn't have been safe or wise to discuss the matter out there openly. At least we knew he would be cautious of coming near the house. He may have planned on visiting but if was unlikely it would be in the same night as our little disagreement.

The strong smell of woods and earth mingle with the usually fresh smelling air. I knew to them the house would be sickly sweet but to me there was only a fresh smell that was lightly laced with the pleasant scents of my family.

We watched as Carlisle returned to the living room, followed closely by the 7 wolves in their human form.

"I'm sorry for the short notice but please make yourselves comfortable." Carlisle smiled at the anxious wolves as he took a seat next to Esme.

They dithered a little as a group before sitting bunched together on the far side of the room, putting as much distance between them as possible without appearing too rude.

It was remarkable how a like they looked. I had expected similarities but even at this close distance they looked almost identical. Each had muscular bodies shown off due to their simple denim cut offs sans t-shirt.

_Ashleigh would love this_

Edward chuckled as I sent the thought to him. She would positively melt at the sight of the 7 bronzed rippling bodies in front of me. Their jet black hair was cut short and set off their russet skin tone. Each pair of dark eyes watched my family with a blank courteous expression. They gained no real enjoyment from seeing us but at least they didn't seem to hate the experience either. I couldn't tell who was who as such except for Sam. There were slight differences between the wolf gang cast in the film and the one before me now but I was sure their personalities would show me a little of who they were. One I could already name for certain and that was Seth with his slight excited smile that would break through the blank mask now and then.

"What is this about? We'd rather it be quick, there's been a visitor in the area we have yet to have the pleasure of meeting," Sam said and I saw Paul and Jared exchange eager looks. They were looking forward to the fight that much was obvious. I almost felt bad that we were taking that away from them a little. That is as long as Torran behaved himself.

"We had a run in with a new vampire in the area. He was hunting but Holly wasn't particularly happy with his choice of prey," Carlisle explained and the wolves sneered at the term prey. It was obvious they had a real hatred of the regular vampire diet.

"We've been trying to track him down ever since the first killing in Port Angeles, we hadn't realised he'd gotten this close" Sam said as his pack behind him stayed quiet. He was the alpha and I doubted that they would speak unless directly spoken to individually. They were a pack and they operated as such whether in wolf form or not.

"We discovered a reason for that. He has a gift. He can physically shield himself. Make him invisible to sight, hearing, smell." Sam seemed taken aback that a vampire would have such a skill whilst Paul seemed more thrilled at the idea of a decent fight. The complications appeared to just heighten the fun for him.

I wondered if he realised how much like Emmett he was.

"How were you able to stop him hunting if you had no idea where he was?" Carlisle looked to me and Edward for the answer.

"We were out in the forest when he came by us. I could hear his thoughts and knew he was hunting. But it was Holly who found out who it was" Edward spoke and smiled down at me. He seemed to think I was the reason for Bella being alive, that I was somehow a hero just because I accidently stumbled across Torran's memory of her scent.

"He was hunting Bella Swan and I couldn't have that happening." I spoke softly and the wolves watched me with interest. They were probably still getting used to the idea of me and what I was.

"It wasn't your place to stop it. It's our job" Sam seemed annoyed that he had slipped in his role. That he had been forced to have vampires stop something he should have been there to stop. It irritated me that he thought we wouldn't help, that we were heartless because we were vampires.

"Your right, but what did you expect? We just leave it because it wasn't our job? What kind of idiot would do that?" Edward squeezed my hand to slow my rant.

"We didn't mean to offend you. I'm just saying that's the reason we exist. We were created to protect these people." As Sam spoke the pack sat up straight, proud of their reason for living and they should be.

"You know, a thank you would be nice." Rosalie smirked, she was pushing our luck and it showed on the packs faces. Carlisle gave her a cautious look whilst Rosalie sat with a smug look on her face. I gave her a wink. I always liked that she didn't walk on egg shells. She wasn't afraid to voice her opinion and I respected her for that.

"Thank you," Sam said in a low tone. I could tell that it wouldn't take much for the civility they had built up to be shatter just out of smart remarks or winding up.

"You're welcome." Rosalie said sweetly and Emmett chuckled in amusement.

Sam gave a frustrated sigh "Is that all you wanted to talk to us about?" He went to stand with the rest of the pack following but Carlisle stopped him.

"We managed to talk to the vampire and stop him from hunting Bella. We also asked him to refrain from hunting in the area however Edward could hear something in his mind that suggested he wouldn't necessarily be able to just forget Bella. So we're asking for you to just stay close to her. At least till he leaves." Sam simply nodded but out of all the blank expressions on the packs faces it was Jacob's I watched closely.

The mention of Bella sent a flash of recognition through his eyes but that was all I could see.

"If that's all we should probably leave and reorganise our patrols. Thank you for warning us about his ability, we'll do our best to keep Bella safe." Sam's voice resonated with certainty and I tried to be positive, but it seemed impossible that they would truly be able to protect her from something they couldn't track. I had a feeling Torran wouldn't risk attacking with them there but at the same time if he could find a hole, and had the drive then surely there would be nothing to stop him.

We had managed to give Bella 24/7 protection, and yet it still might not be enough.

* * * * *

The situation with the vampire and our meeting with the wolves last night were pretty much forgotten, though mine and Bella's argument and reconciliation were still fresh in my mind. I had never been a fan of conflict but the pressure that had been building between me and Bella had now vanished. Like gas being burnt off by a flame. The heat of our argument had broken down everything and evaporated the malice we felt for each other.

I knew it would still be hard for Bella to see me and Edward together, but that would only be at first and I knew that it wouldn't be the source of tension anymore. She had accepted it and I could sense that she was finally ready to move on. It was almost as if it had all been predestined to end in the culmination of rage before settling into a peaceful, and easy environment.

Now I focussed on it, I found it interesting how fate had led me down this road.

Many deny the existence of that unknown force that directs you without you knowing, however although I had a logical mind I found myself unable to disregard such a thing as fate. It was too clear to ignore. There had been so many things that had happened out of sudden twists of fate.

The poster being bought for me on my 18th birthday.

Edward entering my world.

The choice I made not to tell the police about Jack when he first bothered me.

My choice not to tell Edward about Jack.

My decision to cut contact with Edward, and allow him to get closer to Bella.

The choice of going for my last walk as a human, which ended in me being ran over.

Ashleigh's choice to go home, and deliver the Cullen's letter before I told her to.

The situation with the vampire forcing me to confront Bella.

Every one of these choices and decisions fit together perfectly to show the path my life had followed. Each one of these small twists of fate had opposites that would have drastically changed how my life had panned out.

The most obvious decision being if I had never read Twilight. Then I would never have been given the poster, and I would never have met Edward.

If I had never picked up that book none of this would have ever happened. I may have lived and died after having a normal life or I may have had to endure the same tragic end as the Jack incident produced, only that time there would have been no other option than death.

The very thought of that alternate life left a bitter taste in my mouth.

Some decisions I have made have been foolish, naive and just downright stupid, but I could discount all of that because the adventure led me to my place in this world, and that place is in Edward's arms, on a moonlit night, in a bed that wasn't quite big enough for 2 people to fit without snuggling up.

"Holly, I was wondering if it would be possible for us to visit your family tomorrow, as long as you don't have plans." Edward's velvet voice drifted through the darkened room as we lay entwined on the bed.

"Sure, I didn't have anything organised, and it would be nice to see them. Any particular reason?" I lazily toyed with the triangle of bare chest I had managed to reveal through unbuttoning the top few buttons of Edward's steel blue shirt. I thought it best to get used to the idea of naked Edward gradually, at least that way when we finally did the deed I wouldn't risk passing out from the perfection. That and I was secretly leading him to complete nudity without him wising up to my newly developed sexual deviant ways. Our little session in the forest still played in my mind and I now had a target to work towards. No sex? Sure. no nudey fun? nope, no deal. I had urges and Edward had better watch out.

I came back from my devious plotting as Edward placed a light kiss into my hair. He was sweetening me up, I'm sure of it.

"I just thought it might be nice for you to see them and...I was wondering if perhaps we could tell them about us" I tensed at the idea of telling my parents. Now that would be awkward. I could just imagine the look on Dad's face.

The image of him taking a shot gun out and aiming it at Edward filled my mind. I sent it to him with a look challenging look on my face. If he honestly thought my Dad was going to take our relationship easily then he was underestimating him.

Edward chuckled when my thought played out in his head.

"It's lucky I'm bulletproof then, isn't it." I huffed but it was half hearted. I knew my family deserved to have the full information about me and Edward. To be honest we had already given away hints of our relationship in front of them, but them having an inkling, and actually having to come out and tell them was another thing.

I could feel the blush rising in my cheeks just imagining the conversation.

Edward's cool finger stroked over my heated skin.

"It will be fine, love. You know that. Being in love is no reason to be embarrassed." I chewed on my lip with the nerves but I nodded in agreement. I knew it would be fine, and I knew I had no real reason to be embarrassed but it wasn't the love part that was bothering me.

My parents weren't naive. They knew what love combined with teenage hormones and nearly endless amount of spare time would lead to. That was what was embarrassing, the fact that they would know what me and Edward got up to.

There's definitely something 'icky' about your parents knowing about what you do in your love life. Just like there's something wrong about knowing what goes on behind your parent's bedroom door.

I wasn't as effected by the sexual activity that happened in this house from the other couples because they weren't of blood relation, so our relationship had a different dynamic. It wasn't exactly the epitome of comfort when you hear every noise, but it was something you just accepted. It wasn't quite as bad because they were more like friends to me.

Edward was watching me through my little thought process my hand frozen in its tracks on his chest.

"well then I guess we're telling my parents."

His face lit up, and I leaned up using my hand resting on his chest to lift my lips to his, sealing my decision by giving him a firm and resolute kiss.

**A/N: Come on, I want your thoughts :D (and would be fun to hear if any of you have had a moment of wondering 'what if' when you looked at your twilight poster ;P)**


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:Hey, loving the reviews, so keep them coming.**

I stood deliberating as in front of the mirror whilst Edward stood calmly at my side.

Why had I decided to do this? Why was it important to me for them to know?

Maybe I could just leave them with a few more hints and wait until they got the message. That way I wouldn't have to say the actual words.

I wasn't really scared of them knowing about me and Edward, it was more the embarrassment of telling them. How silly that I could feel awkward about telling them that I was in love, when they were my family and knew everything about me.

"Holly. It's been 15 minutes, they'll be wondering where we are." Edward placed a stilling palm on my back, gaining my attention immediately.

"Yeah you're right." I smiled before I went back to pacing and smoothing out my coral tea dress.

Edward chuckled and grabbed my hand stepping towards the mirror and straight through as it churned in front of us.

Even if he had dragged me through I soon rushed towards my family as they stood beaming on the other side.

"Holly, honey, Come here," My mum called and I raced into her arms, basking in her warm brandy scent before moving on to Dad and ruffling Ashleigh's new hair cut.

It wasn't too different but the shaggy layers and thick side fringe made her look a bit more sophisticated.

"Nice do, Ash."

"I've got keep up withthe competition" She gave me a wink before striking a pouting pose. I couldn't help but laugh, she really was a vain little thing but you couldn't help but forgive her for it.

Edward followed my greetings with handshakes and his own way of greeting Ashleigh which was basically her grabbing a hug off him, whilst he stood awkwardly until she let go. I liked that my parents didn't flinch at his cool touch, but then again they were probably used to it by now. They had spent enough time with the Cullens to be used to the differences.

"Took your time, Holls. Those eyes have been glowing for ages," Dad said and I grinned at him taking in his slightly greyer hair and chubby waistline. It hadn't been long since I last saw them all, but it seemed the stress that I had left in this world was taking its toll on my parents. Mum still looked the same at first glance but as I looked closer her eyes looked tired and there were a few more worry lines creasing her soft skin.

"We apologise, Alice was a little reluctant to let Holly leave without her finishing touches," Edward lied smoothly and I cast him a thankful glance. I didn't want my family knowing that I had been nervous about seeing them, especially when right now I couldn't think of anybody else I would rather spend time with.

"Well, let's not stand around here when there's sofa's downstairs to use," Mum said and we left my museum like room to head down to the lounge.

It was a little strange being in my room and seeing it in nearly exactly the same state it had been in last time I came here, nearly 3 weeks ago. Mum had tidied it and there were things missing that were in my new worldm but other than that they hadn't changed it into a room that could be used. Instead it was still very much _my_ room. I hoped it wasn't a sign to show that they weren't coping. I didn't like to think that I was happily living my life whilst theirs was constantly stilted by what had happened.

Once we got into the lounge I smiled at the vivid red sofas. I had always loved the colour of them when Mum first bought them, but now they were so much brighter and I could see nearly every fibre in the fabric. The room had a homely smell of pine and furniture cleaner, and the air was filled with the faint buzzing coming off the TV and the distant noises of the neighbours through the walls

I watched as Mum and Dad curled up on the sofa the way they always had and Ash situated herself on the fluffy sheep skin rug in the middle of the room. Edward took a seat on the opposite sofa to my parents and settled himself back in a relaxed position that left his body wide and open for me to cuddle up to, just as we usually did. I wanted so badly to snuggle into my favourite position but I couldn't with my parents watching us from across the room. Instead I sat awkwardly on the edge of the sofa as far away from Edward as possible. It just didn't feel right to curl up with him when my parents still had no idea about us. I wanted to ease them into it rather than just throwing them in at the deep end.

"So, how's everything in your world? It's been a while since we last saw you and obviously it was a little unnerving..." Mum asked.

Of course the last time she saw me was when I had lost my temper with Tanya. That must have left a really good impression on them. Mum's memory of my black wild eyes filled my mind and I cringed at the image. I could only imagine the pain and worry she must have felt when she saw me like that. She would have thought that she had lost her daughter and I would bet anything that the image had haunted her dreams several times since.

"You mean when I went all psycho bitch on Tanya?" I smirked and Ash giggled.

"Yeah that was awesome!" I grinned at Ash and got a flash of her memory of Tanya cowering in the corner whilst I advanced towards her. From what I could gather from the memory Ash was thrilled to know she had what she referred to as a kick ass sister.

"Well, it's fine. I've actually learnt it can be pretty good fun, although Emmett doesn't seem to keen on my venom triggered side." I flash a smile at Edward and he chuckled behind me along with sending me an involuntary flash of our hunt together. I knew my venom flooded side had been hard for Edward to adjust to at first but I wondered if he now enjoyed it. I knew I certainly enjoyed his predatory side.

"Oh, Holly what did you do?" Mum's face had a genuine look of worry on it. Did she actually see Emmett clearly? He was a giant compared to me and she was worried about _him? _I guess she had been lulled into a false opinion by his dimples.

"Her and Emmett had a little wrestling match but don't worry, all that got hurt was Emmett's pride." Edward chuckled and stroked a proud hand down my arm; the motion was watched intensely by my dad.

"I didn't have you down as a wrestling kind of girl, Holls. Far too much exercise." Dad chuckled and I gave him a mock glare.

"Well, what can I say, Dad. There's something fun about hurling someone into a tree." Mum gasped and I laughed at her shock. I guess I was still very much her little girl. She didn't see a lot of my vampire side so I think maybe she had partially blocked it from her mind.

"Did you seriously beat Emmett?" Ash looked at me in wonder and I nodded which gained me a 'woooaaah!'

"Is school ok? Everyone being nice?" Mum asked and I knew her voice had caution in it because Esme must have told her about Bella and the rumours that were circling. I knew Esme and Carlisle still came over to go to their salsa class so the two sets of parents had mini catch ups, not that I heard a lot about what was said.

Edward traced soft circles on my lower back and I thought that maybe now would be the chance to tell them. Mum had already asked about school and Edward and I had been a main topic in school. Maybe I could give them one more hint and hope they didn't want me to spell it out to them.

"School's going fine. Everyone's nice to me although some of the girls aren't too happy. It seemed Edward was their favourite bachelor so that means I'm not their favourite person at the moment," I said and Edward edged closer to match my position of tensely perching on the sofa.

I watched mum and dad look at each other and exchange a silent conversation whilst Ashleigh's face split into a beaming smile.

"So you guys are finally official?!"

I chuckled and nodded at Ash whilst Edward grasped my hand and placed a light kiss on it.

"Hmmm. Officially official. You think you're worthy of my little Holly-Berry, Edward?" Dad was playing his protective father role and I rolled my eyes at the serious tone in his voice.

Edward didn't mock him in the way I did. Instead he sat up straight and looked my dad dead in the eyes as he replied.

"It's not my place to decide if I'm worthy of Holly, Sir. That is her decision completely. However I promise to strive every day of my existence to be the man she deserves. I respect you, Jason, and I would very much like your blessing but even if you refuse, it won't change the love I feel for Holly." As Edward finished the love and passion dripped from his voice and I watched as Ashleigh and Mum melted at his words.

Dad didn't.

"Well if you make Holly happy then I'm happy." Dad smiled but it was brief.

"However if you ever hurt her, I might not be able to do anything to you but I will certainly encourage her to tear you to shreds." Dad's eye showed his protective glint before it melted into humour.

Edward nodded and in that motion it was all I needed to melt into his arms and snuggle back into the sofa, smiling contently at being back in his arms as they hugged me close to him.

When I looked we mirrored the position of my parents and I was glad to see that they were still as in love as they ever had been. Jack hadn't caused them to drift apart under the stress he had caused.

"Was this why you were so nervous, sweetheart?" Mum asked and I nodded blushing at my silly anxiety.

"Hate to break it to you, Holls, but we already knew. Emmett let slip a while ago during poker that you two were pretty smitten." I looked up at Edward in confusion. The sneaky little vampire had made me come over here and go through the anxiety of telling my parents when they already knew. I would have to watch him, he was far too good at hiding little pieces of information from me. Then again he had probably known that I wouldn't have truly been comfortable with them knowing about our relationship unless I had properly told them. It was just something that needed to be done so that I got realise it was real.

"Yes, I think Emmett was rather hoping you would have been too tipsy to remember, because this time he didn't actually mean to say anything," Edward chuckled and my dad grinned.

"May have been a bit fuzzy but I never forget. That boy's face was pretty hilarious when he spilt the secret." We all relaxed knowing that there was an elephant hiding in the room any longer and I liked the fact that I could be with Edward the same way we were at home. I didn't have to put up pretence.

"How did that werewolf meeting thing go?" Mum stuttered over the word werewolf and I knew it was because the whole supernatural thing was still very new to her. She probably still felt uncomfortable with the idea that it existed. Dad always took things in his stride whilst Mum needed some time to adjust.

"It's shape shifter's, Mum, not werewolves." Ashleigh piped up and I grinned at her.

"You've been reading your twilight," I said.

"Yeah well, I figured since I've got a sister living it I may as well have some idea of what's up," She said but I knew that she understood the world I lived in and the twilight plotline was different, even if it had most of the same characters.

"Anyway it's all good and the meeting went well. No problems with the wolves. They didn't try to rip me up or anything and I signed the treaty so it's all official." I smiled and Mum nodded but I could see there was something bothering her under the surface.

"Does Jacob black really walk around shirtless all the time?" Ashleigh's eyes were lit up at the idea of a half naked Jacob and I grinned at her excitement.

"He certainly does. Sometimes he's even stark naked...If you discount all the fur. Anyway what's happening here? It seems we're always talking about me."

"Well, I'm almost finished with my tutors training so I'll be teaching nurse students soon. Your dad is still at the company, Ashleigh's doing her GCSE's and that damn Mrs Wilson is still giving me casseroles just so she can fish of gossip. I really am getting sick and tired of people feeling bad for us."

I felt myself slump a little at what mum had said. I knew their world would never be the same again but I had hoped that eventually things would move forward and people would start to forget. I hated Jack for what he had done to my family, causing them to have their life changed forever. It would never be the same again because they would always be the poor parents that had lost their child in a tragic accident. There would always be faked sympathy in their eyes and I knew that would drive my family nuts. We were strong people and that meant faked pity was unwanted and a waste of time and emotion.

"Have you thought of moving? Starting again?" As soon as Edward softly spoke the words I felt panic fly through me. I didn't know how I would cope if they moved. This house held so many memories of our lives together. It had our laughter and tears engrained into the wooden floors and solid stone walls. I couldn't imagine this house being anyone else's home than ours. I knew that realistically when the last of my family died it would be someone else's home to live in but part of me hoped that there would be a way for me to hold on to it when that moment came.

My Dad seemed to have the same thoughts on the house because his expression took on a look of determination.

"This house is our home. We're not going to move just because some idiot went crazy with his car. We have a life here, and Ashleigh has friends. Things are hard enough for her at the moment than having to deal with moving as well." Dad ruffled Ashleigh's hair as he spoke and I looked at her searching for any sad emotion on her pretty face. I couldn't bear to think that Ashleigh was suffering in silence when it was entirely my fault that any of this happened. I had been stupid enough to ignore jack's threats.

I was a fool and it seemed unfair that it was my family who was suffering the consequences of my decision whereas I was able to move on.

"Ash, what's going on?"

As soon as I spoke Ash's eyes settled on me and a memory swirled into my consciousness.

_I sat in a dull classroom with a middle aged woman perched on the desk in front of me. Her tweed skirt was too old fashioned for her age and her ugly jumper offended my eyes. I didn't want to be here. I wanted to be outside where I could hear everyone else was talking, laughing, having fun. Not having to be stuck with this idiotic nosy woman._

"_Ashleigh. I understand that this must be hard for you. I know how your feeling." The insipid woman cooed and I had to try very hard not to form a scowl._

"_Have you lost a sister?" My words had a bored tone to them and I dragged my eyes lazily up to look the woman in the face as she gazed at me in false concern._

"_Well, no Ashleigh. But..."_

"_If you haven't lost a sister then you obviously don't know how it feels." I bit the words out and I felt my anger boil as she didn't even show any insult at my tone._

"_Ashleigh. I just want you to know that if you feel that you need some extra time for assignments or someone to talk to then just ask." This time I felt the scowl on my face._

_What made her think I would want to talk to her? Stupid cow!_

"_We all miss Holly." That did it. Those words right there._

_My anger blew up and I didn't try to control the explosion. I rushed to stand up and took the chair clattering with me._

"_Don't lie to me! You don't miss her! You didn't even know her! I don't want your pathetic attempt of empathy and I certainly don't want to EVER have to sit and talk to you about my feelings! You're not my friend, or parent. You're my teacher so get that through your bottle thick glasses and back the fuck off!"_

The memory faded and I was left with the bitter taste of guilt in my mouth. What had I done to my little sister? How could I have left it so long to come and visit? She needed me, they all did and I had been too busy indulging in a new life without any of my past problems hauting me.

"I'm sorry, Ashleigh. I didn't realise. Although I should have. The teacher's at that place always were the 'let's-be-friends' type." Ash smiled a bit and huffed, sending her fringe fluttering into the hair.

"It's fine. I'm just sick of them thinking just because I've 'lost' a sister that I've suddenly become incapable of working like everyone else."

"It will pass and I'm sure she won't be bothering you after that outburst" Edward chuckled and Ash nodded smirking at her little achievement of scaring a teacher.

There was a moment of silence and I felt Edward tense next to me whilst my mum gave my dad an awkward glance. She wanted to say something but it was obvious that it wasn't a popular topic.

I was shocked when I felt a low growl rumbling in Edward's chest. Whatever it was that passed through my mum's mind was something bad.

"Mum, spit it out."

"We weren't sure whether to tell you or not, but Jack's plea has come out and it's changed a few things." I bit my lip as I waited for the bad news, because it was obvious from the dark cloud that had descended on our little group that it was bad news. Edward especially was looking murderous.

"He's claiming not guilty on the count of diminished responsibility. Saying his mental state wasn't as it should be. It means that they are going to postpone the trial by three months whilst they gather evidence," Mum said and I watched as Dad's blood seemed to boil.

I knew what his plea meant. There was already very little evidence to show that it was a purposeful and revengeful case of hit and run. There had been no eye witnesses, the only person who had any connection to the accident was the woman who made the phone call for the ambulance and that was only because she heard a crash and a scream. She didn't see anything.

If Jack claimed he wasn't in a healthy mental state then it was possible that he would only spend a short sentence in prison that's if he even got sent there.

It was a sickening thought but there was a possibility that he would walk free without any justice being held against him for what he had done to me and my family.

"Holly. Trust me if there is no way that boy is going to get away with this. Even if his punishment is given by the law. I will gladly get my own revenge." The dark tone in my dad's voice scared me and I could see it had the same effect on my mother.

Then I knew that although Jack hadn't destroyed my family yet, his effect was still at work. If he walked away it would be the end of my parent's happy relationship together. They could survive the hit my death had been on the family but they wouldn't survive the guilt, regret, and thirst for revenge that would saturate the small cracks and fill them 'til it all just fell apart.

I clutched Edwards hand in mine and looked towards him only to see the same emotions that were in my dad's eyes, mirrored in his own.

"You will not do anything, either of you. If the law doesn't serve justice then I will be the person to make the decision as to whether revenge should be taken." I switched between my dad and Edward with a stern look in my eye until they weakened under my glare.

Really I didn't know what I would do if Jack walked away with nothing hold him accountable. Part of me wanted his blood to coat my hands whilst the other half found the idea of a slow torture of solitude for his entire life more therapeutic.

Perhaps I could persuade Carlisle to let me have a human slave.

We sat in silence for a little while longer as we each took in the news.

Edward gave me a nudge and I remembered a question I had been meaning to ask. I knew now that it was even more important than it had been before.

"Ash, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to come stay for a few days, once schools over. We'll go all out. Pampering and everything." I grinned as Ashleigh squealed with excitement.

"Really?!"

"I know Alice is looking forward to it. She's desperate for a shopping partner since Holly was a little scared off after last time." Edward smiled at me and I shuddered at the human memory of my last shopping trip with Alice. I had never seen so many shops and bags in my life.

"Well that's settled then. Maybe come over the weekend after my birthday?"

"Yeah that's would be amazing....Oh my God! Can I meet Jacob?" The way Ashleigh's eyes lit up was exactly what I wanted but I wasn't really sure how I would introduce Ash to Jacob. We may have been civil with the wolves but I doubted that they would be happy to be our show and tell.

"Awesome! Does he look like Taylor Lautner? Because that would be gooooood!" Ash was practically bouncing at the idea that Jacob was real and I smirked as Edward rolled his eyes. He would never understand her fascination with 'a dog'. I didn't even really see the appeal, but Ashleigh had always been a team Jacob kind of girl.

"He kind of does. They girls in Forks certainly seem to like him"

"Pssh, they can move aside. He won't be able to resist me when we meet." Ashleigh's voice was full of confidence and all of a sudden I felt a flutter of panic.

Maybe I had underestimated her fancy for Jacob.

It wouldn't be a good thing for her to get involved with him. Firstly there was Bella to take into consideration because I would not leave her without anyone. It wouldn't be fair after I had taken some much from her already. Then how exactly would we explain her appearance to them? They didn't know about the portal for good reasons and I couldn't risk just ignoring those reasons for Ashleigh to nestle herself into the immortal world like me.

Dear God! What would I do if one of them imprinted on her?

Plus where would that leave my parents? I couldn't leave them without both their daughters.

These were all side reasons that ran through my mind.

The main one was her safety.

I knew it was hypocritical but there was a part of me that felt that the wolves' world held a bit too much danger for me to thrust Ashleigh into it happily. I knew a life with vampires, wasn't the peak of safety but we were in control of ourselves. The wolves still had some unpredictability to them and tit was that which made me less keen to let Ashleigh get to close.

They were protectors and killed vampires as a way of life. That surely brought with it some revenge, to me that made their life more dangerous than mine.

I took a glance at Ashleigh and my mind was made up. I will definitely have to avoid Jacob. I t shouldn't be too hard since we didn't really social in the same groups.

I shoved aside my worries and just enjoyed the excitement in Ashleigh's voice as she talked with my parents.

"How cool would that be? I've always wanted a dog and that way I could have a boyfriend and dog rolled into one."

We all laughed at her way of putting it and it was spent in that happy relaxed feeling that we past the night until me and Edward finally had to leave.

It had been nice to see my family again and even better to know that me and Edward were out in the open.

I liked the way we all worked they same way as a family and Edward fit into our little bubble perfectly.

As we had said goodbye I had held onto Ashleigh a little longer than usual. The next two weeks would be very long for her and I hoped that her promised visit at the end would be enough to keep her going.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews.**

**This chapter Holly and Edward take their relationship to the next level. There'll be a 'warning' just before in case. **

The atmosphere in school on Monday was a wild buzz of excitement. Banner's filled the walls, poster's hung in every spare space, chatter was constant and focussed on just one subject, and for once it had nothing to do with me or Edward.

Prom was coming to Forks High School and Alice wasn't going to let us miss it.

"Come on, it will be so much fun! We hardly ever get to go." Alice was pouting as Jasper just chuckled at her excitement. She had been trying to persuade us all to go ever since the clock showed Monday had started at midnight.

I usually had English with Edward, but the class had been cancelled and that meant we had a free period at the same time as the others, which in turn meant I didn't get to escape Alice's begging. We were sitting in the lunch hall where most students gathered instead of going to the study hall during frees. The walls were splashed with bits of paper reminding the student body of graduation gowns, prom tickets and various sports events.

It seemed Alice was being swayed by the pretty prom posters.

I had nothing against going to prom, but I didn't want to be the reason the other's got dragged into something they didn't want to do. That had happened last time at the Valentine's dance and although they didn't complain, I wasn't sure if they really enjoyed themselves.

Then again it would be nice to go to prom with Edward like all the other couples do.

"Alice we don't go for a reason, it's a waste of time just sitting watch the boys ogle the girls whilst they prance around in dresses." Rosalie was obviously a bit cynical of the idea.

"But Holly hasn't been to a prom, do it for Holly, Rose," Alice was giving Rose puppy dog eyes and I had to laugh. She used me as the reason to go and yet it was blatantly obvious she was the one who wanted the experience.

"Jazz, make her want to go, pretty please. I want to get all dressed up." Alice looked up at her husband with a pleading look, and I saw him buckle a little before he caught the look on Rosalie's face and the anger he no doubt felt coming from her.

"You dare to mess with my mood for the little pixie and you'll regret it." Jasper chuckled weakly at being caught between the two women. Rose may have been threatening but Alice was his wife and held a lot more pull.

He looked towards me, Emmet and Edward as we sat silently watching the little argument. He really was torn.

Emmett was snickering at his situation since for once it wouldn't be him getting the punishment.

"Alice, I really don't mind not going." Alice gave me a look that shut me up instantly.

"Don't be so self sacrificing, Holly. You can't miss your first prom. It's an American tradition. One we should respect." Edward chuckled at his little sister's determination. For someone so small she never backed down until she got her way.

If I was honest it would be a shame to miss my first prom. We didn't have a proper one when I was at school in England it was more just a school disco with prettier dresses. No prom queen and prom king, no hype. Just a little bit of music and some dancing.

It would be a nice to have a proper celebration to end the past few months that I had spent in this world. However, I didn't want to go if the whole family wasn't there. I had an idea and if I had judged Rosalie's reason for reluctance correctly, I felt like it might just work.

"So you don't want to go because it's boring, yeah?" Rosalie nodded and Jasper chipped.

"It can also be a bit difficult to spend the night surrounded by humans," He added nervously, probably a wary of Alice's wrath.

"But I thought I eliminated that part for you." It seemed to work okay in the everyday environment of school. Not perfectly but as long as I was nearby Jasper didn't seem to struggle as much, and I remembered Rosalie telling me that their thirst was more manageable than it used to be.

"Usually you do help but only when you're relatively close by, and I doubt Edward would enjoy me stalking you two all night," Jasper said and I laughed at the imagery.

"You never know, Jazz, he might be into the whole kinky threesome thing." Emmett nudged me looking between Jasper and Edward wiggling his eyebrows. I just rolled my eyes.

"Emmett, don't be silly....I wouldn't do anything without Alice there as well." I sent a wink at Alice and she giggled as Emmett bellowed. I could practically hear Edward rolling his eyes at my silly joke.

"Anyway, back to this prom thing. I had an idea." As soon as the plan formed in my head Alice jumped at me gripping me in a death hug.

"Holly, that would be amazing! I've never done that before!" She was practically squealing with excitement.

"Come on, Rodeo, spill." Emmett had pulled Rosalie into his grasp, so I had the two couple looking at me for my master plan whilst Edward traced circles on my lower back.

"OK, so I figured since it was prom and, for some of us, graduation as well as finally being the end of the school year. So big reason to celebrate."

"WooooHoooo Freedom!" Emmett boomed and a few heads turned to look at us but quickly turned back to their conversations.

"Yep, woohoo indeed Ems." I said calmly. Truthfully I was just excited as Emmett. It would be nice to not have school to bother with.

Alice was vibrating in her seat waiting for me to reveal the big plan.

"Anyway, the best way to celebrate freedom is to indulge in a little debauchery. Wouldn't you agree?" I grinned at the rest of them and looked to see Edward giving me a puzzled look.

"You've got my interest but what kind of debauchery did you have in mind?" Rosalie asked, I could see her eyes had a little excitement in them.

"Ok, well I figured maybe I could show you how me and my friends spent our prom night... partying the night away in some dark room with a lot of loud music." I saw Rosalie's face crack with a devilish grin. If I knew her, like I felt like I did, she was imagining the fun she could have in a hot sweaty room full of men and a jealous Emmett.

"Now that does sound like fun." She smirked.

"Love, as much as that would be an interesting night out. A hot room filled with humans might be a bit much for us." Edward obviously didn't want to ruin my plan but he made a valid point. Luckily I'd already thought about it.

"I know that. That's why this is the plan... We go to prom, let Alice have free reign with all the pretty clothes and then we come back, get changed and go through the portal. Get into town about 11 and party till they all shut down. Just like me and my mates used to do" I grinned and they all smiled back at me. Rosalie didn't even show any resentment at having to go to prom. I think the idea of going to a real club and being able to dance and have fun without having to worry had sweetened the deal.

"I can't wait. I've never been clubbing before." Alice's eyes were shining, and I saw that Jasper matched her ecstatic expression. I was able to give Alice this human experience and it would be without the risk of the thirst taking any of them over. They could relax and be like everyone else, minus the super human strength and speed but that was fairly easy to control.

"Fine, I'll go to prom but only for a couple of hours," Rosalie sighed, and I beamed that my idea had settled her dislike for the whole prom side of the celebrations.

"That's settled then." I snuggled back into Edward's arms and smiled when I felt him place a kiss into my hair whilst I danced light circles on his knee.

"Now the important stuff... Dresses!" Alice started, and I groaned as my moment of peace was about to be interrupted. I knew giving Alice all the fashion control would be easier in the long run, but I had hoped she would need at least a few minutes to think through our outfits.

It seemed I was wrong.

* * * * *

The next couple of hours past in a blur as usual. I listened as people around me babbled about the end of the school year and their plans to start the summer with a bang. Jessica had already started talking to me again and spent the whole of French recounting her plans for prom night with Mike, her prom dress, what she expected Mike to do for her. It was strange, all the excitement but I liked it.

England seemed positively reserved compared to the buzz that filled this small school.

I could already hear the rumours of who was voting for who in the competition of prom king and prom queen. I hadn't even given a thought to who I would vote for, but I did know that voting for one of the other Cullen's would be too hard of a decision to make. I knew prom king would be an obvious choice. I could easily write Edward's name down, but would that be a little predictable? If I didn't write his name, who's would I put?

I looked around the biology room at the possible male candidates for my vote. At the far side of the classroom was Mike Newton sitting with his face scrunched up,his cheek being propped up by his elbow. He wasn't a large part of my social life. In fact, I barely knew him in this reality except for his relationship with Jessica. So I was basing my opinion on that and that meant he was struck out of the competition. He was constantly edging closer to Bella and favouring her over Jess when it should be the other way round. I couldn't vote for someone who acted that way even if he was supposed to be the high school 'stud'.

The next boy to have my eyes land on him was Tyler. Again, I hardly knew him. Not even the book gave me much insight into his character other than the slight cocky confidence he seemed to possess. As I watched him covertly from my seat I saw him create a spit ball and fire it at a girl who hadn't featured in the book. I found out her name was Rebecca. His little game of target practice was enough to discount him.

The memory of my younger self being the odd one out filtered through my mind. It was due to my exclusion from the popular crowd that I met Sarah. The two of us didn't conform to the pretty girly girl image and so were left out to face the name calling and other forms of petty childish bullying. I knew Tyler wasn't really a bully but that didn't mean his action was acceptable to me. I knew Rebecca didn't enjoy his attention and from her posture she was too shy to say something to him, preferring to sit and quietly accept it rather than speak up and risk embarrassment.

I reluctantly turned away from Tyler and saw Connor sitting next to Tyler. He didn't seem to agree with Tyler's teasing instead he was just focussed on finishing his work.

He seemed nice enough. He had been one of the first people I talked to when I arrived back here. I hadn't heard anything to cause me to dislike him, and from what I could see he didn't act in way that hurt anyone else.

He was a possibility.

I smiled and Connor looked up to catch me looking at him. He grinned but it soon faltered. I saw him quickly look back down at his work. I turned to see Edward looking at Connor with a look that could easily be mistaken for jealousy.

Could he possibly think that Connor was a reason for jealousy?

When I ran over the situation in my head I could see how it could seem like I was gazing at Connor, but surely he knew better than to think I would prefer Connor to him.

I placed my hand lightly on his.

_What's with the death glare? I'm surprised Connor didn't keel over on the spot. _My thoughts held humour but Edward didn't seem to find it funny. He turned away from Connor but didn't look me in the eye, instead he chose to trace the wooden indentations on the chipped desk.

I hated to think that I had hurt his feelings unintentionally, but there was nothing I could do right now, not in the middle of class.

So I sat there and copied his posture, just staring at the table top waiting for him to look at me or show some kind emotion other than the tension coming off him now.

At first I didn't understand why he would react this way, but then I heard Connor whisper.

"Ty, I think Holly was just checking me out." His voice was excited, and I could hear he was straining to hide the giddy emotion he felt from Tyler.

"What makes you think that?" Tyler wasn't really sold on his friend's statement, and I was glad. I didn't need him to encourage Connor, that wouldn't help my situation with jealous Edward beside me.

"She was totally checking me out. No doubt. You think I should talk to her at the end of class?" Connor buzzed, and I sank a little bit further into my seat. He wasn't helping my situation at all, and I could feel Edward becoming more wound up by the second.

"I don't know, she's with Cullen isn't she? What would she want with you?" Tyler teased, and I could hear the definite sounds of a playful scuffle.

"Maybe Cullen's not satisfying her needs? Wants a bit of fun." I saw Edward's hands bunch into fists, and my inner monologue was focussing everything I had on praying for Connor to shut up.

"Hey, rather you than me. I wouldn't want to be the one to mess around with Cullen's girlfriend. That guy gives me the creeps." When I looked at Edward I thought the remnants of a faint smile flashed across his face.

"Pfft, I'm man enough to take on Cullen. Just watch and learn, Ty. Watch and learn." With that last sentence I knew when Biology finally ended it wasn't going to be an easy, smooth transition into lunch.

I sighed as Biology ended, although I was nervous to see what was going to happen I was still happy that it was lunchtime and didn't have to pretend to pay attention to a lesson that held no real interest to me at the moment. I had to admit my grades were going to be better than they ever had been since I was doing the course for the second time around.

Edward and I stood to leave, and I hoped I could get out of the classroom before Connor approached me.

I hurriedly gathered my things and hurled them into my bag with a little less of my innate grace.

I registered the teacher leaving along with the first few students that were already prepared for the end of the lesson. There was the excited buzz of lunch talk, and I hoped that Connor would be distracted enough to not approach me. I didn't want to hurt his feelings but he had misunderstood my actions, and I certainly didn't want Edward thinking I wanted Connor to approach me.

I waited anxiously as Edward compiled his things.

I could hear Connor's footsteps coming closer.

I had to get away before he 'made his move'.

"Edward, come on. Alice wanted to talk to me about start of summer, some kind of shopping trip." I wondered if he could sense the nervous tone in my voice if he did, he didn't change his expression from the slightly smug mask.

"I'm sure she can contain herself for a few more minutes." His arms wound around my waist and pulled me towards him. I didn't miss the flicker of amusement when his eyes looked behind me for a brief moment before he leant in to place a smouldering kiss on my lips. His hands pulled me a little closer to him, running down to graze my rear.

I knew why he was doing this, and I knew that it was working. Connor's footsteps stuttered, and I heard Edward chuckle slightly.

_I hope you're happy with yourself._

I pulled away from him and saw the smug smirk that played on his lips.

"Very." He whispered before giving me a final lingering kiss.

I recovered from the buzz his lips gave me and saw Bella fumbling with her things. There was no reason I couldn't talk to her. We were on speaking terms now; it would be nice to actually have a conversation with her without the tension.

"I'm going to have a chat with Bella. I'll see you in lunch. OK?" I reached up to give Edward a soft kiss before he sighed and left me to walk to lunch with Bella.

The classroom was emptying and Bella had managed to drop the contents of her bag on the floor.

I bent to help her pick up her things, "hey, how's things?"

She looked up and seemed shocked at first but soon relaxed to give me a small smile.

"Things are fine. What about you? Everything ok at home?" This was the caring Bella from the books.

"Yeah they're great. Alice is positively buzzing with the idea of prom. She's dressing up the whole family. I still have no idea what I'll end up wearing." I grinned at the memory of Alice's happy face when we finally settled our prom night plans.

"Are you going to prom?" I asked. I was genuinely interested if Bella was going or not. She wouldn't have the incentive of seeing Edward and she didn't really enjoy dancing. It made sense that she might just choose to miss it. Then again I had heard Jessica's plans, and it seemed she wasn't letting any of her friends miss one of the biggest school events of the year.

"Ermm yeah actually. I wasn't going to but Jake said it would be fun. He was planning on crashing it anyway." She blushed, and inside I was doing my little victory dance. Jake was taking her to prom and that blush showed she liked the idea.

"So are you two going as dates?" We were slowly walking through the corridor towards the lunch hall. I could hear the difference between my sure and steady steps compared to Bella's stumbling ones.

She would never survive in this world without her own superhero, it just so happened that it was going to be a wolf instead of a vampire.

"I'm not sure if we're dates just kind of going as friends." She fiddled with her hair as we neared the bustling sounds of the hall.

"I didn't know you were that close"

"We used to see each other a lot when we were younger, and he came over with Billy to hang out on Sunday," Bella mumbled, but I knew it wasn't just because of this. Just like her and Edward had a pull, there would be something between Jacob and Bella. Even if it was just an innate comfort between each other. They would just click.

We had reached the lunch hall now and as we passed into the loud buzzing space I noticed a few confused faces that registered us standing together. Bella looked at me and I could see her embarrassment written on her face at being the centre of the attention. I had thought it didn't bother her, but now I knew she didn't mind the attention when it was her friends but when the whole school focussed on you, like any other person, she still felt awkward or uncomfortable at the number of eyes watching.

We had only paused at the entrance for a second if that, and I gently nudged her towards the lunch queue, from a glance at my table I could see Edward had already got me lunch. I could have just left Bella to walk across the hall by herself and get lunch, but I saw her feet stumbling in the rush to get away from the watching eyes so instead I walked with her. Just a small gesture but I remembered a time when I used to hate walking into a room alone or crossing the hall by myself because you felt like an outcast. Even though your friends would be waiting for you it still felt uncomfortable to be out in the open alone.

As Bella turned to join the queue I gave her a brief wave before heading to the waiting arms of Edward, placing myself in the seat beside him whilst he leant to give me a small kiss on my cheek. It might not have been the same as the passionate kisses we shared away from prying eyes but it was his way of showing what I meant to him. Just showing me that he missed me for the few minutes we were apart.

I couldn't believe that I had fallen so hard. I had gone from a girl who had never really let herself experience love, to the girl who couldn't get enough. And it was all because of the man who held me to him now. Playing his fingers loosely through curls that rested below my shoulders and placing sweet kisses into my hair. He made me feel like the only other person in the world just by placing his hand on my skin.

I would never get enough of him.

**(so here's the warning)**

"You know this is definitely becoming one of my favourite hobbies," I gasped around Edward's lips whilst my hands fumbled with the third button of his steel grey shirt.

The night had started as any other, talking, laughing, just being with the people I loved, but for some reason the excitement of the freedom waiting for me at the end of the week made going to sleep a little harder to do than usual. Add in Edward's presence next to me and I had quickly found a way to spend the time.

If I was too energised to sleep, I could think of no better way to fill the next few hours than getting lost in the world of pure Edward. Only this time I was adding in a something new, or removing depending how you look at it.

The clothes were coming off.

Maybe not all of them, but I'd had enough of feeling the fabric of Edward's shirt below my fingertips.

I felt Edward's hands passing down to rest on my rear as his head dipped to kiss the nape of my neck.

"I couldn't agree more." His voice was at my ear, and I shivered lightly before impatiently removing the last of the offensive material that covered his torso.

I could have ripped it but I wanted to savour this moment. The first time I would see Edward's sculpted chest without expensive clothes obstructing my view.

As the shirt fluttered to the ground I gasped and took a step back to admire the view. He was heaven; his body would put an underwear models to shame. A broad strong chest led down to perfectly defined abs and I let my eyes linger on the delicious sight of his v cut disappearing into his low jeans that sat perfectly on his hips.

_He's gorgeous and he's all mine._

I licked my lips as the thought passed through my head.

_Miney, miney, mine, mine._

The words danced around my head with my happiness.

I dragged my eyes back over Edward's lean figure to fall into his swirling gold eyes as he watched me intently. One step placed me inches away from him and I took pleasure in running my hand down the centre of his torso feeling his abs tense as my light touch trailed across his skin. My envious lips followed the trail my fingertips had left, my tongue peeking out between my lips to taste his skin and the fabulously intoxicating scent that permeated from him. I smirked when I heard the small gasp slip from his lips as I looked up at him from my lashes whilst I placed a final kiss on the satin like skin just above the button on his jeans.

I knew we would wait to take things further but that didn't mean I couldn't tease him with the very idea of the things I would do to him when the time came that he could no longer argue that it went against his old fashioned values.

I would wait for him patiently; however I still intended to have a little fun before we decided to seal the deal with a wedding ring.

I slowly came back up to stand in front of him, trailing my hands up the entire length of his body before locking them around his neck and pressing my still clothed body to his.

I felt his hands wind down the edges of my chest, skimming the sensitive skin just above my hip bones. Our eyes stayed glued together as he wrapped his hands on either side of my waist lifting the edge of my fitted emerald green t shirt.

"May I?" He whispered into the dimly lit room. I felt his breath hitting the surface of my lips, making them tingle and part slightly, just so I could taste him on my tongue. The tension that filled me choked my voice, so I just nodded and waited in anticipation as he painstakingly dragged his hands up my body, removing my top in the process.

I didn't worry about my choice of bra; I made a habit of always wearing something that made me feel sexy. It was a rule Rianna had always preached. If you feel sexy in your underwear, you'll feel fabulous in anything you put over it.

I never thought I would end up in this position when I got ready this morning but I was feeling smug now, knowing the bra I had on underneath the simple green top.

It was one of my favourites, and one of the only ones I had brought with me from home.

As Edward's fingers passed over the satin and lace fabric I saw him take in a steadying breath. I could imagine the images passing through his head and he hadn't even seen the full effect yet.

His eyes closed for a second as the top dropped to the floor with a soft thud and my hair swung around my back resting in supple waves on my chest.

I took his hands in mine and saw him open his eyes taking in the dusty pink satin balcony bra with pretty lace detail on the top of the bust highlighting my cleavage.

I giggled when Edward's eyes widened and took on a look similar to that of a starving man seeing food for the first time in years. Pure ravenous desire.

I smiled when his lips crashed to mine sending us back onto the bed in one swift movement.

We were careering towards second base and I had no intention of ever stopping him. There was nothing more exquisite than the feel of his skin against mine. Hot and cold moulding together to make the most heavenly combination, setting my skin on fire with the sparks that flew between us.

His cool mouth peppered kisses across every inch of bare skin and I writhed as his tongue flicked at my tummy button sending surprising shockwaves through my body.

My heart was hammering in my chest and I could feel my eyes starting to glow and change into their darkened version due to the heat of the moment. Passion rolled through me settling right at my core. The air was thick with our pants and the small sounds that slipped from our mouths as we ground together.

Edward's firm lusting touch passed over the thin satin straps on my shoulders and I felt him freeze for just a split second. Uncertainty tainting his actions for that short amount of time. I knew he wouldn't want this to seem rushed or like we were going too fast but in this moment I couldn't find it in me to think that anything about what we were doing was wrong.

Edward leant back from our kiss and stared deep into my eyes, his dark topaz one's mirroring the feelings I was revelling in.

"Holly... I want... I want you, so much" I ignored the hidden 'but at the end of the sentence and cupped his glorious face in my palms, brushing my thumbs over his wonderfully sculpted cheekbones and leaned to give him a firm lingering kiss on his pouted lips.

"I'm yours to have." He backed away as I changed position so that we were both on our knees in the centre of the bed.

"You truly are the sweetest temptation, what's to stop me from just taking you now?" His voice was low as his fingers lightly caressed their way up my arms, his eyes glued on the straps that held the small scraps of satin and lace to my body.

What was to stop him?

I doubted I would care if this night ended in me finally getting that flood of ecstasy I longed for.

But I could hear something in Edward's voice. He wanted me that much was obvious, but he didn't want to it to be like this. A lust crazed haze on a school night. He wanted it to be our wedding night, when I wore his ring on my finger and we were joined by law and religion. It was the one thing he wanted most and it was something I could give him. He had fought for me, waited for me and loved me. Giving him this would be my way of finally giving him something back.

I stroked up from his hips so that my palms rested on his chest and smirked up at him.

He wanted to know what was going to stop him from losing himself completely to the all consuming lust my scent built in him, I had one simple answer.

"Me."

He raised one perfect eyebrow, and I felt his fingers slowly following the structure of the straps round to the hooks of the clasp.

"I'm sure I could persuade you to see sense." The first clasp opened, and his lips curved in a devilish smile.

He bent to place a kiss just below my ear whispering, "desire can be a very potent emotion," as the second clasp flicked open, and I felt the release as the structured fabric relaxed from my body. Just two loose satin straps stopped my chest from being bare to Edward's fiery gaze.

My breathing hitched when his hands ran up and down the length of my bare back, no longer obstructed by my bra.

The skin that had been covered from his touched seemed to tingle with the contact. He placed soft but seductive kisses on each of my cheeks whilst his touch followed the contours of my shoulder blades up to the offending straps. I bit my lip as the anticipation built in me. I wanted his hands on me, but I had to show him I wasn't going to let him fall over the edge and lose his morals in the heat of the moment.

"I want the anticipation of the wedding night. You won't take that from me ,and I won't take it from you. It will be ours to experience together." His eyes glimmered in the dim moonlight.

The house was silent and I realised the family had gone out. They'd given us this time to take the next step together and be relaxed in knowing that we didn't have an audience. I felt bad that they had thought it necessary but the majority of me was happy that I could share this intimate moment with Edward and only Edward. I hadn't been a situation anything like this before. I'd had drunken fumbles or inexperienced groping, but none of them came with the feeling of rightness or love that cloaked me now.

"You are extraordinary," he sighed, but he didn't move the straps the few inches to allow the garment to fall from my heated skin.

"And I'm all yours." I smiled at the overly cheesy line I'd used.

"You know what would be even more extraordinary?" I gave him a small smile whilst my hands swirled patterns on the smooth skin of his chest.

I could see the cogs turning in his mind, and his eyes sparked with a new intensity as his features formed a smile that melted me into a puddle on the floor with the hot lust it sent through me.

"Tell me." His voice was low and rough, and I bit my bottom lip as I let go of the last piece of anxiety that our positions created in me.

"If you ...take. It. Off" His tongue darted out to lick along his lips.

After an eternity his hands skimmed across my shoulders and the satin slipped in one fluid motion to the top of the bed covers. Lying in the pooling moonlight with bathed us in silver.

Edward's arms wrapped around me and he guided us back down to the cotton opulence of my bed focussing on the sensation his trailing fingers sent through me as they moved down my body.

He hovered his mouth over mine, watching me with a loving intensity while his hands started to move over my taut abdomen and I let my hands roam along his broad strong back. His lips parted in anticipation as he skimmed my flesh causing me to release a moan. He was slowly approaching the underside of my breast and I was watching him with sweet anticipation as the tip of his index finger brushed the delicate skin. I gasped with the trembling pleasure that quaked through the centre of my body.

His eyes dilated and the darkness from his pupil started to cloak the dazzling topaz that smouldered in the darkness. I could feel my own eyes blazing at the heat building inside me as he swept over the fullest part of my breast.

He was teasing me and I couldn't find it in me to hate him for it.

The feeling was too exquisite for me to find any reason to resent it.

His eyes met mine and he gave me a devious look before he swept his fingers over the pebble hard peak sending another rush through me and causing me to whimper as I came just a little closer to falling apart in his hands. I needed the feel of him on me like oxygen and so arched into his touch

This gained me a hiss that seemed to sink straight through me to the very centre of my bones.

"You are exquisite," he whispered, and the sensory overload of his voice, his touch, his scent that filled my head and tickled my tongue, all this combined to illuminate my world into such an intensity I felt all control slipping away. I let my head fall back into the pillow.

He placed sultry kisses on my heated skin, running them along my collarbone and up to my jaw whilst his nimble fingers swirled patterns on my flesh melting me like fire does ice.

His mouth continued its path on my skin, dipping down to my cleavage and skimming his lips over the most sensitive part. Just that skimming touch made me tingle but when he brought his mouth down to swirl his tongue over the surface I felt the moan leaving my mouth and the way my chest rumbled lightly caused something to trigger in Edward. I gasped at the amazing feeling of his teeth ever so lightly grazing the sensitive tip.

My hands tightened in his hair and I heard that erotic sound of a growl breaking through followed by a moan as he ground himself against me.

I knew what I wanted but I couldn't have it now. Not yet.

We needed to take this step by step, like any other normal couple. We'd enjoyed our time at first base and second base was definitely a lot of fun, but I don't think we were ready for third. We might have wanted it, our heavy breathing certainly showed that, but we needed to take our time and just embrace all the new experiences and feelings that came with each new step.

"Edward..." I whispered heavy with the passion between us, our bodies were pressed together as Edward's lips made beautiful trails on my skin and our torso's connected creating friction.

I wrapped my legs around him and he sighed.

"Holly, as heavenly as this is... and I do mean that genuinely" he punctuated his sentence with a small thrust.

_He might be 118 year old Vampire but he's still just like a 17 year old boy._

I grinned at my thought and focussed back on Edward.

"The rest will be back soon and..." I placed a finger on his lips to stop him from talking.

"I think we've tempted ourselves enough for one night," I ruffled his hair and gave him a soft kiss before shifting out from under him and going towards the chest of drawers for my pyjamas. I didn't get very far before he caught me round the waist and brought me back down to the bed. His eyes were sparking with amusement as I gave him a questioning look.

"I couldn't miss the opportunity to do the one thing I've longed for ever since I met you." He crept over me and planted his arms on either side of my body as I lay beneath him. His eyes stayed on mine as he slowly inched closer to my chest.

In one swift movement he buried his head between my breasts and then the mature 118 year old vampire extracted a motorboat from my 32 G's. I couldn't help but laugh until he finally came back up with that crooked smile coating his face.

"A motorboat? Really?" I chuckled.

"Definitely worth the wait." He grinned and rolled off me.

**A/N: thanks for reading :)**


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: One thing to say... Eclipse trailer :D:D:D:D:D:D **

**Happy reading x **

I sat in French pretending to finish the test in front of me whilst the human's around me stressed over their verb conjugations and correct prepositions. I could have just gotten up and handed in the completed test since it had only taken me ten minutes to fill out, but since it was supposed to take an hour I thought it was probably better to sit and wait for at least another half hour.

It was the final week of classes the teachers were getting test happy and doling out the exams like no tomorrow. This meant that, since I was going to be attending this school next year, I had to do the exams just like everyone else.

I could have seen the wasted time in classrooms as exactly that, a waste of time, but instead I decided to use it for a little contemplation. Life had been a bit manic recently, so I liked to have these little quiet sessions when I could just get through the muddle that was building up in my mind. Just like I used to organise my room into little piles when I was mortal, I now organised my brain into little compartments of information and thoughts. It might not have cleared them away completely but it gave me back the space to really think about the present instead of constantly cycling through the past.

That was what I was doing now, thinking of the past. After all there had been a lot to think about.

The main topic was Torran.

I didn't want to think about him, but my mind wouldn't let me let go of the niggling feeling that circled my memories of him.

We hadn't heard anything from him or about him. The wolves hadn't come across him on their patrols, and he hadn't approached Bella's home since our last little encounter.

Although the wolves patrolled Bella's home and free time, it was expected that we would keep an eye on her whilst she was at school. It seemed fair since we were within a hundred metres of her for roughly eight hours a day.

Really there was no time when Bella was unprotected, but was it ever going to be enough?

She was after all a danger magnet and Torran was danger encapsulated into the perfect predator.

As soon I thought of him in that role something seemed off.

Sure he was a vampire and he had wanted to kill Bella, but was he really as vindictive or determined as James and Victoria had been?

It was true that Bella's blood was a strong temptation to him in his mind, but I couldn't decide if he was the type of person to enjoy the thrill of a chase or playing games like James had.

I knew it was wrong to come to a judgement after only meeting him twice, but there was something so hauntingly sad about his memories that just refused to meld with the idea of a calculating killer.

There was too much pain surrounding that pretty human girl for me to believe that he would find any enjoyment in a fight, a thrilling hunting game, or even in his existence itself.

I remembered the way he had shied away from us in the Cullen's house and the anxiety that seemed to echo through his eyes. These things told me that he wasn't one to pursue danger. Plus there was the fact that his gift was the perfect way to hide away and avoid conflict. I doubted he even knew how to fight, I mean would he really have any need to if he could simply disappear and run?

The memory of our final encounter reminded me of the intense night I had battled through with Bella.

I cringed against the memory of the anger I had felt and the look on her face when I had advanced on her.

I had been so close to ending her completely and changing this world so drastically that it would be beyond repair. I knew at the time I hadn't thought of the consequences but now they crept up on me in the strangest of moments, this being one of them.

What would it have really been like to snap her neck in that second and watch her crumple to the ground? Would I have survived such an act?

Physically I would have been condemned to always run from the after effects. Charlie would have had me instantly blamed, which would have been the truth. That would then lead to the Cullens having to face the consequences with me, whether that was me being sent to jail and escaping or running constantly from the law. Either way it would hold a risk of exposure.

When I thought of it completely, the law wasn't the only thing we would be running from. The wolves had a vested interest in Bella's safety and that meant if I had fallen over the edge and submerged myself into my darker side, then the wolves would want revenge no matter if they had a history with the Cullens. I would have killed an innocent human and that would mean I would have to be punished.

The physical consequences were bad enough but the emotional ones made my stomach squirm. I could only imagine the state I would be left in once the thrill of the fury wore off. It would be like the human version of adrenaline deficit and shock. I wouldn't be me anymore. Bella's ghost would always have haunted me, and that in itself would have been enough for me to have changed.

I never dealt with problems well, my history with Edward and Jack had enough evidence of that.

How would Edward have coped with my guilt ridden form? Would he have even felt any need to cope? After all I would have taken something that was his. I could only imagine the betrayal and disappointment he would have felt knowing that his own mate had killed his singer in cold blood and selfish anger.

The squirming feeling in my stomach turned into a dry ache when I thought of how much I could have risked and all for that blasted buzz that the venom gave me. I was no better than a drug addict, loving the thrill too much to see the world clearly around me.

I knew that the venom didn't have to be a negative thing. Mine and Edward's intimate relationship showed me that the buzz wasn't just triggered by anger, but it wasn't the trigger that was the problem. It was the fact that when anger raged in me I could feel myself disappearing and changing into something so much darker than my usual self. I didn't like to think that anger ruled me rather than the other way round, especially when I had always been so in control of my emotions.

The bell rang and I smiled weakly at Bella as she gave me a wave passing out the door.

How could I have ever thought of ending her life, and especially in such a cruel way? I took a deep breath and made my way out the classroom.

Usually Edward would be waiting for me at the door but I smiled in relief that he wasn't there; instead I could see him leaning casually against my locker at the other end of the corridor.

Sometimes I wondered if he actually could read my mind and just pretended for my own sake, because he always seemed to know when I needed some time to think or just be alone. Even at home when we could spend endless amount of time together, he knew when I wanted my own time to clear my head and think without any distractions. Especially since he was the main distraction.

I smiled as I came closer to him, seeming to glide through the bustling students as he studied me carefully.

I knew he would read my buzzing mind all over my being. He knew me too well for me to hide anything for him. It had been bothering him since the night we met Torran.

I hadn't let myself really think about it all because there either wasn't a time or a place. However, it was still there boiling below my surface and Edward knew it.

Thankfully he hadn't asked me to explain because I couldn't. I didn't understand the strange fascination I had with Torran and his haunting memories, and I didn't want him to know about the guilt I felt for Bella. I didn't want him to know about how close I had come to becoming a true monster. Edward always claimed to be a monster but to me he was anything but. He had never killed an innocent.

"Hey," Edward said as he placed a soft kiss on my lips.

When he pulled back he searched my eyes intensely as if he was reading the black marks on my soul that were the remnants of the guilt that was plaguing me.

"What's going on in that beautiful mind of yours?" He asked as he stroked a thumb over my cheek, for some reason I couldn't look him in the eyes. The wretched memory of what could have happened was finally at my surface after days of burying it away. It was making me feel secretive and disloyal, yet I hadn't even done anything.

"Edward, can we just skip next class? Maybe just stop and watch the clouds. I just want to be still for a moment." As I spoke I pulled him towards the exit and he followed without another word. I knew I was worrying him with my cryptic phrases, but I wanted to just stop and be still in the hope that the babbling rush in my mind would slow to a point that I could talk him through the mess.

I didn't want to be the same old Holly I used to be where I never told anybody of the things going on in my mind, but I just needed somewhere better than a busy corridor to do it.

Some of the claustrophobic buzzing in my brain erased when I stepped out into the fresh Forks air.

We walked in silence towards a small gathering of bushes that clustered near the edge of the forest.

Edward watched me intensely as I lay peacefully in the cushion like grass.

"Holly, please tell me. I know something is bothering you and has been for a while now." Edward was beside me propped up on his elbow.

I watched the fluffy clouds above us as they swirled in various shades of white and grey.

"You know, I used to do this in the other world. I used to go to my cove and sit watching the world go by. It's probably strange but I liked escaping everyday life and just feeling insignificant." I glanced at Edward and I could see the worry and confusion below his calm mask.

He didn't speak so I took his silence as a prompt to continue.

"I'm not insignificant here, Edward. In fact I have the ability to significantly change this place and not in a good way." Edward's hand brushed against mine and I closed my eyes briefly against what I was about to tell him. Part of me didn't want him to know what could have happened. I didn't want to see him looking at me in shock or disgust at knowing I could have given in so easily and destroyed something he felt a need to protect.

"Edward. What would you have done if I had killed Bella?" The question clung to my throat as I spoke as if it knew that releasing it into the air could be a mistake.

I felt the breeze ruffled my hair as I lay with my eyes closed and with it Edward's scent played on my taste buds reminding me of what I had risked in my moment of fury.

"Nothing. I would have done nothing." His words were soft, and I sighed sadly knowing that really I had asked the wrong question. It was easy for him to say that because he could have done nothing. It would have been over too quickly.

"Perhaps I asked the wrong question. What I meant was what would you have felt? For Bella, for us, for me," I asked, and I waited with baited breath as he stared into my eyes.

"I would have loved you," He whispered, and I searched everything about him to find any sign of the resignation I expected. The resignation that would show that although he loved me it would have been harder than it had been before.

I had been so sure that resignation would have been there but it wasn't. There was nothing there but love.

I felt an acidic tear trail down my cheek and Edward caught it instantly. I sniffled pathetically and smiled up at his soft lovely eyes.

"Do you realise how close it came? Alice saw it."I whispered, and I waited for the shock and surprise.

Like the resignation, it never came.

"I know, Holly. Alice called me." Edward smiled knowing that I was starting to surface from myself inflicted melancholy.

"You knew and yet you didn't think it would be a good idea to come chain me to a tree or something?!"Edward chuckled at my exclamation, playing with a strand of my hair that curled around his finger.

"I trust you, Holly. Completely. I knew you weren't going to do anything. But if it worries you so much, then I promise you that I will always be here to save you from do anything that would cause you to disappear from me. Even if it means holding you captive." I basked in his loving stare and felt the wide grin of relief spreading across my face.

"There's my Holly." He leant over to place a deep and passionate kiss on my waiting lips and I returned it with everything I had in me.

As I flicked my tongue over Edward's lower lip I felt his body react instantly and a moan slipped from his busy mouth.

"There's my Edward" I giggled.

I always did like Edward's version of extra-curricular activities.

Forty minutes later I said goodbye to Edward at the classroom door to my maths class and bounced happily to my seat next to Alice and Jasper.

"Holly. Hair," Alice stated and I reached up blushing as a leaf fluttered to the ground.

Alice just giggled and Jasper gave me a wink once he registered the left over giddy feeling racing through my body. His gesture only made my blush deepen. Having an Empath for a brother really sucked at times.

* * * * *

I sat gazing upon the beautiful sight of Esme twirling in her emerald floor length dress, causing it to swirl around her feet from where the skirt flared out around her petite waist. The cut was sophisticated enough for her to fulfil her role as mother but also sexy enough to suit her young age.

It had been decided that Esme and Carlisle would be attending the prom with us as chaperones. It only seemed fair since they had never had the chance to experience such an event and the rest of us would be going. It seemed a shame that they missed out on these kinds of youthful experiences just because they had to play the role of adoptive parents.

I knew they didn't mind, and we certainly all saw them as our guardians and, in the case of the others, parents. However, to me they were much more friends than parents at the moment. I still had parents, so it felt right for them to attend prom with us and come along clubbing afterwards. They were still only in their mid twenties so they would fit in perfectly, just like the rest of us would.

Alice clapped happily as Esme spun, luxuriating in the feel of the emerald satin against her skin and catching the light.

"It's beautiful, Esme. The colour is gorgeous," I praised and Esme grinned.

"I feel like I'm going to a ball, just like we used to." She sighed in comfort, and Rosalie turned from the mirror where she had been admiring her reflection.

"It's the perfect dress for the sexy chaperone. Carlisle won't be able to keep his eyes off you." Esme giggled, and Rosalie smiled before going back to indulging her vanity in the large mirror.

Alice had already given Rose her dress and as always she looked stunning. It was a slinky silver number reminiscent of the 1930's gowns. The cut was biased to show off her lean curves, flaring out gently from just above her knees where it then settled in a pool at her feet. The back was sumptuously scooped to the point that any lower and she would be no longer showing just her back.

I would be amazed if a trail of boys drool didn't form wherever she walked at prom.

"So, Alice, just curious but am I going to prom in actual clothes or just my birthday suit, because...." I flapped my arms up and down my current outfit of black sweat shorts and ACDC tee. It was hardly going to win me any prizes as belle of the ball.

"Have you never heard of the emperor's new clothes?" Rosalie giggled and I shot her a playful glare.

"I hate to say this, Holly. Really hate it, but your prom dress is out of my control," Alice said and she flopped her hand dramatically over her eyes in faked despair.

"What do you mean, out of your control? Who's control is it in exactly?" I looked between Alice, Rose and Esme in confusion trying to rat out the mystery.

"That would be Edward's." Alice said in a hushed tone, though I don't know why she bothered because the boys were out hunting, apparently they didn't enjoy dress talk that much. That and Alice had ordered them away so that they wouldn't see the dresses. That is, Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett wouldn't see the dresses; Edward obviously had nothing to be hidden from.

My mind started to fly at the ideas of what could have made Edward decide to steal Alice's control and face whatever bribe or fury he would have to endure. One thing was for sure, he certainly didn't go for the easy option.

"Alright, Alice, you must be practically buzzing to show us your dress. So get your tush in that closet and show us what you got." As soon as the words left my mouth she had leapt out of sight into the masses of clothes.

Rosalie quickly flicked on the music player and gave me and Esme a wink before joining us on the raspberry coloured chaise longue while we waited for Alice to reveal her new favourite dress.

"We're waiting, Alice. Come out and work it!" I yelled and the two beautifully dressed women on either side of me giggled. I really felt like a horror sitting here in messed up pyjamas whilst they lounged in couture.

The dance style tunes played out and Alice flashed in front of us with a bright smile on her face as she strutted down towards us. Her petite body was clad in a vivid pink structured dress that was angular in a way that showed off each of her defined features. The front plunged in a deep V following the clean cut angles.

She pouted better than any super model before turning and swaying her hips perfectly in time with the music, the dress fitted into a pencil style that stopped at her knees.

"Woo!" We all cheered and giggled as they each took turns to show off their outfit on the catwalk. I even took a shot looking like an idiot swishing my hair provocatively whilst I stood in what could easily pass as a slob's uniform.

I knew Edward had taste and I couldn't wait to wear the dress he had chosen, if only there was a way to see it before the night...

* * * * *

I lay on my bed with my sketch book in hand. The guys had returned around midnight and we'd spent a couple of hours messing about outside in the moonlight. Watching the boys wrestle, or in my case, joining in now and then. Though Emmett easily beat me this time, he had taken to just distracting my angry state with memories of him and Rose doing the nasty together. It was amazing how an unwanted sex scene appearing in your head could kill your anger in a second.

It seemed that my gift was starting to increase in its frequency. I could now easily pick up on the Cullen's memories when they thought of them. It wasn't often but they each let me practice tonight. They filled their minds with a mix of memories and thoughts so I could test to see if I could still see the memories even though I wasn't focussed on them.

I had found out that I was at the stage that I could feel several memories present in my mind, but I could choose which one to focus on. It was like each one gave off a vibe of emotion, or a short preview of what it held, so that I could decide which ones I wanted to zone out and which one I wanted to fill my mind. My gift was similar to Edward's in the way that there wasn't really an off switch. There was always something there if it was being thought by someone. It wasn't irritating or overwhelming but it meant my mind never had a moment of complete silence.

It was nice to have a bit more control over my gift and it was even fun to feel that its strength was building, knowing that I wouldn't have the same unnerving feeling of having my mind interrupted without my say so.

If only it was possible for my mind to stop itself from being interrupted by my own thoughts.

Ever since my talk with Edward earlier I had cleared myself of all the guilt I felt about Bella. That meant that my mind was now free to taunt me with my strange fascination for Torran.

I looked down at the sketch I had been doing and huffed when I realised the fallen angel that knelt at the feet of a mortal held far too much resemblance to Torran.

I didn't want to think about him in such a curious way. I knew it was just based on the sad memories of that girl that he had unknowingly forced into my mind, there was no other explanation for it. I certainly didn't feel any attraction to him, and I didn't know enough about him for it to be based on his personality.

I didn't know why I felt this intrigue for him. I felt like I had to understand the relationship he had with that girl. I had to know why the memory of her hurt him so much and what happened to her for her to be a memory and not with him.

As I thought of him I felt the same echo of his emotions that had accompanied his memory, the feeling of being empty and only half alive. No one should feel that way.

I felt a twinge of sadness when I thought of Edward. Had he ever felt that way? In the years that he was alone, did he feel like he wasn't truly living life to its fullest?

These weren't the only thoughts I had concerning Edward. What would he think if he knew of my interest in Torran? Would he be jealous, just as he had been of Connor?

I ripped the sketch from my book and scrunched it up, throwing it across the room. I wouldn't let Torran infiltrate my mind anymore, because I wouldn't want him to come anywhere near mine and Edward's relationship.

I got up from my bed and padded through to Edward's room where my eyes set upon him lounging on his black leather couch, with the moon lit forest as his back drop.

He looked up at me instantly and shut the book he had been reading, placing it on the wonky pile beside him.

My boy liked his organised mess just as much as me.

"Hey, lover, any room for little old me?" He scooted up and I curled up on the black leather, snuggling into him.

"So...I know your little secret."I purred in his ear and he chuckled trailing his long pianist fingers on my bare leg. I really did love those fingers, it was a strange body part to like but I didn't usually follow convention.

"And what would that be?"

"Well, I could be wrong, but a little pixie told me that you're in charge of my prom dress." I grinned and he quirked an eyebrow in the same way that left me warm and fuzzy.

"She did, did she? I should have known not to have trusted a pixie," He said and amusement played in his eyes.

"Do I get to see it?" He chuckled but shook his head earning him a ruffled of his thick bronze hair.

"Can you at least describe it? So I can imagine something other than my birthday suit," I said hopefully, running persuasive patterns on his t-shirt clad chest.

"Nope. Although this birthday suit sounds a much better idea," He whispered, popping the 'p' on nope. I sighed as he placed a kiss on my neck but the sigh soon turned into a yawn as tiredness started to slip over me. It was about four in the morning and although I was nearing exhaustion I would only need a couple hours of sleep before I was back to my usual perky self and good to go for another couple of days without sleep.

"Come on, sleeping beauty," Edward said and in a swift motion he had scooped me up bridal style and placed me carefully on the bed.

His body pinned mine and he placed two soft kisses over each of my eyelids. I bathed in the romance before I giggled as he kissed goodnight to my breasts through my t-shirt.

"You are such a guy." I giggled and he winked at me.

"Well, they have been calling to me all day."

"Hmmm. You can have a proper reunion in the morning, right now it's snooze time for Holly. That means all of me, chest included." I curled on my side and felt Edward settled down next to me, wrapping himself around me so we made the perfect big spin little spoon combination.

I took one last lazy glance ahead of me and saw the scrunched up ball of my sketch ahead of me.

Hopefully in the morning the confusion of today would be left behind.

**A/N: Review, pretty please with a cherry on top :P ??**


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: Sorry it's late, I'm not going to go into the whole 'complicated life' thing. Anyway There was just a lot of 'stuff' to write out and I wasn't sure how I would get things to fit in.**

**xx**

So this was it, the big day.

Graduation and prom mania had landed in a big way and Alice, Edward and I had taken great pleasure in getting pictures of rose, Emmet and Jasper in their very pretty graduation gowns. In all seriousness I would have to make a serious attempt at having the graduation gowns changed from yellow to something easier to carry off because if Rose couldn't make the colour work then I stood no chance.

We hadn't been allowed to skip class to see them graduate, but Esme had gone snap happy as usual and no doubt there would be plenty of evidence for me to peruse once everything had settled down after prom. There was no way I was missing the chance to see Emmett dressed up in something that made him look more like a menacing banana than a muscled immortal graduate.

The last school day had passed in a blur. Prom votes were cast and class celebrations were enjoyed, so now I was casually searching Edward's room for my prom dress while the rest of the family got ready in their own private way. By 'casually searching' I meant that I had ransacked every crevice in this place and also moved around a few pieces of furniture in the process, still no dress. Not even a speck of dust so kudos to Esme and her cleaning skills.

"Looking for something, love?" His quiet musical voice was at my ear, and I spun instantly to look into his smirking face. He was already dressed in his black and white tuxedo suit looking like some kind of otherworldly GQ model.

"You liked the birthday suit idea too much didn't you? You've destroyed my dress and now you've come to coerce me into being happy about my public nudity." As I spoke his eyes glimmered and his hands slowly grasped mine.

"As tempting as this night of nudity sounds, I fear it would end in Chief Swan cutting prom short and I intend on dancing the night away with you so..." My smile grew as he reached just outside his door.

He produced an outfit but it wasn't the one I was imagining I would be wearing on my prom night. Two scraps of pearly cream satin and lace lingerie hung on the hanger, tiny crystals embedded into the fabric on the strapless bra to add a luxurious twinkle while the underwear had petite ribbons on either side.

"Thank the lord and Victoria secret, but you do realise this is only a mild improvement on the whole nudity thing." I reached towards the garments and ran my hands over the beautiful craftsmanship. They were truly gorgeous.

"This is step one. So if you don't mind..." He nudged his head towards his small walk in closet. I picked the hanger off his extended hand and gave him a wink as I sauntered in.

I knew he probably thought it would be a simple get change then wait in the closet for the next piece of the outfit puzzle, but I thought it was only fair to show him how his purchases looked. So once I had the underwear on I took great pleasure in peeping my bare leg out of his closet before slinking out to see his eyes settle on me in an appreciative manner. I spun slowly, smirking when I heard his small groan at the rear view the panties gave him.

"So what's next?" I asked him innocently, and he gave me a devilish grin before producing a pair of heels that almost looked like they were made to match the lingerie. I felt my inner shoe freak drool at the sky scraper stiletto heels. They were heavenly.

"May I?" Edward got down on one knee in front of me, the first shoe held out towards me. I slipped my foot in and giggled slightly as Edward's cool lips placed a kiss on the inside of my knee while his hands caressed my calf.

He followed the same loving routine with the other shoe until I stood before him in just heels and lingerie while he looked up at me from his position on his knees.

My heart fluttered when I realised I rather liked him in that position.

A flash of desire followed the flutter and I had to take a deep breath to steady myself. Now was the time for putting clothes on, not taking them off.

Edward rose from his position slowly, never leaving my gaze as his eyes burned with hot fire.

"Are you ready for the grand finale? The moment you've been waiting for?" My tongue shot out to lick my lips at the images his voice was giving me, especially when he knew what he was doing. He knew exactly what I had been waiting for, the only thing I'll be waiting for 'til our wedding night, so he knew what was running through my mind.

I stayed silent and he eventually revealed a dress that nearly stopped my heart. The way the pale pink silk fell and looked almost fluid even in its immobile state. The way the scattered sparkles made the dress look like it was made for angels or fairies; although the deep v clarified they wouldn't be very modest fairies. It was a halter neck with a pastel pink ribbon sash tying in a luscious bow that trickled down the lowly scooped back.

I clutched the dress and spun happily once I eased my body into it.

It lay on my every curve in a delicious manner, hugging my waist due to its almost corseted underlying structure, but flared prettily just above my knees. I twirled into Edward's arms and gave him a thank you kiss while his palms ran on the large expanse of exposed skin on my back. It was just low enough to be revealing but not too low that it would show my bra strap. Edward had obviously excelled on his fashion skills when picking out this ensemble.

I turned towards the mirror to start on the finishing touches but Edward's hand twirled me back towards him.

"One last thing." His eyes twinkled as he produced a black velvet box.

I glanced between the ominous package and Edward's twinkling eyes, suspicion coating my face.

"Edward..." I murmured as he picked up my left hand and brought it towards him.

"Holly," he replied, amusement thick on his tongue.

I held my breath as he opened the box to reveal a delicate silver and dusty pink glittering flower charm.

"I thought you could wear it on your Holly bracelet instead of the more traditional corsage." He clipped it into place and I marvelled at the way the open flower shimmered and glittered in the light.

"It's beautiful, but please don't tell me this is made of diamonds because that is a lot of money to spend." I stroked the sparkling surface, rotating my wrist to see how it sat gently with my other charms.

"OK, I won't tell you." Edward smirked placing a kiss on my hand.

"Edward Cullen, I love you but this is obscenely expensive for a prom gift."

"You're worth every penny. Now we had better hurry, Alice is ready to self-combust."

It didn't take me long to do my hair and makeup. I wasn't as intricate as Alice probably would have been but it felt nice to do it myself for a change. I left my make up light and shimmering while my hair was roughly pinned up in a tousled up-do, tendrils tickling my face as my waves tried to break free.

Eventually we were all downstairs taking pictures while Alice squealed in excitement. This was the night she had been waiting for and her pleasure at seeing everyone dressed up in her choices was making her practically hum with satisfaction.

"Come on! Come on! It'll be starting soon!" She said as she buzzed between our congregated group and the front door. Jasper grasped her hand as she came back to us.

"Alright, darlin'. See you guys in a few." Jasper and Alice exited the door and shortly we heard the revving engine of the Volvo before it tore door the driveway.

"You're letting them drive your precious Volvo?" I quirked my eyebrow at Edward and rolled his eyes before leading me to the garage.

"We are travelling in the Vanquish, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett will be in the Mercedes." Edward explained as I looked back in confusion.

The idea of sitting in the Vanquish made my mind do a little happy dance. Since those dark days of sans Edward my love of cars had increased thanks to Rosalie. I couldn't wait to settle into the glorious leather seats and hear the powerful purr of the engine.

I sighed in appreciation as the beautiful machine came into view.

"You like?" Edward said with a smirk in his voice.

"A lot. I should really learn how to drive..." The ideas of having a car like this of my own flitted through my mind, and I grinned subconsciously at the feeling the speed would give me.

Edward opened my door as usual and I sunk into mechanical heaven.

Edward started the car and the engine revved with a delicious growl. I grinned at the wink Edward threw me and in a flash we were off, fishtailing out the garage and racing towards the night we would both no doubt remember.

It would be the perfect night to end what has been a perfect few months of loving bliss.

* * * * *

The looks on the other students' faces when Edward and I arrived in his flashy Vanquish were priceless, even more so when he opened my door and we walked up the white walk way towards the entrance. The school had really gone all out on decorations but of course it still looked very much like a school dance. Balloons of white, silver and black bobbed in the air or were pinned to walls, while white frothy streamers and drapes hung around the walls and ceiling, trying to disguise the sports timetables or chipped brickwork.

Edward and I posed as we were meant to at the entrance, getting our prom photo like everyone else. As I saw the digital display of our photo I felt a strange feeling of relief. We didn't look like an oddly match couple. Perhaps it was my boosted self esteem or the venom hidden in my veins, but we just fit. I didn't feel inferior or unworthy standing next to Edward, I just felt like it was exactly where I was meant to be.

"Should we hunt down Alice and Jazz, or pretend to be normal and social and get a drink?" I smirked at Edward as we looked around the bustling hall.

All the girls were dressed to impress while the boys hung about in their suits, obviously uncomfortable at the stuffy uniform.

"The punch is spiked with alcohol, so perhaps simple socialising is best. We can find the rest of the family later." His palm rested on my lower back as he guided me through the crowd, gaining several envious looks from those we passed. The girls all wanted Edward and the guys all wanted Edward's ability to have the girls all wanting him. It was quite amusing once you got past the awkwardness of being gawped at.

We made our way through the crowd, stopping to talk with people now and then. Well I talked to people, Edward didn't offer much conversation but I couldn't blame him. It was only Ben and Angela who we actually talked to properly while Jessica and Mike just babbled on about how cool it was to see everyone in their dresses or what they were planning over summer. Now and then Edward would pull me a little closer to him, probably reacting to certain thoughts but all in all it was fun. Just relaxed and social, nothing playing on our minds. Torran didn't even register in my thoughts and I couldn't have been happier that my mind's fascination with him had vanished as I hoped it would.

"Bella's here," Edward said into my ear, there was a small amount of uncertainty in his thoughts, as if he wasn't sure if I would either want to know Bella was here or if I would want to know that he knew she was here.

"Is she here with Jake?" I asked excitedly as I scanned the busy hall. I could hear shuffling footsteps quietly amongst the other noises but I couldn't quite pin down the direction.

"Yes, they're over by the punch bowl." We moved through the crowd, nodding to various people as we went until I finally saw Bella standing in a deep purple prom dress. It was strap less and swung in a satiny bell shape down to her knees. She had flats on as usual but they were pretty and patent black which set off her pale skin tone.

"Hey, Bella. I'd stay away from the punch if I were you. Apparently Tyler's been at it with his hipflask" I touched her arm to get her attention and she spun quickly, her chocolate curls fanning out before settling down, tucked behind a shiny black hair band.

"Hi. Erm, Holly this is Jake. Jake this is Holly and Edward." She waved shyly towards Jake who stood next to her in a white shirt and black trousers, a black skinny tie loosely knotted around his neck. He certainly didn't have the same flawless appearance as Edward but in a way his relaxed style fitted Bella more than Edward tuxedoed up figure. Although Edward definitely looked good in a tux, maybe too good.

Jake nodded towards Edward and me, giving me a slightly warmer glance than Edward. I smirked as I remembered our little staring game.

"So, you having fun so far?" I asked, trying to stop any silence from falling between us.

"Yeah, it's OK. I mean it's prom." Bella blushed and I nodded knowing exactly what she meant. She glanced serruptisciously at Edward and I let the faint in her eyes slide. We had come to a truce but that didn't mean her feelings for Edward would just vanish instantly, it would take time. Maybe even after time she would still look at him with an inkling of longing, it didn't matter because it was no different to any of the other girls.

_Be my prince and save me from the awkward silence._ I thought towards Edward.

"Have you got plans for the summer?" Edward asked politely and I nudged his side in appreciation.

"I think I'm going to Florida in a couple of weeks, see my mom. Escape Forks for a while. What about you two?" Bella smiled as she spoke about her mother and I cringed against the memory of my parent's struggles.

I had seen them earlier today just after school, mainly to check if it was OK for us all to come through the house later and go into town. It was lucky I went when I had because they were leaving for a small break down in Bath. It seemed life hadn't gotten any easy and they were taking a few days off to escape. To run from their troubles, the troubles I had dragged into their lives then abandoned them with. Really could I have been anymore self-centred to just think I could leave and enjoy my life, that their life would just return to normal as if my 'death' had never happened?

Edward's hand drew tickling patterns on my spine and my doubting thoughts soon wiped clear.

"I believe Alice has a shopping trip planned for Holly." Edward smirked down at me and my shocked face. I knew Alice was planning _something_ but I didn't think she would be sneaky enough to kidnap me against my will and take me shopping. I had been traumatised enough by the last time.

"My little sister is coming to visit as well for a while. Maybe I can switch her with myself on Alice's shopping trip. She'd probably keep up better." I grinned when I thought of Ashleigh. I couldn't wait to have her in the same house again.

"I didn't know you had a sister." Bella commented and Jake's eyes were just as interested. It was just another thing we had neglected to tell the pack. As far as they knew my family lived in this world and were oblivious to my existence, then again that was just their assumption therefore it was their fault if it was a surprise.

"Yeah, she's fifteen and a complete fashion fiend. It'll be nice seeing her again properly." I smiled and Edward nudged my side.

"They're about to call the prom king and prom queen so we should probably find the others."

"See you later, Bella and it's been nice seeing you Jake." With that we left and wove back through the crowd until we found the rest of the family gathered in the far corner. Carlisle and Esme were beaming together, obviously excited at experiencing a classic prom tradition.

I had to admit I was pretty excited too, although not as much as Alice. She practically had to be held in place by Jasper, otherwise I'm sure she would have taken off into orbit.

In the end I had voted for Connor and Bella. It was perhaps an odd choice but I didn't exactly take my voting responsibilities that seriously.

The principal stepped up onto the stage and I grinned at Edward as he held me in his arms.

"OK ladies and gentlemen, I believe this is the moment you've all been waiting for. The prom king for the class of 2005 is....." He paused for dramatic effect and I stifled a giggle at the anticipation rolling off the crowd.

"CONNOR NORTH!" Cheers erupted and me and the rest clapped like everyone else.

I was really just waiting for it all to be over and for the dance floor to be free.

Connor paraded up to the stage and posed egoistically with his plastic crown on, bowing and flexing his muscles to gain laughter and cheers from his classmates.

He wasn't the school stud as such but he was well liked and it was nice to see the popularity vote hadn't gone to Mike as everyone suspected.

"And now, ladies. The crown you all want. The prom queen is...." The girls titivated as still silence spilled out over the hall.

"Holly Jules!"

_Oh dear god, no_ I grumbled, opening my mind ot Edward, maybe he would save me from this humiliation. He didn't, instead I heard his strained chuckled in my ear.

"Go get your crown, love." He whispered and Alice was pushing me towards the stage as I dragged my feet reluctantly.

"You seriously have to be kidding me. I've only been here a couple of months." I hissed at her but she ignored my complaints and giggled skipping back to Jasper.

I climbed the stairs and finally stood centre stage, looking out over the smiling face as the principal slipped the tiara onto my head.

"And now our king and queen will have their first dance."

I nearly choked and sent a shocked look towards Edward who was standing with the family not looking too pleased. I could hear Emmett's booming laughter and glared at him and Jasper as they snickered. Even Carlisle had a grin on his face.

_Edward, remind me to ask Jasper and Emmett who they voted for..._ I hissed in my mind and Edward's expression formed a smirk, though it was fleeting on his disgruntled expression.

Connor took my hand proudly and paraded me down to the centre of the dance floor when a spotlight pooled, illuminating our figures. No way to hide, great.

"You look really pretty tonight, Holly," he said as he awkwardly arranged our arms into position, mine around his neck and his in a barely respectable place of resting at the base of my back

"Thank you, Connor, you look nice, nice suit." I said as we began to move to the music. We were basically just swaying from side to side in time with the music's rhythm.

"Thanks, it's my dad's." He grinned.

"I think we make a good king and queen, don't you." He said slipping his hands a little lower.

"I never expected to win. I thought Jess or Lauren would." I replied, trying to divert the conversation away from what a great couple we made.

I could see Edward fuming just behind our dancing forms. He was on the edge of the circle that surrounded us and I kept my eyes focussed on his.

_Edward, chill out. It's just a dance._

"I'm glad it was you. I think we're really good together, you know." Connor slurred slightly and I could smell the alcohol on his breath as he leant a little too close. Tyler had obviously shared his alcohol supply and from what I could smell it was vodka, the cheap stuff.

His hands slipped down onto my rear and I cleared my throat awkwardly.

"Connor, you're very sweet but I'm with Edward, so if you don't mind moving your hands..._Otherwise I will remove them for you_" I stared into his eyes so he got the point that I wasn't joking. I relaxed when his hands crept back up to their starting point. I could hear Emmett and Jasper still snickering at my misfortune. If I found out they had voted for me they would feel some serious pain, bad Holly would come out to play. Emmett's ego could do with a little bashing.

"Do you mind if I cut in, Connor?" Edward asked and Connor flinched, staring wide eyed at Edward, who stood right beside us in the now filling dance floor.

"What...Uh ...sure, sorry, I didn't see you there," Connor mumbled, unlatching his arms from around me and walking away half-heartedly.

"Thank you for saving me, but could you have been a little less intimidating?" I teased as Edward's arms wound around me while the next song started playing. It was a Frank Sinatra - witchcraft, a classic, he twirled us in perfect rhythm and style.

"I don't think so." Edward smirked in response, and I chuckled as we swayed gracefully around the room while my dress fluttered into the air with each turn, the diamonds catching the light now and then to shoot a flash of light.

"I guess I can't really blame him for his less desirable thoughts, after all I did dress you up into this irresistible state." Edward teased, his palm skimming the curve of my waist.

"Yes, what were you thinking?" I returned, grinning.

"Perhaps I wasn't. You seem to have that effect on me, Miss Jules. Complete bewitchment." He slowed our dancing, dipping his head to place a much desired kiss on my lips while his hands wound around my waist. Hoisting me up from the floor and spinning us as the song ended, Frank Sinatra crooning the final line,

_There's no nicer witch then you..._

"Excuse me, Mr Cullen." A foreign voice interrupted us as we stood in our embrace.

Edward growled lowly in my ear, too low to be heard by human ears but enough for me to register his annoyance at our interruption.

We turned to look over a short man with a bald patch and round glasses, one of the chaperones.

"There is to be no fornicating on the dance floor. If it happens again you will be removed from the prom." The little man said and Edward rolled his eyes as we turned away to continue our dance.

"Small man syndrome?" I enquired.

"Indeed." Edward sighed. I looked toward the dance floor; a wide gap had formed in the centre of the floor, where two couples whirled gracefully. The other dancers pressed to the sides of the room to give them space – no one wanted to stand in contrast with such radiance. Emmett and Jasper were intimidating and flawless in their classic tuxedos, although I chuckled when Emmett flashed me grin to show his amusement at the situation.

Edward dipped me at the beginning of '_Fly me to the Moon by Frank Sinatra'_ I laughed lightly and we went back to dancing the night away.

* * * * *

The music changed to popular chart stuff which Alice, Rosalie and I danced to happily. Swaying our hips and letting go, Jessica, Angela and bell even joined us much to Alice's excitement. She was practically purring at being able to enjoy the human event like a human.

Eventually, the slow songs came to wind down the night and I swayed gently in Edward's arms, sneaking kisses when 'small man syndrome' guy wasn't lurking and watching with beady eyes. He had already caught us a few more times but Carlisle and Esme had intervened and we'd snuck away again.

As the song changed yet again I felt Jasper's presence beside us.

"Could I steal a dance?" Edward smiled and released me into Jasper's arms.

"So, have you enjoyed prom, prom queen?" Jasper smiled as he glanced towards the tiara sparkling on my head.

"It's been nice, but I'm certainly ready to have a break from the whole high school thing."

"I certainly know what you mean." Jasper smirked and I chuckled.

We swayed in comfortable contemplation while Carlisle and Esme spun around us, enjoying a break from their chaperoning duties.

"This is certainly different since the last time we danced." Jasper commented, remembering the distraught state I had been in at the Valentine dance.

"Yeah, it is. I can't thank you enough for that, Jasper. I know it was hard on you." I murmured and he gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

"There's nothin' to thank me for, Hols," I nodded smiling and grinned as Jasper spun me gently while Ethel Waters sang the soft notes of _Stormy Weather._

"I'm proud of you, Hols. You've really pulled through." His eyes were filled with friendly warmth and that lit me up with happiness. Jasper was always a bit quieter but he had been there with me when I needed his help most.

"Well it helps having you all around me. I feel like I've finally found my place in the world, even if it isn't my _original_ world." Jasper grinned and nodded in understanding.

The song ended and the lights started to switch on to signal the end of prom. I watched in amusement as all the girl's groaned and gasped, covering up their slightly smudged make up and dance loosened hair.

"Come on sis, let's go dance 'til dawn." Jasper said and I quickly whipped off my tiara, placing it in his golden hair.

"Whatever you say, Princess." I chuckled as we walked towards the waiting family, smiling when Jasper removed the tiara and placed it on Alice head. She looked like a perfect little princess, add some wings and a tutu and it would be easy to mistake her for a fairy the way she flitted around the group gracefully with her excitement for the next half of the night.

The first part of the night to remember was over, but anticipation raced in my veins at the thought of what was next.

Debauchery, here we come...

**A/N: To quote Edward: 'Tell me what your thinking.'**


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: I had a lot of fun with this chapter and it was pretty much written with a constant stream of music playing. I highly recommend listening to the mentioned songs when your reading just because number 1 they are awesome and number 2 it'll really help with the 'feel' of the chapter :P**

**Huge thank you's to my awesome reviwers out there, muchos love to you all!**

**x**

"Welcome to my world," I breathed as we passed through the red velvet curtain of Désir. It swirled behind us before blocking us off from the cool northern air and locking us in this new hot, humid atmosphere. The club fit its name perfectly in every respect, from the luxuriant deep blood red and black decor to the way the music sent pounding vibrations through your body.

It was around midnight since prom had turned out to be more fun than Rosalie had expected. However, here we were, dressed in our own clothes (no Alice interference) and staring out at the pulsing dance floor, pure desire oozing off it and setting the atmosphere alight as it clouded in the air. I didn't need Jasper's gift to register the emotions of the people in the room. Every move that was made was steady, searching and tempting. It was an enticing smorgasbord of everything I had loved when I was purely human. I may have been relatively quiet in public, but this world was where my inner vixen came out to play. I had relished in those moments.

I breathed in the deep aromas of sweat, fruity alcohol, perfume, and something. A smile curved up on my lips as the same buzz came back to me as it always had whenever me and the girls went out. It was anticipation of what fun could be reaped from the night and tonight I had a feeling all my expectations would be blown out the water. Edward alone exceeded previous expectations.

He was dressed in a pair of black worn jeans, black leather loafers, and a simple black shirt. He was a vision in black, every inch of him in vibrant contrast with the dark outfit. It seemed like his eyes glittered, pulling me into their depths like sticky honey. All the while his hair was in the perfect artful disarray that made my fingertips itch deviously. He made the bad boy lover in me resurface wit ha vengeance.

I felt his hand at the base of my back as we walked through the club, searching for a table to steal for the night. Not that I intended on spending much time at it. I wouldn't be drinking since we had no idea how it would affect me, and I had every intention of dancing the night away.

Emmett's large body acted like a battering ram as we moved through the crowd, gaining a few gawping stares from the odd human that wasn't sober enough to monitor their expression.

A group of four guys walked passed us as we made it to our table.

"Oh man, did you see those four?" one said.

"Fuck, yeah. God, that blond was incredible."

I realized that they were talking about me, Alice, Esme and Rose. I couldn't help but giggle. I had never garnered much attention when I was out with my girls; it was usually Jemma and Rianna. However, this realisation wasn't the only reason for my reaction; the look on Emmett's face was hilarious and deadly at the same time. He was quite obviously pissed and the way he clutched Rose a little closer reeked of possession.

I glanced toward Edward and saw a similar look on his face. In a blast of confidence I twisted his face to mine and planted a firm passionate kiss on his slightly stunned lips.

"Holly, you coming to dance?" Alice asked and I pulled away from mine and Edward's kiss, giving his lower lip a playful nip.

"Ciao, baby. Dance floor's calling." I grinned and took Alice's waiting hand as she fidgeted excitedly. We practically skipped toward the dance floor and I giggled at Alice's enthusiasm. She had really gone full throttle with the clubbing idea. Her little body was tightly packed into black leather hot pants and gold loose swing top. She was several inches taller with her feet clad in four inch killer black heels but she still barely reached my shoulder. Her outfit was daring but not so much that it would attract too much attention for being too outrageous, then again we alone gained enough attention just by being what we were.

I wasn't dressed in as little as Alice but my body was clad in a tight fitting little dark mulberry coloured dress. The back was the main feature because it had geometric cut outs to expose the expanse of my back along with the scooping v at the front. I had released my hair to tousle down my back in waves and dusted my eyes with dusky dark hues making them look smoky.

As Alice brought us to the very centre of the dance floor I called back for Esme and Rose to join us. Lady Gaga was pumping out the sound system, the fun tune _Just Dance _wasmaking the crowd move. I wasn't sure how Esme would like the music but it was like she as soon as she stepped into this world of dark dance floors, velvet booths, and strobe lights, she dropped the mother act. She let go and acted her age. She was dressed in a simple midnight blue dress that fitted her figure but tapered down to her knees in a way that was alluring and sophisticated.

We danced in our small group, flitting looks to our men as they talked at the table. Emmett kept sneaking out a hipflask of some kind and I saw them each taking swigs now and then.

I would definitely have to check that out at some point.

As we danced we giggled and gossiped about the guys that had slowly gathered around us. We knew it was driving our men mad so we played our parts well. The innocent fun loving girls just looking for a good time, completely unaware of the effect we had on the human male population around us.

Rose was loving it most. Her body had attracted its own fandom of men who didn't even bother trying to stop their drooling. It wasn't surprising; she was dressed in the uniform of a classic femme fatale. Red lips, black lace clinging to her figure and cut out in as many places as possible without being indecent. She was nearly obscene but she did it in such a way that it seemed completely sophisticated. She was the perfect tease.

As the music changed to something I'd never heard I made my way back to the table, placing myself into Edward's arms and breathing in his glorious scent.

"So what's in the flask, Em?" I nodded towards the silver hipflask, trying to sniff out the contents.

"Well, why don't you take a shot and find out lil sis." His eyebrow rose as he handed me the flask.

I unscrewed the top and tipped it quickly.

I felt my eyes widen at the taste. Blood, sweet and smooth running down my throat.

I licked my lips as it settled in my stomach and Emmett chuckled at my expression.

"I thought since we can't drink..." he explained and I smirked at his idea. It certainly gave me that...buzz.

I turned to look at Edward and saw his eyes shining a bright gold. He was irresistible, the blood was pulsing in my system and it lit me up with something close to fire although it was slow and burning. Smouldering somewhere near the pit of my stomach.

I felt my body leaning into his; it was like a gravitational force was pulling me closer to him.

However, then the riff of _Lollipop_ by Framing Hanley played out over the speakers and I was gone. Not even Edward's confused arms could hold me back. Alice and Rose followed me giggling as Esme stayed to snuggle up with Carlisle at the table. In fairness it probably wasn't her kind of song but it was certainly mine.

It had been one of my favourite songs and I had begged the DJ here every time to play it but he hardly ever got round to it.

_She said he's so sweet I wanna lick the wrapper,_

_And then she, licked me like a lollipop,_

As the lyrics started I felt my body getting lost to it all: the mild sweet smoke that hung in the hair from the smoke machine, the misty atmosphere of the club, the heavy heat of it all. It all merged together to pulse through me as my hips dipped and swayed, my body twisting to the music, completely taken over.

When the chorus came I was gone and all I saw as I glanced around the dance floor was Edward's eyes fixed on my figure.

_Call me so I can make it juicy for you_

_Call me so I can get it juicy_

_Call me so I can come and do it for you_

_Call me so I can come and prove it for you_

Each repetition was my calling card to him and each repetition made his eyes darken as they smouldered.

I saw him rise from his chair, leaving Carlisle and Esme at the table. Emmett and Rosalie were already off in some dark corner of the club while I could see Alice and Jasper locked together in a game similar to cat and mouse, that was if the mouse ever teased the cat.

Edward's eyes never left mine as he walked with ease the crowd and I smirked at the anticipation building with every one of his steps. I was buzzing, literally vibrating with the music, the blood, and him.

"Holly?" A voice interrupted my haze and my gaze faltered towards a boy I hadn't seen since the New Year's Party before my death. How many months ago was that? It seemed like a whole lifetime had passed since I had looked upon his puppy dog blue eyes and shaggy brown hair.

Will was stumbling slightly in the dark, staring at me in disbelief.

_Oh sugar plum fairies on crack._

My eyes flitted to Edward and his gaze had hardened from the erotic fire. He knew this was a problem, a big problem.

_Edward, what the hell am I going to do? He recognises me; I'm supposed to be DEAD!_

Will was getting closer now, and I could see his eyes were blurry. He was wasted, so far past drunk.

"Pretend it's all just a dream. I'll get the others we can find some way to play it out as if he's just imagining it," Edward whispered in my ear and I nodded infinitesimally.

"It's me, Will. I'm here." I smiled at him as he came closer, his confusion turning into a goofy smile.

"But you're dead, why are you here?" He slurred and I slowly took his hands leading him through the crowd at a near inhuman speed to make his world blur and distort. No one would notices us in the darkness and I needed him to feel disorientated. I led him to a dark corner where it would make sense for him to fall asleep due to the excessive alcohol in his system.

"I am dead, Will. This is just a dream. You know that," I purred as I held his hand, my eyes gazing into his unfocussed ones.

I knew how he used to feel about me, so although it rebelled against my feelings, I acted as I imagined I would in his dreams, admiring and loving.

It was odd but it was all I could think to do.

"A dream...I wish you weren't dead, Holly. I miss you," He murmured as he pouted slightly. I brushed my hands through his messed up mousy brown hair.

"I'm happy here, Will. Be happy for me," I whispered as the others arrived. I felt Edward curl his arms around me as we all smiled down at Will. His eyes blurred further and a dazed smile curved on his face. Jasper was doing his magic. He would manipulate Will's emotions and make this seem dreamlike and dazed.

"Are you angels?" Will slurred and I had to stop my laughter, I could just imagine Emmett's thoughts. He was anything but an angel.

I just smiled at Will as his eyes started to close.

"Goodbye, Will," I murmured, leaning down to place a soft kiss on his forehead. After that he was passed out and dead to the conscious world.

Carlisle checked him over and made sure he was in a safe position before we called a taxi to take him home. Jasper would make him wake up soon after we left and then he would go home none the wiser to what he had seen. It seemed harsh lying to him but what else could be done?

"So are you going to dance with me? Or..." I asked Edward as I tried to drag him to the dance floor. He had understandably refused to join me when _3_ by Britney Spears had played, but now it was just a harmless bit of King's of Leon _Sex on Fire_ and he was being stubborn.

"Pretty please?" I pouted and he rolled his eyes to join me. I had been dying to dance with Edward for a while, maybe even since I was human, but we had always danced to the slower melodies. I wanted to see him in this modern environment.

As I danced he moved with me but it was causing me to lose my concentration.

It was taking everything in my power not to wrap my arms around him and forget all about dancing, to just give in to the desire to press my lips to his and lose myself in him. But I didn't want to give in so easily. I didn't want to give up the chance to see him move when it was such a seductive experience.

My patience wore out three songs later, when the Nine Inch Nails song _Closer_ began blaring over the dance floor and the lead singer proclaimed, "I want to fuck you like an animal. I want to feel you from the inside."

Electricity flew through the air and I felt it was charging the atmosphere around us. It was making my body sing and it only increased when I felt his hands on me. He spun me around towards him, causing me to gasp in surprise. But then I saw that beautiful crooked smile illuminating his face, matched with darkening devilish eyes. As the bass pounded he bent down and gave me a devouring kiss, the taste of blood still present in his mouth. I heard and felt his moan into my mouth as we fused together.

When I pulled back from the kiss, his eyes were darker and his eyelids appeared heavy. I knew mine would be similar. I could feel the hot molten desire melting through me. I was too far gone in this moment with everything that surrounded me, him, the blood, the heavy passion in the room. I put my hands above my head, closed my eyes, and began swaying my hips to the music. Every movement of my body brushed my chest against his and my stomach across his growing arousal. It struck me in that moment that even though I knew the effect I had on him, I had never really felt this way, the pure desire to seduce and own him as my mine. I wanted to have him suspended on the edge of ecstasy, just so that I could tease him and watch him fall. I wanted to drive Edward Cullen to the edge of mad desire and back again.

Songs passed. I felt him grab my hips and pulled me into him. His actions showed his desire and I revelled in it.

I spun around and put my back to him looking over my right shoulder. This was everything I wanted this night to be. Dark, heady, and filled with something so consuming it was almost ravenous. I reached my hand back into his hair to pull his lips down to mine while I my body undulated against him. His hands never left my hips, keeping them in contact as I swayed.

More songs passed. We were both panting hard. When Edward ground against me I almost moaned at the contact. I tugged his hair causing him to her pull me back into him even harder. I sighed as he leaned down and kissed her my shoulder, dragging his tongue from the edge of my right shoulder across to my collar bone and up my neck to the space behind her ear he knows I love so much. I whimpered audibly.

"Edward," I gasped, "make me yours." I grew immeasurably hotter at the idea of having something on me to show I was his and his alone. I waited in anticipation as he lowered his lips to the spot behind my ear and sucked hard. I had never liked waking up with some random overenthusiastic boy's mark left on me, but now was so difference. Now I was ecstatic.

I spun to face him and thrust my body closer to his as he manoeuvred closer, entwining our bodies further. He held my body close to him and I ground my hips into his body, bending my knees to drag myself down his rock hard body before standing back up. The last time I did it I wrapped my hands around the back of his knees and dragged my hands up the backs of his thighs. Then I drug my hand around the front of his hip, across his obvious arousal to sweep across my stomach, where my hand then moved up my body. I kept my eyes locked with his as I moved my hand up my neck flipping it around my head to flash the mark he had left on me.

I think it was then that he snapped and I suppressed my smirk of victory.

He took my hand in his and pulled me through the club to the quiet dark corner where the seats swept in large curving formations.

I pressed my body against him as tight as I could and pressed hungry kisses against his mouth. He ran his hands up the back of my thighs causing me to shiver. With each slow circle he worked higher and higher, until his hands passed under the hem of my dress. I knew this behaviour wasn't my usual style. I didn't do this in clubs. I didn't grind to a point of self-combustion, I didn't get hot and heavy in dark corners, and I didn't moan knowing people could probably hear me.

I didn't do any of those things until this night.

"Where are the others?" I panted as Edward's lips teased my neck hungrily.

"Busy." He rushed out before going back to my skin.

"Do you think they could find their way home?" I asked breathlessly.

Edward's eyes scorched up at me through his lashes as he nodded with a wicked glint in his eye.

Seconds later we were both waiting silently for the taxi to arrive, our hands joined and ours eyes showing the tension racing between us.

As I looked into his eyes and drank in the molten honey hue I felt my heart give an excitable stutter at the fire burning behind his irises.

I felt like I was running towards the point of no return. I wondered if Edward was going to finally give in to the obvious heat between us. Would he jump off the edge with me tonight? The lyrics of _Closer _rang out in my head and I felt another giddy wave of anticipation ripple through my body.

"Taxi for Masen!"

Edward glanced at me and opened the door with a smug look on his face. I locked my eyes with his as I brushed past him into the taxi.

_Tonight you're mine. _I smirked at my silent thought.

Edward Cullen won't know what's hit him.

**A/N: Review?**

**x**


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: I am sooooo sorry for the delay on this chapter. It took me some time to get comfortable with the chapter, and then there was writer's block, and to top it all off me and a couple of friends are going backpacking around Europe for a month and because we're not all that organised we left until now to finally sort it all. So yeah there are many different reasons why this took so long. Hopefully the next one won't be as long a wait.**

**OK M rated warning here, I tried to keep a little bit of subtly to it to stop it from being too much but really there's only so much dodging you can do.**

**x**

There are probably thousands of moments in your life when you think you've found that feeling of rightness. Each new moment trumps the last, until one day something happens that becomes the very definition. It's that moment when you just know that no matter what happens there is nothing that could taint the feeling that consumed you.

Now was that moment for me, and the realisation almost shocked me because I never imagined it would come at such a controversial time. But I couldn't ignore it, and I couldn't doubt it just because I was on my knees.

Edward's breathing was fast and shallow. I gazed up at him from my position and suppressed the self praising smirk that threatened to play on my preoccupied lips. His hands were almost fisted in his hair and the expression on his face was stuck between torture and ecstasy. I was doing that to him. I was the sole maker of his sweet torment. It was amazing the thrill of power you can have even though you're on your knees.

Me and my girls had talked about this several times, the pitfalls, the pleasures and (in Rianna's fashion of excess information) the tricks and techniques. I was no novice to this act. I was slightly ashamed to admit that I had done this a couple of times before. Either when I was too drunk to really care or I got caught up in the moment. I hadn't enjoyed it those previous times. The sensation in my mouth wasn't pleasant and often triggered my gag reflex.

Not now. Now I could feel every inch of him right to the point of him hitting the back of my throat yet I didn't gag. It didn't feel uncomfortable or unwanted. It was intoxicating. Everything about it, the feel of him, silky smooth and rock hard. The raw sounds he made- all groans and broken words. The sight of his sculpted marble body standing tall above me, so strong yet so easily controlled by a flick of my tongue or pull of my lips. Then there was the taste, his taste. I had experienced it several times before with his candy kisses, or when his tongue danced with mine, but now that he filled my mouth his taste was overwhelming, intoxicating, mouth-watering. He was sweet but not sugary sweet. It was hard to describe, although that may have had something to do with the fact I was too far gone to really think clearly. I was too consumed in the act.

After all, it had taken me months to get to this point, and although I knew I was in no mood to back down to his Victorian values tonight, there had been a moment when I thought he was shut down the fun fair, cancel the parade, end my little journey to Pleasureville.

We had been worked up at the club, and I knew he was battling with his morals and desires. Perhaps I should have respected his decision not to take our relationship further than kissing and a little above waist action, but I knew I would just be lying to myself if I didn't push him.

So I did. I pushed him when I forced him against the wall of my old bedroom with a ravenous kiss. I nudged his limits when I swiftly removed his shirt, urging him to do the same. I forced him even further when my hands travelled south. I could see the indecision in his eyes but his Victorian ways lost, and after that everything was frantic, lust fuelled and a LOT of fun.

No matter how imaginative a girl can be concerning an Edward fantasy, there is nothing that can compare to the real thing. The exquisite way his touch plays on your skin or the near illegal feelings his dark gaze sparks in your core. Just his passionate kisses sent my mind in a whirl and heightened the need in me to never let his bare skin be hidden again. I wanted nothing more than to exist in our bubble of desire for the rest of eternity.

It had been a simple journey from his lips, down his bare chest, skimming his abs, to finally indulge him in a pleasure he had never experienced before. I liked that I was the first to be this intimate with him and I liked his responses even more. My boy was coming undone before me and it was the most erotic scene to ever grace my eyes.

"Jesus," Edward hissed and I glance up to see him staring down at me with those beautiful obsidian eyes. They were filled with something so loving yet still such a salacious need. A need for me. There is nothing that could be more all consuming, or give your confidence the ability to soar, than looking into a man's eyes and seeing that he wants you. Just you, in whatever way he can have you. The feeling is even better when you want him just as much, when you love him more than you thought you were capable of.

I pulled him deeper into my mouth, sucking hard as he panted before bringing him back to the front. My tongue swirled around the end and another desperate moan escaped Edward's mouth. He was delicious, and he was all mine.

_My own Edward flavoured Popsicle..._

"Holly...God...love" I watched as he almost writhed with carnal longing, his hips flexing a little. He was close; I could tell by the way he pulsed in my mouth.

I push even harder and in a moment of extraordinary confidence I bare my teeth. It tipped him over the edge, he cried out and stilled. Spilling into my mouth and down my throat.

It's was a few moments before he seemed to resurface from the afterglow, the blissed-out state I had caused. I couldn't help but feel pride as I curled up next him where he had slumped back on my old bed.

I would have to check my room in the morning for any damage. I didn't want my parents to get curious about certain cracks or indentations. If we had been cleared headed then we probably should have rushed straight through the portal to the Cullen's home. However, we hadn't been clear headed, far from it.

"Holly, that was...there are no words." Edward's voice was still stunned, and I smiled against his chest while I danced my fingers against his hips. I was lying beside Edward Cullen clad in nothing but black lace lingerie after having the pleasure of giving him his first experience of the intimate world between couples. Surely there was nothing better than this complete feeling right now?

"I aim to please," I teased as I placed a kiss on his jaw.

Edward's hands started to wander down to skim my waist and then back up to drift across my collar bone.

"Allow me to return the favour?" he whispered and I felt my heart rate accelerate almost instantly. Those words were far too husky to resist.

I felt a smile slowly creep onto my lips at the anticipation. Edward didn't hesitate in pinning me beneath him with a devouring kiss. His tongue forced its way into my mouth and claimed me as his. As if there was ever any doubt of who I belonged with.

We both moaned as our bodies became entwined. Edward's arms wrapped around me, holding me to him while my legs locked around his waist. Just to have him a little closer, just to embrace every inch of him pressed against my skin.

Our kisses quickly turned from tempting to desperate and I felt Edward's hands eagerly brush against my bra.

"Off... please." I breathed. I could feel his cool temperature soak through the fabric and it only stoked the fiery need so my skin to touch his. He was gloriously naked above me and I wanted nothing more but to join him. I didn't want the constricting lace fabric on my skin any longer; I couldn't bare the barrier it caused between us.

My bra joined the rest of our discarded clothes somewhere in my room. I had heard the fabric protest a little at Edward's rough assault but it seemed to have stayed intact. Just.

His lips dropped from my lips to trail along my jaw, working their way down, down, down.

I writhed as his hands dragged up my body, meeting with his mouth at my chest, just to tease me further.

How was it possible that he could be so good at this when he had no experience? How did he even know where to start his passionate assault? How the hell did he know exactly where to touch me or exactly where to play and tease my body?

I couldn't really bring myself to care how virgin Edward was somehow a master in seduction. I was hardly able to form clear thoughts because I was just a bundle of raw physical energy, building to the brink.

My breathing was heavy as his lips and hands left my breasts and played light tickling touches on my taught abdomen.

I squirmed under the feathery kisses he places on my hip bones before his hands fixed me in place.

His dark eyes looked up at me from under his lashes and a devilish smirk played on his lips. It was all there in his eyes, his firm grip and his salacious smile. I was his prisoner and he was going to torture and torment until I begged for release.

I had always thought of myself as the sexually dominant one of our pairing, after all I had more experience of that side of a relationship, but now I wasn't so sure. I used to be so certain that I was the tease, the one to push the boundaries and enjoy the pleasurable frustration I placed in Edward.

It seemed now was turnabout.

I large gulp passed down my throat, and I bit my lip as another flood of lust rippled through my body to settled at my core.

Edward growled and I felt his grip tighten on my hips. He ran his tongue around my navel, and then gently nipped his way to my hipbone, crossing my belly to my other hipbone.

"Ah…" I groaned, seeing him on his knees in front of me, and feeling his mouth on me, sent hot flashes through my body. I'd never felt this way before. Never, in the few times that a boy touched me in such a way, had I ever felt the pure need coursing through me now.

Still kneeling he grasped my foot. He lifted my foot by the heel and ran his thumb nail up my instep. I could feel the movement echoed in my groin and it caused me to gasp. I'd never thought feet could be so sensual. Without taking his eyes off mine, he ran his tongue along my instep, and then his teeth grazed the sensitive skin causing me to groan at the sensation passing on my nerves. Everything he did seemed to make my blood race and the pit of my stomach quiver. I fell back on to the bed moaning. I could hear his soft husky chuckle.

"What are you doing to me, Mr Cullen?" I gasped.

"Oh Holly, this is only the beginning. The things I could do to you..." he whispered as his hands pass up the length of my legs, every inch occupied by his touch. His eyes never left my body as he stared down at me, watching me pant and move under his touch.

"Keep still," he murmured and he leant down and kissed the inside of my thigh, trailing kisses up, over the thin lacy material of my panties

My hands rushed to hold him to me, lacing their way into his hair. I tried to calm my breathing but it was hopeless. My body was not in my control anymore, it was all his to do with it whatever he desired. He looked up at me again as he placed a lower kiss on the line where the jet black lace met my ivory skin. His eyes were a scorching display of black fire. He stopped toying with the edge of my frenchies and licked his lips, never breaking eye contact. He leant forward, his nose running up the apex between my thighs. I felt him… _there_ and it was almost more than I could take.

His hands reach around and he leisurely pulled down the scrap of lace whic had been preventing me from being naked before him. Centimetre by centimetre he prolonged the anticipation. Without taking his eyes off mine he slid them down… very slowly. His hands, from the cheeks of my behind, glided down to my thighs. I couldn't look away. His actions have my attention galvanised.

"You smell so good…" he murmured and closed his eyes, a look of pure pleasure on his face and I practically convulsed.

His hand moved down my waist to my hips and then cupped me, intimately. I couldn't help the way my fingers tightened in his hair, pulling it at the roots. He growled lowly and the vibrations hit me in such a way that I could feel myself surging to the edge. Racing towards the point when the world explodes and for a few glorious moments you're aware of nothing but bliss.

His fingers tempted me further as he made slow circles. Briefly he closed his eyes… and his breathing hitched.

"You're so deliciously warm. God, Holly, I want you."

He thrust his finger inside me and I cried out, he does it again, and again. He palmed me passionately and I cried out once more. He pushed inside me harder, and harder still and I groaned.

And then I was lost. I'd fallen off the edge and there is nothing in the world that can pull me down from the high.

I was only aware of Edward's lips crushed to mine as we rode out the ecstasy together, until eventually all becomes still and we were left as a mess of naked passion on my ruined bed sheets.

"I love you, Edward." I breathed through the afterglow.

"I love you too, Holly."


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: So hopefully the writer's block has vanished for good and I would like to thank pringles,the few thousand songs on my itunes, and of course all you amazing people who have reviewed this story.**

**Strange thing is I had a dream couple of nights back of the final chapter of this story (not quite there yet so no need to worry yet). It was nice to know that it has a proper way of ending now rather than just leaving it a bit half finished. I just hope when the time comes you all like it :)**

**So yeah basically, here's the next chapter. Happy reading!**

**x**

Romance can only last so long before something new comes along and distracts the mind from those blissful moments of eye gazing and embracing.

Torran was the distraction that pierced mine and Edward's little romantic bubble.

Emmett had already teased us for our loved up behaviour, apparently we had a certain air about us after our night in Newcastle. I knew he didn't know the full details (thank god) but he knew enough to see the change in our behaviour. Our touches had more heat and meaning than before, and our kisses had a clear destination. That destination wasn't impossible anymore; I'd finally proven that to Edward. It had only been a couple of days but the change in his demeanour was almost instantaneous. For one thing his face hadn't lost a wide grin for at least 24 hours and his hands had a tendency to roam a little more freely.

Anyway, Torran was enough to change my one track mind onto a path of discovery.

We all sat as a family in the living room, Torran situated uncomfortably on the furthest seat nearest the door.

He looked similar to a skittish wild animal, but he had a definite desire to understand us and be tamed. I wasn't sure how he would ever fit in our family, if that would be something we would want or even if it was truly something he wanted. It seemed he just wanted somewhere to belong but was unsure of where that place would be.

As I sat curled in Edward's arms I felt pity for him. His blazing burnt orange eyes held such sorrow; I almost wondered how it was possible to feel such a depth of emotion.

I knew Edward was concentrating on his mind as Torran sat silent before us. It was clear from the slight frown on his face.

He had arrived seemingly from nowhere at our doorstep requesting a visit, his cherry tinted dark hair glistening with raindrops. Carlisle had invited him in warmly and that was how we had come to be here, sitting in silence.

Still, tense, awkward silence.

My teeth played with my lip anxiously as Torran's eyes flit around our group warily. I gave a pleading look at Carlisle. This silence needed to end and it was obvious that Torran was not going to be the one to do it.

"It is a pleasure to see you again, Torran. I see you have tried our diet." Carlisle smiled and Torran nodded silently. Carlisle was referring to Torran's startling eye colour. It was both unnerving and beautiful to look at. I was used to the Cullen's entrancing golden eyes but Torran's sunset mix was an interesting combination of his original human diet and animal diet. I had expected him to have ruby eyes since his memory of human blood was so sweet and tempting.

A niggling consciousness tickled my mind and I got the preview of Torran's animal hunting memory flash in my mind. I tuned into it willingly and let the memory fill my mind.

I couldn't help the stifled giggle that came from my lips as I watched Torran's attempts. It seemed it was not easy for him although he enjoyed the chase the animal prey gave him. I tried not to dwell on the fact he compared it to the less thrilling encounters he'd had hunting humans. Apparently they came to him too willingly for there to be much fun.

Torran's eye's glanced at me, and I was flashed with the same memory of the sweet teenage girl with beautiful blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Her smile filled me with happiness, and I felt my own lips curve up into a smile at the feeling within the memory.

"I am grateful that you have allowed me this visit. I wanted to thank you for your compassion and mercy during our last encounter," Torran said in his soft Russian accent. I guessed it was Russian but it could have been from somewhere in Eastern Europe.

"We do not wish to cause anyone harm if we can avoid it. How have you found the alternative diet?" Carlisle was always curious.

"It was a trying challenge for I have survived on human blood for many centuries, but I found it satisfactory."

"How old are you?" I blurted out and Edward chuckled at my interest. It was my chance to get some answers to the puzzle Torran had became to me.

"I will be 435 years old this coming October. I was changed within the east of Europe; an area I believe is now called Latvia when I thought myself to be 18." Torran sounded almost bored with his life, as if it was too long to hold any interest to him.

"If I may ask, do you know your creator?" Carlisle was full of intrigue as he gazed over the near ancient vampire. I had thought Carlisle was old but Torran was nearly a century his senior.

"He did not stay to introduce himself. I was a by-product of his savage attack on my village." Torran was resentful.

"Have you been alone all this time?" Esme asked and I saw her maternal nature coming through as she gazed sadly upon the lone vampire.

"No I was not completely alone, for a short while." Torran sighed and another flash of the girl's memory came into my mind.

"Who was she?" I whispered puzzled. Torran's eyes shut down instantly. Another memory of enclosed hands flashed in my mind and I followed the thread it temporarily offered me. It was a technique I had learnt which gave me the ability to rummage in a person's memory if I wanted. I was still developing the skill but now seemed a good enough time to try it.

I followed the mental pathway and rushed past images of smiling faces, entwined hands, sweet embraces and starry nights.

"You loved her." I knew the tone of my voice signified it was not question. I was certain of the fact. There was no way I could doubt his feelings for the girl given the memories he had of her and their interactions.

"Ava. Her name was Ava." He murmured, hurt clear in his voice.

More images raced to the surface. Kisses, declarations of love, promises of eternity, and patience, always patience and caution.

Edward flinched next to me and I wondered what Torran's thoughts had told him while I listened to his memories. It seemed Edward saw the current thoughts a person had relating to the memory while I saw the memory and the thoughts and feeling that occurred during it. It gave us both a slightly different take on the person's consciousness.

"It seems it's more common than once thought," Edward murmured and Torran's eyes were hollow, giving nothing of his emotions.

I glanced to Jasper for a hint but as always with strangers he was sitting stoically listening to the conversation.

"My thoughts are not to be invaded, by either of you." Torran growled lowly with malcontent. Perhaps I should have been worried by his sudden anger, but part of me had the feeling that his anger wasn't as much for mine and Edward's mental invasion, but more of what we were capable of seeing. His weakness and sorrow.

"I apologise but it is not a skill I am able to ignore," Edward explained. His voice was soft with apology but also slightly stern to show his dislike of Torran's tone of voice.

"Edward is gifted with the ability to read minds, and Holly sees memories, neither are particularly easy to ignore or control." Carlisle spoke, and Torran seemed to become even more wary of being around us. Perhaps it was due to the fact that even though he could hide physically, he could never hide his mind from us.

"_Gifted_, how could this life ever truly offer anything resembling a gift? It's just an ability to separate us even further from humanity," Torran grumbled. He truly seemed to hate his existence.

"I don't see my ability as a negative thing," Alice said sweetly, gaining another wary reaction from Torran.

"Alice can see the future based on peoples decisions and Jasper is an empath, he senses emotions and can alter them to a degree," Carlisle explained, obviously trying to calm Torran's worries.

"Such power," Torran mumbled and another flash of memory went through my mind, this time concerning the Volturi. Despair and anger were the sole emotions accompanying the memories of their pale powdery skin and filmy eyes.

"What happened to Ava?" I asked innocently but I felt Edward stiffened next to me. When I looked up to his face I noted the slightly wary expression. Perhaps mentioning her wasn't the best idea.

"Why don't you just rummage in my memory and find out for yourself?" Torran asked harshly. How could one person be full of such anger and misery?

"I can only see something if you think about her. I'm not practised enough to just pick memories out your mind without a lead first." I replied haughtily and to my surprise Torran's eyes softened with light amusement before the clouds came rolling back.

"You remind me of her. If not for your hair colour I would have thought you her reincarnate," He murmured. Edward's arms tightened on my waist before slipping down to my hip and rear. His possessive action was thrilling but probably not polite when we had a guest. Edward didn't seem to mind.

"That explains why you think of her when you see me, sometimes. I would apologise since it clearly hurts you but there's nothing I can really do about it." This earned a smirk from Torran.

Something must have crossed Torran's mind because Edward's hand crossed over my rear and ghosted up to rest on the top of my thigh.

"What happened to her, Ava?" Esme asked softly.

"She was human and I was a vampire. The same thing happened as always happens when we get too close." There was the same despair and guilt.

A memory tugged desperately on my consciousness, begging for attention.

_The room is dimly lit, only candles to create light to glow upon her silken skin. Her flowing golden hair glows with a light so angelic that it would be easy to imagine her amongst the pearly white of heaven. Her simple white cotton dress flutters around her ankles as she walks towards me through her room. It's only a basic wooden house and so the inside is nothing but stone walls, wooden floors and rustic wooden furniture. I have been here many times before, always at night, always to be with her._

_Her sapphire gaze settles on me as she stands before me, the dress is so thin and the soft lighting makes it so her slender silhouette is visible to my inhuman eyes._

_She is such a beauty._

"_Mi sei mancato, amore mio"...I missed you, my love. She whispers softly as her fingertips brush against my cheek, flooding me with a delicious heat._

_Her lips touch to mine and it's pure heaven and hell colliding. Like always._

_My lips pass over her beautiful skin, and I tame the wild animal within that longs to ravage the delicacy in my arms. My hands handle her like glass and my touches are careful as if she were a butterfly in my palms. But no hesitance or restraint can dim the fire she ignites in me, or the adoration I hold in my dead for her, just for her. The need for my human pace just prolongs the exquisite sensation of having her in my arms._

_The nerves of this night are burning under my surface but the decision was made and the promise given, how could I deny her?_

"_Ava," I whisper her name in prayer and she locks me with her sparkling blues before extending her neck of beautiful flesh before me._

"_Prendete me, Torran, fammi tuo per tutta l'eternità."....Take me, Torran, make me yours for all eternity._

_My mind blurs as I inch forward. Her skin is shining with the heat of the moment and the Italian evening air. Her deep jasmine scent is everything my mind can register._

_It's a haze that just thickens and rages around me. Nothing can pierce it._

The images swirls and changes in my mind before all I can see is the same beautiful young girl, Ava, limp and lifeless in white arms. Her neck is marred with a clear bloody bite wound and her eyes are still a beautiful blue but no longer hold any life.

I'm shocked away from the memory when I feel Edward's fingertip stroking away a tear I hadn't realised had fallen. I tried to compose myself quickly but when I saw Torran's eyes I couldn't bring myself to try to smile. He looked so destroyed, broken and lifeless. Just like Ava but the difference was that he didn't look as peaceful as she had. He was too animated to look peaceful, and he knew it.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. I knew Edward had some idea of what Torran had done but the rest of the family were still oblivious to the true pain of his memories.

"No more than I am," Torran muttered and I heard Rosalie sigh in frustration. She hated it when mental conversations were being had without the information being divulged.

"Life was never quite the same after that. You can't imagine the way it feels to kill the love of your life. And then to be denied any form of peace or relief..." Torran was bitter.

"He went to the Volturi," Edward explained to the confused faces. There was some sympathy in his voice but there was something that caused his voice to have an edge.

"Apparently my _gift_ is too precious to destroy," Torran growled.

"It is true that sometimes their minds are too power focussed to see the humane approach," Carlisle said softly and I glanced to see Esme's expression was close tears – if she could cry. Rose and Emmett seemed vaguely bored with the conversation although I could see that they held each other just that little bit closer, same as Jasper and Alice. All of us could understand the pain it would cause us to lose the one we loved. None of us wanted to feel the same way as the solitary vampire in front of us. None of us wanted to have our eyes hold the same sadness as his. It hurt to just imagine it.

There were a few moments of silence while we each contemplated how we would deal with such a situation and prayed that we would never have to enforce such a thing.

I placed a light kiss on Edward's cheek to comfort myself that I would never have to worry about killing him myself. I had never been happier that he was a vampire and not a human.

"Well that was intense, can I play halo now?" Emmett ended the silence and the atmosphere eased instantly as we exchanged small smiles.

As everyone relaxed into various forms of entertainment, I stayed to watch Jasper, Emmett, Torran and Edward play on the game. My curiosity for Torran was satiated, but I still couldn't give up the chance to see how he acted with the other boys, as well as try and see if I could understand Edward's reaction to him. It wasn't that he was particularly hostile but there was something there under the surface, like an undercurrent running through his words and actions.

Edward Cullen was a constant enigma and the innate curiosity in me loved him all the more for it.

**A/N: Thanks for reading :)**

**I know the last couple of chapters have been a little on the short side but hopefully the next few will be a lot longer.**

**Maybe leave me a review to let me know what you thought?**


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: Thank you for the patience. Got a clear outline of where this story is going just need some inspiration to get the chapters written.**

**Sorry the past couple of chapters haven't been very long - this one isn't either - once I get back into the swing of things they should start picking up again. So I'll just keep writing and drinking too much coffee until writer's block buggers off for good.**

My laughter rang out through the forest as I raced with Edward towards the sweet scent of some kind of herbivore. We were hunting with the family and Torran, an effort to help him with his newly acquired diet. He had stayed with us last night, and I had a feeling that this hunt was a compatibility test to see if he could truly blend with the family.

He, Carlisle, and Jasper seemed to get along well, although Emmett grumbled about him being no fun. Then again, I couldn't say the same as it seemed he had a similar dry humour to Edward that fit well with mine. I wouldn't say that I was close to him, or even friends, but I could see that we could be if I could just rid myself of the niggling curiosity. I had expected it to disappear when I finally learnt more about him, but it had just changed into something uneasy.

I pushed harder and growled playfully when I saw Edward dashing alongside me, swerving around me to tease me with his imminent victory. He knew he was faster than me, but he also knew that I like the challenge of beating him.

He whipped past me, blowing a kiss before he took off ahead of me into the underbrush.

Just as he left I smelt something more appetising than the deer he had taken down.

I raced through the clearing and leapt over his feasting form, blowing a smug kiss of my own as I ran towards the pulsing scent of some kind of carnivore. It was different to the usual kind found in these forests, and its scent was almost fresher, purer.

My crouch formed and sprang in an instant as I leapt upon a lynx. It wasn't meant to be here, but I didn't ponder its origins when I pierced its throat.

Delicious thick liquid ran in torrents down my throat and I felt myself hum with the pleasure it surged through my body.

My haze seemed to last longer than usual so I didn't realise that there was another conscious mind nearby. I could feel the tenor of their mind as a memory seeped into my mind.

Torran.

I snapped my head up and glanced around to find him, but of course I wouldn't. He had told us that he used his shield to hunt through habit. It was easy to stay away from prying human eyes when they couldn't see you at all.

"You kill with grace." He popped into sight, his head tilted as he strolled from the clearings edge.

"Hardly, I'm the messiest out of all of us. God knows how many clothes I've went through." I joked but his eyes didn't shift as they usually would in a friendly conversation. They stayed fixed on the blood droplets smeared on my throat before trailing up to my eyes.

"I said you killed with grace, not cleanliness. Your movements surpass the usual sinuous motions of our kind. So soft and supple." He edged closer, and I felt the charge in the air hike up a gear.

_Oh crap..._

I snorted slightly to try and laugh at his comment, trying to ease the tension he exuded.

As I examined his figure for signs of his intentions I noticed he was still tensed for a hunt and his eyes were black as they set on the murder scene written across my white t-shirt.

_Why does Alice also insist on white for hunting? Seriously where is the practicality in that?_

"Did you not find anything while you were hunting?...Oh God, did I take your kill? I'm so sorry if I did. I don't really think that much; the predator tends to take over a bit." I ran an anxious hand through my hair and Torran's expression softened a little, relaxing into the friendly face he had used since our talk yesterday.

"I hunted just fine, thank you. Although hog is not the most tempting of tastes. Is Edward not here with you?" His feet crunched on the forest debris as he walked a little closer, keeping a friendly distance.

"He's not far, he found a deer but I beat him to the real prize." I gave a smug grin as I indicated the lynx behind me.

"Hmmm, I would say the same." Another step. I was starting to get uncomfortable now.

"We should probably find the others; I think Alice wanted to go shopping later on. She's always shopping, it's a wonder that she has any space to put the new stuff, but apparently this is an _important_ shopping trip, whatever that means." I was rambling and he kept taking steps forward, his eyes fixed on me. I was like a deer in the headlights; the tension around us was too much to let me move.

"So similar," he murmured and fear shot through me at his wistful tone. His black eyes were so distant, like he wasn't really here.

In a motion too fast for me to register he grasped my hand in his, a grip too hard to wriggle free of.

"So beautiful." His fingertips trailed down my cheek as his hand held me firmly in place. I shrunk away from his affectionate touch.

"Torran, I'm not her. I'm Holly, not Ava." I knew he was hurting so I couldn't bear to cruelly harm him and shatter his soul any further, but he had to stop because this was not what I wanted.

"Such deep eyes, such delicious warmth, so soft to touch. My beautiful girl." He continued to stroke my face and hair with a look in his eye that told me he wasn't registering my true appearance now. I was as much Ava to him as I was Holly in real life. He was imprinting his memories and feelings on me because I had some similarities, the rest that didn't match he just imagined to be there.

"Torran, stop this. Now, please." His grip tightened, not quite painful but aching slightly on my wrist.

"Torran," I said, my voice stern.

"Let me go now, Torran." His head shook slowly, a small smile on his face while his eyes were just hollow and sad, obsidian depths of denial and desperation.

"I'm never letting you go, my love. Never." He pulled me towards him with deadly strength and I felt my anger start to increase past the sympathy I felt for his depressed disposition.

"Torran. Release me now. Or I will make you pay the consequences." I could feel the growl building in my throat but it had no effect on him.

"My human, my mortal love," He whispered before reaching his lips towards mine.

It was the last straw. My hand free hand snapped back and slapped hard against his cheek, causing his face whip round at the force. I shoved hard, and made my escape, but I didn't get far.

The sadness in his face dissipated instantly and a snarl rattled from his lungs.

I felt my arms pull back and get locked in his vice-like hold. I was tie up in knots and at his mercy, no matter how much my anger increased my strength and violence of my actions. I couldn't move against him. All I could do was feel his tongue drag up my throat, sick and slow while his hand gagged me.

_EDWARD!_ I screamed in my mind and the panic in me eased when I heard the racing footsteps coming towards us.

My eyes locked with Edward's as he appeared at the edge of the clearing.

Panic quickly dissolved to anger as he descended into a deadly crouch, a vicious growl rumbling in his chest.

"Let her go, Torran. Let her go and I won't tear you to shreds," Edward hissed and I felt Torran's hands tightened round my waist and wrists.

"You can't take her from me, not now. I've waited too long." Torran's voice was laced with livid hate but the pain was obvious in every syllable. The difference was that now my heart didn't ache for him. I didn't feel any sympathy for his situation because his insanity didn't deserve it. His actions had eliminated any chance of me caring for him.

"She's not who you think. You know that. You have to let go of the illusion that she is," Edward murmured. His anger had changed to reasoning.

"Don't make me, please." Torran's voice whispered and his grip loosened a little, still not enough for me to break loose but enough to ease the ache.

"She's not Ava, Torran. She never was and she never will be. You know that, deep down." Edward inched closer, and I felt my body pull against Torran on its own accord, like Edward was pulling me to him just through the strength of the love we shared.

"I can't lose her, not again." Torran's face dropped to my shoulder and I felt his hair tickle my cheek while his sweet smoky smell wafted through my nose.

"Torran, please," I pleaded, and I felt his body quiver as he slowly released me.

I ran to Edward in an instant and melted into his arms as the wrapped tightly around me.

"I'm so sorry. I never meant....Please forgive me. I can't...Please, I'm so sorry," Torran whispered, heartbroken and beaten before he escaped us with his invisibility.

As soon as I sensed he was gone I clutched Edward to me and peppered him with kisses or relief.

"I should have known. I should have run when I sensed him but...he seemed so desolate," I murmured as Edward stroked my hair.

"He wasn't lucid. I could see the way he thought of you, the way he morphed you into a real life version of her. I should have seen this coming given last night's revelations." I snuggled into his neck as he held me, recovering from the emotions of the moment.

"Would he have hurt me?" I murmured.

"No, I don't think so but only when he thought of you as her. When you attacked him the illusion broke for a while. He was dangerous in that moment." I nodded in understanding before grasping his hand, running my thumb over his knuckles.

"Will life ever just be easy?" I sighed as I questioned him, gazing into his eyes while he stroked the side of my face.

"One day, however tomorrow will be yet another day for you to endure." I was glad of his distraction.

"What's happening tomorrow?"

"I believe it's someone's birthday." He kissed the tip of my nose, and I felt a grin grow on my face. No wonder Alice was so excited to go shopping today.

"I hope you're not going over the top." I cast a sly glance at Edward as we started to run at a leisurely pace back to the house.

"Nothing is too much for you, love."

"Oh I do love your romantic cheese, but seriously, It's not even a real birthday, so what's happening?"

"Now that, my love, is a surprise so you will have to be patient." We arrived at the house, and I strolled in front of Edward to run a finger down his chest.

"I'm sure I could find a way to _persuade _you to tell me." I looked up at him from under my lashes and his smirked grew as he stopped my hand from going any lower that his belt buckle.

"You can always try, love." He winked before placing a lingering kiss on my lips.

"Oh, I've ruined you haven't I." I smirked as I wound my arms around his neck.

"I think my innocence was doomed from the first time I met you. My little tease."

"One orgasm and you become insatiable."

"Well then, it's a good thing we have eternity to _satiate_ the need"

"I don't think eternity will be enough." I whispered before planting a passionate kiss on his waiting lips.

It was true.

I couldn't imagine ever getting bored of him, unlike the other boys I'd had in my life.

Every second I'm near him I feel alight and every kiss just leads to another. It's like a chain reaction that seems impossible to stop.

That night I didn't ponder Torran and his character. I didn't think of anything except the future me and Edward had together, the things we had yet to do and see. The events and experiences we'll have forever to absorb and enjoy.

As I lay in his arms I ran my hand over my third finger on my left hand. For once it felt as if it were missing something rather than just its usual bareness. I hadn't really seriously contemplated marriage to Edward, maybe it was my age or the fact that life had just been so full these past few months, but now that I could see a clear, simple future ahead of us I could imagine a wedding and marriage. I didn't expect it now or even soon but for once I thought of the idea with some seriousness and certainty. I knew I was ready and settled enough to want that bond with Edward.

The clock chimed midnight and I sighed knowing today was the day I would celebrate the birthday that meant nothing. I would never be older than 18.

"Happy birthday," Edward said softly in my ear, placing sweet kisses on the back of my neck as we lay curled together, my back to his chest.

I reached my arm back to play through his hair before turning round to meet his kisses.

"The first and last of many." I sighed while our bodies entwined as usual. We were like magnets, always moving closer together.

"But no less special because it was this day God answer my every wish and brought you into the world."

"You should write Hallmark cards you know. Share the love." I teased and he rolled his eyes before placing a kiss on my forehead.

"Sleep, Holly. Today is going to be a busy day." His voice was cryptic but I drifted off nonetheless.


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: Please forgive any vocab mishaps or grammar faults. I'm posting this while running on only three hours sleep...But that's what you get when you favour dancing over sleep.**

**More apologies for not posting very often, my europe trip is taking some planning and zaps a lot of my spare time.**

I rolled over in bed, luxuriating in the comfort before stretching my body across the sheets. I didn't need to stretch for relief, but it felt good and was a routine I had done when I was purely human anyway. It seemed old habits stuck around in the afterlife.

A flicker of confusion passed through my mind when I didn't feel Edward in bed beside me; he was nearly always there when I woke up.

"Huh?" I sat up and felt the bird's nest on my head unravel itself effortlessly.

It looked like it was late morning outside as the sun shone dimly through the fluffy clouds.

_Maybe it'll be sunny for my birthday?_

With a huff I removed myself from the bed and found some plaid pyjama pants to slip on over my white lacy boy shorts. Underwear was fine for sleeping next to Edward, but not so much for family time.

As I wandered out of my bedroom down to the kitchen I slowly began to realise that I was completely alone. Not a single family member was present.

_So much for a special birthday surprise._

The house didn't even show any sign of party decorations.

With an uncharacteristic pout I grabbed a bowl of cereal and munched in solidarity.

I knew that I didn't make the whole birthday celebration thing a big deal last night, but Edward had actually gotten me excited for a day of family fun. Yet here I was sitting alone while they've all buggered off.

It sucked, a little.

I sighed and marched upstairs to get ready only to find a note stuck on the door to my walk-in wardrobe – Alice had finally shopped to the point that my clothes didn't fit in the wooden wardrobe that had been in my room.

_Happy birthday Holly!_

_We're sorry we're not there, but all will be revealed soon. Wear the sapphire blue dress with the white flowers and the white ballet flats underneath._

_Love you!_

_Alice._

_X_

I slipped into the room and found the dress she was talking about easily, along with the cute shoes that were a simple white with a satin blue bow which tied around the ankle. Alice knew my appreciation of shoes, and she never failed to choose types that I'd love.

Once I was dressed in my outfit I found yet another note taped to the wall behind the dress.

_OK, Holly._

_Now you're dressed and decent (instead of those awful plaid pyjama's – remind me to buy you new ones)_

_You have to go to the portal._

_See you soon!_

_X_

I grinned at the note and rushed to the mirror standing in the entrance downstairs. My body flew with the elation and excitement. It was similar to the feeling that flies through your veins on Christmas morning. That giddy emotion of not knowing what is waiting for you, but knowing it can't be anything bad.

As soon as I read about the portal I knew I would be celebrating with my family – both of them. I had never doubted the fact that I would see my human family on my birthday at some point. Mum and Dad wouldn't have let it pass without visiting. In fact this year would be the first year that I didn't walk down stairs in our house and see the ancient 'happy birthday' banners scattered through the hall and kitchen. They were a family tradition and were probably the same age as myself, yet somehow the string and foil cardboard letters still held together.

I didn't waste any time before slipping through the misty film on the mirror. It was an experience that was both completely natural and also oddly exhilarating each time. I had passed through the portal so many times before, both human and hybrid, so I was used to the cool whispery texture running on my skin. Still it was like chewing on mint gum, simple everyday stuff but still gives you that refreshing feeling. Of course the portal was minty at all, but the feeling was similarly refreshing.

As soon as my foot landed on my laminate bedroom flooring I was wrapped up in Edward's arms and feeling his lips crush to mine.

I whimpered against him as I felt my body melt into his arms.

_I love his arms..._ My consciousness sighed as I felt them completely encompass me, pressing every inch of my body to his.

He pulled away far too soon for my liking.

"You look beautiful, love." He grinned, and I felt a giddy feeling creep up in my body. The last time we had been in my room alone...well... good things happened. Very good things. It still looked pretty much the same, the sheets were a bit of a mess, and (although it wasn't obvious) I could spy the faint fingertip marks on the bed frame where Edward had gripped the wooden edge. I had meant to remove any evidence of what had happened between us, but I couldn't bring myself to eradicate the finger imprints. They were like a little souvenir or memento of our first time pushing the boundaries.

I looked up to see Edward's face and saw he had a smirk written on his lips. Was he remembering the night as I was?

I leant into his chest, stroking my fingers over his steel grey shirt, while my other hand hooked the belt buckle on his dark blue jeans.

"Is this my birthday present?" I said coyly.

_Do I get to unwrap you?..._ I teased in my mind, and Edward chuckled before kissing the tip of my nose and shaking his head.

"Close your eyes," he whispered and I obliged, although it wouldn't make much of difference given my heightened senses. I was already inhaling the homely, familiar scent of the house – all wood and warmth.

In a flash I felt Edward swing me up into a bridal hold and sprint down the stairs before placing me down in a room of people. I couldn't guess the number, but I knew it was more than just the Cullens and my family. The heartbeats told me that much.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" As the group shouted my eyes flew open.

I squealed, actually squealed like a little girl, when I saw my friends standing beside my family and the Cullens.

I flew at them in a second and was bundled in their arms while we all giggled with giddiness.

"I thought you would all be busy doing summer stuff! I can't believe you're all here!" I grabbed a hug off them, registering the goofy grins on their faces.

"Seriously, did you think we would miss your first immortal birthday? God that's so weird to say. But still so awesome!" Beth babbled, and I grinned as I felt Edward's arm brush mine before he stood near my parents. It was a nice picture seeing him with my human family; it somehow felt different to when he stood with the Cullens. It was like they were no longer two separate groups of people who were important to me, but instead they had merged together and became friends in their own right, without my presence having to connect them.

"This is amazing. How did you all get here anyway? How did you know about it?" I looked around the group for answers but they just turned to my parents and the Cullens.

"You underestimate Alice's party organising capabilities. Alternate universes?... No problem!" Jemma explained, and I rushed to hug Alice tightly.

"Thank you so much, this means so much." My voice almost choked at the emotion pulsing through me.

I had missed my life here so much, not the everyday stuff but the family and friends I had. They had been my support group and even though I had the Cullens, my friends were still important to me.

"We all helped out and Sandra was a huge help. Your mum could rival me for party planning. It was her organisational skills that contacted all your friends." Alice tossed a smile to my mother, and I turned from the Cullens to my family. They looked better. The dark circles that had been under Mum's eyes last time were almost gone and her hair was back to its usual bouncy mass of mahogany. Dad's eyes weren't flat or angry looking; instead they glimmered and crinkled at the sides with his smile. Ashleigh was standing in between them in her latest stylish outfit and looking her usual fabulously vain self. I had always had a protective side over her but now that I saw her standing in front of me, I thought I saw a new sense of maturity and strength in her eyes. She had grown up, even if she had been forced to. I hoped there was still some of her silly teenage tendancies left behind but it was strangely comforting to see she that gossip and shopping wasn't all that was on her mind anymore. It seemed like she was capable of seeing the wider picture now. As I looked at the three of them now it seemed like all the trouble had just washed right off them like water running off a duck's back. They had emerged exactly how they had been before, unharmed and happy. It didn't even seem to be an act.

There was so much to take in. Having everyone around me was just too bizarre and almost too much to register.

I was so used to having either/or, not both.

"Wow, just wow," I breathed and felt Edward place his hand in mine, squeezing gently.

"OK presents!" Alice called, and I slumped into Edward's chest. The pixie never stopped!

"Alice, I think presents can wait a while." Esme smiled at her adopted daughter with motherly affection, and I chuckled in relief. I loved presents, but I just wanted some time to relax with friends and family before anything happened.

Edward released me and left to join the conversation my Dad was having with Emmett and Jasper about something loud and rude. My Dad could have such a crude sense of humour sometimes, it was no wonder he got on well with Emmett. He also took great pleasure in spilling all my worst embarrassing moments, so I would be expecting some teasing later.

I looked as the group melted into smaller groups of conversation. Rose, Esme and Mum were talking about the party and its success, while Alice, Ashleigh and Shevron were talking about Shevron's new bright turquoise top. Everything was so easy and trouble free. There was no Torran, no risk of the Volturi popping up, no need for secrecy. The difference between the vampires and humans didn't even seem to register, we were all just equals.

I exhaled heavily with contentment and dived into the conversation with Jemma, Rianna, Beth and Sara.

"I just can't get over everyone being here." Rianna wrapped me up in a hug while Jemma ruffled my hair. They looked amazing. Rianna was in a hot pink tight fitting dress with spaghetti straps and flat gold gladiators. It showed off her caramel skin and I noticed she had let her hair grow from its usual cropped Posh bob. Instead it was grazing her shoulder in loose curls.

Jemma still had the same sleek chocolate hair reaching to her waist and open friendly green eyes. She was in a simple white top with a tan waist belt and blue skinny jeans. Simple but pretty.

"Get used to it, Hols. We're not going anywhere," Sara said softly, and I saw in her eyes that she really meant it. Just because we weren't technically in the same universe anymore didn't mean anything to her. We were still close, no matter how much time we spent away from each other.

"So what's new? How were the Uni exams?" I asked as we flopped into the black sofas in the back lounge, leaving the other's in the kitchen – although I thought I heard Dad turning on the TV next door to watch the game with the boys.

"It was crazy, I only needed 40% to pass the year but pharmacy is, like, impossible to revise for. I mean, I've never had to learn so many new equations and chemicals in my life. I was stressing out so badly, but I think I did alright. I mean, I only got 73% and I was really hoping for 80 but at least I passed." Jemma's voice rattled through her words at the same fast pace she lived for. She was always so ambitious and focussed it was no surprised she had exceeded the expectations again. Sometiems it worried me that she pushed herself so hard but it seemed that she wasn't truly content unless she was busy.

"Well I know I've passed my exams with flying colours." Rianna smirked and Jemma rolled her eyes.

"Of course you have, but that's because you're bonking the lecturer." Rianna preened herself while me and Beth gasped and laughed at her behaviour.

"Are you seriously sleeping with your lecturer? I thought he was old and stuffy." I asked.

"Professor Jenkins is a educated, respectful, interesting man. Who just so happens to make tweed jackets look _very_ good. Plus he's not that old. Probably early fourties." I chuckled in disbelief as Rianna nonchalantly ran a hand through her hair. It sort of made sense that she would find herself an older man, she was never one to find it fun to play with the boys when she could be romanced by a 'real' man.

Once we were finished giggling about Rianna's new conquest I saw Beth shift nervously next to me.

"I think I'm failing. Which is a bit rubbish... but on the bright side it means I can pursue that book offer, which will be awesome!" Beth rattled off fiddling with her aqua ruffle skirt. I blinked twice in surprise. I always knew Beth's imagination was something complex and stunning but I didn't realise she had put pen to paper.

"Book offer?" They turned to me with a mix of anxiety and excitement.

"Well, I kinda wrote a book. And its kinda been noticed by someone, and it might be getting published." Beth stalled a little as she told me but I didn't know why.

"Beth, that's awesome! How did you manage to write it so fast?" Had it really been that long since I had last seen them, so long that Beth had managed to write a while book!

"Well I just got inspired, ," Beth said with a flourish, causing us to giggle.

"Tell her what it's about. Beth." Jemma said excitedly.

"It's about alternate worlds, and a love story of this girl and this boy who live in two separate worlds and have to battle through their differences and obstacles that stand in their way." Her eyes gazed over me softly and for once Beth actually seemed shy. Her deep oceanic eyes searched my posture anxiously as if she were looking for something.

I felt Sara's hand give my arm a gentle squeeze, and I turned to her in confusion.

"Why are you guys acting like that? It sounds amazing."

"Well, we weren't sure how you'd feel about it." Sara explained but it didn't clear my confusion. I watched as Beth played with the collar of her white led zeppelin t shirt nervously before moving to the laces on her black converse.

"Huh?"

"I kind of got the idea from you and Edward," Beth mumbled and I felt my heart stutter with flattery.

"Really?" A smile was growing on my lips.

"Well, yeah. You've got to admit your story is pretty amazing and romantic and interesting. I just wanted it to be recorded. Obviously I haven't mentioned him or any of the Cullens because that would bring a law suit from Mrs Meyer. I just wanted people to know about it, even if they don't know it's real. I didn't want you or what happened to be forgotten, Holly." Beth's eyes had rare tears misting their surface, and I gripped her in a tight hug.

"Beth, that is the sweetest thing. Thank you." She quickly swiped a tear from her cheek, going back to playing an imaginary tune with her fingers on the floor.

"So, you and Edward seem very...comfortable together." Rianna quirked her eyebrow and I felt a coy smile flicker on my lips.

"Oh yes. We're very..comfortable." I grinned, and we giggled as Rianna's eyes sparked with mischief.

"Do we get to hear all the dirty details about Mr Edward Cullen?" They were leaning forward in the group, and I noticed Alice, Rose, Ash and Chevron had mysteriously appeared at this opportune moment.

"I'm sorry to disappoint, girls, but this is not a kiss and tell situation." I smirked and Rianna's eye's flashed.

"Oh come on, you can't be with a guy like him and keep all the good stuff under wraps. It's the laws of sisterhood. You have to share the saucy details." Rianna's expression was glinting and I realised that the rest of the girls (Rose, Alice and Ash excluded) were looking at me with anticipation.

"All I can say is that there are no problems and considering the length of time he had been single he better in a relationship than any of the manwhores I've came across."

"I bet underneath that reserved, respectful, good, and proper exterior there is a completely lust driven man. Virile, raring to go, pin you to the bed, type. Those old-fashioned, turn of the century types were a freaky bunch, you know." Rianna's eyes sparkled and I felt myself get a little hot under the collar as my previous exploits with Edward ran through my head.

It seemed my reaction to Rianna's words was enough for the girls to hoot with laughter and Ashleigh's face to pale with mock disgust.

"Seriously, EW! That's my big sister you're talking about. I've got to spend two weeks sleeping in the same house!" Ash cringed as she probably imagined the unwanted things she might witness.

"Oh I wouldn't worry, Ash. Edward probably gags her or something. Maybe some silk ties on the bed, blindfold. All that kinky domination stuff. You won't hear a thing." Rianna laughed, and I groaned as the girls dissolved into giggles.

"Hey, Holly. Don't knock it 'til you've tried it."Rose winked and that just started another round of giggles from the girls.

"Josh tried blindfolding me once." Sara blurted out, and we all stopped in shock. She and Josh seemed so cute and simple, definitely not into the bondage scene. Then again, Sara never really talked about her sex life.

"Yeah, he used his mum's eye mask. I ended up giving him a bloody nose with my knee when he tickled with this feather thing. We didn't do it again after that." Sara grinned and her eyes sparkled while a blush stayed on her cheeks.

"Was it one of those squidgy eye masks?" Shevron asked, and we turned to look at her in confusion. Was the texture of the eye mask really the main point of the confession?

"Oh I've missed your bizarreness, Shev." I looped my arm through hers and pulled her towards me to ruffle her blonde curly hair.

"I think we kind of missed you too, Holly." They smiled at me and my eyes passed each of them before flitting up to see Edward standing in the doorway with a small smile playing on his lips.

_Thank you so much for this. I love you._

He nodded before letting the humans know he was there. Rose and Alice were already aware of his presence.

"Cocktails, girls." As soon as he spoke the girls clambered up and formed some kind of conga line with me at the front.

"We are the Geordie girls; we wear our hair in curls. We wear our dungarees, down to our sexy knees. There was this boy next door; he had me on the floor. He counted 1 2 3, then had it off with me!" They chanted as we danced our way to the kitchen. The song was ancient, and we had sung it whenever we were going out for a laugh.

"New York cosmopolitans all round, girls!" Mum called out and we bundled into the kitchen while Emmett and Jasper stood at the make shift bar on the kitchen counter.

They grinning with cocktails shakers in their hands. It was going to be interesting considering neither of them drank cocktails and the taste was probably repulsive to them.

"Ladies, please stand back. The amount of awesomeness might overwhelm you while I show you my mad skills." Emmett boasted as he whipped around the cocktails in a flash, tossing the shaker to perform tricks while Jasper spun the glasses to make tunes with the resonation.

It took mere seconds and I watched grinning as Emmett finished the pink cocktails off with a raspberry perched on the side and a sparkler in my own.

"Happy birthday, lil sis." He grinned and passed me my cocktails which seemed slightly more on the ruby side than the others. I quirked and eyebrow at him and he winked with mischief.

"OK, before you lot guzzle those down, I want to propose a toast. To my little girl, Holly-Berry. You're a trooper, and I am so proud to call you my daughter. We love you, honey. Always have, always will. So if you'll raise your glasses to my baby girl, who's not so little now. Holly." I could feel my eyes crinkling at the side with the force of my smile as my Dad beamed at me over his pint glass. Of course he wouldn't drink cocktails or wine, beer was his drink and not even any of the light stuff. It had to be Guinness otherwise he complained.

"To Holly!" They room called, and I watched with interest as the Cullens sipped from misted champagne glasses.

When I took a sip from my own drink I tasted the mix of vodka, lemon, raspberries, and blood all swirling round my system. It was amazing how the feeling of the blood was still there but the craving for it wasn't. I guessed it explained why the Cullen's were able to sip their own glasses without guzzling it greedily. Also the effect of the alcohol on my system seemed to hit me quicker than usual, like an instant shot of confidence and warmth along with the way it made my blood rush and tilt my being towards the vampire side. I was sure it wouldn't last for long. My body would probably use the alcohol up quickly, but it was a fun feeling and almost gave me a rush of power due to my blood mixing with the venom.

"If I may say a few words, also." Edward stepped and wrapped an arm around my waist.

"As you all know Holly and I had quite an interesting start, and things haven't exactly been plain sailing, but when has the road to love been smooth running? I would like to propose a toast to fate, because it deserves thanks for making me the happiest man in the world and giving me this beautiful girl for eternity to love and cherish. So, to fate."

"To fate." The second chant was more docile as everyone looked at the situation with new eyes. Edward's words had struck a chord deeper than just kind words. They had shown that everything was truly meant to happen, and they showed that we had really made it through it all. We were happy, and even though it hadn't been an easy path to get here, I had to admit that fate deserved some recognition for orchestrating our lives in such a way.

"Thank you," I whispered as I placed a chaste kiss on Edward's lips. Or it was supposed to be chaste, until he gently rolled his lips over mine and softly sucked my lower lip between his.

"Oi, you two. Save it for later. I'm still clinging to the idea that you're my innocent little girl." My Dad grinned, and even though his cheeks were blushing with the mild embarrassment of seeing me and Edward together, I could see his eyes were slightly misty.

I left Edward's side and wrapped myself up in Dad's arms as he stroked through my hair.

"I love you, Dad."

"Love you too, Holly-Berry." He placed a kiss on the top of my head before releasing me.

"Right, enough mushy stuff. Time to spoil the birthday girl!" he bellowed, and I watched as the group steered towards the back lounge.

"Presents!"Alice exclaimed as she bounced with excitement.

_I will never get used to her energy levels._

I turned back to my parents as I stood in my room with the rest of the Cullens waiting to go back to my other life.

My friends had left when the clock hit midnight and it held some semblance of the story o Cinderella, although instead of turning back into a servant girl I was just switching one world for another. It wasn't a bad thing just a change.

Edward and Jasper had already taken my new gits through to our world. I had been given a rough copy of Beth's book – Two Worlds Collide, a photo album from Shevron and Sara, Jemma and Rianna had gone down the embarrassment route and raided Ann Summers which meant I was now the owner of the karma sutra and some ridiculous dominatrix style leather corset. I was extremely thankful when Mum and Dad disappeared to clear glasses at the moment I opened it. The look Edward gave me was far too smug and inviting for me to stop the blush that exploded on my cheeks.

My parents had given me a new charm for my Holly bracelet so that now a small solid silver house similar to ours rested against my skin. A reminder of my old home and the life I lived there.

Ash had been cheeky enough to announce herself as the present. So I got to undo a red ribbon she had tied on her wrist while she grinned at me. She was coming to stay with us in the Cullen world for two weeks starting tonight, and I had to admit that it was the best present in the world.

I couldn't wait to have her in the same house again. I had missed her small quirks like stealing bites of my breakfast, bursting into my room unannounced, or insisting on fashion shows every Sunday morning. I wanted to have my baby sister with me again, and I especially couldn't wait to show her around Forks.

So I hugged my parents goodbye, squeezing them just a little harder than usual to show how much I cared, and took Ashleigh's hand to step through the portal.

"No parents for two whole weeks!" She squealed as we watched the portal close behind us.

"I thought you'd be more excited to spend time with me, rather than just lose the parents," I said with mock hurt as we wandered up to where Ashleigh would be sleeping – basically my bedroom since there was no other spare room in the house. It just meant we'd have to share a bed if I had to sleep – not that sleep was a huge factor in my life, a couple of hours here and there was usually enough to keep me energised.

"Of course I'm excited to be with you, Hols. But you know what they say. When the cats away the mice will play." Her brilliant blue eyes sparkled with mischief as she jumped onto the bed.

Yes, Ashleigh was going to make things quite interesting.


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended

**A/N: Merci beaucoup to all those who read and reviewed the last chapter. This one starts the build up that I've got planned - something to mix things up a bit. :D**

**Hope you enjoy**

**x**

"Rise and shine, sleepy head." I bounced onto the bed, sending Ashleigh sprawled over the covers and grunting at the rude awakening. Her blonde hair stuck out at odd angles where the shorter layers were, while her shaggy fringe formed a cow lick.

"I miss the lazy Holly." I grinned as she tried to snuggled further down into the covers.

I had slept in Edward's arms on his couch last night, or at least I had for about three hours. Otherwise we had been planning our first day with Ashleigh. Alice had wanted to throw her in at the deep end and go shopping, but since she'd had a late night last night I thought some sightseeing would be the better option. Plus it got us both out the house, something Edward seemed keen on. He was up to his usual secretive ways only this time I was determined not to bug him about his plans. If he wanted to plan a surprise it was completely fine by me.

"Come on, Ash, or do you not want the Twilight tour?" As soon as the words left my mouth she was scattering the covers everywhere in her hasty journey out the bed.

"Yeah that's more like it. Tour starts in one hour so get you tush in that shower. Esme's making breakfast downstairs." I skipped out the room and left Ash to get ready while I made my way downstairs.

"Hey, Carlisle. Can I ask you something?" He was sitting reading on the sofa while Jasper and Emmett battled over another of their video games. I swear they had an endless supply.

"Of course, Holly." He motioned for me to sit beside him so I curled up on the pristine cream fabric.

"Well, I wanted to take Ash out today. Show her around and stuff. Do you think that'd be OK? I mean I can say she's visiting from England to stop any suspicion over the portal."

"That should be fine, where did you plan on going?"

"Just around Forks, maybe catch a ride up to Port Angeles for something to eat. Nothing major." He nodded in agreement.

"Also tomorrow I would have really liked to show her some of the natural sights in the woods. Do you think it'd be safe enough?" I wouldn't have usually asked, but with Torran just vanished from sight, I was uneasy to go without consulting the family.

"As long as you stay within our territory you should be safe. Perhaps we could all go as a day trip. I know we would all enjoy spending some time with Ashleigh." I smiled and nodded enthusiastically. A family day out would be perfect, and it would certainly ease my worries over Torran. I wasn't going to take any risks with Ashleigh around.

"Hey, Hols. There's this awesome plunge pool not too far into the forest. If Ash fancies swimming, we could head there. Do some diving, swimming, chill in the sun." Emmett called over while simultaneously playing his game.

"Sounds great, Em. I'll check with Ash, see if she's got a bathing suit."

"No need. I've got it covered." Alice called from Ashleigh's room. I could hear them rattling through outfit ideas for today. Honestly, the way they were talking it sounded more like a high fashion event than a cheap tour around Forks.

Finally, Ash descended the stairs and did a twirl as Emmett and Jasper cat-called.

She was a glutton for praise.

"Breakfast is ready, girls." Esme called from the kitchen.

By the time we had finished I was full of pancakes, maple syrup, and melted butter.

"Right, Ash, you get your stuff and we'll head off." It was about eleven so we hadn't wasted too much of the day getting ready.

I wandered to the piano room as Ashleigh dashed back up the stairs for her bag.

"Hey," I said as I sat in Edward's lap, stroking my fingers through his thick bronze hair. It was always at its messiest when he composed because he was constantly running his hands through it in concentration.

"Hey." He placed a soft kiss on my lips before smoothing back my hair. His golden eye's smiled at me as always but now they were more reflective due to the light bouncing in through the panoramic windows.

"I was wondering if you could give us a lift into Forks. Since I don't drive and stuff. We'll probably be able to walk around after that."

"Of course. If you want I could drop you, pick you up at a later time, and then take you to Port Angeles. I have some errands to run anyway."

"That would be perfect, but do you really not mind being our driver for the day?"

"For you, love, anything." He dropped another kiss onto my forehead before we stood to walk hand in hand to the car. Ashleigh joined us at the door with a wide smile on her face.

"Morning, Edward."

"Morning, Ashleigh. Did you sleep well?"

"Like a log. The quiet made a nice change from dad's snoring." I chuckled at the memory of the many nights listening to dad's snorts and snuffles. It had actually been something I had to get used to not hearing when I first stayed here. I was so accustomed to having his snoring lull me to sleep.

We settled into the Volvo, only this time I sat in the back with Ashleigh rather than up front with Edward.

"So, ladies, where to?" Edward asked in his most professional manner.

"Any preference, Ash?" I could see her debating the places in her head.

"How strange would it be to visit Bella's house?" I snorted at the idea.

"I think that would border on stalker strange, but we could stop off nearby and 'casually walk past if you want."

"Casually walk past and knock on her door?" Ashleigh's voice rose in hope.

"By the time you leave I'm going to be known as the town stalker." I sighed.

"So to Bella's street?" Edward asked, his eye's meeting mine in the mirror.

"Yes, onwards Driver." Ash replied and I rolled my eyes. She was far too good at bossing people around.

The drive to Bella's street was far from quiet. Ashleigh babbled about everything we passed. She even quoted exerts from the book about the trees and how green it was. I just laughed along at her demeanour. She had gone from someone reluctant to reading the books to someone who now could easily pass for a fan girl.

Finally we stopped at the top of Bella's street. It was quiet but not so far away from town that it would be weird to walk past. Or at least that's what I was hoping.

Edward came round and opened Ashleigh's door first before mine. Offering me his hand like an old fashioned gentleman.

"Do you have your phone?" I nodded in response to his question.

"Ring me when you want to be collected. I'll be there as soon as possible." I smiled and planted a kiss on his cheek.

We watched as he sped away, and I turned to look at Ash. Her face was lit up with amazement, although I couldn't understand why. Surely the most interesting part of the Twilight world was the Cullens house and the meadow, not a simple street.

Then I spotted it, parked in front of Bella's house just visible a few metres away. The red Chevy.

"Right, Blondie, let's get going. We still have Port Angeles to visit for dinner. I figured Bella Italia would be fun." I winked and Ashleigh almost skipped in excitement.

"Come on. I want to see Bella Swan. Ooo, do you think I could steal a hub cap from her truck, or maybe the gas cap. I'm so glad I brought my camera."

"Whoa there, Blondie. There will be no stealing. I don't want people to think my little sister is a kleptomaniac. And as for pictures, they are only to be taken when appropriate. No random snapping at startled people."

We walked down the street, and I had to link my arm with Ashleigh's to stop her from racing ahead.

Finally we reached Bella's house, and low and behold our timing was perfect. Oddly perfect.

"Hey, Bella," I called, and she looked up as she put the trash out. She waved and a small smile lit her face.

"Hi, Holly. How're you enjoying the summer?" She wiped her hands awkwardly on her green long sleeved top.

"It's been great so far, although not much of summer, right?" I pointed to the sky and the usual grey clouds above us.

Bella nodded and glanced at Ashleigh who seemed to be caught between gawping at the truck and beaming at Bella.

"Erm, yeah this is my little sister. Ashleigh, she's visiting from England for a couple of weeks."

"Hi! It's great to meet you Bella. And your truck is just awesome." Bella chuckled awkwardly, and I sighed at Ashleigh's over excitement. Really... back home she was too cool for this kind of stuff and yet here she was some kind of giddy loon.

"Thanks. So what are you up to today?" Bella asked, playing the with sleeves of her top.

"We were just going to have a wander around town, maybe head up to Port Angeles for dinner. You?" I asked.

"Sounds good. I was actually going to Mike's place. He's having a few people over. Some kind of catch up thing. Probably just sit around, listen to music, and talk. You're welcome to come if you want. I didn't really want to go alone. I mean I'd invited Jake, but he can't come 'til later," Bella rambled and I saw Ashleigh's face change from pure joy to something akin to mischief.

"We'd love to, Bella! Right, Holly?" I glanced down at Ashleigh as she tossed her blonde hair with her hands. Flipping it so the layers bounced with volume.

_Ashleigh Faye Jules, don't you go titivating yourself. Those boys are off limits!_ I hoped my eyes conveyed my message. Not that she took it seriously as she continued to covertly swipe on lip balm.

"Sure. We'll come. I mean I don't want to impose. I know I don't really know Mike that well."

"Trust me; you'd be doing me a favour," Bella explained and I nodded smiling. I knew exactly what she meant. Mike, although with Jess, still seemed a little too keen to be around Bella now that Edward was out of the question.

Bella popped into her house for a moment, motioning for me and Ash to follow.

Once Ash was inside, I saw her eyes bug out and scan the room greedily.

"Ashleigh, it's just a house. Stop seeing it as Twilight Bella's Swan's house." I hissed quietly in her ear, and I could practically hear Ashleigh roll her eyes.

Bella reappeared with her car keys and a beige zip up hoodie. I thought I saw Ash grimace ever so slightly, probably at the lack of fashion sense. After all she was standing in brown slouch ankle boots, very skinny jeans, a beige vest top, and dark blue crop jumper. Add in her large amounts of beaded bangles and her 'casual' look was complete. It was all probably designer, and all probably too expensive to wear wandering around Forks.

We clambered into Bella's truck and Ash took a deep sniff, inhaling the leather, tobacco, and peppermint fragrance that laced the interior. My heightened sense of smell could pick up the lingering scent of Bella's freesias along with a woodsy fragrance that was strangely heady and musky.

Ashleigh made conversation with Bella as we drove, although Bella's side of the interaction was limited unlike Ashleigh's overt rush of words. I just sat quietly listening to the crackling music on the radio and the roar of the engine.

Who would have known that I would be sitting in the beast with Bella, on amicable terms, when just a few short weeks ago we had been far from comfortable together. I guess like most situations in my life, things can change as quick as the weather.

Finally we arrived at what was clearly Mike's house. There were a couple of cars out front which at least signalled we weren't the only ones here. The house was modest, like most here, just simple brick and wood cladding painted earthy colours to harmonise with its surroundings.

Ashleigh fluffed up her hair one last time as we stood outside the door.

Mike's face when he opened was twisted between shock, curiosity, and pleasant surprise.

"Hi, Mike, I hope you don't mind, but I brought Holly and her sister Ashleigh with me." I smiled while Ashleigh waved enthusiastically.

"Can you believe it, it's the puppy dog in real life." Ash giggled in my ear, and I prayed that Mike hadn't heard.

"No problem, Bella. It's good to see you, Holly, so this is your sister?" Mike's eyes wandered over Ashleigh's tall ,slender form, lingering in places I didn't think appropriate for his gaze to linger.

"Yeah this is my _little_ sister, Ashleigh. She's visiting now she's finished year 10 back home." I hoped that little piece of information would stop him from ogling her again. Although fifteen was only a couple of years younger so technically it wasn't a big age gap. Still I didn't want him trying anything with her.

"She's taller than you," he uttered the words as if that obviously meant she was mature enough to have a shot with.

"No shit, Sherlock. I drew the short straw on the genetics front, literally." I stared Mike down until he looked away and brought us through the house. Ash sent me an irritated look.

"Holly, honestly, chill out. I operate a look but no touch policy." She smirked, and I rolled my eyes at her confident nature. The girl was far too aware of her good looks, and as we entered the living room where everyone else was, I found out that the boys here were far too aware as well.

"Holly dropped by, and this is her sister. Ashleigh." Ash did a flirty wave to Eric, Tyler, Connor, and Ben. I just suppressed a groan and dragged her towards Jess, Angela, and Bella. Girls were safe territory, no testosterone fuelled thoughts there.

"Hey, where're the drinks? I'm soo thirsty," Ash asked once introductions were done. I noticed Jess looking her over with a hint of jealousy.

"I'll show you. Do you want anything, Holly?" Angela asked as she walked with Ashleigh to what I thought was probably the kitchen.

"Nah, I'm alright. I'm just going to pop outside for a minute. Phone call." With that said I went out the back door and dialled Edward's number. He picked up after the first ring.

"Hello, love. Are you having fun stalking the Twilight characters?" His tone was humorous; he knew Ashleigh and her intentions all too well.

"We're at Mike's house now, and the whole crowd are here. I'm sure she's in fan world heaven."

"Just keep her away from Mike Newton, that boy has too many hormones to control his own mind." I chuckled at the disgust in Edward's voice.

"You can talk!" Edward's husky chuckle through the phone audio temptation.

"Anyway I was just ringing to let you know where we are. We'll probably end up staying here a while, Ashleigh seems quite eager to meet everyone. Anyway, I should get back; God knows what she's up to already." I ran my hand through my hair as I took an anxious glance at the window of the lounge. Ash was laughing freely with Jessica and Tyler, but I could see Mike and Connor eyeing her up.

"Ring me when you've managed to tear Ashleigh away."

"I will."

"I love you, Holly-berry."

"I love you too." I snapped the phone shut and sighed as I looked out at the forest.

I wash of uneasiness made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, so I scanned the forest diligently.

I found nothing but I knew better than to be believe nothing was there. Instead of lingering I turned back into the house and joined Ashleigh in her conversation.

"...And then when she was getting changed she called me in because the zip had gotten stuck. I got there and she was stuck with her arms in the air, the dress squishing her face and her knickers on show. I hadn't laughed so much in my life. She looked ridic-u-lous." The group burst into giggles, and I blushed with embarrassment. I could remember that shopping trip far too well. I had been stuck in the little black dress for nearly fifteen minutes before we finally got the zip to undo.

"I think I still have a picture of it at home." Ash reminisced, and I gave her a playful shove.

"So is it really strange having your sister, like, half way around the globe?" Jess asked, and Ash glanced at me with her big blue eyes.

"Yeah, I miss her a ton. But she's happy here, and that's all that matters." I smiled at Ash and rubbed her shoulder in thanks. I wished I could have grasped her in a tight hug for the emotion she had shown in her simple words, but I wasn't one for open displays of affection.

"Yeah well who wouldn't be happy living with the Cullens, especially dating Edward. All that money is bound to make someone wear a shit-eating grin," Lauren drawled from the outskirts of the conversation.

I saw Ashleigh's eye's flash whilst I just ignored the bitterness in Lauren's comment. She was allowed her opinion of me, so if she thought I was a scrounging slut, that was fine by me.

"Oh, so do you know the Cullens well, Lauren?" Ash asked sweetly.

"Well enough to know they have no friends, and those they do have suddenly end up in the same designer threads as them." Lauren's eye's directed at me and Ashleigh, jealousy dripping off her gaze as she looked at the clothes.

"So you're just assuming me and my sister are too poor to afford these clothes ourselves, that we're charity cases because we're the poor little English girls so far from home? Is that it Lauren?"

"Well..."

"Or are you just jealous so you're talking about stuff you don't understand. Because if you are, I suggest you get the facts before you run your mouth off and make yourself look even more of an idiot that you already do. I mean seriously a pixie cut? Your face is far too sharp to carry that off." Ashleigh finished her tirade with an icy stare, leaving Lauren a little stunned.

Ashleigh certainly wasn't the happy go lucky, bubbly girl they had become accustomed to in the first hour, but this was the flip side I knew was hidden beneath the girliness. Ashleigh didn't take insults from anyone, and she was quite happy to argue about it 'til she won - whether she was right or wrong.

Jessica's face was one of awe as she looked between Ashleigh and Lauren.

"I really did prefer your hair when it was longer, Lauren," Jess said, and it seemed to break the tension as the conversations melted back into comfortable topics. Although, I did notice that Lauren stayed with the boys rather than joining us girls to talk.

After a couple of hours the music was playing, and Ashleigh and I had firmly settled into the friendship group of the Forks teenagers. It was nice actually spending some time with them and learning a bit more about what they were like. At school, I had always been with the Cullens so although I had talked to a few of the others, like Jess and Angela, I hadn't really had a proper conversation.

Around two, pizza was ordered, and Jake and his friends turned up with more drinks and snack food.

I watched carefully as Ashleigh's eyes lit up at the sight of four russet skinned boys walking into the lounge. If there was any confusion as to who had phased in La Push it was quickly erased. These boys were wolves, that much was clear from their massive height and muscled bodies.

I recognised Jake and I assumed the others were, Embry, Quil, and Seth. They always seemed closer as friends than they had seemed to be with Same, Jared, and Paul.

Jake nodded in our direction and came over as we were standing by Bella.

"Hi, Bells, Holly." His eyes rested on Ash, and I groaned internally as I saw her eyes travel over his tall body.

"This is Ashleigh, my sister, she's visiting." Jake's eyes studying Ashleigh intensely, but he seemed to relax when he saw nothing that indicated anything other than humanity.

"Nice to meet you, Ashleigh."

"Call, me Ash." She was making goo goo eyes at Jake, and I almost grimaced when she bit her lip.

"Ash, could you come and get a drink with me?" I asked but didn't wait for her to answer, instead dragging her with me to the kitchen.

"What do you think you're doing, missy!" I hissed as Ash lounged against the counter, spying Jake through the room.

"What do you mean, sister dearest?" There was that sweet tone in her voice and the mischievous glint again.

"Don't act all innocent with me. You're eyes have been stuck to him like honey since he walked in the room."

"Mmmm, honey....I'd like to lick that right off him." I cringed and went to prod her arm, getting her attention away from Jake who she was still undressing with her eyes.

"Look, Ash. Jake is a no go area. You know that, surely. Now I can deal with you having a bit of fun flirting with any of the other boys. Seriously knock yourself out; just don't try anything with him, OK?" I held her arms to stop her from wandering away, and waited until her eyes looked into mine.

"Arg, fine!" She huffed and flipped her hair in annoyance.

"Thank you." I ruffled her hair and we joined the gathering of people, carefully avoiding Jake.

Ashleigh behaved herself for the rest of the day. She didn't get too touchy feely with Jake and stuck to talking to him in a friendly casual manner, I made sure to monitor that. As for the other boys there, she just seemed to enjoy their company.

Watching Ash was interesting. I knew what she was like as a sister, but I didn't really know how she was as a regular friend. It sounds strange, but our relationship was different to that of friends. Sure we talked and joked and gossiped, but we still had secrets. There were still parts of our lives that we didn't share with each other and because of that the way we acted around each other in private was slightly different to how we acted in public. Ashleigh was much more mature and extrovert in public than she was when it was just family. It was almost like she felt the need to entertain and keep the attention on herself, while at home she could just relax and be her usual loud self without thinking of the consequences.

The day passed into evening, and I motioned to Ash to head for the door and make our goodbyes. She was busy sitting with Seth, smiling and laughing as he told her stories. The way they were together made me uneasy. It was too friendly for acquaintances, but I reasoned with myself that there was nothing there that suggested anything more than the potential for a good friendship. Ash wasn't flirting, touching, or batting her eyelashes. Not like she had tried to with Jake. Because of this I relaxed from my moment of worry. It may have sounded hypocritical, that I didn't want her to get too involved with the boys here, and it probably was. However, I reasoned that I didn't want her getting attached to someone when she would have to let them go. No one knew about the portal here, and that was the way it had to stay for their safety and sanity.

I called Edward and within minutes he was sitting outside the house, his elbow leaning out the car in that effortlessly cool way.

I leant through the open window and let my lips linger on his for a few seconds longer than usual for a quick kiss.

Ash waved goodbye to the others at the door, and we clambered into the back seat.

"Do you still want to go to Port Angeles?" Edward asked as he revved the engine.

"Yeah that would be great. So speed towards the horizon, sir, it's time to chase the sun." Ash let her dramatic side loose, and I heard Edward chuckle as her arms flailed around with her enthusiasm.

Edward's driving was as fast as always so the trip to Port Angeles was barely over an hour. After parking, we headed straight to Bella Italia - Edward's hand at the base of my back.

"Are you sure you want to join us? I thought you had things you wanted to do."

"Holly, the only thing I want is to spend my time with you." His hand brushed the top of my rear before returning to its usual position.

_And he claimed Mike Newton couldn't control himself._ I thought as I smirked.

The restaurant wasn't crowded, which was surprising given it was the start of summer. The host was around twenty, and I easily recognised the look in her eyes as she looked over Edward's body. Leering was probably a more appropriate way to describe her gaze. Her eyes took on a definite 'come hither' look. I had to clear my throat to interrupt the heat she was projecting through her eyes.

Edward's hand slipped up from the base of my back up to rest on my waist. It earned me a glare full of jealousy from the host and a rush of smugness flew through my body.

_Damn rights, he's mine._ My mind called with glee and my inner goddess broke out into a victory dance.

"A table for three?"Edward's voice was alluring even when asking for a table that hinted at nothing romantic at all. I saw the host's eyes flicker between the three of us, seemingly deciding which girl to compete with. She clearly settled on me due to Edward's arm holding me to him. She flicked her badly highlighted hair in dismissal and led us to a table near the centre, probably where she could keep watch and analyse mine and Edward's every move.

"Thank you." He flashed his gleaming smile, clearly dazing her momentarily.

"Um" – she shook her head, blinking while me and Ash tried to hide of snickers – "your server will be right out." She walked away unsteadily and Ash let out an unlady- like snort.

"That girl's love stoned off her ass." Ash grinned.

"Excuse me?" Edward's face frowned, creating a small crease between his eyebrows.

"Love stoned, love drunk, dazzled, dazed and confused, knocked on the arse by Cupid's bow. Basically...You're just too damn beautiful." I planted a loud kiss on Edward's lips after I explained.

"Too beautiful, hmmm." He brushed back a lock of my hair, his fingertips trailing on my skin.

"Ease up on the PDA otherwise I won't be able to keep down my meal." Ash smirked, and I moved my chair away from Edward's. Strange how it just so happens to drift in his direction.

"I'm curious, did I ever dazzle you?" Edward's head tilted to the side as his eyes were playful and curious.

"Maybe, but I guess you'll never really know." I winked and took the menu from the server who had just arrived.

I ignored her appraising look as she handed Edward his menu. They can look 'cause they'll never touch. I'd bite their hand off if they tried.

_Whoa, possessive much?_

"Hello, my name is Amber, and I'll be your server tonight. What can I get you to drink?" Me and Ash shared a Twilight moment, so this was _the_ Amber from the book. She had the same black hair as was described in the book, but unfortunately no tattoo like in the film.

"I'll have a diet coke," Ash said sweetly.

"Orange juice for me, please."

She turned to look warmly at Edward.

"I'm fine thank you."

"OK then, I'll be right back with those." I think she actually skipped back to the counter.

"Wow, I've got an eternity of this, don't I?" I glanced at Edward and he had the same sweet confusion written on his face.

"Watching other women lay themselves out for you," I explained.

"You can lay yourself out to me any time," Edward purred into my ear quietly, but my blush must have given him away because Ash pretended to gag.

"Oh, please, Ash. I had to listen to you drool over Jake and talk about licking honey off him. That was a very uncomfortable mental image for me." Edward chuckled beside me.

"I think it's your own fault for having such a dirty mind. I never told you to imagine it. Some of us don't have our own man to play with so we have to make do with a little day dreaming." I groaned as Ash spurted off on her boy crazed rant. The girl was fifteen, she didn't really need a man to play with, or at least that's how I preferred to think.

"By the way, I apologise, Edward. Fantasies of Jacob Black are probably the last thing you want running through your mind." Ash smirked as she sucked on her straw. The waitress was back with the drinks and the menu's although I had a feeling Ashleigh wouldn't need to look.

"I'll have the mushroom ravioli, please." She beamed and I chuckled under my breath. To me, she could be so predictable sometimes.

"We'll share a margarita, please." I motioned between me and Edward, catching the sour look the waitress gave before flouncing off again.

"What does food taste like to you?" Ash asked as she leaned over the table, eager to delve into the vampire world. Her excitement over the subject would have bothered me if I wasn't certain she was staying in our old world with mum and dad. I didn't want her to be changed, not when she was so young, probably not ever.

"I presume the closest comparison I could make is dirt or ash, but it smells far worse than any of those, like decay." He grimaced as he talked and it made me wonder how he ever stood being around me while I ate.

"Hmm..." Ashleigh's head bobbed and she slurped more of her diet coke.

"Why do you ask, Ashleigh?" Edward's eye's studied my sister, and I felt his hand slip into mine under the table.

"Just wondering, that's all." Ash smiled brightly.

Once our food arrived we lapsed into light conversation. Edward asked about stories from our world, sisterly moments that we had shared. He especially seemed to like my protective streak when I had kicked a boy in between the legs, hard, for upsetting Ashleigh.

As we finally settled in for the night at home, I felt the full force of my day with Ashleigh. I hadn't really noticed how much I had missed my little sister, no matter her quirks or little annoyances. It would be hard to watch her leave at the end of the visit, but I comforted myself with the fact that I could see her anytime I wanted. She was always just a footstep away – just as she was now while she slept in my room and I stayed in Edward's.

I listened to her steady breathing, smiling at the light snores that she produced.

"Life is going to be quite different with her around," Edward murmured whilst he ran strokes through my hair and looked out at the dark forest.

"It certainly will, but that's typical Ashleigh. Everything changes when she's around. She's kind of like a magnet."

"Do you wish it was this way always?"

Did I? Did I want her in this world with me all the time? Did I want my family to give up life in their world in favour of a new start in this one? The idea was tempting, sure, but I wasn't sure if I could truly bring myself to want it.

"I really don't know." I whispered before we went downstairs together to be with the rest of the family – Edward's question echoing in my mind.

**A/N: Thanks for reading, let me know what you think :P**

**xx**


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: Thank you to those of you who are continuing to read and review this story. It means a lot..._really_. I hope you're still enjoying it. Anyway enough rambling, on with the show.**

**x**

The sun shone brightly above us, the Cullens sending scattered rainbows out around the clearing. It showed such a contrast between their skin and that of Ashleigh's. It was almost shocking t see just how inhuman they appeared. So inhuman, and yet so beautiful, alluring, and fantastical. I could see Ashleigh sneaking awed glances at them now and then, admiring the diamond-like facets on their skin like a magpie.

We were at the same pool me and Edward had had our first date, all those months ago. It looked so different bathed in sunlight rather than the silver moon, different but still so inspiring. The slate cliffs that rose from the ground over the pool were laced with blooming flowers, a pretty collection of whites, pinks, and pastel purples. The varying ledges shaded the deeper end of the pool while the grass on the bank was flooded with golden light.

It was there that I was sunbathing with Esme and Rosalie, watching as Ashleigh enjoyed herself in the water. She seemed so much younger as she dived deep into the water. There was no sign of the appearance-conscious girl here. She didn't care that her hair was slicked back from her head, she didn't care that her face was bare of makeup. She was just happy and carefree.

"Come on, Rose!" Emmett called from the pool for the fifth time in the past hour.

"I am not getting wet!" Rose replied as she flipped her brilliant blonde hair so that it fanned around her.

"Pretty please!" I chuckled as Emmett pouted.

"I'm enjoying the sunshine for once, Em. It's not every day I get to lie out like this." Rosalie stretched her lithe body out, increasing the inches of skin that was touched by the sun.

There was no replied from Emmett, only a quiet chuckle from Edward. I could hear the near silent ripple of the water as a body exited the pool. That was the only warning given, the only sound that even suggested monkey business.

A second later a mini tsunami flooded the grass bank, soaking me and Rosalie completely with mildly cold water. My midnight blue bikini was a shade darker, creating a stark contrast against my ivory skin.

I laughed as I saw Emmett grinning devilishly, goading Rosalie on as she sat open mouthed in shock. Esme had dodged the tidal wave to join Carlisle as he organised the picnic they had packed for Ash.

Me and Rosalie leapt from our bathing positions and dived into the pool. I was encompassed in a water world of blues, greys, and shimmering slate. Streaks of sunlight shot through the water and refracted to create rippling rainbows on the smooth slate bottom.

I could see Ashleigh's legs kicking to keep her head above the water, even though the bottom of the pool was only inches from her toes. Edward was standing beside her, and I could hear their conversation reaching my ears through the water's surface.

Edward had spent the whole of today getting to know Ashleigh, entertaining her as she asked her questions and recounting stories that filled her mind completely. It was sweet that he was taking this chance to bond with my sister. She was my family, and I liked that he saw it as important to know her and have a comfortable relationship.

I burst through the water's surface, splashing Ashleigh as I went.

"The picnic's ready if you want something to eat," I explained to Ashleigh as Edward hugged me from behind, his head resting on my shoulder.

"Yeah, I just want to try something first." I watched as Ashleigh swam to the shore and pulled her body out the water. The neon pink bikini almost glowed against her newly tanned skin, the strings dripping with the water.

"Ashleigh, I'm not sure if that is wise," Edward said as we watched her heading up the slope towards the top of the slate cliffs.

"Holly, tell him," Ashleigh countered, her voice still crystal clear even though it should have been a lot fainter. Improved hearing was a blessing for communication.

"She'll be fine. We used to climb cliffs when we were younger."

"With harnesses?"

"Nope."

"Were you insane?" Edward gasped as we saw Ashleigh's body appear on the top ledge. It was roughly a 20 ft drop and I could hear her heart pounding as she peeped over the edge.

"Dare devil, remember?" I replied and grinned as Ashleigh mumbled some encouragement to herself. The height would look a lot higher up there than it did from down here.

"Go Ashleigh!" Alice called as her and Jasper appeared from the forest. I was trying not to see their memories in their minds.

"Come on, Ash!" I called, giggling as her toes shuffled on the slate, further towards the drop.

"Don't rush me!" She squealed. As another round of laughter sounded from the family I felt Edward tense behind me. I could feel why. There was that same mental presence that had interrupted our consciousness the first time we met Torran. I glanced at Jasper and I could see that he felt him too.

I felt my own heart pounding as I looked frantically up at Ashleigh, her smiling face peering over the ledge – excitement flowing in her veins and making her big blue eyes sparkle.

"Edward, where is he?" I whispered quickly, looking desperately for the focus of the mental presence. I had to find him. I didn't want him anywhere near Ashleigh.

"I can't get a clear read on him. He's learnt to block me." Frustration ran cold in Edward's voice as he stiffly shifted his arms.

"Ashleigh, come on. Now!" I yelled. I wanted her beside me, not up on the ledge vulnerable and unaware.

As I called to her I got my first whispering of a memory.

_Ava's face, blonde and blue eyed, smiling and laughing._ Torran was closer, and he wasn't safe. Ava was fixed in his mind, fuelling his grief and desperate need for a replacement.

"Ashleigh. Jump!" I rushed out of Edward's arms, wading through the water as I searched for Torran. I could tell the family was on alert now and it was all within seconds. The mood had changed for us. They weren't playfully goading Ashleigh anymore; they were urgently asking her to come to safety. She just didn't hear the emergency ringing in their voices.

I crept carefully towards the edge of the pool, keeping my mind open to Torran's presence. I could feel him but I could get no direction to pin point his position. I was hopelessly scanning the dark forests that surrounded us in a vain attempt to hone my radar. I focussed on Ash as I heard another squeal of excitement bubble from her lips. As I watched her I saw a flicker in the background, mere metres from her, in the dark of the forest that curled around the cliffs.

Torran.

He was right there, behind her, watching her so intently I would think him in a trance, awed at the vision of her in front of him. His arm was slightly raised as if he was reaching out to her without realising. His stance was caught mid step.

"I miss her eyes," he whispered, barely registering with my ears but it was enough for me to leap into action, running to Ashleigh. I had never used such speed; I didn't even know my body was capable of it. All I knew was that I had to get to Ashleigh before he decided to make his move. Right now he was just content to watch her, indulge in her similarity to his Ava. As I saw Ava in his mind I saw the sickening similarities between her and my sister. They were identical, strangely so. Her eyes were the exact blue of Ashleigh's; her hair was the exact shade of golden blonde. Her smile was even the same and formed the same dimples on each rosy cheek.

As I collided with Ashleigh and flew off the edge of the ledge with her in my arms, I saw Jasper, Edward, and Emmett circling the area where Torran was stood – flickering in and out of view as his shield came into action again. They weren't initiating a fight but it was the warning. The not so subtle suggestion that he turned tail and left or faced the consequences.

We knew he wasn't harmless anymore. True he was hurting and lost but those feelings translated into mania. He couldn't control his actions when the feelings took over. I knew that enough from my last experience with him.

There was no way I was allowing him within a mile of Ashleigh. I hadn't even wanted him to know about her. It was just made all the worse now that I knew she was Ava's double. The living twin to the girl he had loved so passionately and lost so tragically.

Was it cruel to deny him the chance to see her, this living replica? Possibly, but the protective side of me was certain that I would endure the guilty conscience as long as it meant Ashleigh was safe from danger. Because that's what Torran was – danger. He was a volatile mess wrapped up in a quiet, reserved package. Like the perfect serial killer. So normal and pleasant on the outside yet deadly on the inside.

As Ashleigh came spluttering up for air, gasping and laughing as the adrenaline started to still in her veins, I hugged her close and listened as Jasper, Edward, and Emmett explained the situation to Carlisle and Esme.

Alice and Rosalie came into the pool towards me and Ash, concern written in their memories but smiles on their faces.

I relaxed after the initial shock, releasing Ashleigh from my grasp.

"Some warning would have been nice, Holls," Ashleigh spluttered as she breathed deeply, wiping the excess water from her eyes.

"Well I couldn't resist. You know I love a good adrenaline rush. Plus it looked like fun," I replied, a fake smile plastered on my face. Boy did I get an adrenaline rush, just not the nice kind.

"Can we do it again?"

"You'll be a prune if you stay in the water any longer, Ash." Alice giggled, gradually directing Ashleigh to the grass bank where the picnic was laid out. The rest of the family was gathered there as well, and I was focussing on the fact that there was safety in numbers.

Rosalie hung back with me as I let out a shaky breath I had been holding in when Ash was in my arms.

"She's safe, Holly. Everything's OK." I nodded slowly, but my mind repeated the moment in slow motion. The look in Torran's eyes as he gazed at Ashleigh. The words he had thought in his mind, the longing in his voice. It was all imprinted on my brain and it all instilled terror in my being, no matter that it was over. It had still happened.

"I know. I was just so scared. He was right there. So close. Too close." I slowly walked with Rosalie out the pool, straight into Edward's arms as Jasper rested a reassuring hand on my shoulder. Washing my nerves away

Luckily Ashleigh was too preoccupied with the cheesecake and strawberries Esme had brought, to notice my freak out.

"She'll be safe with us, love. He won't get within ten miles of her. I promise," Edward murmured into my hair, and I relaxed further as his scent filled my lungs. I nodded against his skin, placing a kiss on his throat.

_I want him gone, Edward. I don't want the fear of him to haunt us anymore. I want him gone._ I had to say the words in my head because I couldn't bring myself to say them out loud. I had never wished anyone dead, not even Jack after he knocked me down. But now, when it was Ashleigh at risk, I couldn't bare it. I just wanted the risk eliminated, even if that meant Torran had to be eliminated.

"Whatever it takes, Holly. For you I'll do anything." Edward kissed my forehead as he uttered his words and I finally let go and relaxed.

"Holly, you have to try this. It's like heaven," Ashleigh called over and I chuckled as I saw she had collected a sample of everything in front of her. Most of it had bites taken out, but it was the chocolate cake that was almost devoured in front of her.

I left Edward's arms and sat opposite Ashleigh as she shoved a piece of the cake forward for me to eat. Or at least I thought that was what she was doing; instead she moved her hand, always out of my reach.

"So that's how you're going to play it." I swiped some of the chocolate icing from the plate and smeared it on her face, laughing as she squealed. Her tongue trying to lick the chocolate off her face.

I felt Edward behind me and turned to dab his face with the left over chocolate, kissing it off his cheek.

"Yum, chocolate covered Edward." I grinned as I sucked the chocolate off my finger.

"Holly, control yourself, woman. There's family present." Ashleigh called getting a laugh from Emmett and Rosalie.

I stuck my tongue out and sat back in Edward's arms to watch Ashleigh interacting with the Cullens. She just fit and it scared me a little because I knew that she would feel at home here. If she felt so comfortable in this world, with these immortals then what was there to stop her from wanting it? Wanting to live here like us. I already knew that she saw the appeal of life as a vampire, and I knew when she looked at me she didn't see the negatives of this life. I wasn't even sure if there truly were any negatives, except for the change. I certainly didn't experience any, but the same could not be said for the other Cullens. There was no guarantee that Ashleigh would be as lucky as me, and she had no reason to change. She had no partner she wished to spend eternity with; she just had a wish to escape her everyday life. That reason wasn't enough, not really. But as I saw her, smiles and contentment, I had a brief moment of wishing to have her around for eternity. To have her by my side forever as my little sister. I knew a day would come when my parents would die, but if Ashleigh was changed I would never have to lose that connection with my human life.

I shook my head lightly to clear the selfish musing. I wouldn't put Ashleigh through the change just to have her for eternity.

She was only fifteen, and as I threw myself into the conversations going on I reminded myself that she was too young to even talk to about such a life altering occurrence. It would be another few years before I ever voiced my opinions, at least then I would have a firmer grip on how I felt about it all.

After all, a whole life was a lot of risk on a rash moment of thought.

**A/N: Thoughts...?**


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: reets from now on I'm steaming through with this story. Not too much longer left I don't think but then again I always think that and somehow it gets longer and longer each time.**

**Here's the next chapter.**

**Happy reading**

**x**

Since that fateful day in the forest I watched Ashleigh like a hawk. The whole family did. There wasn't a moment that went by when someone wasn't with her. Of course Ash was in heaven with all the attention. Her face was positively beaming from the second she woke up to the moment she closed her eyes. It was amazing to see her back to her old self. It seemed she had lost herself a little during past few months, but now she was bouncing back with the lively energy she'd always possessed.

I could hear her and Esme in the kitchen as they made dinner. Ashleigh was a little better equipped to cook, while I struggled to cook pasta correctly.

"The family thought it would be fun to take Ashleigh out to Port Angeles, maybe a movie and a meal," Edward murmured as we sat wrapped together on the couch in the lounge. We still had the nights together but we hadn't had as much time to just be due to Ashleigh being around. I adored my little sister but she was a handful. I knew she didn't mean to, but it was just something programmed in me. I had to soak up as much time as possible with her, plus Edward didn't seem to mind.

In fact something was up with him. He had a secret and he wasn't going to spill anytime soon.

"That sounds great. Although I warn you now, Ashleigh has an acquired taste in films. Less cultural and plot, more slapstick humour."

"I'm sure they'll cope."

"They? You mean _we_ won't be part of the _they_?" I asked as I sat up against his chest. I didn't know how I felt about leaving Ashleigh alone, not that she would be alone but ...well my mind was reacting in the same way I imagined a new mother would react when the time came for her to leave her newborn baby behind with a babysitter. I trusted the Cullens with my life, and Ashleigh's life, but I still had that irrational panic that something would happen when I wasn't there.

Then again, I knew exactly how I felt about alone time with Edward. It left a tight curling sensation in the pit of my stomach while butterflies fluttered around as if they were speed.

A melodious chuckle drew me out of my inner monologue and I snapped out of my daze to look Edward directly in the eyes.

"She'll be fine, love. You know that." His hand gripped mine in reassurance, and I eased back down to lay my head in the crook of his neck.

"Yeah I know. Christ since when has my maternal side been a problem? She's not even my child, and I get freaked out over letting her out my sight. It's crazy." I curled tighter into his side as he played with my hair.

"It's not crazy. She's your sister, flesh and blood. After all that's happened you're bound to be protective, plus it's part of vampire nature. Protecting what's close to you."

"Yeah well...it sucks being this nervous all the time."

"I have a remedy for that," Edward whispered in my ear, his nose running along the line of my jaw.

"And what would that be?" My voice was already taking on that husky tone; it was quite embarrassing to think that he effected me so quickly.

"Just a little distraction." I could feel his smile against my cheek as he started to plant soft kisses on my pulse, all the while his hands played with the sensitive skin on my abdomen.

"Mmm" I sighed as I felt all other thoughts float away. Nothing matter but this little bubble of love and affection. Glorious quiet time.

"We're going to a party!" Pop goes the bubble, and Madame Ashleigh was the one holding the pin.

Edward and I shot up into a more respectable upright position as my little sister raced into the room, Alice following closely behind with a humoured expression on her face.

"I thought you were all going out to Port Angeles, Alice." Edward's voice was curious but slightly on the icy side.

"Things change, Edward." Alice was far too smug for my liking, especially since she gave us no warning that Ash would burst in on our little moment.

"Well I gave Jacob my number on...whenever we were at that Labrador's house, and anyway he texted me to ask if I fancied hanging out with him and the guys tonight. Apparently they're having some sort of shindig thing. Can we go? Please, please, please." Ashleigh's already big blue eyes grew to the size of saucers and her pout came out with force. She was pulling a puppy dog face with such power it could probably make the Wicked Witch of the West go all gooey.

The rest of the family was filtering in to the room as I tried to get my head around what Ashleigh had just raced through.

"You gave Jacob black you're phone number? How? You don't even have a mobile in this world." I asked as Ashleigh beamed at me.

"OK so it wasn't _my_ number, more yours. But he didn't need to know that, and you weren't really using it that much except to call these guys so I figured it was all good in the hood."

"How did you even know my number?"

"God, I've been memorising numbers for donkey's years now, Hols. Mum and dad's credit card numbers, mobile numbers... One more wasn't exactly a challenge." Ashleigh waved off her small crimes as if they were nothing, and I sighed in exasperation.

"The girl's got skills, Rodeo." Emmett piped up, giving Ashleigh a high five in the process.

"So you want to go to a party with the wolves at their reservation, alone, tonight?" I asked and Ashleigh nodded simply.

"Hell no."

"Holly's right, Ashleigh. You can't go alone, whether wolves can be trusted or not is another matter, there are other dangers to be taken into consideration." Carlisle calmed my sister before she managed to get her anger out. I could see her face building in redness as she built up steam.

"So I can't go at all?" Her teeth were gritted but thanks to Carlisle's reasoning and Jasper's gift she was keeping herself under control. We didn't need a tantrum Ashleigh style.

"We're not saying that, dear, we're just going to have to think of our options." Esme cooed and offered Ashleigh a one armed hug.

I tossed Edward an apologetic glance. If Ashleigh was stepping out to the wolves' territory, into the woods, there was no way I wasn't going with her. Even if it meant sacrificing my time with Edward. Me, Jasper, and Edward were the only ones that could sense Torran so at least one of us had to be with her.

Edward released a defeated breath. Whatever he had planned for our few hours together had just been thrown out the window and by the look on his face it was something big.

"We'll go with Ashleigh, Holly and I."

"I'm sorry, Edward," Alice murmured with a sincere look on her pretty face.

"Are you still sure you can forgive my craziness?" I asked discreetly as the rest of the family went back to their pursuits. Alice was already dragging Rose and Ashleigh upstairs to organise the perfect outfit, now that the decision had been made.

"Without a second thought." Edward smiled and gave me a peck on my forehead.

So no hard feelings, but I still felt like crap for ruining his plans – whatever they were to be.

* * *

Our arrival at the wolves' party wasn't exactly unnoticed but a fuss wasn't made due to the civilian guests. Ashleigh, Bella, and a few other teenagers who weren't anything supernatural and therefore not supposed to be initiated into the second world of Forks. Of course Ashleigh was just bluffing about her oblivion to my new state. She was just supposed to be the visiting sister from England, here to see her 'normal' older sister and taste the delights of Forks. Not the girl from a different universe here to spend some quality time with her messed up half and half vampire-human hybrid sister who was supposed to be dead and buried back home.

I smirked as I thought of what the other guests would think of that little story. The very idea that there was a world besides their own was probably a concept very few of these teens could comprehend.

I turned as I felt the air swirl around me and bring with it the scent of freesias. Edward tensed slightly next to me but otherwise ignored Bella's presence on our bench.

"Hey, Bella. You're here with Jacob, right?" I asked as I watched her get comfortable on the wooden seat.

Yeah. He invited me." I sensed a but on the end of her sentence and followed her confusion but annoyed gaze as it landed on Jacob. Jacob who was currently deep in conversation with my darling little sister. The little minx, she had promised me she wouldn't cause trouble, and yet there she was all flicky hair and fluttery lashes as she flirted with Jacob Black.

"You guys seemed to be getting on pretty well," I commented as I tried to redirect the conversation. If I could just get Bella to ignore the scene between Ashleigh and Jacob then things might not be too damaged. She didn't need those kinds of insecurities to think about, and I didn't need my sister messing up everything just so she could get her kicks.

"I don't know. He's kind of young but... maybe," Bella mumbled through her words as she played with a strand of her hair.

The fire crackled around us, barely covering the sounds of Ashleigh's giggling. Honestly the girl was hopeless. You could tell her one thing but she'd ignore it in favour of something else.

"Well they say cougar is back. Isn't that right, Edward? I am after all a year older than you." I winked as I nudged Edward to get his attention. He snapped out of his daze and cast us a crooked smile before planting a kiss on my cheek and leaving to talk to Seth.

"He's been quiet all night," I murmured as I watched him walk away.

"Is everything OK?" Bella asked, and I discarded my reverie to glance at her. It seemed like there was genuine concern in her chocolate eyes but I could hardly spill all about the ins and outs of out complex lives. Alternate universes, crazy Vamps, and mischievous little sisters – they were hardly great topics for conversation.

"As far as I know. He had some kind of plans for tonight but then Ashleigh wanted to come here... I guess maybe I should have taken into consideration what he actually wanted to do. It's not like she couldn't have come with anyone else from the family."

"So he had a big night planned? Maybe he wanted to ask something important." Bella teased half-heartedly, and I felt my mind stutter for a moment.

To Bella that something important may have been taking the next 'step', or planning a vacation, but to me that something important could have been something big. Very big. Like monumental, life-changing big.

I caught Edward's gaze from across the fire, noting how the flames made his eyes dance more than usual, and I found myself having an epiphany of sorts. Had that man, the one sitting just across from me half listening to Seth, been planning on getting down on one knee tonight? Had that been his special evening for us both?

The idea that I could have been engaged by now hit me like a tonne of bricks. The people and world around us faded as I contemplated how tonight could have turned out. I wouldn't have been sitting here talking with Bella and churning over my sister's little exploits. I could have been alone with Edward, in someplace special to us, answering one of the most cataclysmic questions in my life.

Edward's head tilted slightly as he watched me, and I wondered what he was seeing. I had no idea what emotions were flashing up on my face but when his lips formed a half smile I couldn't help but form my own.

It didn't matter that I had switched that perfect night for this one. Just the knowledge that it could have happened and that the moment was in the near future was enough for me.

"Hey, Holly? Is anyone there?" I shook my head to clear the euphoria and smiled dazedly at Bella.

"What? Yeah. Here. What were you saying?"

"Um, well I was just wondering if you were sticking around for the telling of the legends later."

"I don't think so..." I said as I scanned the room for some kind of excuse as to not attend. It was one thing to be around the wolves but to be present when they told the legends which concerned the Cullens, while normal civilians were present, well that didn't seem to be the brightest idea.

My eye's settled on Ashleigh for what seemed like the hundredth time in the night, and I found my reason to leave.

"We should probably get Ashleigh back home. It seems she's tired." I could hear the irritated tone in my voice but it wasn't directed at Bella. It was purely for my sister who was curled up in Jacob's arms, her face at the crook of his neck as they shared some kind of whispered conversation.

"I'll see you around then." Bella waved as I got up and went to join Edward as he rose from his seat.

"Ashleigh, come on time to go." Her face turned up to me, defiant. That was until she looked me in the eyes. I could feel the heated sensation smouldering in my veins so I was sure she'd be able to see the anger in my eyes. In truth it wasn't much anger as more disappointment but wasn't that a little clichéd. The whole 'I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed.' It was made even worse by the fact that I wasn't even her mother. I was her sister and I shouldn't have to be the one telling her off. But trust Ashleigh to push it. She couldn't just take the warning and deal with it. No, she had to dance all over it and snuggle up with Jacob. Right in front of Bella!

"OK, OK, don't get your knickers in a twist," Ashleigh huffed as she stood up.

"I'll see you later, Jake." God, her sugary sweet voice just irritated me even more.

"Ashleigh." Edward's voice cut through the tension building between Ash and me, as he gently prodded her in the direction of the car.

We left as silently as we arrived but the quiet in the car wasn't from comfortable calm. As soon as we got back I wanted to know the facts.

What was she thinking? Why was she doing it? And did she not understand the consequences?


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Ashleigh leapt from the car and skipped up the front steps. Of course Edward and I got there before her and we were already inside by the time she came through the front door. All smiles and smug confidence.

_The little madame._

"Ashleigh, could we have a little talk?" I said through a deep breath.

Edward squeezed my hand. "Don't be too hard on her," he said before he left for the piano room. I could hear him warning the rest of the family to give us some space. I almost felt bad for disrupting their peace, because there was certainly no way this would be quiet. Not with Ashleigh at the helm. She only knew two ways to act in a discussion, sarcastic and annoying or loud and dramatic. Both of which weren't all that great to deal with.

"Sure thing, Rodeo...By the way you'll have to tell me why Emmett calls you that. It seems a bit strange really. I mean don't you guys use fangs rather than ropes to catch your prey? Unless I've got the whole vampire thing wrong. Did Stephenie write about everything or did she miss some things out? Do you know if..."

"Ash, what the hell did you think you were doing?" I cut through her babbling. She always did it when she knew she was in trouble. My guess was that it was a distraction technique. If she talked enough then maybe the person doing the telling off would forget about the main topic of discussion. Not this time, that was the benefit of a vampire brain - a good memory.

There was a poignant pause as I stood cross-armed waiting for Ashleigh to answer.

"I have no idea what you mean," she said as she turned to face me, her posture straight and her eyes daring me to call her out. I wasn't going to back down, not like when we were back in our world. Back then our arguments generally meant nothing, but here she was messing with things that to her may have seemed fictional or inconsequential but they weren't. Relationships and feelings here were just as real as they were in our world. I thought she understood that.

"Don't try and play innocent, Ash. You were a fluttery, giggly, oh-you're-so funny mess with Jacob."

"I was not!" She gasped, flipping her hair in the process.

I just stood there and quirked my eyebrow, staring at her 'surprised' eyes. It didn't take long for her expression to shift and she turned on the sarcastic stare. The look that screamed apathy.

"OK, whatever. Am I not allowed to have a little fun?"

"Ash, this place isn't your personal play ground. You're actions leave lasting effects on this place. You can't just act that way with Jacob and think it's harmless. I can't leave Bella with no one and I know she likes him."

"Yeah but does he like her? He hasn't imprinted on her, so he's still fair game."

That did it. I saw a flash of red and I was inches from her face in a matter of moments. Ashleigh tried to hide her shock but I noticed the way her heart rate sped up and her breathing became shallow. She just turned away, directing her eyes at the glass windows and setting her jaw.

"Fair game? FAIR GAME? Did you seriously just say that? How selfish are you, Ash?You can't play these people. They're not freakin' life sized Barbie dolls. You might not have any real feelings invested in them but I do." I hissed as I tried to restrain the urge to grip her face in my hand and force her to look at me.

I could feel my veins fizzling, feel the way the power made my palms itch and legs twitch with the need to run. I wasn't dangerous yet but I could be if I stayed looking into her insolent eyes any longer. I loved my sister but I had never heard her say something that could be so selfish, uncaring, and arrogant. I'd known her faults and flaws just as I'd known my own but I'd never seen hers demonstrated in such a negative way as she had when she uttered those words. '_fair game'_ the idea that she didn't take anything here seriously was enough to spark my anger, but the very idea that she seemed to think people here didn't count, or that their emotions were insignificant... That was what hurt because I was a part of this world and the idea that she thought that way, and that way of thinking spread across to include me... I couldn't handle the idea that my sister thought of my whole life here as a joke, a game, or a play that was just being acted out.

So I walked away. I turned my back on her in the hope that if I left what she had said behind me, it might become untrue. Just some words that were once said and meant nothing.

I was at the doorway of the lounge when I was halted by her shaky breath.

"I think I love him."

As soon as she said the words I felt everything start to fall apart. I had thought if she was just playing games I could still salvage the situation, make Jacob forget about her because they wouldn't have a real connection. But as soon as she spoke my heart ached because no matter how much I wanted Bella to have her happy ending I couldn't deny my sister anything. She was joined to me by blood and I couldn't help but want to give her anything that made her happy. No matter what had passed between us before.

Still I had to hope that she was just whisked up in the moment of meeting him properly. After all she was young, and impulsive, and she had always been a fan from the books. I had to hope that, just as I had been attracted to Edward when I first met him, it was just the first burst of attraction that would soon fade. I had managed to let mine fade into friendship with Edward and that was seeing him every day. When Ash went home she would forget all about Jacob. I just had to get her to see that.

Plus she had to see the consequences her decision would have for the rest of us:

Bella would be without someone.

Jacob could still imprint on someone else, so there was no certainty that they would last.

Our parents would have lost both daughters from their world.

She would have to live with so many secrets from the people she loved.

"How can you be sure?" I asked as I turned to look at her. Her face had paled and her eyes held a watery glaze. She looked so young, so innocent.

"He makes me happy, he makes everything seem a little brighter, and he makes me want to be close to him." Her hands twisted around each other as she talked, or mumbled. The tigress was back in the cage ...for now.

"Ashleigh, it's just the thrill of meeting the man behind the written words. It's not love. It can't be." My voice was soft but it did nothing to stop her expression from hardening to the strength of steel. Her watery eyes were frozen so they were solid and cold. Her pale face was flushed pink with her new defiance. Tigger was back to play.

"Why not? And don't give me all that crap about consequences. I know that's what's running through your head. 'Oh but he'll imprint', or 'what about mum and dad?', or 'how will she keep all those big secrets?', and finally the real special one which is just a load of bull...'what about Bella?'. You didn't think of any of those things when you got together with Edward. So why should I? I've fallen for Jacob, Holly. Hook, line, and sinker." I tried not to smirk as she imitated my voice. Smirking wouldn't be a good idea, in fact it would be as good an idea as prodding a tiger with a very hot poker.

"You have no idea how much I hurt myself to stop from falling in love with Edward, to try and save the story and give Bella everything she wanted. I tried so hard, and then when I couldn't fight it any longer I made the compromise of giving her Jacob. Now you're going to make me take that away from her!" I paced the room, my arms moving frantically as I talked.

"You're such a hypocrite, Holly. You get to be with Edward, and yet you won't let me be with Jacob because it'll upset poor little Bella. What has she ever done for you? Screw that, what has she ever done for me? Because it's not like I loved her in the books." She spat the words out with such venom that it was hard to remember the sweet cooing voice she had used with Jacob.

"OK then, Ash," I said as I walked slowly towards her. "Let's forget about Bella for a second. Let me just tell you this. I fell for Edward without even knowing, I never stood a chance to fight the gravity that took me over, pulling me down towards him. But you, Ashleigh, you have a _choice_. You're not _falling_ for Jacob. You're just standing on the edge of the cliff. You have the chance to decide whether you want to take the jump and risk everything for a relationship that could leave you on the rocks with nothing, or walk away and stay on the safety of solid ground. Keep a little stability."

"What if he imprinted on me? That would be just like the whole gravity thing you had with Edward. What would you tell me then?"

"Ashleigh. That's not going to happen. It can't because you're not from this world. Imprinting doesn't work on people from our world. There's something in our blood that just stops that supernatural magic stuff." I moved to rub her arm, so form of comfort against the blow I had delivered. She'd never be Jacob's imprint and that would mean there would always be the chance that his imprint could come along into his life and change everything.

My arm was shrugged off violently as another rush of anger gripped Ash."For fucks sake, Holly. Why does everything have to be thought out and considered with you? Why can't you just say 'screw it' and let me have what I want? Oh wait. I know why. You just don't want me to be happy!" Tears leaked down her face and I watched hopelessly as she ran off towards the back terrace.

"If only you knew how wrong you are," I sighed into the silence before flopping down onto the sofa.

I wasn't alone for long before I heard footsteps join me.

"She'll be alright, Hols. Just let her have some time," Alice brushed my arm as the sounds of crying resonated through the house.

"Stupid Jacob Black. Why did he have to be all smiley and topless? Why couldn't he have bad dental hygiene and a flabby beer belly? It would have made this so much easier," I moaned as I snuggled into Edward's side.

"It's just a teenage crush, much like the same one Seth seems to have on her," Edward said as he played with my fingers, brushing kisses over the knuckles and intertwining them with his.

"Do you want me to talk to her?" Alice asked as she sat on my other side.

"No, she's best left alone for a while. Attention just feeds the drama queen in her which isn't what we need. Why don't you and Jasper go out? He probably won't want to be too close with all the emotions she'll be giving off."

Alice gave me a sceptical look before squeezing my hand and skipping off to find Jasper.

More wailing and sniffling drifted through the house causing me to groan and bury my face in Edward's chest.

"You're going to have burn holes in your shirt," I sniffled as more acidic tears sizzled through the fabric.

"It'll just give Alice another excuse to go shopping."

There was silence for a few moments except for the heavy breathing coming from the back terrace.

"When you were talking to Ashleigh, you said something... You said that you fell for me and that you never had a chance of stopping it."

"Mmm."

"Do you regret it? It sounded so involuntary."

I peeked up to look at Edward. He was looking down at me; his eyes searching mine as if they looked right through me to the very heart of my being. I couldn't hide anything from him and I knew that but I didn't want to hurt him by saying the wrong words.

"I don't regret it, but it probably wasn't the easiest of options my life could have taken."

"I understand." His gaze dropped and I saw that flash of doubt in his eyes.

"I don't wish my life was any different. Never. I love you, more than anything. Sure it would have been so much easier if that portal had never opened, if you and I had never met. Because then I wouldn't have lost you and spent all those months wishing I could be with you. I wouldn't have been changed and left my other life behind. But I have no regrets that any of that happened because if that portal hadn't had opened I wouldn't have met you and loved you, and that would have been no life at all." My hand travelled up to his hair and pulled him towards me, pressing my lips to his.

"I love you Edward Cullen, Always have, and always will." I smiled, giving him another peck on the lips.

"I wanted this to be special but... Holly, will you.." He started but I cut him off with a raise of my finger.

"Do you hear that?"

"Holly?"

"Silence. She's not crying, but...I can't even hear her heartbeat, or her breathing." Panic was rising in me, and I leapt from the couch as Edward followed.

"Ashleigh? Ash?" I called as I ran out to the back terrace.

It was dark but not too dark for me to see out to the forest line. To see that no dark figure sat in the Cullen's garden.

"She's gone, Carlisle," Edward answered as the others joined us.

"But we would have heard her leave," Rosalie responded.

"Come on she's probably just snuck off with the Black boy." Emmett smiled but it faltered when Rosalie turned to him.

"Don't you think we would have noticed a werewolf coming onto our lands?" She smacked him around the head as usual.

Footsteps came racing from the forest, and Alice and Jasper quickly came into view.

"Is she here? I had a vision, but it could have been too late," Alice gushed as they stopped in front of us.

"That's impossible Alice she can't just disappear into thin air." Edward hissed as Alice's vision flew through his mind.

"That's where you're wrong." Jasper's stony tone cut through our panic and suddenly it all became clear.

"Torran," I whispered and the full weight of my sister's fate came crashing down on me.

He had her, and I feared he would never give her back... alive.


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Every second counted and every footstep had to be the peak of physical exertion. There was no room for error or any time for relaxation. I knew we were all of the same thoughts as we raced through the forest. We had split into three groups to search the forest for Ash and Torran.

Jasper was with Alice and Esme, Edward was with Carlisle, and I was with Emmett and Rosalie. The hope was that each group had a member of the family who could track Torran in some way.

We had already alerted the Wolves in the hope that they could pick up something on their land, some flickering trace of his scent. I knew it was a long shot but I could hope.

My sneakers were starting to wear at the sides due to the force I had run over the rough terrain. Branches whipped across my skin as I hurled my body through the deep dark forest.

"Anything yet, Holly?" Emmett called as he ran a few hundred metres away from me. My mind was stretched to its limit. Maybe it was the panic coursing through me, making my blood race and my vampire side more pronounced, but I felt like I could sense every memory of my family members. I could feel them tugging at my consciousness, begging for attention, but they weren't the presences I wanted. I was desperate for just a glimpse of that foreign, desperate mind. The one that held nothing but pleading, regretful memories of that beautiful blonde, Ava.

"Nothing yet, Em." I cut out as I launched my body over a branch.

Our whole operation was relying on the connection between me, Edward, and Jasper. If Jasper got a sensation then he passed it to Edward through thought and I got the word from Edward through his memory. If Edward got it Alice would get his decision and tell Jasper and I would get the memory of his discovery. It was a complex but carefully concocted organisation of our skills. It was the best shot we had at finding Ashleigh quickly, and alive.

I through my mind out further, stretching it to its limits as the worry gave me another surge of power.

I had never been so thankful for my oddly mixed blood, never so appreciative of the venom-related abilities that rose to the surface in times like these.

As I turned in an arch to the west, towards the wolves' territory, I felt a tickling sensation imposing on my brain. It was new, and fresh, compared to those of the family which I had become accustomed to as we ran.

I latched onto the thought thread and followed it desperately into the depths of the owners mind.

_The feeling of regret flooded me and I ran my hand over my face, ignoring the maddening scent of blood that drifted under my nose. She didn't smell like Ava, no matter how alike they appeared. Her blood didn't smell of Moonflowers in the rain, instead it was a subtle combination of lemon and cream. Light and vibrant, but not her. She wasn't her. _

_I hadn't meant to hurt her, the girl, whoever she was. The guilt was a strong force as I looked at her unconscious body on the floor, blood flowing from the cut on her head. I hadn't meant it, but she wouldn't be quiet. She wouldn't hold still. She wouldn't let me just hold her. I just wanted to feel her warmth, her skin, her humanity. Just once._

_Just once._

Rage filled me as I pulled out of the memory. He had harmed her. He had dared to touch her against her will. He had drawn her blood and indulged in the scent.

I felt a roar tear up my throat and my legs moved with a speed I had never reached before. There was nothing human left in me now. I was a monster and I thirsted for the death and destruction of Torran. I wanted to rip him to shreds with my own hands.

I forced my way through the undergrowth and called out to Emmett and Rose.

"He's in a cave, to the west." I growled out, sending the same words to Edward via my mind. I noticed Rosalie removing her phone and dialling, but I didn't give much more thought to her actions. I hoped Alice would get a reading on our future and see where we were going. Then again I was more than happy to take Torran on alone. I relished the thought of the fight that awaited me.

I would end him, and I would embrace the feel of his brittle flesh crushing within my hands.

"He's on your territory, in a cave to the west. Are you sure? We're near the creek. Who's close by? I guess you mutts have some uses." Rosalie snapped her phone shut and dodged a little closer towards me as our footsteps moved silent and deadly.

"They say there are only a few caves on the west side. They are sending a few wolves to each but Seth and Embry are closest to us. Look out for them." She rattled off and I nodded through the red haze that was clouding my mind.

I caught a glimpse of Rosalie's memory of me as it came as a quick stab intruding my focus.

_I looked at the girl beside me, a feeling of fury and togetherness fuelling my body. The girls face was set as the perfect picture of ferocity. Her eyes glowed like a blue flame in the pitch black of midnight, and her hair flew out around her, the rich brown tones slicing through the air as she ran. Kinship soared in my veins and with it came hope. Ashleigh had no idea how important she was to Holly. She had no idea how much her sister was willing to risk to save her. As I took another glance at Holly running beside me, determination and hatred lacing her features, I knew she would stop at nothing until Torran had felt her fury. For that protective streak I felt myself bond with her further. We were sisters and what was important to her was important to me. I forced my legs faster...and faster still._

The memory faded and I shot a look at Rosalie, nodding in appreciation.

Torran's presence was a firmer pressure in my head now. I was close, victory was just in reach. Ashleigh would be safe soon. I couldn't doubt it.

"Straight ahead, a couple of miles. Just a few seconds," I said through gritted teeth and I noted Emmett's grin spread on his deadly face. He was weaving in and out of the trees, a wolf thundering twenty metres to his left.

"Let's get ready to rumble." He growled as his fists clenched and he shot off in front of us.

Another wolf joined us from the right and I noticed the mental signature, Seth. He mind was desperate; it was shocking to feel the need that rang through his memories. There was a depth of care hidden there which I had no idea existed.

I didn't let myself focus on that for long. I could see the cave, even though I couldn't hear the heartbeat of my sister. I had to hope it was just because Torran still had his shield up. We couldn't be too late.

I rounded the corner and noticed Emmett standing in the clearing in front of the cave. His arms were thick and spread as he opened up his senses. Torran was hiding behind his shield but my sister was lying on the dirty floor in the depths of the cave. Her hair looked matted and her skin bruised and filthy, but other than that she could have been merely sleeping. Only I knew she wasn't. She had suffered a blow to the head. I could smell the blood leaking from her wound almost as clearly as I had in Torran's memory. It held no appeal in terms of my thirst but it was there and it was so wonderfully vital.

"Hold on Ashleigh. We're coming," I called as I ran for her.

"No! Holly, he's...!" Emmett shouted but it was too late. I collided with an invisible force that sent me flying back and I felt a tree snap against my back.

Seth growled beside me as his hackles stood on end. Concern laced the memory of me landing against the tree. I touched his shoulder to show I was OK and watched as Emmett raced through the darkness of the cave, dodging from side to side like a footballer in training. He was almost close to Ashleigh when his massive body was flung against the thick stone wall of the cave. Rubble grumbled around him as he landed, but it didn't have time to settle on him because he was advancing again. This time Rose was in tow weaving in the opposite directions to Emmett while I took the chance to race down the middle. I just hoped our attempt at swarming Torran would work to our advantage.

All the rage that had filled me on the run here was translated to worry and need. I could sacrifice the urge to kill if it meant Ashleigh would be safe in my arms.

As I reached Ashleigh I heard the wolves join the blind fight in the cave. None of them knew where Torran was but that didn't stop their determination. Whenever someone was fired a blow the others swarmed to the space to try and grab the perpetrator.

Bu it wasn't working, we were facing a fight where each of us were at a disadvantage. As I reached to wrap Ashleigh in my arms I felt a vice like grip surrounding my throat, pulling me back as it tightened.

I kicked and twisted but I was helpless as I watched my sister get further away from me.

"Don't. Touch. Her." A growl sounded in my ear and I knew Torran's possessive nature would be his downfall. He had revealed himself in a moment of reckless emotion and that moment was all that was needed for Rosalie to launch herself at him, latching on to his back before he could flicker back into invisibility.

"Run, Holly. Take Ashleigh and run," she hissed as Torran disappeared beneath her grasp. It would have been funny to see her clutching to thin air. That was if I wasn't so consumed with fear.

In seconds I clutched Ashleigh's limp body to my chest and ran for the entrance of the cave. As I cleared it I noticed the wolves forming a blockade. Torran wouldn't leave without forcing his way through.

I could feel Ashleigh's heartbeat reverberating through my chest, battling with my own that thrummed a million beats a minute. I may have had her in my arms but we weren't safe, not yet.

My feet passed over the tough terrain like satin over marble. I was soundless except for my breathing. It was because of the silence that I heard it, the snapping of twigs and the brushing of leaves as they caressed another body.

I had a pursuer and they were gaining on me. I knew I couldn't run any faster, not that Ashleigh was heavy in my arms, but because my human side was awakening again. I was losing power and the vampire behind me wasn't.

"For Christ sake, Ashleigh, look what we've gotten ourselves into," I hissed as I weaved through the trees. They were close, whoever it was.

A mental signature filtered into my mind and it made my veins run cold.

_Forest passes at extraordinary speed. Bracken and debris scatters and breaks under my velocity, my rage. They thought wolves could stop me? Wolves? Let that young one's blood be on their hands for their ignorant mistake. She's _mine_! And no one will take her from me. I can hear her. Her heartbeat, her breathing. Her sister can run with her but they can't hide. You can't fight fate._

"No, no, no. Ash, you had better be praying right now because we're going to need it," I gasped at my unconscious sister, huffing when her face showed nothing but tranquillity. Not even a pucker or a frown coated her face.

A scent crossed my senses and I felt my hope rise like a phoenix out of the desolate ashes. We weren't lost yet.

_The anger, the rage. I could hear it in his every step. It was making him reckless. I could smell him but he wasn't the scent I was paying attention to. It was her. Only her. Hers was the fragrance I treasured and looked for. I could hear her frantic footsteps and words as she raced ahead of me, but she was slowing. She couldn't slow down. I couldn't lose her. Holly, love, run to the house. I'm behind you but Torran is following. The family is coming but Seth is injured. You have to keep going, love._

My heart clenched at Edward's words. If he was behind me and Torran was behind him, he was the only thing between Torran reaching us. I couldn't bear the thought of him fighting Torran alone but I couldn't double back. It was Edward or Ashleigh and it was the worst version of Sophie's choice.

_He was closer now, Torran. Any minute we'll meet. I wheel around and I see him facing me. His eyes are just darkness. They match his thoughts. His hands stiffen to form claws and his posture crouches. He's going to spring, but I'm ready. For her I'll fight till either his head rolls or mine. Don't hesitate, Holly. Run! _Edward's urgent memory slammed into my brain and I felt the first wave of tightness settle in my chest. I couldn't watch his mind anymore, I couldn't take it. I could feel every blow; I saw every calculating thought pass through Torran's mind.

As I experienced Edward's body slamming against a nearby bolder I felt the first sob rip through my throat.

"I can't lose him, Ashleigh. I just can't." Still I ran, trying desperately to block out the fight that held my heart in the balance.

I saw the Cullen house through the trees and it had never looked so good.

Another flash of memory came, crashing over me as I ran for the porch.

_The blow had caught me off guard. The way he fought with his shield was deadly. I could feel his thoughts but without sight of him I couldn't pinpoint his exact location. My blow missed him by inches and I felt his foot connect with my chest. As I flew through the air I listened in horror as he ran. He ran for her, and he ran fast._

I didn't waste any time thinking through my actions. I launched myself at the portal, flying through the mist and landing with a heavy thud on my bed. Ashleigh stirred below me and I quickly lifted myself off her.

She was safe here. I'd be back to check on her once this is over. Once Torran had perished.

Without a second glance at my sister I ran through the filmy surface of the poster.

I was met by destruction. Torran and Edward were connecting in furious clashes, growls ripping from their throat.

Then Torran saw me, and he saw her behind me. Her body buried in the covers of a bed that had no way of existing within the Cullen house.

I watched as madness and desperation ricocheted through his mind. He craved her like an addict and the very idea of what he had planned for her sent my mind into a fury.

But then Edward's eyes caught mine, and they were so cold and filled with anger and fear.

"The portal, Holly. Go! Now!" I spun as Torran struggled against Edward, slipping from his grasp.

I could hear his roars behind me.

I spun as soon as I was on the other side of the portal and the last thing I saw before it closed was Torran's hands clawing at the edges. The poster ripped and tore where he clung to it; desperately trying to pull himself through and away from Edward's grasping hands.

His eyes were wild, feral, as he snarled at me. He was the encapsulation of madness.

I heard the arrival of the rest of the family as the portal slowly shut that world out. It didn't melt back to the usual image instead it jerked and faltered, until it closed to reveal nothing of the previous Edward poster.

It was ruined, torn, and shredded over the surface.

I felt my heart pounding, loud and furious over the calm silence of my old room.

Seagulls cawed in the background, competing with the sounds of hustle and bustle from the town.

Ashleigh stirred on the bed and I turned to lean over her, examining the damage.

"Urgh, my head." Ashleigh clutched at the egg shaped injury. It looked worse than I hoped it was. The swelling would go down along with the ugly bruising. She may still have a small scar where the cut was, just at her hairline, but once I cleaned the wound of all the congealed blood I hoped her injuries would just be on the surface.

"Ash. Apart from your head, are you OK?" I asked softly. I could see her eyes starting to widen and her hands starting to shake.

"His eyes...dark a-and then he..."

_I was outside the Cullen's home and it was dark but not complete darkness. I could see the tree line and the glow of the lights spilling out onto the grass. But then it changed. I felt a sharp blow to my head and then true blackness came._

_My eyes are groggy and I felt cold to the bone. The floor was damp and dirty below my hands as I scrabble to find something familiar. My limbs are shaking but I wasn't sure if it's from fear or the freezing temperatures of the place. "You're safe, my love." A voice drifts through the darkness but it's just as chilling as the breeze._

_"Who the fuck are you?" I asked but a tight grip latches onto my arm, pulling me upwards._

_"All these years of searching, centuries, and you don't even know my voice?" the words were hissed and I felt myself recoil from the anger. As I tried to pull away I felt a soft touch stroke across my face. It's like ice but my skin is already numb from the cold so I barely register the feel of it._

_"I'm sorry, my love. Forgive me." The voice is so soft and seductive that I can't help but sigh at the sound of it. I can feel movement and soon breath is tickling the back of my neck and I can feel his nose skimming the length of my neck._

_"Don't! Let go you freak!" I yelled, my mouth running off before my brain took time ot think._

_"I'm here, my love, after all these years we're finally together." He hummed as his hands travelled along my rib cage. I fight against him, struggling with his arms as they wrap around me like a boa constrictor._

_"I'm not you're love. Now get off me creep. For fuck's sake this is why I prefer werewolves to vamps. You're a fucking freaky bunch." I say as I push with all my might._

_"Werewolves! You chose a WOLF?" A blow connects with my arm and I can feel the whoosh of air as I fly through it. Then comes the pain and my scream makes him come running. If only he wouldn't whoever the freak was._

_"I'm sorry, my darling. I love you. I would _die_ for you." He murmurs as his hands run over my injury. The cold helps but his touch makes my skin crawl._

_"Then please do. Fuck off and die, because I certainly don't want you." I spit in his face as his grip tightens. It's not grasping anymore, it's angry. Oops._

_"You . don't. Want. Me? You think I will just walk away after all this time?" Why didn't I keep my mouth shut. A harsh shove sends me to the floor and my head bounces off a protruding rock. It's agony, like the worst headache in the world but it doesn't last for long because darkness is my friend again and I welcome it gladly._

As my mind faded back to the present I could feel Ashleigh shaking uncontrollably in my arms. Her eyes were starting to roll back in her head and her teeth were chattering with the force of her movements.

"I'm sorry, Ashleigh. I'm so sorry." I sobbed as my baby sister fitted in my arms. He mind was just a blur of static and electricity and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I held her firmly to try and stop her from hurting herself further but that was all I could do.

I may have saved her life but her memories would be forever scarred.

**A/N: So yeah. Torran's a bit of a nut case.**

**x**


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: This chapter was surprisingly easy to write and kind of a lot of fun, which might make me seem like a bit of an odd person once you've read it.**

**x**

I sat with Ashleigh for hours; the sun crept across the sky and hung low in west by the time my parents got home. It wasn't a peaceful wait. I had a constant itch across my skin because I worried for the Cullens, for Edward. When I had seen the portal closed it wasn't a sight of victory or finality. I didn't see Torran ripped apart or Edward's grasp tight around him. It was all so uncertain, and even though the Cullens had arrived that wasn't any promise of success. Torran could have evaded them; he could have turned on his shield and ran. Or, the worst thing my mind could bear to contemplate, he could have killed them. He could have killed Edward and I wouldn't know.

But I couldn't leave my sister. She looked too weak and childlike in my arms for me to lay her down on the bed and leave. Instead I watched her sleeping. I watched the way her brow puckered and her body flinched as the memories haunted her dreams. It was all just darkness, she had never seen Torran's face, but that seemed to make it worse for her. He was just a voice and force in the darkness and she was imagining the worst. She saw frightening red eyes raking her skin and black ratty hair framing a ghostly pale face. She imagined claws and blood and rancid teeth. He was a monster to her. And even though he was made to be handsome and nothing like how she imagined, he was still as much of a monster as she imagined.

I heard the front door open and close closely followed by my mother's footsteps coming up the stairs, her shoes brushing on the cream carpet.

"Mum," I called softly because I hadn't talked for hours and it felt like my throat was welded shut with the fear and worry I was stricken with.

"Mum," I called a little louder but carefully so that I didn't wake Ash.

I heard her coming towards the room and when she looked around the door I saw the transcendence of her expression for happiness to worry and shock. I had never felt so much of a disappointment, a failure, a weakness. They had trusted me to look after Ashleigh, to keep her safe, and here she lay with bruises and scrapes, cuts and nightmares. All because I couldn't protect her and I had let her be taken. At least that was how it felt.

"Holly? What on earth happened?" My lip shook and I felt my eyes build with tears.

"Oh, Mum." She rushed towards me as my head slumped and I felt all my shame wash away as she wrapped her arms around me.

"Shhh, sweetie. It's alright. I'm here." She rubbed circles on my back as I tried to keep my tears from dropping on her skin.

"Honey I'm home!" My dad's voice echoed up the stairs and Mum called him up to us. As soon as he entered the room I saw his eyes rove over Ashleigh's sleeping battered body and my weeping form.

"What the hell happened?" he asked, his voice rising as he walked to stroke Ashleigh's face.

"Jason," Mum hissed, a warning for him to keep his voice down.

"Well, Holly? How come your sister leaves for a week and comes back black and blue with an egg on her head." He was angry; I could hear it in his voice. Or maybe he was just scared to know the ordeal we had been through. Maybe he didn't really want to know the details because he liked looking at the Cullens as if they were normal people, not vampires. Not vampires who were capable of hurting someone like Ashleigh had been hurt – even if it wasn't them who did it.

"I...I'm so sorry." I spluttered.

"Honey, just tell us what's happened," Mum said softly in my ear and although it hurt to recount everything that had happened, from the moment we met Torran to the second they arrived, I did it. I left out no detail and I hid from none of the blame. I knew I was at fault for not being more careful, for driving her to tears and out into the darkness. I accepted that blame and took it to sit heavy on my shoulders. There was no strength in cowering away from it.

"So he's dead, this piece of shit, Torran," Dad asked at the end as Mum stroked Ashleigh's hair, looking at her as if she were the most precious thing in the world.

I glanced at the shredded poster on the wall and bit my lip against the anxiety. "I don't know, Dad. I left with Ashleigh and I haven't been back to check...to check on them. I don't even know if Edward's..." I gasped for breath and Dad watched me as he paced. I could see he was torn between keeping me here for more questions and letting me go to the Cullens.

"You go see if everyone's alright, Holly-berry, but you bring them back here when you're done. We need to talk about this." I nodded solemnly at my father's words and rose from the bed Ashleigh still lay in.

I walked across the room to the poster and stood before it, waiting for the surface to melt away.

It didn't.

I gave it a couple more minutes but nothing changed. The eyes didn't glow, the surface didn't ripple, not even a flicker of changed occurred except for the movement of the shreds in a draft.

My heart sped up as I reached out to touch the paper. It felt no different, just like paper, just like an ordinary ruined poster.

"No," I mumbled as I swept my hands over its entirety.

"_No,"_I repeated. This couldn't be happening. It had to work, it just had to. There was no way I could have lost him, not after everything, not now.

"No! No! Edward! It can't be broken. It can't be." My hands moved in frantic, delicate movements. I was desperate to find a way through but there was nothing there.

"Holly, honey, give it time," Mum said from behind me.

"No, it doesn't need time. It always works," I replied. My voice had raised an octave and I felt my eyes start to itch again with fresh tears.

"It always works," I growled as I thumped my fists against the wreck before me. I clenched my eyes shut to stop the dizziness of despair claiming me.

"It always works. I have to see him," I whispered as my head fell against the wall. I could feel the paper tickling my face where the edges curled.

"Holls, look at it," Dad said quietly but I heard him loud and clear. His words cut and sliced because I didn't want to see the mess in front of me. I didn't want to recognise that it wasn't in the same state it always had been. I wanted to look up and see the Cullen world in front of me, Edward standing with his arms open and his smile inviting me to fill them.

When I opened my eyes none of that was there. Edward wasn't there; the world I had lived in and loved wasn't a footstep away. It was a whole other universe and the thought of that distance was crippling.

I felt my father's hand touch my shoulder as I slumped to the ground before he crouched down with me. His arms wrapped around me as I sobbed and felt like I was no longer a hybrid of any kind. I was just his little girl, his little human girl. I had never felt so weak.

Eventually I slipped into darkness. I wasn't sure if it was because the sun had set or the pain had just taken hold – numbed me. Either way I didn't care. I welcomed it and so it seeped through me, claiming me for the dark days that waited.

* * *

I couldn't say how long passed, or how long I stayed in a state of blindness. I just counted the days in terms of Ashleigh's health. First came the reduction of the swelling, I guessed that was a week, maybe two. Then the time passed and her bruises changed from black to purple and purple to blue, working down the scale as the dead blood oxidised beneath the surface. Each new shade counted as another few days to me.

It was when her bruises were yellow and her cut was an angry scabby line that I finally saw something, thought something other than 'he's gone'. I could feel my mind stirring as I stared at the poster, as I had for hours on end over the weeks. The shock was subsiding and my mind was starting to churn. The portal didn't work because it had been damaged, but all things that had been damaged could be repaired. They could be made to look good as new and they could serve their purpose again. Just because a teapot's handle falls off doesn't mean it'll never be able to pour tea again. All that was needed was some time and patience.

It was with these thoughts that I scavenged through the house during the night. My family slept but I would waste no hours on the pointless habit. I never had over the past few weeks. Not until my eyes fell shut with exhaustion did I sleep, and not until my body ached with hunger did I eat. My time had no place for the trivial things like eating and sleeping. All it focussed on was him, the life we had before, the future that seemed to fade from me every day, and the way to get it all back.

I felt feverish with excitement as I sat in front of the poster, my tools in my hands. I pulled the first strip of tape from the roll and snapped it off with my teeth, laying it over the first curling strand of paper.

I could see his eye.

I continued throughout the night and day, painstakingly sticking down every scrap of the poster. Bit by bit Edward's face came into view, and bit by bit I felt my hope rise. This had to be the way back; if I fixed everything then it would work again. But when it was complete nothing happened. I sat there for hours but nothing happened. Still I didn't give up; instead I searched the room for flecks of paper, small pieces that were otherwise missing.

I worked until my eyes turned as black as my mood. It was an obsession, I knew that. I even growled at my mother when she came to vacuum because I was so sure she'd vacuum up the speck of paper that would stop the poster from being complete. I felt like I had a right to treat her that way because nothing else mattered to me except fixing the portal. Nothing else mattered except Edward. There was part of me that hated what I had become, how I treated my family who loved me enough to deal with my behaviour. But that part was silenced by my screaming heart. The one that hoped it's pleads would be loud enough to cross oceans mountains, universes.

When my eyes could find no more scraps of paper, and my mind couldn't think about the failure anymore, I fell through the black hole in my chest and I just existed.

I didn't live but I imitated it, if not for the sake of passing time then for the sake of my family. They didn't deserve to see me stuck in catatonia. So I tried to act like my heart wasn't bleeding and my body didn't ache.

I couldn't go outside for obvious reasons. If I was discovered by anyone who knew me then too many questions would be asked. The house that had once been my home became my prison and the bed that once held so many happy memories became the place I sat to drown in my misery. I could stare out the window for days without moving or I could force myself to become consumed by a simple task such as organising photo albums or listening to music. I knew my behaviour was odd and noticed by my family so I tried to act as normally as possible but I wasn't entirely sure what normal was to me anymore. It was just that the pain of losing Edward was excruciating, threatening to engulf me completely. I could ignore it, but that didn't mean I couldn't _feel _it. And, God, how I felt it. It was in every step, every fake smile, every word, it wrapped around me, pledging to swallow me whole. I was sure that, soon enough, I was going to buckle from the pain. There was only so much one can feel. And it was only a matter of time before I would completely break down. Not that I showed how close to destruction I was. I would never let on that below my quiet surface there was desperation and turmoil. I was, after all, good at hiding below a layer of lies. It was in my nature as a vampire.

Waking without the idea of seeing Edward didn't feel right. Spending the days with just memories seemed hollow. On the bad days I could get so lost in the memories that I could feel him touching my skin, his kisses upon my face, or his breath on my neck as he wrapped me in his arms.

It was in this state that I sat here, watching the world go by from my bed. It was autumn now, three months had passed me by and yet they had seemed like years, centuries. The apple tree was as desolate as me with not a single leaf lining its branches. Below it, the fruits of its harvest lay decaying and putrid. They could have been so sweet, the apples, but they weren't given the chance. Instead they fell to the ground and were claimed by the things waiting there to destroy them. I could draw the similarities easily.

"Holly." Ashleigh's voice pierced my conscience and I turned my head slowly to see her in the doorway, a tray of food in her hand. It was Sunday roast, so at least I had a marker for what day it was. It looked mouth-watering, but it would be untouched.

"Mum thought you might like something. Since, you know, you haven't eaten since, like, forever." Ashleigh flicked her hair and I caught a glimpse of the gash healing in her head. Her face was free of bruises but that cut still remained hidden under her side fringe.

"I haven't eaten since last Saturday, Ashleigh, not forever." I smiled slightly until it hurt too much to keep it up.

"The Saturday before that actually, but whatever. They want you to have your strength up, you know, for tomorrow. They don't know how you'll take it." I knew what she was talking about. It was the trial, Jack's trial for my death. Although I didn't see how something so trivial could ever mean much to me now.

I shrugged and turned to look back out the window.

"You know you're lucky you're immortal, Holls, otherwise you'd have starved to death by now and then how would Mum and Dad feel? Have you thought about that while you've been shut up here? How much it's hurting them?" Ashleigh slammed the tray down on my desk top as she glared at me.

I snapped out of my numb daze. My face came within inches of hers and I felt my black eyes burn. Since I hadn't eaten in so long my body was more vampire than human and I felt it in the depths of my bones as I glared at my sister.

"How much this is hurting _them_? Believe me, Ashleigh, I've thought about it, but the guilt seems to be drowned out by the _agony_ I feel. I lost him, Ashleigh. He was everything to me and we've been ripped apart. Can you imagine that kind of heartache, that kind of desperation?" My rage made my body ripple with electricity and for a moment it helped burn off the grief. For a moment I didn't feel like my other half was missing. The anger set me free for a few precious seconds.

"I'm sorry, Holly," Ashleigh sobbed before she ran out of my room, leaving the door to shut behind her. As soon as she left I felt the regret for my actions and I glanced at the food, contemplating eating it - as if taking a mouthful would relinquish me from the guilt of my action.

But who was I kidding, that idea blew away like ash on the wind. How could eating anything make me feel any better? I had actually grown to like the hunger, that empty feeling somehow felt like it fit. It was the physical representation of how I felt emotionally since my body refused to waste away.

The next morning I heard my parents getting ready to head to court. Dad would wear his black suit and Mum would wear her black wide leg trousers and pastel pink shirt, and they would look like the grieving parents as they watched Jack from the gallows.

Part of me wanted to go with them and watch in disguise, but the apathy won over so I stayed put. Apathy was my greatest friend, since none of my others had the time to come around, too busy travelling or working to know what had happened. It was because of my friendship with apathy that I didn't care that I sat wearing the same clothes I had for the past three months. They still smelt of blood, and the woods, and that fateful day. Maybe it was a bad decision on my part to remain in them, keeping myself stuck in that day when it all went wrong.

_Alice would be horrified._ I thought with a sardonic smile that quickly faded. I missed them, each and every one of them. Edward may have been the focus of my heart's desire but that didn't mean the others didn't feature in my thoughts.

I looked towards the cold Sunday roast on my desk. I contemplated taking a bite but instead I picked it up and took it downstairs. As I placed it in the fridge I heard the front door slamming and the heated voices of my parents.

"How can they? He killed her for Christ sake! There was no fucking mistake when he drove that car into her," my dad bellowed and I stayed static looking out of the utility window.

"Jason. We'll just have to appeal. Trust me I'm not standing for this. He murdered my little girl; there is no way I'm having him walking around free again in just 5 years time."

"Diminished responsibility my arse! What the fuck do these lawyers get paid for? Does a life mean nothing?" I heard dad's shoes hitting the floor as Ashleigh ran up the stairs. I could hear every tear that fell onto her cheek and every spring that complained as she threw herself onto her bed.

"We should try and keep calm. Holly's had enough to deal with without this. She wouldn't want us worked up," Mum said and I could hear their voices coming into the kitchen.

"It's OK," I said quietly and heard their gasp as they realised where I was.

"You're out of your room," Dad stuttered as he watched me emerge for the dim lighting in the utility. I wasn't sure if his words stumbled from shock of seeing me outside my room, or from just seeing me. Seeing what I had become over the months - the lank hair, the black eyes, the drawn and gaunt face that seemed incapable of a smile. I wasn't even a shadow of my former self.

"It happens sometimes, Dad." I tried to joke but my voice was flat. "I was bringing the tray down." Mum's eyes flashed with hope.

"Do you want anything else to eat? You must still be hungry even after that."

"No, thanks but I was just putting the leftovers in the fridge. I didn't want it to be wasted." Mum's shoulders sagged and she turned away to sit disheartened at the kitchen table. Somehow the sunny yellow colour didn't seem capable of brightening the mood.

"So Jack has been sentenced?" I asked as I watched Dad start to make a cup of tea for him and Mum.

"Yeah." He hung his head and then slammed the cupboard doors shut, deciding that something stronger was needed rather than just tea.

I watched as he poured himself a whiskey straight, taking a gulp before sitting at the table with his head in his hands.

"Five years, Holly. That's what the judge said. Five fucking years and he might get out earlier if he's good," Dad growled into his palms.

"Where are they keeping him now? Did he go straight to jail?" I asked.

"No, he's spending the night in the court holding cells. I'm guessing they move him tomorrow."

I didn't move. I could still hear Ashleigh's sobbing above us and that mixed with the desolate looks on my parent's faces made my blood run cold. They were being destroyed. My behaviour was bad enough but Jack's trial had been their last hint of hope. They had wished for justice and here it was slipping away from them. I couldn't have them destroyed, not by Jack. I may not have been able to fix myself but I could make him pay and give them some of the peace they deserved.

"You should get some sleep," I suggested as I took a few steps towards them.

"The bins have to go out and the dishwasher needs to be done." Mum reeled off, her excuses being nullified by the tiredness in her voice.

I took another few steps and rested my hand on her shoulder, rubbing circles on the tense muscles.

"I can do that." Mum turned to look at me with confusion.

"Are you sure?" I smiled down at her and nodded.

"You and Dad get some sleep. It's dark enough for no one to see me and it'll be nice to do something, take my mind off...things." I smiled tightly as I finished and they rose with uncertain movements.

Mum placed a kiss on my cheek before she left and Dad wrapped his arms around me. I noticed the way he flinched. There was no heat left in my body. I was cold and hard, right ot the core.

"You're a good girl, Holly-berry, things will work out soon. They have to," he mumbled in my ear before pressing a kiss against my hair.

I watched him slip around the corner of the doorway, the same way Mum had went, and then their footsteps trudged up the stairs.

I carried out the menial tasks slowly while I waited for their breathing to become deep and heavy like Ashleigh's.

As the moon shone brightly in the sky and each star came into existence I felt my plan build and my mind set.

Five years wasn't enough. Jack needed to be punished for what he had done to me. Part of me even felt the need to blame him for what was happening to me now. If he had never ran me down then I would never have been changed and I would never have been able to feel _this,_ the immense hollow feeling within me. I could still have been me. I wouldn't have put my parents through seeing what I was now. I wouldn't have to see their eyes look at me and fall darkened as they saw no life left.

Jack had to pay, and the price would be high.

When the clock struck midnight I slipped my body off the kitchen chair, turned off the light, and passed soundlessly out the front door – my old key pressed firmly in my hand.

I took a wary look up and down the street before I took off, my legs running too fast for anyone to notice. If any CCTV cameras caught me it would seem like just a blur in the footage. If any human eye saw me I would just be a flickered in their mind.

As I tore through the urban wildness I didn't stop to think about how it felt to be in my hometown again. I had no other thoughts than how Jack could feel what I was feeling. How I could make him understand how much he had cost me.

I could feel my veins hissing as their contents rushing through my system.

I was close now. I could see the building in front of me and the small side section that held the cells. I wouldn't have known before but I could hear the heartbeats of the inmates as they rang through the thick concrete.

I felt saliva rush into my mouth as my anticipation grew. My fists itched to inflict damage.

I scaled the wall, reaching the roof and crawling until I found a skylight.

It didn't take much to force the lock and jump down through the ceiling into the holding cells. I took a moment to check for CCTV and disconnected the power cable to the one I found. If the police monitored it then fine, it would just make this quicker, but I somehow doubted they paid much attention.

I was silent as I moved and I saw the concrete, soundproof cells in front of me. Their heavy steel doors had a small window of safety glass, allowing me to peer in on each of the sleeping prisoners.

I sauntered along the row until finally I looked in and saw him. Cell 5, Jack. He looked almost innocent as he slept on his metal ledge. His hair wasn't as clean shaven as it had been the day he killed me, but it still showed the shape of his skull. I watched as his chest rose and fell, and listened has his heart thumped wetly in his ribcage.

_Not much longer._

I gripped the handle in my hand and turned, listening to the screeching complaint of the lock as it was forced back.

I grinned when I heard it shatter. It wasn't my success in breaking the lock that made me smile, it was the hitch in Jack's breathing as his brain started to wake up.

I pushed the door effortlessly and it drifted open in near silence.

"Hello, Jack," I said sweetly as his groggy face peered into the darkness, his weak eyes trying to see.

"Who's that? If this is a drugs raid I swear I ain't got anything, they checked me before I came in here." I chuckled at the way his voice sounded so submissive. He'd been taken down a peg or too since I last saw him.

I turned on the light. I wanted him to see exactly who was here to see him as I shut the door behind me. "Remember me, Jack?" I asked as my head tilted to the side.

His eyes widened and I heard his heart skip a beat.

"What the fuck? ...Holly? Guard? Fuck, this can't be real!" He scrabbled to push himself away from me on the bed but his body was going nowhere.

"There's no guard here, Jack. I take from your reaction you remember who I am. What you did to me."

"You should be dead. They said you were dead." Jack's dark eyes looked at me in horror before they scanned the room for an escape.

"You should be in jail for life, but that's not true either is it, Jack." I took a step forward and my veins sung. My senses were heightened. I could smell his fear in the air and it smelt like victory and justice.

"You're dead. They buried you. I read about it." I watched him as he blinked harshly, as if trying to wake up from a dream. "I saw you bounce off my bonnet."

I flashed to wrapped my hand around his throat and bring my mouth to his ear. "That isn't something you should really be bringing up right now, is it," I hissed in his ear and I heard him whimper. It was invigorating feeling his throat struggle under my grip, to feel the fruitless gasping of breath passing under my touch.

The smell of urine entered my nostrils and I dropped him instantly with disgust. "You're pathetic. You were when I knew you and you still are now."

"What...What are you? You're different. Your eyes, your skin. You're not h-human," he stuttered as his heart pounded.

"I'm dead, remember." I smiled sardonically at him, watching how his blood drained from his cheeks and left him pale and sickly.

"You know I'm not very good at this kind of thing, revenge. So I can't guarantee this will be quick."

"Revenge? I'm in prison, isn't that enough?" Jack asked with a shaking voice.

"You _murdered _me in cold blood. You ripped my life from me. If that were you, do you think five years would be _enough_?" I growled as I paced his cell.

"N-No?"

"No. It isn't. You need to feel what it's like. That kind of pain." I crept towards him, enjoying the way his shaking increased with each step.

"P-Please, don't. I'll do anything. I'll plead guilty. I'll change my statement. P-Please don't hurt me." His begging was supposed to make me feel sorry for him but all it did was irritate me.

"I wasn't going to hurt you. I'm going to kill you." I snapped as my hand reached out and twisted his arm. I heard the screams before the crack.

"Stop, p-please."

"I'm only getting started, Jack. I'm just playing with you." I cooed as I pouted. Even I could tell my eyes would be glinting with my enjoyment. This helped, this rage was a distraction. It made hurting easier if I could hurt someone else.

"You...You b-b-bitch!" Jack clutched his injured arm.

"I was hoping you'd say that." I snarled as my slap made his head ricochet to the right.

I laughed as his head lolled and his mouth groaned against the pain.

His heart was flying but it didn't quite do it for me anymore. It was no fun if I couldn't hear and see his reaction, if he just sat there half unconscious. A pathetic sack of human bones and flesh.

I had so badly wanted to come here and rip him limb for limb but now that desire just didn't hold me. I could imagine the disappointment my parents would have because no matter how I covered it up they would still know. Plus I didn't want to be a murderer, not really. I wanted Jack dead but I didn't want to be the one to do it. I didn't want his dirty blood on my hands.

I leant forward, touching my finger to his chin to angle his ear to my lips.

"I could kill you, right now I could snap your neck and it would mean nothing to me. But I won't because I'm better than you. I'm not a killer. However I expect something in return for my mercy. You will change your statement. You will accept you punishment. Because if you don't, if you choose to walk free in five years time. I will be waiting for you. I will make sure you enjoy not even a whole day of freedom before I end you for good. Are we understood?" I asked and I smirked as a faint groan gave me my agreement.

"That's a good boy," I said sweetly before getting up to leave.

It was just as I was at the doorway that I heard him mutter.

"Bitch." The last syllable was barely out of his mouth before I backhanded him and shut him up for good. His unconscious form slumped on his bed. You'd think he was asleep if you knew no better. That and if you cleaned off his bloody nose and bleeding head. Maybe rearranged his mangled arm and sealed up his split lip.

I shut the door behind me, letting it rest and the broken lock slid limply to hold it shut. I plugged the camera back in and climbed back through the skylight into the night air.

I inhaled deeply before I ran, flying across the ground. I felt better. Not quite content or satisfied but I wasn't as bleak as before. Jack had paid a price and although it wasn't the one I wanted to reap from him, it was good enough.

_Of course I could always change my mind._ I snickered as I slipped in through the front door and up to my room. For the first time in far too long I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes and I slept and dreamed of Edward.


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: Thank you so much to those who are still with me on this story, and those who have reviewed have really given me the kick up the arse I needed. Here's the next update, and I realise I should probably stop posting them at odd hours of the day, and odd days of the week. But what can you do...**

**Till next time, happy reading.**

**x**

My act became a little easier to perform after I had vented some of my anger through Jack. Still it was just an act, a facade. I came out of my room more often – watching TV with the family or just sitting with Mum as she cooked. They were little things but they seemed to help my family, or at least they pretended it did. Maybe our whole family was just turning into a falsity, hiding under the layers of smiles and pleasant conversation.

There was however a day when the joy and relief on my parents faces was pure and undiluted. It was the day they got the phone call from Jack's defence lawyer. I knew it was coming, or at least I had a strong feeling it was. Of course there was a side of me that wished it hadn't because then I would have an excuse to pay Jack another visit. However, it came and I watched as my parents hugged each other as if they needed two bodies to truly feel the happiness of the moment.

I had stayed at a distance, the same as Ashleigh, while they told us the news. I didn't miss the look Ashleigh gave me. I could fake innocence to my parents because they wanted to see the best in me, but I couldn't hide my bloody hands from my sister. That was the thing with siblings; they don't have to think the best of you. They are more than capable of seeing your flaws, but what sets them apart from every other person is that they disregard those flaws because you're joined by blood. That bond can mean so much. So much, in fact, that you feel the need to stay with them, even though your heart wants to be somewhere else.

Jack had changed his plea and, according to his lawyer, he had appeared to have suffered some form of mental breakdown. He had engaged in extensive bodily harm and, starting recently, had been suffering from nightmares and delusions of my presence. The lawyer believed it was his guilt that had driven him to the behaviour, and I was more than happy for him to think that way. After all, what else could he possibly believe? I was dead, or at least that's what my death certificate claimed. Who was really going to believe otherwise?

Once that gem of news was out in the open I was left to ponder my usual things. Edward, the Cullens, the Twilight world, and how it had all happened. I had never really related much to Bella in the books. I always found her character to be a portrayed too much like 'the little woman'. She cooked, cleaned, read old fashioned books. She didn't have any modern interests really. Music was never mentioned, whether it was likes of dislikes. Then there was the way she threw aside all ambition just to be with Edward. She had no drive to go to college and better herself. She didn't strive to make new friends outside of the Cullen family. She irritated me at times with her lack of motivation and self-worth. However, now, I finally found a way I could relate to Bella Swan. The feeling of losing Edward, whether he walked away or fate split you apart, hurt more than I could have ever imagined. I finally understood Bella's feelings in New Moon because I was cycling through almost all of them, and had been from the moment I realised the portal was broken. The only difference was that Bella had Jacob to pick her up. She had ordinary life to distract her mind. I had none of those things. I couldn't walk around, enjoy the sunlight, or steal away to my cove. I just had to stay in the house for fear of exposure. I couldn't socialise with new people because that again risked exposure. I couldn't even talk with my friends because they were all out of contact. Some were travelling, working, at university, doing volunteer work. I hadn't rang them out of apathy and they hadn't called out of ignorance. I didn't blame them, not in the least. They had their lives to live. They didn't need the problems of a dead girl and her broken heart hanging over them.

I knew they would be here if I asked them, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want to be the oddity that they had to always come back to. They'd make new friends at university, fall in love, have families, and build their lives. I couldn't keep dragging them back to me.

It was a week after the news about Jack and Ashleigh came back from her shopping trip, thundering up the stairs before knocking on my door. That was something else that had changed, Ashleigh knocked now instead of barging in. Something had changed her and I wasn't sure if it was my behaviour, her ordeal with Torran, or just regular maturity. Either way she wasn't as happy go lucky when it came to me.

"Come in, Ash." I sighed as I put _Dracula_ down on the bedside table. It was a good read, and fascinating to see how vampires made their literary debut.

Ashleigh stepped in with an HMV bag clutched in her hands.

"You don't have to knock, you know," I murmured as I examined the bag. It was too big for CD's or DVD's. My mind did an inventory of what HMV usually sold as Ashleigh stared at the Edward poster.

_I was lying in the dark, the nightmare still vivid in my mind. It felt like I could still feel those red eyes burning on my skin, branding me. I shifted from the bed and headed down the hall towards the bathroom. It was the darker end of the house, for two reasons. Firstly, it's the longest stretch in the house without windows. Secondly, Holly's bedroom sat at the end of it. I could hear the sobs echoing from her room. They'd been the soundtrack for the past month and no matter how bell like her voice could sound there was nothing more gut wrenching than hearing her cry. Not because she was my sister, and not because other peoples tears always started my own. It was because it was my fault, the reason why she was away from Edward and in this amount of pain. If I hadn't pursued Jacob, if I hadn't overreacted then that thing – that monster- would never have taken me. I would never have needed saving, and the portal would still be intact._

_She would still be happy._

Ashleigh's memory faded from my mind, and I cleared my focus to see her looking at me. Her jaw was tensed the way it always did when she felt upset. Her eyes were shimmering with a watery blue that always made your heart melt with sympathy and nurturing love.

I walked slowly towards her and watched as her lip started to tremor with the effort to keep her crying silent. Once I reached her my arms wrapped her up in the hug that we both needed. I needed the warmth and optimism she radiated, and she needed something to show that everything would be alright.

"Ash, it wasn't your fault. It just happened," I said softly as my sister started to shake.

"B-but...if I hadn't..." She sniffled and I smiled as she snorted a little.

"No buts. He should never have gotten that close to you, Ash. Never. And I shouldn't have driven you to the point of running. You have no idea how badly I felt afterwards. I shouldn't have tried to control everything. But you know how I get."

"Bossy big sister." I chuckled and nodded against her skin.

"I was accusing you of playing games with people but I was the one trying to orchestrate something that should just be left to happen naturally. If at all." I pulled back and held her shoulders in my hands. "I don't blame you, Ash. And I never will."

"Yeah well, if you did blame me. I came bearing gifts." She stepped away from me and held up the bag. Her face was streaked with tears but other than that the smile was as bright as ever.

I cocked an eyebrow and her grin grew as she rummaged through the bag.

"OK, so not all the films are out. You know: the Saga films. Just up to Eclipse. Anyway I figured we may as well give this a shot." She tipped the bag and out spilled three posters. Each the same size, and each bearing Edward's face.

"We have Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse. Now I know yours was a Twilight one so I figured we could try that one first." She held up the poster and I smiled at Edward's pouting face glaring back at me.

If I ever saw him again, I would have to get him to re-enact that pose. My heart stuttered at that idea. Ashleigh had only just bought posters and I was already thinking as if everything was fixed and rosy again.

"So do you think we should just stick it up over the old one?" I questioned as I gazed at the ruined poster. Was it special or would any Edward poster work as the portal? Was it more that I was special, or chosen in some crazy way?

If that was the case then why? I wasn't as dedicated a fan as some of the others that dominated the globe. I didn't wear Edward t shirt or dream of being a vampire. I was just ordinary, or at least I had been.

As I thought about Edward's reaction to my scent and Bella Swan's I wondered if, by some weird and wonderful way, I was his singer. Not the blood thirsty kind, but the kind that just fit him. He had already told me how my scent brought out a different kind of lust in him, so I wondered if that meant – if he had existed in my world – I would have been his singer.

These thoughts raced through my mind as Ash and I pinned the poster in place. I didn't know what I expected to happen, sparks, shooting stars, or beams of light. Either way nothing changed. It didn't melt away. Its eyes didn't glow. It was just a poster – nothing more, nothing less.

Ashleigh cast a sympathetic glance at me, wary of my reaction. The thing was that I didn't react. I just looked at it and removed it shortly after. I had built my hopes up so many times over these past few months that I couldn't let myself get let down again.

As we started to pin the New Moon poster where the Twilight one had been I turned to Ash.

"So, if this works. If somehow the portal opens again. Is a relationship with Jacob something you want?"

Ashleigh's hands faltered before she sighed and let me finish sticking the corners.

"I don't know. I mean, after everything Mum and Dad went through with you, and after living in that world...I'm not sure I could do it. Plus he was always casting eyes at Bella, and I'm nobody's second choice." Ashleigh huffed, flicking her blonde hair with overly dramatic motions.

"You know. I heard Seth Clearwater had a thing for you." I smirked as her cheeks stained pink.

"Really?" I nodded. For the first time in a long time I felt a little bit of happiness. I knew talking about the people who lived in the portal world, and possible futures with them, was dangerous to the heart but somehow it eased the grief. It was like by talking about them they stayed real and the idea that it was all just a dream or a brief stint of insanity goes away.

"He was cute." Ashleigh said wistfully. "This thing had better work because I'd much rather have Seth Clearwater than Alex King. The guy makes Casper look tanned. And don't even get me started on his boxers. Maroon, Holly, and they're hiked up somewhere round his belly button." She spoke with exasperation and I grinned for a moment because I was transported back to when Ash would gossip and giggle about the guys she knew while I sat in awe of how comfortable she was flirting. Back when life was simple.

Like with the Twilight poster, we waited to see if there would be any chance, and like the Twilight poster there was none.

We tried the Eclipse poster but it was the same result. In the end we just pinned each poster up along the wall so it was filled with the whole saga that had been filmed. First came the broken portal then the succession of the other three posters. If anyone was to walk in they would think me an obsessive. Even I thought my mind was going mad because surely seeing Edward's face in all various expressions staring out at me would be a bad thing. Yet I just felt comforted. It was like that feeling you get when you look at the Mona Lisa. Her eyes seemed to follow you around the room. Only this time it didn't feel weird, it just felt soothing.

"You better get to bed, Ash," I said when it hit midnight. I could survive without sleep but she couldn't.

"Are you going to sleep tonight?" She asked, a slightly disparaging tone in her voice.

"I don't need it."

"Holls, I know you're a vampire hybrid thing, but seriously, you're looking messed up. Like a human with a really bad hangover who has just crawled out a gutter."

Ouch, that hurt.

"I know this might seem a foreign concept to you, Ashleigh, but I really don't care what I look like." I uttered with a bitter note in my voice. It just crept in, even though I held nothing against my sister. Perhaps it was that she highlighted the fact I wasn't what I once was.

"Look, I know you were never a fashion follower or anything but at least you used to like looking nice – for you."

I sighed in resignation. Perhaps I had let myself waste away too far. "I promise to sleep tonight, for at least a couple of hours."

"And you'll eat and shower before you sleep?" Ash almost ordered as she paused at my door.

"Fine," I grumbled as I headed to fulfil her orders. Some toast or an apple would suffice food wise and a shower might be nice. Then again I wasn't sure. The dirt that coated my clothes was the only reminder of that day and the last time I saw Edward.

"Holly. I know it's hard to let go but trust me. You'll feel better if you just try and get back to some kind of normality," Ash said when she saw me pause. I nodded and in a blur of movement I had already carried out the first of her requests: eat something, check.

The apple sat oddly in my stomach. When did I last eat? I could feel my stomach clenching around the foreign substance. I had been so empty that it felt wrong to be filled.

_What did I do to myself?_ I thought with a tear. Even now, only seconds after finishing the apple, I could feel its life seeping into me. I could feel my dead veins starting to sing. I knew I had felt dead and cold but I hadn't realised just how dead I had become. It was as if someone had slit my veins and punctured my arteries and let the life just drain out of me.

But it fit didn't it because heartache was like a hole being punched through your chest and watching as everything you were disappeared out through that hole. Losing yourself was the first wave, watching yourself wasting away and letting it happen was the second. It was a different type of grief because you knew that you were destroying yourself but you just don't care. You grieve for the belief in yourself, the drive to live, and the hope and optimism you always used to have.

Right now I'd passed those two stages by and now I was hit by the third. The realisation of what you have let drift away. Now was the hardest part because I had to decide. Do I continue as I am? Or do I try and pick up the pieces and find what I was once before?

The very idea of it was scary, like staring off into a deep abyss and trying to decide whether or not to stay where you are or walk into the darkness.

My hands dragged through my hair, clutching at my skull. Why did this have to hurt so badly? Why does it have to be so hard? Why couldn't I just see him again?

With a huffed I stood quickly from the chair I had been sitting in, the wooden groaned against the floor as it complained about the sudden movement.

_You can't stay like this. _My subconscious whispered, and I whimpered because it was right. I couldn't stay this way but I was too scared to change, to let go, to move forward from this place called here.

I sped up the stairs and stood diligently in front of the ruined portal.

_It's deadwood, deadweight. _The recessed of my mind hissed and I shook my head to rid the traitor from the pits of my mind. I couldn't do it. I couldn't let him go. Never.

_It's either you destroy the portal or you destroy yourself, your family, the only things you have left. _The voice reasoned spitefully. My hand inched to the top corner of the portal, touching the withered paper there.

_It's the only way forward._

I sniffed and steeled myself for the sin I was about to commit against my heart.

The paper ripped too easily, like tissue paper. It felt like nothing beneath my tormented hands and yet it meant so much.

The tears flowed endlessly as my body finished what my rash actions had started until the poster lay like ash at my feet.

The funeral prayer from The Book of Common Prayer drifted through my mind, an eerie silence surrounding it.

_Earth to Earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the resurrection into eternal life._

Could this act of destruction really lead to a fresh start? A broken heart can all but hope.


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: A little deja vu anyone?**

**x**

I didn't know what the time was when I woke up, but I did know I wouldn't be able to drift off again. My body was refreshed even with only two hours of sleep after a seemingly eternal phase of insomnia. My eyes searched the darkness, scanning with the acute vision I'd acquired through the change. Just as my eyes finished cataloguing the details of my room, I felt a slight breeze brush against my face. I looked towards the window but it was closed. Of course, now I wasn't going to get any sleep. My body didn't need it. I tried to close my eyes but my mind was brought back by the sense of déjà vu surrounding me.

_At least I could tell Ashleigh I tried to sleep._

I groaned and turned to my side to turn on the lamp. As warm light flooded my room, I huffed off my covers and moved over to the keyboard that stood in the corner of my room. It had been abandoned for too long. I plugged in the headphones and picked a sound that pleased me. My fingers hit the piano choice without thought, but I swiftly changed it to something that didn't hold so many memories. Violin was safe, but harp was more soothing.

I laid my fingers on the keys and started to play out a rough version of 'Il Giorni'. It wasn't a particularly hard song to play, but I loved the simplicity of it. I could empathise with the emotions it described. They created a longing story in my mind of wanting the impossible, a love unrequited or a family lost.

As I came to the end of the song, I felt another breeze cause the hairs on the back of neck stand on end. Again I looked towards the door but found nothing. I turned the keyboard off so I could concentrate. Something caught my attention out the corner of my eye, and I turned to focus on it.

Out of the three Edward poster's on my wall, the New Moon one seemed different. The position was the same, but his eyes didn't seem flat. The gold seemed to be more than just ink on paper. I blinked and stood to look closer. Hope rising from the pit of my stomach.

I ran my fingers over the area that seemed different. There was a warmth there, a humming that tingled my fingertips.

_Please don't let this be a dream or hallucination. Please let this be real._

"Edward," I murmured as I stroked over the vibrating surface.

As if it were the first time, I felt my stomach do flip flops as the portal melted away in front of me.

It wasn't a weird sensation passing through the film that separated our worlds. Not how it had seemed the first time I had done it when I was human. It still felt like stepping through a very thin waterfall, a cool sensation passing over my skin like being naked in a breeze. But this time it felt like coming home, coming back to where I belonged.

I took a deep breath before opening my eyes. I expected to smell life, the scents of my vampire family. But there was nothing but faint traces of the beings that had once filled the walls.

I stepped out of the portal and opened my eyes as my bare feet made contact with the polished wooden floor. It was dark, but I could see the Cullen hallway. It was exactly the same and yet so different. The furniture was covered with dust sheets making it look like a ghost house. In a way it was because all the scents that lingered here were like drifting souls, imprints of their owners.

I could smell Emmett's scent of warm apples and cinnamon and how it concentrated in the lounge and the garage. Wherever it went there was it's partner, Rosalie's soothing and seductive floral fragrance: honeysuckle and pears. They mingled together and blended in harmony.

As I passed the kitchen I smelt Esme's beautiful combination of orange blossom and lavender. It filled me with memories of her motherly warmth, but it had faded like the others and run cold. The oven didn't fill with intoxicating smells. Instead it lay baron and as cold as the stainless steel it was made of.

My heart sank when I turned my senses to the piano room. It was dead. No glorious scent roll from it. Edward hadn't played, not in a very long time.

I passed up the stairs, and as I came to the top I smiled at the fresh sea breeze scent of intelligence and calm coming from Carlisle's study. Peppermint tingled and mingled like a breath of fresh air racing on freshly brushed teeth. It fit Carlisle so well that I could almost see him sitting at his desk as I peeked my head into the room. When my mind cleared I saw there was nothing there, nothing but blank walls and empty bookshelves. The room looked lost, and without purpose now that the kind doctor didn't fill it.

Within Carlisle's study I found a trace of Jasper. His leather, vanilla, and oak fragrance seeping from the armchair. His smell was a laid back as he was, homely, and friendly like I imagined most Texans to be. He had been a rock to hold onto when I had first left Edward and I grimaced now as I wondered what he must have endured these past months. He didn't deserve it.

I followed the woodsy odour until it blended with hyacinth and raspberries. Alice. Just the smell of her brought a smile to my face. She was the ying to Jasper's yang but where her scent hit the high notes, Jasper's hummed in the low notes.

Out of the whole house I had only smelt Edward once and that was a thick concentrated pocket of it in front of the portal. I didn't want to think about what that meant.

I travelled along the hall towards his room and with each step I felt my chest tighten. I could smell him, but he wasn't here.

His door swung open on wonky hinges, and I gasped at the sight in front of me.

The furniture was destroyed. The couch was the only thing that was left intact amongst the wreckage. The walls held marks of fists and nails, and the carpet was pulled up in areas making it slack and curled. His journals were strewn across the floor and amongst them every item I had ever owned. My drawings sat pristine but excessively thumbed. My clothes were scattered over the couch, laid out in odd formations like limp bodies bent and distorted. I could see where they had been grasped with desperate hands. The window which we used to look out of was smashed and splintering, letting a cool wind circle through the room. It whistled over the sharp edged of the glass and made the pages and paper scratch against each other as they shifted.

As the breeze blew through the house it brought with it a scent that was bolder than the others.

I spun and peered down the hallway.

I watched as a figure appeared at the top of the stairs. My heart pounded as I gripped the door handle.

"Holly?" Her bell-like voice rang loud and clear.

"Alice?" I gasped and in a flash-like movement we were tight in each other's arms.

"We thought we'd never see you again," she breathed in my ear.

"You and me both, Alice. Where is everyone?"

"Gone," she said with a sniff. "Rose and Em left two years after the portal broke. Jasper and I tried to stay, for Esme's sake, but it was killing him. We're with the Denali's at the moment and have been for about eighteen months. Carlisle and Esme are visiting with us right now, but they stayed with Edward and we all check on him. This is the first time he's been left. He said he would be fine." Her voice turned from desolate to angry and frustrated. All the while I felt my mind whirl with confusion.

"How long has it been, Alice?"

"Five years? Why?"

"Five years!" I gasped and I felt my heart break for Edward all over again. Five months had been a nightmare for me, but five years! How did he cope?

"Our time frames match now. We are exactly the same. 21st November 2010. It's been five years for you but only five months for me."

I glanced at Alice and saw the worry below her surface, she was shifting too much.

"You said he said he would be fine. Why are you here if that were the case? And where is he? Where's Edward?" My words became more frantic as I spread out my sense to search the house for a clue of his whereabouts.

I was sucked into Alice's memory in a instant. I could tell it was a vision, a memory of a future prediction. It showed in the way the edges shimmered just a little.

_I could see Edward's face and it had never looked so bleak. He was just a shell. That glimmer of hope that had been present the past five years was gone. In a flurry of movement the dynamic changed and I could see him standing amongst the meadow. He was shirtless and the moonlight was making his skin shimmer. He was drenched in gasoline and a lit match flickered in his fingers._

"_It's over," he whispered before the flame licked up his skin. He doesn't scream but soon his body is smothered in flames. He was just violent raging fire. This was to be his end._

"No!" I screamed and looked frantically out at the forest.

"He wouldn't go to the Volturi. He wouldn't want to implicate the portal," Alice explained as we sped down the stairs.

"You said he had been fine. That he was well enough to be left, to be trusted," I said with exasperation, what could have possibly changed?

"Something must have happened for that to change. Whatever it was, it caused him to make the decision to do this." We were running through the forest, but it felt like my legs couldn't move fast enough. Why couldn't this be easy? Why couldn't I have returned to a world that, although may not have been all sunshine and rainbows, was at least stable? Why couldn't everyone have been there? Why did I have to return to this turmoil?

I knew I wasn't truly angry at Edward and his rash actions, but I just didn't understand why he chose now to give up. What had possibly happened for him to think death was the better option?

"He's not been himself, Holly. He's lost and has been since that day," Alice said and I felt myself get sucked back into her memory.

_I burst through the door with Jasper at my side and the sight was pure destruction. Edward was standing over Torran's mangled body, his posture still poised to fight. His black, hateful eyes flashed to us and there was a moment when it seemed he'd attack. Jasper calmed him and reason seemed to return to his mind._

_I glanced at the portal but it's nothing like it once had been. The glass of the mirror was shattered, although it still stayed fixed to the frame. There were claw marks on the wooden frame and one of the legs was snapped. It made the mirror out of balance, unhinged._

"_Where's, Holly? Ashleigh?" We had all been worried for them. I'd had a vision of Holly running with Ashleigh but that was all. I needed to know if my sister was safe and my friend was out of harms way._

"_She's in their world. He tried to follow," Edward growled. By this time the rest of the family had returned._

"_Go to her, son, we'll clean up," Esme said and Edward made to go through the portal._

_Nothing changed, and I watched as confusion and horror clouded his eyes. Jasper tensed beside me. I could feel the turmoil rolling off him and it made my chest feel heavy with loss._

"_It's broken. She's gone," Edward breathed as his body rushed through emotions. His only outlet was destruction._

_The living room did not survive his misery. The glass window panes there were no match against his agonising scream. The sound that cracked and distorted his voice until it became silent. We ran to him, but his face was like that of The Scream. His eyes holding the chilling image of a burning man as his hands dragged on his skin._

The memory faded but the racing forest did stay in front of me for long before another followed suit.

_I stood behind Edward, watching him from the stairs. He hadn't moved in weeks, months, and I could see his broken, empty face in the shattered mirror. His hair was lank, and his eyes had never seemed so dark. He needed to hunt, but the human blood from the donor bank sat untouched beside him. It tempted even me, and I had hunted just the day before with Jasper - a way for him to espcape the feelings of the house, the emotions that were slowly suffocating him._

_I glanced at Edward, tearing my eyes from the blood._

_His lips were moving, so fast and silent, but I could hear the words. "It's broken, she's gone."_

My mind whirled once again.

"_We can't take this anymore, Edward. You haven't hunted in months. You never leave your room, you're never around any of us. We all miss Holly. She was like a sister to me, and a daughter to Carlisle and Esme. She wouldn't want you doing this to yourself." Rosalie and Emmett had already left, and Jasper and me were close to follow. The house held no life anymore. Edward just sat in his room or in front of the mirror, locked with memories of Holly. He hadn't been back to school, which was probably for the best. He wasn't stable anymore._

"_She's gone. Gone, Alice! This is all I have left of her!" His snarls turned to desperate sobs as he clutched a blue top in his hand. His room was a filled with memories of Holly. To him, nothing else mattered. Not even family._

"_I know, Edward. But she'll come back. This won't be eternal. We just need to hope." I tried to reassure him, but his desolate eyes held nothing but agony and despair. If that was the result of losing a mate, I prayed I would never suffer it._

As I returned from Alice's mind I stopped instantly, smelling him, his scent lingering through my nostrils that caused my eyes to roll back in my head. He was west.

"Hurry. I'll tell the others," Alice said before taking off through the forest back to the house. I turned around quickly, heading in the direction of the scent as it continued to get stronger and deeper and filled me to my very core. The scent was so strong, I almost wanted to stop. The last time I had smelled this scent, I was ignoring it because I was too deep in worry for my sister. But now, I could fully take in his scent and appreciate every second of it. However, it was tainted, sitting heavy among the scent was the caustic odour of gasoline. It sent shivers of horror down my spine as the sky began to sprinkle with rain.

My eyes narrowed at the opening of the meadow that was only a few feet from me. I sprinted towards it, making out Edward's standing body. He stood with his back to me – shirtless. His muscles rippled and his skin sparkled slightly from the moonlight. I gulped softly as he just stood there staring down to the ground. He was beautiful. The black shirt on the ground and the gray pants he was currently wearing was exactly what I saw him in last time. His pants were stained with mud and ripped slightly at the bottom.

His bronze hair blew over to the side all wind-blown and perfect. I looked at his surroundings, the flowers dormant in the grass, the trees hiding their leaves from the bitter winter cold. And for a moment I felt like this really was just a dream. Any moment I'd wake up in my room and I would have to muster the strength to live another day. I drank in the scenery surrounding me until I heard Edward turn around, my eyes looking back to see that he was now staring at me. He was still, motionless, with dark purple rings under his black eyes to give away the hint that he wasn't himself anymore. I wasn't myself anymore, but I knew I could find what was missing. I could find it in Edward embrace, his eyes, his lips, his strength, and his smile. I could be what I once was. So as I saw him soaked to dripping in gasoline it was as if I was risking losing not only him but myself.

I began walking towards the meadow, my stomach churning because I knew all it would take was for Edward to light a match and let it fly and then it all would be over. When the sick feeling continued, I stopped to stare at Edward who looked at me confusingly. His lips opened slightly, his eyes dark as onyx and his skin paler than usual, "Holly?" he whispered in question, and I felt my face explode with a smile while I slowly nodded my head, taking another step forward.

"It's me," I answered, standing still as I watched him move forward. He was only a few feet away now. I gulped, looking up to him as I bit down onto my bottom lip. I had only been apart from him for five months but he stunned me. My faultless memory did him no justice.

Edward stared down at me, an eyebrow raised as he shook his head, "You're back," he said flatly and I nodded my head. I wanted to reach for him but something in his stance and his eyes told me to wait.

Then like a rolling wave a was plunged into the depths of his mind and it felt like drowning.

_I could see her face smiling back at me through the webs of broken glass. She's right there and it's torture that I cannot touch her. But as long as I could see her face I'd have hope. She was everything so as long as she existed I had all I'd ever need._

_I didn't know the time but it was dark and it crept into the mirror. I watched as she waved and let it hide her from me. I was ruled once again by the pain of losing her._

_The house was silent so it attracted my ear, the faint sound of chipping – cracking. I watched in horror as the mirror gained cracks that were never there before. My hands scrabbled to keep the splinters in place, to keep them as whole as possible._

_I couldn't lose her, not the vision of her, not the hope of her. I couldn't do it._

_The mirror continued to crack and I could feel myself panicking._

_Then the first splinter fell and that was the start of it all._

_The mirror fell apart, the millions of reflective pieces scattering to the floor to leave nothing but a wooden board to stare at._

_It was all over and so the end seemed like the only thing left._

"Why did you leave?" he asked, "I didn't want you to leave," he grumbled like he was upset and disappointed with me. Now he was standing in front of me I could see the worry in his eyes. It ran deep, too deep to see the man I had left behind. How could I break him from this?

I decided not to take his question lightly, because he had to know how much he still meant to me. How much he had always been a part of me. "Edward… I'm so sorry. I had to save Ashleigh," I whispered and he let out a loud chuckle, like he found it funny. My eyebrows rose with confusion.

"Of course you did. And you were gone but you came back. You sat in the mirror looking at me, but then...then you left. Don't you remember?" He chuckled, his eyes blinking as he shook his head, "You left me because I wasn't fast enough, strong enough." He looked down to me, his smile fading as he saw my frown.

"Never, Edward. Torran broke the portal, but I'm here now. I'm not leaving. I promise," I said slowly trying to help him understand. But Edward just laughed, and that laugh slowly turned into a soft cry as his face turned down.

"Don't say that to me. You always say that to me. And then I touch you and you disappear." He bit back a cry as he turned around and walked back into the middle of the meadow, "You can leave now. It's hurts too much to have you near. So near and yet so far."

"I'm not leaving," I said, following him. I was with him stride for stride all the way to the middle until he quickly turned around to snarl at me, causing me to flinch back. He never snarled at me. I felt my heart heave down as I let out a soft whimper. I knew it was a good thing that he reacted, somehow, but I didn't know it would hurt this much to have him growl at me like that.

"Leave. Now, _please_. I can't _take_ it anymore," he said in misery, turning around and lighting the match.

He thought I was taunting him, like a demon taking my form to flaunt his loss in his face. But I had to make him realize, I had to make him see that I was here. I reached forward, grabbing his wrist, holding it tightly so he wouldn't pull away. I brought him to me, and he seemed shocked by my speed as I set his hand on my cheek and blew out the match. "You're going nowhere without me."

His face looked angry at first, but then slowly smouldered into confusion and then finally relief. His eyes brightened, his frown turned into a smile. It was tired and weathered but to me it was like pure sunshine lighting my face, "You're really here…" he whispered and I nodded as I leaned forward to set my hand to his shoulder.

"Edward. I love you; where else would I rather be than right here with you. For eternity." I leant up and place a light kiss on his stunned lips, brushing the surface. I could almost feel the sparks fly off our skin where it touched. Five months I had lived without this, that very idea seemed impossible.

Edward moaned as my hands travelled up the sides of his neck, running across his scalp and thick into his hair. Meanwhile Edward's hands ran the course of my waist, the curves of my hips and the swell of my ass. He traced every curvature, and I shivered as my body responded to the memory of his touch. Neither of us deepened the kiss, we just basked in how it felt to be together. To smell how our scents mix. To feel how our bodies moulded to each others. We fit together, we were meant to last, and no barrier such as alternate universes or broken portals would ever keep us apart again.

A/N: THIS IS NOT THE END. :D

xx


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: OK, this has an M rated warning so beware. It'll be marked - (X), although hopefully it's not too extreme. There's an epilogue after this so stay tuned.**

Even with my eyes closed I could see the room in my mind and the people that filled it. Their scents culminated to form an intricate symphony of scents. Each bold and distinct yet harmonising.

I hummed as I breathed deeply and smelled Edward scent concentrated around me.

"Have I told you how exquisite you look tonight?" Edward breathed in my ear as his hand shifted from my waist, down to my hip.

I opened my eyes and smiled brightly as slid my hand from his to link them around his neck. "This is the fifth time, but it never gets old." He chuckled and placed a light kiss on my lips.

I moaned and pressed myself further against him, my back bowing as his hand pressed at the small of my spine.

"Hey! Save that for later. The countdown's starting." Emmett called to us and I turned to see my families standing around the TV, champagne glasses in the hands of the humans.

Edward kissed my temple and led me over to watch the countdown. We stood next to Ashleigh and Seth, and I wondered briefly if she'd let him kiss her at midnight. It seemed like the five years that had passed in the twilight world had done nothing to dim the spark Seth felt for my sister, although Ashleigh didn't seem as willing to get involved.

There wasn't the barrier of the portal for them now, the wolves knew all about it. Apparently it was a tender point between the wolves and the Cullens for quite some time after they found out the truth. They didn't like that the Cullens had kept it from them, given the treaty and everything.

Still as Ash cast Seth a shy glance over her glass, I wondered if she liked him more than she had let on. It had only been a couple of months since the portal re-opened, and once it had life had gotten almost back to normal. Or at least as normal as things could ever be here.

The wolves had been notified the moment Alice told the rest of the family, and Seth had been waiting at the house when Edward and I finally returned. From the moment he saw Ashleigh walk through the portal, searching for me, his face lit up and that smile had never faded since.

Sure they were young, and sure there was no saying if it was anything permanent, but it was there. That little spark, that little twinkle in their eyes. Edward and I had managed to work around the portal, so maybe they could as well.

I smiled as I felt Edward's arm wrap around my waist and clutch my left hand in his. His fingers traced the ring that sat on my third finger, a beautiful tanzanite gem surrounded by white diamonds, all set on a platinum band. It was breathtaking, and it was mine. For all eternity, just as Edward would be just a month from now. 2nd February 2010.

"I can hardly wait for the day when I can call you my wife." Edward hummed as his lightly ran his hand up the length of my waist, catching the side of my breast with each circuit.

"Mr and Mrs Cullen." Edward moaned lightly as I murmured in his ear, my hand creeping onto his chest.

"Mrs, Holly Cullen." I purred and his face took on a sexy grin.

"Say it again." Edward growled playfully as he pulled me towards him.

"Mrs Holly Cullen," I whispered against his lips and Edward groaned causing me to giggle.

I glanced at Mum and caught her smiling back at me, her eyes glistening as she cast a brief look at the ring on my finger. She hadn't lost that proud, emotional smile ever since our engagement party two weeks ago.

The only reason Edward didn't ask me to marry him earlier after our reunion was that we were, for lack of a better phrase, reacquainting ourselves with each other for quite some time. As Edward said, we had five years to make up for, at least we did in his world and I certainly wasn't going to complain.

I shivered as I remembered the pleasure he'd coaxed from me with his talented fingers, over and over until I saw stars and the world went numb. He ran those very fingers along my waist and down my spine, brushing his hand over my rear, skimming the mulberry coloured satin of my dress.

His face nuzzled my neck and his lips placed soft kisses there as he whispered in my ear. "I wish I could have you alone. You have no idea what that dress is doing to me." I giggled which changed to a sigh as his tongue traced the shell of my ear.

"It's New Years Eve, Edward. You just have to wait until midnight and then we can slip away somewhere private," I murmured as I brushed my lips against his, bringing my eyes up to stare into his darkened gaze.

Someone turned the TV up and I heard the countdown start, snapping my gaze back to the TV. All of a sudden my mind was all the way back to last year and Shevron's house party. The moment when Edward's hands cupped my face and his sweet breath fanned over my face, all the while my mind frantically chanting Bella's name to try and keep some composure.

This time around it was going to be so different. For starters I was Edward's fiancée and there was definitely no Bella in the picture. In fact I had learnt that Jake had imprinted on her a couple of years ago when she got back from college. Then there was the fact that my whole family was here, not a room full of drunken teenagers. I also had the love of my existences'' ring on my finger and his body in my arms.

Edward and I chanted the countdown with everyone else, although our eyes never left each others. As each number passed us by our lips came closer and closer until finally, as the fireworks exploded and cheers filled the room, our lips met in a deep, passionate kiss that made the whole world disappear.

"Happy New Year, my love," Edward breathed as we rested our foreheads against each other.

I opened my eyes and placed a light kiss on his nose. "Happy New Year."

No sooner had I said than we were separated to celebrate with the rest of the family. We shared brief kisses around the whole crowd as glasses chinked and smiles filled our faces.

Dad pulled me into his arms and kissed my hair. "Do you think I need to douse them with cold water yet?" He covertly pointed to Ashleigh and Seth who were still wrapped in each other's arms and giving each other googoo eyes.

I chuckled and looked up to see him grinning.

Only the water wasn't needed. "Down boy!" Emmett said to Seth as he pretended to bat him away from Ashleigh. I had never really seen my sister blush before, but she looked so innocent with a rosy glow on her cheeks.

I chuckled with my parents and the others as we watched Emmett wrestle Seth into a headlock. Out of all the wolves Seth was the most comfortable with us. I wasn't sure if it was because the Cullens were linked to Ashleigh, or because he just felt no real animosity towards them. Either way he never showed any sign of being uncomfortable. I guessed that was shown in Breaking Dawn as well, so in a way it was probably to be expected.

I smiled as I saw Alice and Ashleigh giggling over Seth while Rosalie rolled her eyes at Emmett's behaviour, a glimmer of enjoyment in her eyes.

I caught Jasper's gaze over the group as he stood smiling quietly at Alice. It was nice to see him happy again. After Edward and I returned and saw the rest of the family, it was hard to imagine that Jasper would ever really smile again. It seemed like the emotions he had suffered during my absence had ran too deep.

I made my way over to him, stopping to offer odd pieces of conversation and hugs to members of the family. We were all here together, each of us a part of the future family that would be formed when Edward and I marry in early February. Of course Seth was the exception, although I had a feeling he and my sister wouldn't be apart for very much longer.

"Hey, Jazzles, quite some party, isn't it?" I touched Jasper's shoulder as we stood beside each other, looking out at our family members.

"I don't think I ever imagined I'd be here after everything, at a New Year party, with all these people, all these humans. It's nice, the sense of family." Jasper cast a glance at me as I nodded.

"Look, Jazz, I just wanted to say..."

"You don't have to, Holly. Really I don't deserve it. I didn't try hard enough." His head drooped as he sighed, passing a look at Edward and wincing ever so slightly, no doubt at a past memory of the five years that passed.

"No, Jazz. You did so much more than you think. I don't know how you coped. I mean, I put my family through hell and that was just after five months. You stuck with him for three and a half _years_. I can't imagine what that must have been like for you, and I just want to say thank you." I looked up from fiddling with my fingers; I was never very good at this emotional stuff. "Thank you for saving the man I love from himself, you know, thank you for helping to make sure I had someone to come back to." I smiled weakly before inching forward and awkwardly wrapping my arms around him. Or at least it was awkward at first, then it became just natural. Maybe my initial discomfort wasn't because Jasper was usually quite reserved but more because of my own innate discomfort with open affection. Either way, once I jumped that hurdle, it was fine. Jasper gave me a grateful pat on the back before we separated, and as I looked at him I saw the gratitude in his eyes.

I didn't know why I hadn't said thank you before this moment, but I knew it had to be said and now that I saw his face I was even more glad I had.

"You're welcome, Darlin'. Now what do you say I distract Alice from cornerin' you and your mother for wedding plans, and give you and Edward a chance to slip away. Because, I don't think I can restrain him anymore." Jasper winked as I bit my lip to hide my smile.

I watched as Jasper slipped away to talk to Alice and I took a moment to really look at the scene in front of me.

Esme and Carlisle were talking with my parents, just general conversation about work, future plans, mine and Edward's wedding, and the proposed idea for sleeping arrangements.

Next I glanced at Rosalie and Emmett who were exchanging banter with Ashleigh and Seth, the usual sexual innuendos being tossed around. I cringed when I heard the words 'doggy style' come up. I knew Seth was about nineteen now, but my sister was only fifteen so anything sex related was (at least in my mind) nonexistent for another year.

Finally I felt Edward's arms wrapped around my waist as his head rested on my head, placing a kiss into my hair.

"It's past midnight," he said lowly, and I could hear the smirk in his voice.

"So it is." I grinned as his hands spread across my stomach, pressing me against him just a little harder.

"Take a walk with me?" he asked as he drew my arm up to make me pirouette in front of him. I smiled in assent and followed him as he led us out into the frosty night's air. I took a final glance at my family over my shoulder. They didn't see us leave, although I was sure the vampires noticed. They knew not to distract us, not to interrupt the electricity flowing between mine and Edward's joined hands.

I breathed in deeply the chilling air, feeling it heat up in my lungs before I exhaled the misty cloud. It swirled in front of me, interrupting the dark canvas of the night-time forest.

With each step, the voices of the party behind us faded. With each step we became bathed in a magical silence. Just the faint noises of life, and whistling of the wind occupying our ears.

We walked in silence, weaving in and out of the trees until our bodies were bathed in a pool of moonlight. The meadow. It allowed a small pocket of silver light to burst into the otherwise pitch black of the surrounding trees. The grass moved like silver ribbons, swaying in the light breeze, revealing delicate silvered flowers or muted pastel shades.

I looked up at the moon, letting the pale light cast my face in silver. It wasn't until Edward's fingers traced my jaw that I looked back him and all his beauty. His skin glimmered in the moonlight, while his eyes almost glowed—the gold seeming almost silvery due to the reflections of the moon.

In that moment the only thing that mattered was this amazing man before me and the feelings we shared. My mind couldn't conjure up a single memory of that painful five months without him. I couldn't even feel a flutter of excitement for the wedding in our future. All that occupied me was the present. The now.

"Heylo," he said with a loving smile as his hand went to bring my own to his lips.

"Heylo," I replied as he placed a kiss on each knuckle before kissing the glittering ring on my finger.

I watched mesmerised as his lips placed soft kisses on my skin. My wrist, the crook of my elbow, my shoulder, my collar bone. Their journey was sweet and sensuous as they heightened my senses with every touch.

"I love you," he whispered in my ear as he moved back my hair and kissed the sweet point just below my lobe.

"I adore you." he murmured against my skin as he kissed my collar bone, slowly making his way down.

His hands skimmed the sensitive skin on my chest before they settled on my hips.

"And I want you, more than anything." He all but growled as his hands went round to my ass, pulling me flush against him, his lips brushing against mine. The sweetest torment.

"Edward, I'm all yours. You know that." I smiled against his lips before taking his bottom one between my own.

"When I lost you, Holly. When I had to live without you, for all those years." I cringed as he whispered his words; his forehead leant against my own.

"I couldn't help but regret..." he moved his hands from my hips to hold my own as he exhaled deeply.

"What, Edward?" I questioned as I searched his eyes.

"I regretted that I'd never just gave in."

"Gave in?" I queried and his eyes set on mine, their irises darkening as every moment passed.

One moment we were inches apart, our breathing passing between us, and the next our mouths moved in tandem and our bodies were too close for the clothes between us.

"Edward?" I gasped as I tried to catch my breath. His lips never left my skin, they traced every contour of my neck, licked every hollow there. There was no control there anymore, I could feel it in the way his hands raced over my skin. He wasn't holding back from me, he wasn't thinking of when he would have to stop. Did he plan on stopping, or was this _it_?

"Please, Holly," he groaned in my ear as he moved me back against a pine, his hips grinding against my own to create a delicious sensation.

"I thought...the wedding," I panted as he hitched my leg around his hip and dragged his fingers along my thigh.

"This is what I want, Holly. I've lived without you, I lived longing to go back and do what I wanted, what I denied myself because my morals told me to. No more. I just want to be with you." As he spoke I was torn between his words and the creeping motion his fingers made towards the apex between my thighs. I gasped as his finger drew a deliberate line up the black lace of my underwear.

Edward shuddered, shutting his eyes before they reopened to revealed pools of pure black. His eyes searched mine, asking for permission.

Did I want this? I knew I had. It had been all that filled my mind at times, something I dreamed about once upon a time. But now? He wanted me; he wanted this. I had been longing for this moment. Could I take advantage of this situation, of his moment of abandon? Bella hadn't. In this very meadow, at the end of Eclipse when he was willing to just drop everything and give her what she wanted, Bella had refused because she knew he would prefer it to be after marriage. But I wasn't Bella. I'd never been Bella and Edward wasn't the same man as he was in the books. Our situation wasn't the same, not really. I was marrying him willingly. I wasn't human or bargaining for immortality. I hadn't begged him for this experience. In fact I hadn't mentioned it at all over these past few weeks, no matter how much I wanted it.

I guess that gave me my answer. I wanted this and if he did too, I could think of no reason to deny him.

**(X)**

Barely a millisecond had passed, the sensation of Edwards fingers tracing the lace patterns on my underwear was still tingling through my body.

I leant forward, wrapping my hands around his neck and pulled him towards me.

His finger dipped passed the fabric instantly, moving it from his path, searching for my innermost part. This was happening, really happening.

When skin met skin, he moaned, and moved us so his body pressed mine into the long swishing grass. The moonlight and the stars bathing their light upon us, our skin glimmering at the touch of their light. The scent of the winter flora was cool and fresh in the air around us, but that wasn't what caught my attention. It was the scent permeating from us, the scent of desire and wanting. It was deep and held a kind of warmth to it, although I found it almost indescribable.

I turned off logic, reason, and thought and gave the reins to my wanton body. My skin tingled everywhere his fingers had been and when he told me to undress... he was attentive and domineering and nothing like the boy he so resembled. Or the gentleman he acted like. His hands were rough and demanding, but I was more than willing to give what they asked of me. His obsidian eyes burned on me thoughtfully. Burned with all the love we shared and the truth that this moment was ours to treasure after all we'd been through.

With his left hand, he palmed my breast and roughly pinched the tip. I gasped and writhed beneath him. He slid his hand down my arm lightly, stopping to trace my collarbone with his index finger before he drew it down between my breasts. "You're perfect, you know," he sighed. He splayed his hands flat against my ribcage and brought his mouth to the spot behind my ear with some unreasonable tongue play that he then worked down my neck.

"I love you, Holly," he said, as he tilted my head back, nudging my jaw with his nose. He kissed the underside of my chin softly, drawing a slow wet path with his mouth down the centre of my body until he paused on my sternum.

"I love you too, Edward." I breathed as he dragged his tongue up the hill of my right breast and flicked it out at the nipple, tracing slow circles around the circumference before he pulled it roughly into his mouth and sucked. I was lost, so far gone that my conscience was hidden under layers upon layers of just ecstasy. It was just me and Edward, just us in the meadow. No one else existed, in fact no_thing_ else existed.

"I've waited forever for this night," Edward murmured in between placing his lavish kisses upon the skin of my stomach. I could feel his hands running up my legs, inching further and further up my thigh with every cycle. Those hands... so skilled at everything he had ever done, from manipulating the keys of the beautiful piano he played my melody on to the way they eventually slid deftly down my stomach. The way they froze the whole world in place so that the only things that existed were Edward and I and the mind numbing pleasure he coaxed from me with every stroke of his forefinger. I closed my eyes and turned off thought, allowing myself the luxury of simply feeling.

I sensed him again, his face mere inches away from the most private part of me. And then his mouth was there, and I couldn't fight off the heavy moans that bled from my lips. He lavished his skills and attention on me until my body began to shake while I begged him for more. I wanted him to push me over the edge more than I've ever wanted anything in my life. I felt like I was teetering on the precipice of something huge and a nudge in either direction would send me spiralling towards something incredible. I couldn't express what it felt like to have Edward on me, in me, like that, I was like nothing I'd ever known in my life and it was elysian, unadulterated bliss but I sensed there was, I don't know, _more_.

There was. Of course there was and it was like I couldn't get close enough to him. This burning feeling from low in my belly exploded out to my fingertips and toes, I could feel it thrumming through my soul, pleasure alive in me that vibrated from the inside out.

His lips covered mine, smothering my cry of pleasure as I grabbed low on his hips, wrapping my fingers into the V that was like a glowing neon arrow directing me to where the party was at. His open shirt lasted mere milliseconds, and his black trousers even less as they surrendered to the force of my hands ripping them away. I'd never done that, never even been in the mindset of wanting something so much that I couldn't have patience. But now was a different matter. I had no patience for buttons and zips, so the clothes were sacrificed. I rolled over on top of him, my soon-to-be husband with his black eyes watching me with anticipation and impatient need. His torso framed by my naked thighs and his chest lit with a gentle sheen from the moon above. He was no Adonis, no staute of David. He surpassed them all, and even better he was mine. This was the point of no return. Everything that had come before was intimate but nothing could top this.

I glanced down at Edward, locking my darkened eyes with his and seeing nothing but desire, passion, and love. Regret didn't feature, guilt didn't make an appearance. It was just me and him, lost for one marvellous moment of forever.

I tensed myself, I knew what was coming. My girls and I had talked about it more times than I wanted to remember. The pain, the blood, the extraordinary feeling once it was over. Yet with all the times we'd talked about it, I still felt unprepared and unsure of what was to come.

Edward's hand reached up and stroked my cheek. That was all the reassurance I needed. I didn't matter what came next, as long as I experienced this with him, had him with me, then that was all that mattered.

I lowered myself onto him, feeling an uncomfortable, tight sensation before I pushed on. The pain barely registered. It was there, burning at the pit of my stomach, but it was manageable.

I began to move and bit my lip as my skin started to sing a tune of wanton desire.

Edward's eyes rolled back in his head a little as we shared ourselves with each other, our pants and moans just another manifestation of the joy we couldn't hide.

"You have no idea how that feels," he said, hooking a hand behind each knee and pacing me.

I ran my hands through my hair and over my body, teasing the parts of me that begged to be touched. Edward's eyes glazed over as he watched me, his hands clutching at my skin as if he were trying to fill his senses with as much of me as as possible. His hands traced every part of my body, following in the wake of my own hands. Everything was so intense, like my senses were on fire. The burning it my belly was back and it was a delicious torture once I knew what was on the other side.

"Edward, please. I'm close."

With his hands on my ribcage, we switched positions once more. Hovering over me, he pressed his forehead to mine breathing heavily as he thrust into me.

"I love you. God, I love you," I whispered throatily to him as I pulled his lips back to mine.

"Holly, you're… I…"

I toppled over the threshold and instinct took over. I reached up and sunk my teeth into his bicep -hard- as my body exploded with something so mind-blowing, so extraordinary that for just a moment I felt numb to everything else in the world.

"You're mine," Edward growled above me as he raced to his own release.

"Yours, forever," I breathed as my body pounded with pleasure.

He let out something between a snarl and a moan. "Holly, I'm… I'm going to…" he looked at me, lust clouding his eyes. Then he did something totally unexpected; he bit my neck, not hard enough to break the skin, but enough to mark me. It was so erotic that I tipped over the edge once more, whispering his name as wave after wave washed over me. Feeling my muscles tighten around him was sufficient to trigger his release, and at that point I knew without doubt, we really were joined forever.

**A/N: So if you didn't read the (X) marked segment, let's just say Edward broke his own rule and the hundred-plus-year-old vampire virgin is no more. If you did read it, hopefully it wasn't too horrific, a little romantic, and not completely repulsive... Let me know. :)**

**Epilogue, and then we're at the end of the story of Holly and Edward, forever or maybe just for now.**

**Much love.**

**x**


	35. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: So this is the last chapter of this story. I'm sorry for the wait but there was so much to try and fit in. I want to say thank you to everyone who has ever read this story. Whether they read the first chapter of Shooting the Moon then left, or they stuck with me through the whole thing, right to this moment. The reviews have been amazing and the support and enthusiam you have shown for this story has been wonderful.**

**In a way it is the perfect time for this story to end because everything in my life will be changing within the next few days, so as I'm finishing this story I'm also finishing the way I lived as I wrote it. Then again, who's to say I won't wake up one night with the urge to pick up a pen and start a third sequel...**

**I hope you like the chapter, as always, and I hope you've enjoyed the story of Holly and Edward.**

**So for the last time: Happy reading x**

My giggles sounded through the forest, and I heard Edward's responding chuckle as he raced behind me. Our feet hadn't touched upon this ground in fifteen years but the scents and sounds around us brought back the memories of our first year together. The first year of my immortality, the year of our wedding, the year of our honeymoon, the first year of calm.

I grinned as the scent of La Push hit my nose: sea salt, fresh forests, and the faint pungent musk of the wolves. It was the smell of home, or at least the smell of family. I almost felt ashamed that I hadn't been back sooner, but Edward and I had needed some time to just be with each other. It was a personal choice, although it would be a lie to say that we weren't heavily persuaded by the rest of the family. Still our years were up and it was time to get back to how things were before. I could hardly wait. Of course we would still have to have our time away from the family every three months, just a few days when the Needing hit.

I bit my lip against the memory of the most Needing I went through. I sent the mental image to Edward and giggled at his answering lustful growl. That first year of my immortality was also the year we first discovered that my human side had brought another surprise to the table: The Needing. As I thought about that day I felt my mind travel back to it via Edward's memory. I was sure the discovery of my fertility and the effect it had on me was one of the things Edward considered a major perk of my hybrid nature. Of course he didn't have to deal with the female side of it, just the fun bit.

I let my mind slip through Edward's memory of the day as we ran towards the birthday party we were due to attend.

_I came back from my shopping trip, the little blue Tiffany's box hidden securely in my inside jacket pocket. It was a gift for Holly, another solid silver charm for her Holly bracelet. I knew she would love it and I couldn't resist buying her something because the smile on her face when she received it was a gift of my own._

_I was anxious to give it to her, or perhaps I was just anxious to see her. I had only been away from her for a short few hours but I hated the idea of being apart from her. I knew how that felt and it was the most agonising type of pain and desperation. _

_We had been married for a short six months, and I still couldn't believe we were finally married; after all we'd been through. Plus in my opinion the three month honeymoon wasn't long enough, and given the thoughts of my family they didn't believe it was either._

_I smirked as I passed through the door. However as soon as my foot touched the foyer I stopped. Something was off._

_I looked around the foyer of the grand house we had purchased in the rural outskirts of New York. There was nothing out of order. I listened for unusual sounds, but I could just hear the life of the family within. Emmett and Jasper were in the lounge watching the game while Rose and Alice worked through their online wardrobes. _

_I sniffed the air and all I smelt was Holly's food from last night, the lasagne she had made with Emmett._

_I went to join the others in the lounge. I could hear Holly was busy up in her room so I decided I would take the time to wrap the charm rather than just giving it to her in the bag._

_It was while I was in the lounge searching through one of the drawers on the bureau that I felt the first wave of energy push through the house. It was like an invisible surge of _something _that went straight to the place between my legs, hardening it instantly. I stiffened and looked around with wide eyes. Each one of my siblings in the room was frozen, each wondering whether what they felt was right._

_A moment later a second wave hit. My arousal grew, quick as the curse that left my mouth._

"_Holy shit, Jasper I thought you could control yourself, man." Emmett groaned._

"_Whatever this is it isn't me. It's coming from upstairs," Jasper growled and my eyes instantly darted upwards. _Holly?

_Emmett stood up so fast the chair he was sitting in fell back and landed on the floor. He stalked over to Rosalie, whipped the magazine from her hands and tossed it carelessly on the table. He pulled her against his body, kissing her deeply and bending her over the table as if he were going to crawl up inside her. I couldn't even find it in me to be surprised or disgusted. The feeling that was surging in me wouldn't allow it. Still they were never usually that physical in front of the family, none of us were, and yet it felt like right now we would all just disregard that principal._

_Jasper's thoughts were heading in the same direction as Emmett's, so were Alice's, and I was just glad Carlisle and Esme weren't in right now and were instead hunting in the forest nearby._

_Another surge reverberated through the house, rocking my body. I gripped the edge of the drawers hearing them crack under my strength._

**Holly, it must be Holly. But how? Why? **

_This wasn't anything like the lust Jasper sometimes pumped out by accident. It was so much more than that._

_I was distracted as I saw Jasper go for Alice like a tank, tearing across the room and whisking her away out the door._

**What is this?**_ I grabbed my hair and dragged my hand through it. Another surge and I felt my hand travel down with the urge for a release. I stopped myself and ran for the bedroom Holly and I shared._

_I threw the door open and sagged against the jamb. The fragrance in the room was like a garden in full bloom, the loveliest thing that had ever shot up my nose._

_The front of my jeans pounded, the drive to get out of them becoming all consuming._

"_Holly?" I said into the darkness of the room. The curtains were drawn which was unusual for Holly since she loved the scenery around our home._

_I heard a moan; I went inside, closing the door behind me._

Oh, God. The perfume of her..._ I started to growl deep in the back of my throat, and my fingers cranked into claws. My feet took over, marching me to the bed, my instincts leaving my mind behind._

_Holly was writhing on the bed, tangled in sheets. When she saw me she cried out, but then she settled down as if she willed herself calm._

"_I'm okay." She rolled over onto her stomach, her thighs rubbing together as she pulled the duvet over her body._

"_I'm...really...It's going to be-"_

_Another shock wave came out of her, so strong it pushed me back as she jack-knifed into a ball._

"_Go," She groaned. "Worse...when you're here. I'm sorry, Edward...Oh...God...I love you, please...Edward...Christ."_

_As she let out a ragged curse I stumbled back to the door even though everything in me was telling me to stay. I loved her and it was clear something was wrong but I couldn't think logically. My whole mind was a blur._

_Getting myself into the hallway was like hauling Emmett off a bear._

**What am I going to do? Should I call Carlisle? What if he reacts the same way as all of us? Should I have left her? She said it was worse when I was there, but what **_**was**_** it?**

_I paced the hallway at a speed that I was sure would burn a hole in the hard wood floor._ I should go back, there has to be something I can do.

_Another shock wave of heat rippled through the air. I could hear the others moaning and I was racked with the need to be with Holly. I had to be. There was no maybe about it. I wouldn't take her words as truth, not right now._

_I braced myself before re-entering the room. Opening the door I saw Holly still twisted in the sheets, her face shining with heat. She couldn't sweat but the flush across her body showed she was hot, too hot. Irresistibly hot. She had a pillow wedged between her legs as her body trembled._

_She started to sob as I neared her and I deliberated what to do. "It hurts..."_

"_I'm here for you, love. I love you. I'm not going anywhere." I brushed her beautifully rich brown hair out of her eyes. "I'll take care of you, love."_

"_Please...it hurts so badly." She rolled over, and her naked skin tempted me to distraction. She was beautiful, irresistible. "It hurts. It hurts so much, Edward. It won't stop. It's getting worse. I don't understand."_

_In a massive surge she undulated wildly, a blast of energy coming out of her body. The strength of the hormones she emitted blinded me with lust, and I got so caught up in my body's beastly response that I didn't feel anything...even as she grabbed my forearm with enough force to bend my bones._

_When the peak faded, I wondered if she'd broken my wrist. It wasn't that I cared about the pain, or even about the fact she seemed strong enough to do such a thing, I was too caught up in her and what she needed from me. She was hanging onto me desperately and the look on her face gave me a clear image of what she must have been going through inside._

"_Has this ever happened before, love?" I asked softly as she whimpered._

"_I don't know...Honeymoon, maybe...but never like this." Now that I thought about it there was a day during our honeymoon that held this similar feeling. Uncontrollable lust, undeniable and animalistic. But it was our honeymoon; most days had seemed like that. Then again it was that day that it seemed Holly needed me more than others. I hadn't thought twice about it._

_I stripped my clothes from me, the urgency decimating the fabrics in seconds. Holly was writhing in misery as I laid myself out next to her on the bed. She looked magnificent against the white pillows, her cheeks flushed, her lips parted, her skin almost glowing from the feeling she was emitting. But she was in such pain._

"_Shhh...easy," I whispered as I soothed her with my cool skin, kissing the flesh that seemed to burn. As our naked skin brushed Holly moaned and bit her lip._

_Then instinct took over. I wasn't gentle, I wasn't patient, but neither was she. It seemed to help, being joined to her, filling her. Her pain seemed to stop. By the time I felt myself release into her, her eyes were closed, her breathing even, the deep grooves in her face gone._

_Her hands ran up my ribs and onto my shoulders as I caught my breath above her, feeling the frenzy leave my body. Her face turned into my bicep and she sighed as she inhaled my scent._

_I touched her hair, spreading the warm brown waves across the creamy pillow. I pulled out and went to the en suite bathroom to clean up. I swiped the washcloth across myself as I tried to think what had just happened. What was possibly wrong with her? When I returned though she'd started to undulate again, the need in her rising. _

"_Edward..." she moaned. "It's back."_

_I left the bathroom, throwing the washcloth aside and mounted her again, but before I pushed into her I looked into her glassy eyes and felt the worry battling with love and lust I felt for her. Was I helping? Should I be doing this when I didn't know what the consequences were?_

"_Please..." she whimpered as she writhed again._

"_I can call Carlisle. We can try to understand this." I stared down at her, waiting for her answer._

"_After," she whispered and that was the only confirmation I needed._

I was sucked back into reality as the memory left me. That first time had been the worst. It had been awful, like period pain multiplied and enhanced. In a way that was exactly what it was.

We'd talked to Carlisle when everything had calmed down, it had only lasted twenty four hours, but that had seemed like a lifetime when my body was constantly caught between agony and bliss. After tests and a little conjecture we learned what we now call the Needing was simply my body's compromise between the human monthly fertility cycle and a vampire's infertility. It occurs every three months, lasts twenty four hours, and is basically a time when I am fertile. Luckily, once we knew this, Edward and I were careful and there have been no 'accidents.' We're not ready for children, I'm not even sure I want them at all but in a way it's nice to have that option still left to me. Of course we have to leave when the Needing comes because the hormones and emotions I pump out aren't that ideal for the others.

I ran along the edge of the cliffs, dodging into the forest where Edward ran. I sensed him before he grabbed me but I didn't choose to stop him.

He had me pinned beneath him within moments and I sighed as he placed kisses on my neck.

"Being back here just reminds me our night in the meadow, remember, our first time," he whispered against my skin and I shivered as the memory. That night had been perfect—the beginning of so many wonderful years together. "What do you say to a re-enactment" Edward grinned as he looked into my eyes and hitched my leg up around his hip.

"Our ten years are up, Edward, and then some. We have to start prioritising," I scolded playfully as I leaned up to place a kiss on his lips.

"That's not what you said on the plane from Paris."

"I was in a tin can, 30 000ft in the air for eight hours, what did you expect to happen?" I teased as I flipped us and straddled him, looking down on his smiling face. His hair was mussed up with leaves and twigs but somehow it just made him all the more tempting.

"Come on, love, just let me show you how much I love you." I smirked as his hands crept up my legs, dipping beneath the hem of my red sun dress.

"You've shown me twice already today. Now's family time." I stood up, taking his hand and checking the watch on his wrist. 13.05. "Crap we must be the first vampires to be late. We were supposed to be there at one." Edward chuckled and took off running, his hand in mine as we manoeuvred the forest together.

It didn't take us long to see the little white house nestled amongst the meadow flowers and leafy trees. It was a modest two storey house, a family home, but it wasn't ours. Not the Cullens.

I grinned as I spun in Edward's hands and dragged him eagerly to the bright red front door. I could hear everyone was already inside and my excitement was mounting by the second.

"Two years, Edward. We finally get to see them properly after two years." I felt him place a kiss into my hair as his arm wound around my waist. I'd shared countless phone calls and spent hours on Skype and the internet talking but it's not quite the same as seeing them in person. Sure we saw them at Christmases but a day isn't the same. They were my family. Every single one of them, plus a couple of additions.

The door flew open and I was swamped by the scent of lemon drops and roses as Ashleigh wrapped her arms around me.

"Holly!" she gasped into my ear while I hugged her tight.

"Sorry we're late, Ash." I pulled away with a smile.

"Oh it's alright. I think I can guess why." She leant forward and pulled a leaf from Edward's hair with a smirk.

She didn't have to reach up very fair to pull it out because she'd grown to be a tall 5ft 10 in the past fifteen years since her fifteen year old self.

Edward grinned and Ashleigh opened her arms into which he went easily. "You look well, Ashleigh," he said as they separated.

"Yeah, I look good for thirty year old right?" She giggled and stepped out of the door way to let us in. Her once bright blonde hair was now a less brassy colour and fell in a sleek style around her pretty face. She was still all legs, cheekbones, and big blue eyes but she wasn't young anymore. She looked mature and happy in her body. It was strange because she was, biologically, eleven years older than me and yet I was the one that looked eleven years younger in comparison. Still it didn't seem to bother her that she aged and I didn't.

Her house smelt like the perfect blend of the woods and the sweet world of the supernatural.

I heard the familiar pitter patter of little feet and the giggle that sounded like sunshine. "Uncle Eddie!" I smiled widely as the little four year old girl sprinted into Edwards arms and laughed freely as he spun her around, throwing her into the air to make it seem like she's flying.

"How is my favourite niece?" he asked with a smile as the little girl wiped her long raven hair from her beaming face. She was the only one who could call him Eddie, well her and me that is.

"Mummy let me lick out the icing bowl!" she squealed, her voice as sweet as the sugar she'd consumed.

"Aren't you a lucky little girl, Freya," Edward said before he tickled her sides, releasing another bout of infectious laughter.

"I'm starting to regret that decision," Ashleigh said with a maternal smile as she looked at her daughter.

"Is that Holly and Edward I hear?" We all walked into the lounge when we heard Seth's voice. The whole family was there, the wolves and their families, the Cullens, and my mother and father. Each and every one of them was packed into that little room, and it was the cosiest scene I could ever have imagined.

Edward popped Freya on the floor and she ran off to play with the other children that were playing in the garden amongst the bubbles and balloons. It was her fourth birthday today, four years since Ashleigh had been rushed to Forks Hospital, four years since I became an auntie, and four years since my parents became grandparents. It was surreal.

Edward and I separated as we went around each of our friends in the room, sharing hugs and stories as we were reunited with the people we loved. Our family.

I smiled as I saw Bella and Jake talking with Carlisle and Esme. They had a little black haired girl with them and she clung to Jakes leg as her large chocolate eyes gazed around her, looking at the children playing outside with a nervous but forlorn look on her face.

I went over, nodded to Bella and Jake and knelt down to talk to the little girl.

"Hello, what's your name?"

"Isla," she said with a cute nervous voice.

"That's a lovely name, Isla. My name's Holly. Do you want to come with me and get a cupcake?" I offered her my hand and her little fingers wrapped around my own, her caramel skin in contrast with my own cream. She sucked on her thumb as I led her out to the backyard where the cupcakes and other party pieces sat out in the mild sunshine. I picked up a pink one with flowers on and handed it to Isla.

"Freya." I called my niece over, grinning as she danced her way towards us, her deep blue eyes glittering with her excitement. I could see a little bit of all of us in her.

"Holly!" she bounded into my arms and I inhaled her meadow scent deeply. She was like the perfect blend of floral softness and the musky scent of the woods. The perfect blend of her mother and father.

"Freya, this is Isla." I introduced the little girl and as she stood with the pink cupcake in her hand.

"Hi, Isla. Do you want to come play? We're having a fashion show!" I looked up to see clothes strewn all over the grass and some of the girls painting the boys' faces with red lipstick.

Isla nodded beside me, and I let her go as I watched Freya skip off with her towards the clothes box.

I turned and returned to the adults' party. Freya was the next generation, the generation born into a world where the Quileutes and the Cullens were more than just acquaintances who put up with each other. We were friends. Ashleigh and Seth's wedding had joined us for life and the children would continue that relationship as time passed.

Ashleigh had started and maintained her relationship with Seth after New Year's Eve. They were unshakeable. Separate universes were nothing compared to how they felt for each other. At their wedding—that mystical event where it seemed the supernatural blended seamlessly with 'normality'—Seth had stood up and talked about the power of imprinting. He said that what he felt for Ashleigh may not have been an imprint but it was so much more than that. He didn't feel compelled to be with her, he just wanted to be. He wasn't held in her presence by something irresistible and uncontrollable, he was there because that was the only place he wanted to be. It didn't kill him to be away from her, but it hurt to the point that it felt like his heart would break into a million pieces. He loved her with his whole heart, mind, body, and soul, and it had nothing to do with magic, it was just because of who she was. Those words had struck harder that he could have imagined. That day, all my worries for their future, for the possible imprint that could be out there for Seth, dissipated. They were meant for each other, and no imprint could ever come between what they had.

I smiled as I thought of this and saw Ash and Seth standing beside each other. They had grown into amazing people. They were still the same as they were when they were young, but on top of that there was layers of life, layers of maturity, responsibility, understanding, and most of all comfort. This was their life and they were living it exactly how they wanted in this little white house on the borderline which once separated the Cullen land from the Quileute land. No more, we were joined; we were a part of one group.

"Holly, darling." I spun and saw my parents smiling widely at me as they peeked outside at Freya.

"Mum, Dad. How are you?" I grabbed hugs from both of them, comforting myself against the papery feel of their skin and the lines on their faces. They were getting older, and some day I would have to let them go, but not yet. I clung to that fact. They were here now and hopefully they still would be in ten years time, maybe even twenty.

"We're fine. The house back home is fine too, not that we much time there now. The people here have welcomed us so warmly," Mum explained with a smile that she cast around the group.

"So you're still living through the portal. I thought you might have chosen to stay here."

"We thought it would be nice to keep the house, to keep the portal open, just in case. Jasper has also helped us secure a contact that will ensure the house isn't sold once we're gone, not until you make a final decision." Dad raised his hand in greeting to Jasper who nodded in recognition.

"Anyway, tell us all about your travels. You must have visited everywhere now." Mum grinned and her pale blue eyes twinkled as I dived into the tales of mine and Edwards travels around the globe. We had spent most of our years jumping from country to country seeing the exquisite sights of the world and discovering all it had to offer. During my stories I felt Edward's arm wrapped around my waist. After that he filled in the parts I couldn't and vice versa like the team and partnership we were.

The day turned into night and slowly the children fell asleep and the parents left to put them in their beds so they could dream in comfort. It was only Freya who protested and demanded that she be allowed to stay downstairs.

That was why she was now fast asleep in Esme's arms while Rosalie stroked her ebony hair, allowing it to spill out over Esme's arms. Her eyelashes flickered on her cheeks like black feather dusters and her pink lips pouted as she dreamt. She was a beautiful little girl, and I certainly wouldn't want to be Seth when she became a woman. She would be stunning with her exotic blend of features and vibrant personality. It was impossible not to love her.

"I should get her upstairs," Seth murmured as he heaved himself off the chair, leaving his beer on the side table. Ashleigh soon came round and made sure there was a coaster underneath it.

He gathered Freya up in his arms, smiling down on her as he walked slowly from the room.

Ashleigh bustled in an arm full of glasses heading towards the kitchen.

"Please allow us to that, Ashleigh." Esme offered and Ash nodded gratefully.

"Kids parties, they're bloody murder to clean up after." Ashleigh huffed and slumped in the couch between me and Rosalie while Esme blurred around us.

"Are you still up for Seattle tomorrow, Ash?" Rosalie asked as Ash nodded excitedly.

"I've been dying to go shopping. I'm in need of some retail therapy. Are you coming Alice? Holly?" I nodded, as Alice babbled excitedly about where she wanted to go, what styles she's seen recently, what will suit Ash, what's coming in and what's going out. After a while I zoned out and just focussed on the feel of Edward's fingers stroking through my hair as he talked with Emmett and Carlisle. My parents were already upstairs in the guest bedroom, their age and the birthday party taking its toll on them.

Eventually it was time to go and we each filtered out of the little white house, leaving Seth and Ashleigh in the doorway, his arm around her waist and her hand reaching up to touch his cheek. It hurt to leave them so soon after seeing them again after two years, but I knew I'd see her tomorrow and the day after that and after that and even after that if I wanted to. We would be living nearby for a while now that Forks was safe for us to live in again. Fifteen years may not have been that long, but it was long enough for us. We wouldn't be attending high school this time around, and Carlisle would be helping to set up a special hospital in La Push which would be equipped to deal with the wolves, and therefore would prevent them from being discovered in Forks.

When we walked through the door of the Cullen house it felt like I'd never left. It was exactly same, but of course it would be, a house doesn't grow, it doesn't age, it just stays exactly how it always has been.

The walls echoed with memories and the floor boards sang the hollow songs of footsteps that had once walked upon them.

I placed a kiss on Edward's cheek, "We're home."

"Home sweet home," he whispered as he returned the kiss. "Holly?"

"Yeah?" I said as we followed the rest of the family through to the lounge.

"Earlier, on the plane, you said to remind you about Alice." Edward recited the words cautiously and I felt a light bulb flick back on.

"Oh yeah!" I squealed and Edward looked at me curiously. "I just want to try something." I replied to his questioning look. I hadn't told him what it was about Alice that I needed reminding about because I wanted it to be a surprise. That was if it actually worked.

I moved Edward and indicated the white sofa, while I turned to Alice as she sat in Jasper's lap. The others watched me as I knelt down in front of her and took her hands in mine.

"Alice, I wanted to try something. As you all know I've been working on my gift when Edward and I were away..."

"I bet that wasn't all you were working on." Emmett interrupted and I shot him a smirk.

"Anyway. I wanted to try something, if you'd let me. I mean it's completely up to you." Alice tilted her head quizzically.

"What is it, Holls?"

"I want to see if I can...give you your human memories back," I explained even though my throat had gotten tight.

"Really? Do you think it'll work?" she gasped as she shifted on Jasper's lap, angling herself to face me directly. Her face was so eager that I almost regretted my words. What if I couldn't do it? What if nothing happened and she was left disappointed?

I shook those doubts away. I had tried this before only it had been with a human memory Edward couldn't remember and his memories weren't as tightly hidden as Alice's.

"I don't know, honestly. But I thought I could try. If you don't want to I completely understand."

"Are you kidding? Of course I want to try. Oh God, Holly, if this works..." He voice broke off as her voice shook. She beamed at me although her eyes were glassy with tears she couldn't shed.

"Are you sure, Darlin'? Like Holly says she's not positive it will work. And if it does we don't know what will turn up." Jasper reasoned into the silence. The whole family was sitting anxiously watching as I held Alice's hands in mine, waiting for her decision.

"If it doesn't work then I lose nothing Jasper, I've never had memories so it would make no difference. But if it does. Just imagine. I could see my mother, my father; I could know who I was before."

"We don't know the consequences, Alice. I'm not sure if we should try this before testing Holly's gift." Carlisle added but Alice's hands tightened around mine.

"This is what I want, Carlisle." She said definitively. "What do I need to do, Holly?" Alice asked, her golden eyes set seriously on mine.

"OK. I need you to think as far back as you can, right to the point where darkness comes." I clutched her hands in mine as she closed her eyes and her face creased with concentration.

As we sat there with our hands joined I watched as Alice's vampire life flashed through my mind. It was like watching a movie in rewind from the conversation we had just had right the way back through the years with the Cullens, the years without them, the meeting with Jasper, the desolate time before him, the fight against her thirst, the times when that fight failed her. On and on it went in high speed until I felt the agony of the change and I found myself drifting in darkness. There was nothing, just static and blankness. This was where my mind would have to stretch to its limits, my gift tested to its extreme. When I had rediscovered one of Edward's lost human memories it had been hard but easy at the same time. I could feel it hovering in the static, I could see it blurring in the darkness. But here, in Alice's mind, there was nothing.

"It's so blank." I murmured as I became accustomed to the nothingness.

"There's no pressure, Holly." Edward spoke but his voice was distant. I was so submerged in Alice's memory that reality was a far distant place to me now.

"There has to be something here. Something." I was working on the idea that if you delete a file on a computer, and delete it from the recycle bin then it may seemed gone but it isn't—not completely. Sometimes there is a ghost left over. And sometimes you can find that ghost with a recovery program and you can get back the file that was lost.

I expanded my mind, growing into the space surrounding me. I was searching for the edges, the places where new memories formed, or perhaps the place where the old ones were hidden.

I kept growing until I felt a pressure in my mind, the pressure of being blocked, confined.

I heard Alice's distant scream but it barely touched me.

"Holly, Holly, stop you're hurting her." Carlisle's voice intervened but just at that moment I felt something, it tickled my mind, weak but present.

"No. It's here. I can't stop." I ground out as I pressed on further.

I heard growls and a commotion in the back of my mind but it seemed so far off, as if I were underwater or caught within a bubble.

I searched tentatively for the weak little memory that caught my attention. It seemed like hours, like searching for a keyhole in pitch darkness. I was scrabbling and pushing but finally I found it.

A tiny hole in the darkness, a speck of something other than the black that filled my mind.

I smiled as I tugged at the area around the hole, expanding it, tearing it open.

Soon it was large enough for me to reach through. And when I did, when I reached into that place and pulled back, it all came tumbling out.

"_Mama, mama, look!" I said as I held a china doll in my hand, her hair was brushed and I'd changed her clothes. She couldn't wear a frilly dress for a tea party; she had to wear the powder blue one._

_A woman turned to look at me as I sat on my bed, looking over her shoulder as she fussed with my wardrobe._

"_She looks beautiful, Mary." The woman said as she came over and bent to kiss my forehead, her long black braid tickling my face. She smelt like apricots and flour. She was my mother, I knew that. It was a feeling set deep within me._

I gasped as I swam in the memories.

_Sunday service, I'm in a white frothy dress and my long dark hair is held back with a white hair band. I'm holding Celia's little hand in mine as we sing hymns. She's holding her battered teddy in her other. She's my living doll. Mama let me dress her today, so she's in my old lilac part dress. Pops thought it was a little too extravagant for church, but Mama loved my choice._

"_It's not real, Mary. You just have to ignore it," mama said sadly as she stroked my cheek. I'd woken from a nightmare again. It was filled with darkness, and pain, and strange people in white coats. I'd had so many of these dreams, and they seemed so real. Then there were times when I saw something happen to Mama or Pops, or Celia, but I saw it not with my eyes, but with my mind. And I saw it before it happened. Mama hated it. I could see it in her eyes. And Pops, he didn't speak of it. He ignored it, ignored Mama, and ignored me._

"_I love you, Mama." I whispered as I watched her cry. She leant forward and kissed my forehead, but she didn't say anything, she just left me in the darkness._

"_No! No! I don't want to go! Mama, please, don't make me!" I screamed as I looked over the man's shoulder towards the porch way of my house. Cecelia was standing between Mama and Pops, they were hugging and the tears on Mama's face ruined her pretty features._

"_Mama, why does Mary have to go?" Cecelia asked as she tugged on Mama's cream linen skirt._

"_Mary's not well, Cissy." Mama said but it's distant as the man carrying me walks on despite my kicks and screams._

"_Does she have a cold, Mama?" Cissy asked and I screamed that I didn't. I screamed that I was good, that I didn't mean to make Mama cry. I scream and cry until my eyes run dry._

I jumped from Alice's mind as the volume of her human memories threatens to smother me. There were so many that were happy, so many sunny days and sunny smiles. But then the darkness came like rolling clouds smothering everything in their wake. There was sadness and desperation, but even in those times there was a little spark of happiness. I knew that spark wasn't based on circumstance or the situation; it was just because Alice was Alice and that spark was innate to her.

My eyes flew open and I saw Alice sat her eyes glazed over. She had moved from her position on Jasper's lap, but that wasn't because she moved. It was because Jasper had moved. He was being held back by Emmett and Carlisle, his eyes black with worry and anger. Opposite him and closest to me was Edward in the same state as Jasper, except he had Esme and Rosalie grasping at him.

"What happened?" I asked as Jasper's eyes darted furiously to Alice and back to me.

"She was screaming. You should have stopped. What have you done?" He growled and Edward hissed n warning.

"It worked." I murmured as I cast a doubtful glance at Alice. She still hadn't moved. I had done the right thing, hadn't I?

"What happened, Holly? What's happening to her?" Carlisle asked as he held Jasper.

"I found them, there's so many, and they're remarkable. Absolutely fascinating." I breathed as I went to touch Alice's hand.

I touched on her mind and I could see the memories still spilling forth, rearranging themselves into order within her vampire mind.

"She's just adjusting. There was a lot to figure out."

"She's fine, Jasper. I promise." Edward explained as he calmed himself down.

"Let me go." Jasper said in a flat voice. Emmett checked with Carlisle who nodded. Jasper was at Alice's side in an instant, wrapping her in his arms as he searched her signs of injury.

We each sat down and waited with baited breath for Alice to come around. It felt like hours. It felt like the time would never end.

But eventually she woke up, her eyes cleared, and her blank expression sprang to life. In a second she was Alice again.

She leapt at me and wrapped her little arms around my neck. I could feel her sobs hitting the side of my neck and I brushed her hair as I held her.

"Thank you, Holly. Thank you so much." She sniffed as she laughed in my arms. I called Jasper forward with my hand and he wrapped his arms around Alice's back, the two of us surrounding her.

I looked up into Jasper's eyes and the gratitude there nearly knocked me down.

My mind took me back to a time that seemed so far from now_._

_Jasper talked about meeting Alice and the feeling he got when he met her. Like fate._

"_It felt so right to be near her, to hold her hand. Like it was missing from me all this time and I finally found it." He smiled; I rubbed my palm as I felt as if something should have been there._

"_I wanted to give her everything. Anything to keep that smile on her beautiful pixie face" His eyes glowed with love and my heart swelled knowing Alice had everything she could ever want sitting in this man next to me._

_Sadness swept over him briefly._

"_What's wrong Jazz?"_

"_I can't give her the one thing that would make her complete. I know she doesn't mind all that much that she can't remember her change but I think it bothers her that she doesn't remember her human life. Her family. If she had any friends. Her ambitions." _

As if Jasper had seen what I was remembering he nodded and smiled and said a heartfelt thank you.

I released Alice and she turned into Jasper's arms as I felt Edward hold me in his.

I had been a part of this family for fifteen years, give or take, and I had always felt immense gratitude for the way they accepted me and loved me regardless of the mistakes I'd made. I'd promised to pay them back and after all these years I'd finally found a way to do it. It wasn't material possessions or extravagant displays of emotion. But I knew to give Alice back her memories was something worth more to all of us as a whole than anything I could have bought.

As I saw Alice recounting her memories to the family—the looks on their faces and the joy in her eyes—I had never felt more settled, more at peace. This was where I belonged. This was where I wanted to spend my forever.

This was my happily ever after.

**The End**


End file.
